The Hall of Reflections

My master knows just how far to push me until I break. It's a pattern. I give in, I let go. She tells me to try again and again and again, right before her consistent nature withdraws. That's when I realize how much of a pushover I am, either that or she's become a tyrant in the past month of our acquaintance.

The Hall of Reflections is filled with a spine-tingling tension that pulls taut between us. My divine companion is allowed to be with me this time, not that it makes much difference to my morale as Agmito still hasn't arrived yet. When he finally does come, perhaps I'll find myself less disturbed by the difficulty of this configuration.

I've been learning the Second Level Rapture Position all morning but have been met with no measure of success. The recitation in particular that Totoya wants me to learn is 'Dracoska Belea-rusha'. It means Dragon Breath.

My master's eyes are critical when I get tongue-tied for the twelfth time in front of her. This is obviously a human error, but things are not as simple as they seem. The Hall of Reflections just might be a bigger obstacle than the Hall of Deep Focus.

There is a trick to this hall. Rushing Water Temple, more or less, comes with a variety of hidden installations that are meant to impart wise and meaningful life lessons within each building - and this unique place for restoration presents itself in a way that I've yet to untangle. It's not just a mental challenge. I'm literally facing the embodiment of my physical reflection, an eerie doppelganger that swam out of the depths of a giant, pool of frosted liquid in the Hall of Reflections.

She is me.

Or a clay version of me that the hall has conjured, according to Master Totoya.

Both of my pointer fingers are crossed together in the X position. They begin at the center of my chest and I slide them upward with intention, resting the back of my palms against my forehead. My hand formation is now against my third eye and I push it outward for the Second Level Rapture Position, fully extending my arms straight. Before I collapse the X, I add my middle and index fingers of each hand into the formation, and shove them downward as I grit the recitation.

"Dracoska Belea-rusha!" My fingers are sweaty from previous failed attempts.

The Belsifear copy is exactly like me, her physical attributes uncanny in a way that I first found unsettling. Her eyes are a cocoa brown like mine, but dull in a way that shows the absence of true cognizance. Even her clothes are made to mirror the ones I'm currently wearing right now.

When she goes to mimic my gestures, I roll my eyes. This is it, I guess. She's always more successful than I am at this part...

Here we go, the critical thing I always get wrong and that she happens to get right is her ability to somehow perform the configuration. How is it that my doppelganger is able to kick my butt with a newly learned form of magic when she's only been alive for a few hours?!

The Hall of Reflections is lit up by a huge, dragon-like beast of fire. A circle of ancient markings appear beneath the fake Belsifear, and from those markings the creature is leashed to the configuration, constantly releasing a string of dragon breath throughout the room.

I have no choice but to let my divine companion shield me from the blow of the fiery heat. Advisca, sensing the danger and the potential of an adversary, growls in a way that I've never heard before. He's been doing it all morning.

The electric shield that he projects around me sizzles against the flames of my doppelganger's Dragon Breath magic.

This has been going on for quite a while. Damn. I wish I was at her level... My mind rationalizes that I am her, technically; but for some reason, no matter what I do, I can't seem to nail this configuration. So in a way, I feel like we're separate entities and she's obviously the perfected one of us.

I glance at my master, who is sitting at a stone table nearby and pouring herself a glass of water. She looks nonplussed by my sour expression and waves at me, completely at ease despite being able to pick up on my nerves.

Yes. The line between being a venerable master and tyrant is danced over by Totoya constantly, her fluid nature impossible to predict. The mountain-sized headaches that I've experienced from not knowing her motivations per hour are just the tip of the iceberg, and having to appease whatever instructor I have at the time isn't the easiest thing either. No, that's not true... I'm just not used to hard work - at least, that's what I reason to myself as I go back to staring at my real-life projection, the girl who was made in my image and is now casting magic to outdo me in front of my master.

'What are we going to do, Advisca? I can't let this ninny go on and steal my master from me.' I grumble.

Advisca sighs internally. I'm sitting cross-legged within his shield and his graceful, sleek body is more or less plonked around my smaller one, almost coiled decoratively like a snake seeking heat. His tail swerves manically as he watches the dragon of fire continue to wreak havoc on the hall, those assessing eyes of his blinking slow and bored-like, but then once I go to stand up, he attains an ounce of wit.

We truly do make the perfect pair. 'Master, you are the original version of this ninny. If she has managed to cast the configuration, then I suppose that is accomplishment that you can also notch onto your belt. A ninny you are not, may I say.' My divine companion tries to flatter me, but I guffaw, not the least bit charmed.

'I am not going to be outdone by my shadow. This is the perfect time to wipe my shoe on this piece of dirt.'

'Master, where did this aggression come from? Remember what I said about the Vile?'

The strange glee that I feel has emerged from somewhere deep inside. Is it sinister? Probably not. I can't really tell at this point. All of my emotions right now look the same and I'm beginning to be frustrated at my lack of introspection. The time for that isn't now, however. Magic, magic, magic. Learning is first, mastery is key, exhaustion will see me through. My thoughts are literally echoing my sentiments and are the only thing keeping me standing right now.

With a pitiful grin, I forget to keep my conversation in my head. My internal voice filters out of me and I end up speaking in a rush, "I haven't slept. I haven't eaten. My own reflection is making fun of me. Who can say what's wrong with me now? I mean, look at the facts. The gods themselves are obviously laughing at me. But you know what? The joke is on them! I will make them taste defeat when I am older!"

Totoya's hazel eyes swing toward me. The doppelganger darts toward me and her hands direct the dragon in my direction. Advisca advises caution in our bond like the worrywart that he is, and he thinks it so loud and clear that I can't help but wince with my hands over my nose bridge. And as the overzealous trailblazer that I long to be, I practically do the opposite of what logic dictates.

Emboldened by a frenzy of adrenaline, I go through the motions of the Second Level Rapture Position and this time I step outside of Advisca's protective shield.

'Master, no!' My Thrinskar's teeth sink into the fabric of my shirt, pulling me back.

I'm still not done. I have to finish the formation!

How can I still get it wrong after all this time of repetition? I struggle to complete the configuration as my divine companion forcibly tries to yank me toward safety. I feel scorching heat and smell crackling flames. I'm blinded by terrible, white light and look up at the snarling, glowing nostrils of the dragon beast. It's about to consume me.

Hang on. I have ten seconds. I still haven't worked out how to cast Dragon Breath, but I can perform the Fezenska Technique.

Confidence overrides me when I realize that not only am I not alone, but I know the configuration for Aterra Fezenska.

'Master, it's not worth coughing up a lung.' Advisca points out.

I block him out and draw all my spiritual energy into my chest. The magic in me is abuzz with a freakish sort of awareness as I go into the Second Level Rapture Position, but instead of speaking the recitation for Dragon Breath, I cast with Aterra Fezenska; and to say that I've put a slightly clueless look on the 'fake' Belsifear's face is indeed an understatement.

"Aterra Fezenska!"

The punch of pain into my heart is instant; but I've already moved on from it, knowing that the result of my magic is worth the compromise.

Speaking with 'intention' during a configuration is to have some foreseeable goal or purpose. What is my intention right now? Specifically, I want to stop that creature in it's tracks, and prevent that doppelganger from dealing another blow to my ego. It's petty, but that seems to be the theme in my life right now.

I'm starting to see why the gods dropped me here.

My doppelganger's magic is useless against time. Everything is - or at least, I've yet to learn differently. As a construct of magic, Totoya has made it so that the fake Belsifear isn't affected, that way she can observe what is going on. I frown at this explanation, but nonetheless await the rest of her verdict on my retaliation. It feels like I'm in the middle of a trial, to be honest, especially when my master gets up, her flowing, white robe pouring behind her figure like a snowcapped waterfall.

Graceful as ever, she comes over to me and observes my stance in a quiet manner, attentive of my lowered head and hands clasped behind my lower back. She touches the corner of my mouth with a slim finger.

"How much pain do you feel?" She asks.

I clutch my chest. It's not unbearable. I shrug. "M-master? Why do you ask?"

"You worked out that you can swap Rapture Positions and use them with different recitations. I was going to tell you after you mastered Dragon Breath. I'm impressed. Do you know why? Dracoska Belea-rusha, when performed in the First Level Rapture Position is a powerful configuration on its own, but the Second Level Rapture Position is, of course, the expansion of spiritual energy and magic, therefore everything is amplified. It will be far more abrasive to mortals standing around. By the way, the Dedjurian translation that you've learnt is a menace for any Sage to wrap their head around, it's not just you. Palloxe Vienarti obviously crafted this configuration to be in the Forgotten Tongue, but I don't want you to explode right away, so we're starting off in Dedjurian..."

"Excuse me? What did you just say about exploding?!"

"I really wanted you to learn the Second Level Rapture Position, because knowing another recitation is something you can learn anywhere and anytime."

Is she really not going to address the part about me exploding? I sigh and run my hand through my hair. Fine. I can be rational and move on. To prove it, I change the subject, "But my reflection seems to be better than me at casting. Why is that?"

"It's the magic of the hall, Belsifear. The water from the reflection pool is liquified quartz, and when devotees eat in this hall, they are faced with their own selves. Literally. They must interact with beings that, for all intents and purposes, portray the ideal versions of themselves. Some priests find closure from this arrangement; some don't and find this tactic of introspection to be invasive. After all, who would want to look beyond the physical to see what jarring insecurities lie beyond the skin? Having a conversation with oneself is never easy, especially when there is self-hatred involved. Do you agree?"

I scoff, "What can I possibly add to the conversation that hasn't been added before me, master? I am not a native of this world. My opinion is irrelevant anyway, I would think."

"You can't think like that. You're a Demi-Urgaen now. You're welcome to stay here indefinitely, but I imagine that one day, you'll go out and explore beyond the boundaries of this humble monastery. My teachings won't be for nothing. You'll be my successor. The heir of the Thunder Cloud clan." Her throat dips as she rubs my shoulder in a strangely comforting way.

What exactly does she mean by that? I thought she said that Palloxe Vienarti was the last of the Thunder Cloud clan. Does that mean that she was inducted at some point in her life and therefore she plans to do the same to me?

My hands, still in the Second Level Rapture Position, begin to shake. This is not the best form to have a serious conversation.

"Master. My reflection needs to stop the configuration, or else my Thrinskar and I are going to end up looking... well, not so cute in a minute." I tell her.

She steps back, dropping the vulnerable tone instantly. Eyes turning fierce, she goes into lecture mode, the full force of her attention hurtling away from me in a heartbeat, disappointment stabbing me beneath the ribs.

"She won't stop until you master the Second Level Rapture Position. I've told you this before. You'll be adhering to Vienarti's strict methods of training. The Sages before you could not do it so easily. As a Demi-Urgaen, you'll have to work twice as hard to summon the energy and maintain your focus, but you are capable. No, I intend to make you capable. The time we have left together is short..."

Her rambling is less coherent by this stage, but I've gotten the gist of it. Totoya wants to train me for something important. She thinks that I'm capable. I want to be flattered, but I'm too drained for it to really make an impact. Last night's drill sessions have me on the verge of curling up into a little ball and crying.

I grit my teeth as fresh blood floods my mouth.

'Master, what are you going to do?' Advisca prowls around me in circles.

He's restless. The visions in his head range from tearing out my master's eyes to chewing on my doppelganger's neck like it's a piece of sirloin steak. None of those visuals make me feel too good.

'I have no choice but to do what my master wants.' I reply, apprehension heavy in my bones like lead.

There's only one way to stop my reflection from harming us. There's only one way to get out of this training drill. I have to master the Second Level Rapture Position. It's going to hurt me and probably my divine companion, but what choice do I have?

Advisca feels my resolve and stubbornness. His disapproval leaks back through the bond and at this point, we're infecting each other with our emotions, trying to influence the other. It's a childish game, but one we play well. He's not the only one who can be persistent when the time calls for it.

'I should drag you away from this ruin of a temple right now, Master Belsifear! You don't need to learn any more Rapture Positions. Once you've conquered one, you've conquered them all.' He moans to me. His response is even accompanied by an intimidating glare.

I blow out a breath, preparing myself to release my hands from their position. I need to be ready to repeat the formations in an extremely swift manner while reciting in Dedjurian. I also need to stay focused; our lives are at stake.

Licking my dry lips, I give him a wry glance as I mutter churlishly in his direction, "Be seen and not heard... Are you familiar with this concept? You should get used to it. Now be quiet while I concentrate. I'm not trying to get roasted by my reflection."

His wry inner voice barks back, 'I must protect my master. Master is too quick to act sometimes.'

'And you are too slow when it comes to making decisions. We balance each other out. We make a great pair!'

The moment of truth. I avoid looking in my Thrinskar's direction and drop the Second Level Rapture Position, only to recreate it with startling speed, pushing spiritual energy and intention into it as I go.

My divine companion roars. He knocks me out of the way just as the ten-feet tall contraption of sizzling death opens its mouth to devour me. I'm shoved into a side table where I hit a bunch of trays and steaming dishes, the sound of shattered glassware popping around my head.

The world spins as I recover. My back burns. Smoke drifts around me and I feel like something... is deeply wrong inside of my chest. I rub the area with an increased sense of urgency, the feeling of a damaged thread piercing through my haziness, and instantly I think of Advisca.

'Advisca?' I stumble to my feet.

A pile of white mass is stretched out to the side of the stone table. A long, red streak of blood runs down my Thrinskar's midsection. The smell of his cooked ribs is... I gag and cover my mouth as I drop to my knees next to him.

'Master... I must protect my master...' His voice is soft and calm.

Tears track down my cheeks. I can't find the words to describe how I feel. I look over my shoulder at my master. How did this happen? I don't even know what went wrong. I thought...

The clay version of myself, my horrid reflection, is incapable of knowing the consequences of her actions. She tilts her head, and draws the beast of fire back toward herself. It goes to stand at her back, its terrible job completed. It is shackled to the ancient markings of the configuration. Together, they make a formidable pair.

A trickle of darkness fills my soul. I recognize it immediately. It is the Vile. "Master. Tell me... what is the translated recitation for Dragon Breath in the Forgotten Tongue?" I empty my voice of emotions.

She must sense the intention behind my voice. "Darakussa Breznati."

My Thrinskar is lying hurt in front of me and I'm to blame. Both parts of me, my reflection and my real self are to blame. I want justice. How do I punish both parts of my self equally? The Hall of Reflections is truly a grueling place to learn magic. I can't believe this place exists in the Rushing Water Temple. Astonishment and disgust over my past actions battle for dominance within my mind, a raging storm that eats away at my soul.

I stay at my divine companion's side, stroking his body, my hand quivering as I take in his wound with the barely restrained desire to leap up and begin the configuration all over again.

My master already warned me that I would explode. But without my Thrinskar, I am nothing. He has been by my side since the day I stepped out of the First Chamber of Worship. I consider the day I met Advisca as the day of my official rebirth.

Not the day that I woke up, not the day that I realized I was forced into another body.

He means everything to me. I need him.

Spiritual energy fills me, suffuses every limb from head to toe. I straighten my back and set aside my grievance to brush aside my animosity for my reflection, instigating another configuration, but this time I'm stoic about it all. No expression.

My eyes are levelled at the clay figure standing on the other side of the Hall of Reflections. She's watching me, no thought behind those eyes, her dragon of fire leaping overhead to defend against my incoming attack.

I don't let this display of power faze me this time. My voice echoes with deep, cutting intention this time. "Darakussa Breznati!"

Crack...

My lower ribs actually crack. Some of my fingers have been twisted at unnatural angles, as though I've been thrown off a cliff. The price of magic is truly not something to envy. I can't help the insidious smirk that grows - I've survived something so painful, something that other Sages wouldn't have the nerve to survive in one piece. I may not have exploded from this configuration, but now my body will hate me for it.

A similar circle of ancient, glowing symbols manifests around me and Advisca. They're a dazzling green color, exactly the same tone as his mane. It must represent our bond and I'm glad that we're still connected on some level.

I don't look up when a twin dragon of fire bursts into existence above me, his tail tethered to one of the symbols in the circle. Without a command, it moves like a fired arrow in the direction of the fake Belsifear, but her fiery protector moves in the way and intercepts it.

They clash, giant paws and teeth moving at one another, trying to gain the upper hand. It is by far a brilliant sight to behold, but I can't appreciate the sight for I am exceedingly close to lying down with my Thrinskar and letting the world drift away.

My master approaches me with a look of satisfaction. As always, she appears to have something to say. She shakes her head, red lips almost rueful, "You always have to do things your way, don't you?"

I give up the fight. I collapse and fall onto my divine companion. My eyes drift shut. The sound of two infernal beasts fighting in the hall continue on until I fade into a sleep.