THE TENTH

I am too hot. The sound of birds chirping filters through my subconscious, and I surmise that it must be early, but given that we have been asleep since early evening, I have had more than my normal eight hours. I am trapped under Taylor's arm, but as I squirm to get more room, he suddenly rolls onto his back, freeing me. I study him sleeping, taking note of the way his normally spiky hair falls forward, his chin covered in stubble, his broad shoulders and his sensuous mouth.

Thirst and my rumbling stomach give me the motivation to get out of bed, grab a robe and head downstairs, careful not to wake a sleeping Taylor. I make myself a coffee and pop in some bread to toast and then settle myself on the small couch overlooking the garden. 

My mind drifts back to the night's activities, and I remember why my body is protesting this morning. Even just thinking about it brings a flush to my face, and I start to feel horny enough to contemplate heading back upstairs to wake Taylor. 

I don't understand what Taylor sees in me. It is not like I have model looks or sparkling wit. The thoughts start to whirl around my head. I am not good enough…It will be just like the other two…Taylor doesn't really want me…He will be bored of me…Who wants a chubby, ginger girl? The negativity darkens my mood, and I find myself glowering into my mug, unaware that Taylor has come down the stairs until I feel a soft kiss on the top of my head. I start out of my reverie and stumble to stop my mug from dropping to the floor.

"Sh—shit, sorry," I exclaim loudly as I look down at the spilt coffee on the sofa. "Fucking hell, I can't even hold a cup of coffee without spilling it," I grumble to myself as I get a cloth to clean up my mess.

"Don't stress, Abs. It'll come out," Taylor says evenly, seemingly unaware of my inner turmoil. But I am wrong. Taylor comes to stand in front me, tipping my head back to look into my eyes. His darken in response to me. "What's the matter, Abby? What's going on?"

"Why am I here?" I blurt out, not thinking. Taylor cocks his head at me questioningly. "I mean, you could have anyone. Why me? I mean…" I am aware I am babbling, but I just can't help myself. "I just don't know why anyone like you would want me. I am nothing—" I break off as I take in the anger written across Taylor's face.

"What the hell do you mean, you are nothing?" Taylor has moved so that we are standing apart, yet his hands are gripping the tops of my arms in an almost-painful embrace. 

My voice drops to a whisper as I try to force out the words. "Well, look at you. You are gorgeous, you have built your own company from scratch, you do awesome things like sail boats and travel the world, you live in these amazing homes, and you are caring and kind…" I drift off, unsure of what to say next, aware that I am teetering on the edge of more damn tears.

Taylor is still staring into my eyes, and I can't take the intensity in his gaze, so I try to take a step backwards, but I am pinned by his arms. "You. Are. Not. Nothing," Taylor says through gritted teeth before he swings down, picks me up and pops me over his shoulder as though I weigh nothing at all. 

"Taylor, put me down," I plead as he takes me back upstairs. I am confused when he heads into the bathroom and then stands me back on my feet in front of the large mirror. I take in my dishevelled appearance and the fact that I am only wearing Taylor's robe, and my eyes immediately drop to the floor in embarrassment.

"Abby…look in the mirror." The tone in Taylor's voice brooks no argument, and I draw my eyes back to his in the mirror's reflection. "You are not nothing." Taylor repeats his statement, and I draw a deep breath in, ready to argue with him. "Don't say anything, Abby. It is my time to talk." I pout slightly but keep quiet whilst trying to figure out what is going on.

"Here's what I see, Abs…I see a beautiful, intelligent woman." I open my mouth to argue but immediately shut it again when I see the look that crosses Taylor's face. "I see a woman who I haven't been able to stop thinking about since she walked into my office building. I see flame-red hair and a passionate, fiery temperament to match. I see captivating green eyes that show up every emotion you feel. I see a killer body with curves that I could spend all day adoring and alabaster skin that responds to my touch." 

Taylor holds onto my shoulders as he stands behind me. I stare at my reflection, trying to rationalise Taylor's view of me versus how I see myself. The person he is talking about seems like a stranger, not the person standing in front of me. I can't look at myself any longer and drop my gaze to the floor.

"Don't do that," Taylor murmurs into my ear while he cups my chin and gently forces my head upwards so that once again I am staring at my reflection.

"I just don't see what you do…" My voice is barely above a whisper. Holding my chin up, Taylor starts trailing kisses along my jawbone and down my neck, never breaking eye contact. His hands go to the tie of my robe, releasing it and then slipping it off my shoulders, and all the while I stand there mutely. I watch as his hands move across my breasts, and my nipples stand to attention. My breath quickens as I see his hand trail further down and reach between my legs to cup my sex. The kisses never stop, but Taylor's eyes never leave mine in the mirror, taking in every minute reaction. His finger slips into my wet folds, and I close my eyes and moan at the sensations starting to coil in my belly.

"Open your eyes, Abby." Taylor's command startles me, and my eyes flick open. The woman staring back at me is all at once a familiar sight but a stranger too. Her neck and face are flushed with arousal. Her breasts are swollen and sensitive to the lightest touch. Her hips are grinding onto Taylor's hand, trying to satisfy the need growing deep inside. Her eyes are hooded and knowing. I suddenly get a glimpse of what Taylor sees, and when he sees the realisation dawn, Taylor stills and whispers, "You are beautiful, Abigail."

His words and the flick of his finger are all it takes for me to come, and I can't keep my eyes open any longer as the intense sensations overwhelm me. I come back to see myself still standing with Taylor's arms holding me up. "You are so fucking hot, Abby. Seeing you like this…Just look at what you do to me." I look down and for the first time really take in the enormity of his cock. I gulp, and seeing this, Taylor offers up a smirk. "This is all for you, baby." I am instantly wet again. Taylor reaches into a drawer and quickly sheathes himself before pushing me forward slightly so that he can enter me. Never breaking eye contact, Taylor slides into me and once again I feel like I am whole. 

Slowly Taylor starts rotating his hips, and I grip the countertop, pushing back onto him. I can feel my orgasm building, and from the look on Taylor's face, I don't think he is far behind me. He grips my hips and grinds into me, the pace increasing until he is well and truly fucking me. The image I am seeing in the mirror is beyond anything I could ever imagine and is intensely erotic. "Come for me, baby." This time it takes every effort to keep my eyes open whilst I explode so that I can watch Taylor come apart inside of me.

It could be seconds or minutes or hours that pass, but Taylor and I continue to stand there, joined, staring at each other whilst we catch our breath. Very slowly and gently Taylor withdraws, all the while keeping one arm around my waist to support me. "Um…wow." These are the only words I can find to describe how I am feeling at this point.

Taking my hand, Taylor guides me back to bed and pulls the covers over us as he spoons me, both arms cradling me gently. At this moment I feel like Taylor's most precious possession, and it scares me. This feeling of being cherished is something so alien to me that I can't believe it is going to last. 

"Abby!" Taylor's warning tone brings me back, and I roll over to look at Taylor face-to-face. "I know when you are thinking all that crap in your head, you know."

I gulp. "Sorry, Taylor. It's just that this all seems too good to be true. I don't know how to handle a guy being nice to me." Something about the way he is looking at me makes me feel like I need to explain further. "I mean, I don't have much experience, but the whole two times I had sex before this, the aftermath was, let's just say…um…horrible. And it's not like I have even been in a relationship with a guy." I can't read the expression in Taylor's eyes, so I carry on babbling.

"The guy I lost my virginity to, well, it turned out to be a dare at school. I thought he liked me. I was a loser, and all of a sudden the captain of the football team is being nice to me, complimenting me and then asking me out to the party of the year. So he plied me with beer, and before I know it we are in one of the bedrooms, having sex. He was very sweet about it at the time and it was nice, but when I went to school on the Monday, everyone was talking about how the team had dared him to 'deflower' a virgin. I was so embarrassed, and when I next saw him, he completely snubbed me. Let's just say going to uni was a relief."

I see Taylor's fists gripping the sheets, but he doesn't say anything, so I continue. "Then in my second year at uni, I met this guy at a party. We struck up a conversation and seemed to click. The next thing I remember is him climbing off me and looking down at me with disgust before he walked away." I can feel the anger radiating off Taylor, and I turn my head away to hide the tears and avoid the repugnance he must be feeling for me.

"Dammit, Abby, look at me." Taylor's voice is hoarse, and I force myself to meet his eyes. "I could kill those fuckers. You listen to me, Abigail James. That guy at school was an immature dick, and the one at uni was a… a rapist, for fuck's sake! You cannot judge yourself through their eyes."

My eyes well up at Taylor's words. His hands gently stroke my face and hair. "You are a beautiful person, inside and out, Abby. You define your own worth. Don't ever let anyone try to do that for you."

"I'll try," I whisper before placing a gentle kiss on Taylor's lips. Gathering me in to his chest so that my head fits snugly under his chin, Taylor strokes my back until I fall into a deep sleep.

~*~

The rumbling of my stomach wakes me, and I find myself alone in the bed. I nip to the bathroom to clean myself up and find my robe. I take note of my swollen lips and dishevelled hair in the mirror and offer up a smile. My body is achy having used muscles this weekend that I didn't even know existed, and I feel a little sore between my legs from all the action it has seen.

I pad downstairs and spot Taylor in the kitchen, chopping up vegetables. "What time is it?" I ask quietly, as I hop onto a stool at the counter. Taylor looks up, and a smile crosses his face. "Just before one, sleepyhead." Wow, I seem to have slept the whole morning away.

"I have a roast in the oven, so I thought we would eat and then head back up to London, if that's okay with you?"

"Of course, whatever suits you," I reply, feeling a little sad that our time together is coming to an end.

"Sorry, I have some work I need to do before a meeting tomorrow. I would have loved to have stayed longer." I suddenly feel bad for having monopolised his time. "Why don't you head up and take a bath? You have about forty-five minutes before lunch is ready. You must be a little 'worn out'." The last bit Taylor says with a wicked grin across his face.

I take him up on his offer and ten minutes later find myself lying back, relaxing in the large egg-shaped bath, with bubbles up to my neck. Half of me is rather hoping that Taylor will join me, but the other half is revelling in the silence and having some time to reflect. My feelings for Taylor are complicated. He fills me with a need that scares me because what if he goes away? What will I be left with? But he also makes me feel cherished, and this alone makes my body hum. I know I am teetering on the edge of the cliff, ready to fall in love, but I am really scared to take that final step.

I'm interrupted from my musings when Taylor sticks his head around the door. "I thought you had turned into a mermaid," Taylor jokes.

"Ha ha," I say as I flick some bubbles in his direction.

"Lunch in ten, just wanted to give you the heads-up." Taylor comes over and gives me a teasing kiss and then backs out the door, leaving me to finish up and pull some clothes on before heading down the stairs.

I am greeted by the most tantalising aromas, and my grumbling stomach reminds me that I haven't eaten since lunchtime the previous day. I notice that the table has been set and Taylor is just placing the dishes up on the table. I grab some plates off the side, and we both take our seats, dishing up tender pieces of lamb, crunchy roast potatoes, sticky honey-glazed carrots and crunchy beans. 

"Mmm. This is delicious," I say appreciatively, having taken a mouthful. We both dig in and eat in companionable silence, listening to the music playing softly in the background. When the plates are clear and every last bit of gravy mopped up, I put my hand over Taylor's and offer up a shy smile. "Thank you, Taylor. This weekend has been"—I search around for the most appropriate word—"incredible."

"You are most welcome, Abs. I have enjoyed every minute of it." Taylor reaches across and pulls me into his lap before kissing me intensely on the lips. My arms wind around his neck, and I push my fingers through his silky hair. Breaking the kiss, Taylors leans his forehead against mine, breathing heavily. "You are going to be the death of me, baby," says Taylor, his voice husky with desire. Placing a kiss on the tip of my nose, Taylor gently tips me off his lap onto my feet.

As we start clearing up, my favourite song by Hoobastank comes on, and I find myself singing along softly. Abruptly Taylor turns the music up, a grin spreading on his face, and I find myself dancing along as I put the dishes in the dishwasher. This moment of frivolity in what has been a rather intensely emotional weekend brings me back to myself and the fact that I am only twenty-one years old and really need to stop overthinking everything. Time flies and it is not long before we are packed up and heading back up the motorway towards London.

When at last Taylor pulls up outside my flat, the car seems to fill with electricity. He leans over and kisses me thoroughly, the pad of his thumb stroking my cheek. "I wish I didn't have to leave you, but I have to get this stuff done." A look of regret fills his face.

"Me too," I say softly. "But you have an entire empire to run, so you best be off, then," I add jokingly, trying to defuse the tension that is slowly building. Taylor chuckles and then releases me after placing a light kiss on my nose.

Taylor waits until I am inside before driving off, and I walk up the stairs with a spring in my step. I am antsy at the thought of a whole evening by myself, but I decide that I will do what I do best when I need to distract myself…bake. Remembering that Taylor mentioned in the coffee shop that lemon was his favourite flavour, I decide on a lemon drizzle cake that is complicated enough to take me the whole evening to make.

When at last I fall into bed, it is with a happy smile on my face and a feeling of peace in my heart. My mind replays Taylor's lips on mine, the feel of his skin, his fingers running across my breasts until, at last, I fall asleep.