Portent

My thoughts keep returning to Emma's brilliant green eyes. Those emerald irises, so captivating in their luster and glossiness, evoke a strange feeling in my gut every time I think of them.

Whenever I am in her presence, it feels like my heart is going to burst out of my chest. There's something about those eyes that make me feel so alive and energized. They are filled with a mysterious power that draws me in and captivates me completely.

When I look into her eyes, I feel as though nothing else matters. Everything else fades away and all that remains is the connection between us. Her gaze is so strong and intense, it's like she can see right through me to my very soul. She has a way of making me feel seen and understood in a way no one else ever has before.

I didn't understand these feelings or why they were affecting me so and quite frankly the intensity of them scared me. Only a few weeks ago I felt nothing but contempt and hatred for this girl, and now I was calling her on the phone, visiting her in the hospital and teaching her to ride horses. I was confused - dumbfounded - by this sudden change in my feelings.

I was convinced that the only explanation for my newfound feelings had to be her eyes. Those beautiful eyes seemed to have some kind of magical power over me, and I was completely powerless to resist it. Every time I looked into them, something inside me shifted. I felt lighter, more alive, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was completely and utterly bewitched.

I was amazed by the power of her gaze and I couldn't help but wonder what kind of secret she held within those depths. What kind of knowledge did she possess that made her eyes so captivating? I wanted to know everything about her, to explore every corner of her soul and uncover all of its secrets.

Emma had cast a spell on me and I could not break free.

My confusion about these feelings was intense. I had gone from hating her to being completely and utterly captivated by her in a matter of weeks. I couldn't explain why my emotions had shifted so quickly or why I felt so strongly for her all of a sudden. It seemed like something inside me had changed and I was powerless to resist it.

The uncertainty of my feelings only added to the confusion. I had no idea what was happening or why it was happening. All I knew was that I felt strongly for this girl, and I couldn't explain it. It seemed like a strange force was pulling us together and I wasn't sure if I should be scared or excited by it.

Was this love? Was this connection real or just an illusion? There were so many questions in my mind and yet no answers could be found.

All I knew was that I felt something for her, something strong and powerful. It was like an invisible bond between us that kept drawing us closer together.

It's possible that my newfound feelings were partly driven by guilt over how I had treated her in the past. It could have been a subconscious desire to make up for my mistakes and prove to her that I wasn't the same person I used to be.

That said, it felt like more than just guilt. There was something between us that seemed almost magical, something that made me feel alive and connected to her in ways no one else ever has before. Whatever it was, it was strong and undeniable.

Her smile was like sunshine on a cloudy day, lighting up my world and bringing warmth to my heart. Her lips curved in a gentle arc that seemed to speak of a hidden joy and her eyes sparkled with mischievousness. It was as if she knew some secret that I didn't, something that made her happy no matter what the situation.

Every time she smiled at me, I felt like I was the only person in the room who mattered. Her gaze was like a beacon of hope, reminding me that life can still be beautiful even when it's hard. That it's possible to find joy even in the darkest of times.

It was an indescribable feeling and one I will never forget.

Even while she lay there in a hospital bed, beaten and bruised from her injury, she still managed to smile.

Ananias was determined to take his daughter home, despite her injuries. He made sure that she received the medical care she needed and then worked with the doctors and nurses to get her discharged after just three weeks in the hospital.

Ananias was still skeptical of me and my abilities, but he eventually conceded to Emma's pleas and allowed her to continue taking lessons with me. He made it clear that any further accidents would not be tolerated though, and I was determined to prove him wrong.

I took extra care in teaching Emma, making sure she was following all safety protocols and learning the proper techniques. I also worked hard to make sure she felt comfortable and confident on her horse, giving her the support and encouragement she needed to build up her skills. Eventually, Ananias began to trust me more and his attitude toward me softened. He even came to watch some of Emma's lessons, amazed at how much progress she had made.

I could feel Ananias's gaze on me as I taught Emma, and I knew he was watching me closely. He wanted to make sure I was doing my job properly, and that his daughter was safe in my care. At first, the pressure of his scrutiny made me nervous, but soon enough I found myself rising to the challenge. Knowing that he was trusting me with his daughter's safety gave me a newfound sense of confidence and purpose.

With every lesson we had, I could see Emma growing more confident and competent in her riding skills. I also noticed Ananias's attitude toward me changing as well; it seemed as though he began to understand why Emma wanted to ride with me so badly and even offered words of encouragement and support. Seeing how far both Emma and Ananias had come since our first meeting filled me with joy. It felt like all the hard work had finally paid off.

As I put the gear away from today's lessons, I could feel his steely gaze piercing me. It made me uncomfortable, to say the least, but I acted like I was none the wiser and continued putting the equipment away. Ananias cleared his throat and I could no longer act like he wasn't there. I put the bridle I was holding onto its hook and turn to face him.

He was leaning on the central pillar and when I turned around he stood straight and came towards me. He was between me and the exit – I had nowhere to go if he suddenly decided he had a problem with me. Ananias stopped right in front of me.

"You have done a great job with my daughter," he said. "I can see how much progress she has made in her riding, and I'm grateful for your dedication."

Ananias held out his hand, obviously intending for me to shake. I gingerly did so, smiling awkwardly, but I relaxed.

"Ah, well, uh, she has a lot of natural talent," I said. "Really, it's just a matter of me making sure Emery doesn't flip out. I keep suggesting Nestor or another horse but she insists on using Emery instead."

"Emma has always been very headstrong," Ananias said. "It has caused… problems… in the past."

His statement made me wonder what kind of hijinks Emma had gotten into. I made a mental note to ask her later. I smiled slightly and rubbed the leather of the bridle between my finger and thumb.

"I did, too. It made my parents so mad. I was always up to something no good. They even threatened to send me to military school."

I laughed mirthlessly and sighed deeply. As much as I had been enjoying myself these past several weeks, there still remained a lot of resentment about my life here in Winding River. I wanted to believe that things could change but… could they? Was that possible? I thought about Emma's sudden arrival in my life, and that all too familiar twinge in my stomach returned, and I closed my eyes tightly, willing it to go away.

"Is something wrong?" Ananias asked. I opened my eyes and shook my head.

"No, it's nothing," I said. "Just thinking about the past."

"Ah, yes. That ever unforgiving mountain that looms over us all," he said, placing a hand on a brown mare's head. "I have many regrets in my own past that still follow me today."

I looked at him, not saying anything,

"What do you regret, Harper? What keeps you up at night?"

A lot.

"I don't know. All I ever wanted was to live a normal life, but I've been stuck here on this farm my whole life. I want to go out, experience life in the city. Travel, do things other teenagers do. My parents have never let me."

"Do you know why they never let you?"

I sighed in frustration and placed a boot on the gate to one of the enclosures.

"My parents are very traditional. They don't like the idea of me going out and partying and hanging out with 'bad influences'. They think it's un-Christian. I feel… I don't know… stifled, or smothered, or something."

Ananias chuckled and looked over at me.

"I'm not going to tell you to disobey your parents, but you can't let yourself be smothered, as you say, out of living your life. Your parents will never stop loving you, but you're growing girl, and you need to experience life."

I grimaced and fiddled with a piece of hay.

"I guess, yeah."

I sighed again and tossed it away. Ananias and I both left the barn and headed back to the house. Emma was sitting on the porch swing, apparently waiting for us.

"Look at you two, getting all chummy!" she teased. I made a pfft sound and joined her on the swing, while Ananias went inside. "What were you two talking about?"

I leaned back on the swing and looked up at the rafters of the porch.

"Just stuff about the past and shit. He asked me if I had anything I regret in my life."

Emma looked at me inquisitively.

"Do you?" she asked. I blew out a rough breath, a cloud of fog escaping.

"I guess," I said. "I don't know."

"What is it you regret?"

I rubbed my face and turned my head to look at her.

"What do you regret?"

Emma seemed a little taken aback at my sudden turning of the question. She furrowed her brow as if deep in thought, then a light seemed to go off in her head.

"Ah, I regret not taking more chances at the things I wanted when I was younger. If I could go back and do them over again I would."

"Mmm… Sounds nice," I said. Emma playfully hit me in the shoulder and I snorted. "I guess I kind of agree. I told your dad my one wish is that I had a normal life. I wanted to go to the big cities, spend money, go partying – that sort of thing. But my parents never allowed it because I had 'too much responsibility' and it was 'not Christian'."

"Not Christian? Since when is having fun not Christian?" Emma asked, guffawing.

"You tell me, rich girl," I said. Emma pouted at being called that and harrumphed. I smirked.

"You would never understand. You get to travel and do whatever you want. You have more money than you could ever spend. You're not stuck on this farm with the expectation that you would take over some day. You have the freedom to go anywhere and do anything."

Emma shook her head.

"That's not true at all. Don't you remember? I said my dad doesn't like me doing anything he doesn't approve of. He's been like that ever since I was a little girl. I hate it. He watches me a like a hawk."

"I guess we're both unhappy with our lives," I said.

"I wouldn't say I'm unhappy. I just… want more. I feel so out of place in my own home," she retorted. I could see a little bit of light leave Emma's eyes as she said, and she looked so crestfallen.

I stood up and stretched.

"Come with me. We're going riding," I said. Emma looked at me in surprise.

"Huh? But we just finished not too long ago."

"No, I mean actually riding. I think you're ready for it," I said.

Emma shot up out of the swing, a sparkle in her eyes. She grabbed my hands, much to my shock.

"Really? You think so?"

I nodded, pulling my hands of her grip.

"Let me go inform the adults, first. They'd worry if I don't."

Emma nodded and ran off to the stable. I watched her for a moment then went inside. Both of our parents were in the living room, discussing business and other things.

"Well, to be quite honest, our profits have gone up over sixty-six percent in the past quarter. We expect this expansion to see even more of an increase to our profit margin, while also providing over two thousand jobs for the citizens in the surrounding area. It's a win-win for everyone involved," Ananias said, taking a sip of his white wine. My father nodded.

"I have to agree with you. It sounds like you have everything pretty well laid out. But I have to ask, how will this affect the farmland? Oil drilling isn't exactly a clean operation and this is my life. Can I be assured your operations won't negatively affect me or my family?"

Ananias shook his head.

"You have nothing to worry about, Hank. The oil field is miles away, next to that old prospector site near Gold Tooth."

"Gold Tooth?" I asked. "That's on Kootenai land. You can't just go in there and set up a drilling operation."

Ananias looked at me shrewdly. My father spoke up.

"Watch your mouth, young lady. Mr. Brown isn't some land grabber. I'm sure he's worked out all the necessary paperwork."

Ananias nodded his head.

"Indeed. The tribal leaders and I have worked out quite a nice deal in order for me to set up shop there. They get a cut of the profits and I get access to the land to drill."

He spread his arms and smiled.

"Win-win."

"Win-win," I muttered. My dad looked over at me, frowning.

"What did you need, Harper?" he asked. There was a bite to his tone. I hesitated for a moment.

"Uh, Emma and I were going to ride up to Jagged Rock. We won't be gone too long," I said. Ananias looked at me.

"Jagged Rock? That sounds dangerous. I won't allow Emma to go there."

"It's not. That's just what it's called. You think Gold Tooth is actually a giant golden tooth? It's just a name."

"Harper!" my mother exclaimed. "Apologize now!"

"No. He's making assumptions without knowing anything," I said, crossing my arms.

"Like you did just a minute ago when you heard about his expansion into Kootenai territory?" my dad said. I put my hands on my hips in defiance.

"That's completely different! Native Americans have a history of their land being stolen!"

"Harper that's enough!" my dad said, steel in his voice. "You're not going and that's final!"

"Screw you!" I shouted, and I stormed out of the room.

"Harper get back here!"

My parents called after me as I ran out of the house. I ran across the yard and past the stable.

"Harper what-"

I ignored Emma and ran past her. There was an intense burning inside my chest. The sky was darkening quickly. My breath came out in short and heavy gasps as I ran, and thunder rumbled in the distance. I could hear my parents calling out after me, but their voices grew faint and distant, as did Emma's. I just kept running and running, past the bend leading to our farm, down the road and up the hill.

The prairie stretched out to the west for miles, an endless sea of grass poking up through the snow and ice. Thunder cracked and lightning lit up the sky in a brilliant flash of white. The freezing rain began to come down. I kept running, ignoring the stitch in my side. My eyes stung as the tears finally came, or maybe it was the freezing rain that was now pouring down. I didn't care. They certainly didn't. Everything I said was constantly ignored or shot back at me. Nothing I said mattered. I didn't matter. I was sick of this life. Sick of feeling like I was just someone's second choice. I hated my life. I was done. I stopped running and stood there, heaving in the downpour. The rain smacked hard against the pavement, and shook the leaves of the trees and bushes on the side of the road. A pair of headlights came down the road and a truck sped by, spraying me with rain water, but I didn't care. I was already past the point of being soaked through. I began walking down the road, still trying to catch my breath. In the distance I could very faintly hear my name being called and I started running again.

I came to a bridge crossing a small ravine. Steel guardrails on either side. I wiped my face but it did little good. I breathed in and out, slowing my heart rate and walked to the middle of the bridge. I saw Emma's face in my mind. Her eyes. Her emerald green eyes, and I clutched my head, heaving and trying to make the images go away. It wasn't working. I screamed and fell to my knees.

Why was she a constant in my head? In my dreams? What was it about Emma that made her invade my every waking moment? I stopped heaving and stood up, walking to the guardrail. I had to make it stop. It had to stop. I placed one foot on the bottom railing and clutched the top of the railing tightly. The steel dug into my fingers, stinging sharply but I ignored it. It would stop soon. Everything would. I stared down at the ravine, so far away but so close. My breath caught in my chest as I steeled myself for what I was about to do.

No more second guessing my life. No more feeling trapped.

It would all be over.

"Harper!"

I whipped around to see Emma standing there. Her lace top soaked through. Her shoes were untied. She was gasping for breath, her hands held up in front of her chest. Her hair was flat and matted to her face.

"Em-"

I stumbled backwards and went over the railing.

"Harper, no!"