[40]

Izzy and I work in tandem together, slaughtering demon after demon giving me flashbacks to Lagertha and I fighting together, making a stray tear run down my cheek even as I smile when Izzy and press our back to each other as more and more Shax demons come out of a hole in the floor of the warehouse.

The last Shax demon explodes into ash and embers, both I and Izzy turn around to face each other and I find myself dropping the seraph blade cupping Izzy's cheek in my hand.

Izzy tries to pull me into a kiss but I pull away as a mental image flashes by in my mind, of my hands around Izzy's throat, strangling the life out of her until her head pops off, 'No!' I shout in my mind, and throw myself away from Izzy and into a wall of the warehouse.

I feel myself start to dry heave as I lean against one of the iron supports, 'I thought the effects of the curse were over.' I curse in my mind and realize beyond that one image my mind didn't play any other tricks on me.

"I guess…I'm just afraid…to hurt her…" I mutter softly in a sigh as I stand up from the ground.

~ — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ~

'Is there something wrong with me?' I ask myself internally as I brush a few fingers over my tingling cheek…the ghost of his touch like a current of lightning running through me but in the best way.

'No…the way he looked at me, I know he definitely feels what I do…but he's…he's afraid of something.' I whisper in my head as I feel like going after Vidar but seeing that he's still here and that I have to call in and report this nest...I don't go over to him.

I grab out my communication crystal, "Hey Izzy, what's up?" Jace's voice comes through the crystal, his usual carefree and playful tone gone.

"Found a Shax's nest looks like they had a nest in a sealed basement of a warehouse in the old industrial sector." I reply to Jace who is quiet for a few seconds.

"Alec and I are on the way, don't engage until we get there." Jace replies to me and I roll my eyes.

"The soldiers of the nest are exterminated, but we still need to do a thorough inspection of the nest and rescue any rescuable Mundees and put down…any that are not." I reply to Jace into the communication crystal, wishing that Vidar was still here especially if there's a Shax queen down there.

"Izzy…how many Shax demons were there in the assault force and do you need a healer?" Alec's voice comes through the crystal and I find myself scowling, "I didn't count Alec but there were at least a couple hundred…and no I don't need a healer." I reply to Alec receiving silence.

"We'll be there in 5." Jace says and I roll my eyes…at the protectiveness in his voice.

~ — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — ~

'Fuck!' I curse in my mind as I blur back over to Izzy but don't meet her eyes.

'I need to put distance between us…' I regretfully mutter in my mind, as I come to a stop in front of Izzy.

"My brothers are on their way to help inspect the real hive and take out the Queen…with their numbers this high there is definitely a Queen down there." I nod to Izzy and pick up the seraph blade that I dropped before and jump into the hole most of the demons came out of.

"'Vidar!" I hear Izzy shout and then hear her feet land against the ground behind me.

"You should leave Jace and Alec, are on their way here…and we don't know how many Shax demons or if something worse is down here." Izzy says to me in worry but I brush her off as I look around the basement which looks like some sort of a Xenomorph hive, with Shax demons skittering throughout black organic ribbed structures.

"They said 5, I can kill whatevers down here and be gone by then…you should go wait for them." I reply to Izzy a bit cooly and feel guilty for it, as I pull my Katana off my back dual wielding two swords looking like white haired Kirito.

"I'm not leaving you alone down here just because you want to be stubborn." Izzy scoffs as she turns her whip into a staff, and proceeds to run a Shax demon through with it.

"I'm not stubborn." I bark back for some reason that eludes me.

"Are you mad at me because I leaned in to kiss you?" Izzy asks from behind me her voice filled with complicated emotions as we slew Shax demons as we traversed the real nest.

"No…I'm afraid of what I might do to you." I confess honesty to Izzy and hear her come up short in surprise… "You fell asleep for it but the reason why Lagertha is gone is because I drove the stake into her heart that killed her." I say and find that for the first time I say the words aloud without choking on them.

"That…hurt…but I knew I'd be able to get over it…what came after was different…I was under the effects of a curse for 50 years or so…the first couple of months…well I was locked inside my mind living out killing everyone I've ever remotely loved." 'Even the ones not of this second life.' I mentally tack on, as I speak to Izzy and kill a dozen Shax Demon by throwing my Katana forward while keeping a grip on the chain making it rerun my hand.

"That's…that's awful…" Izzy whispers and I feel her hand press against my back.

"No…what's awful is what happened after I woke up…Isabelle…I spent those fifty years destroying countless cities, villages, towns…I slaughtered everyone women, children, men the family pets, the livestock, nothing was spared in my rampage, sure I might have been reacting to the haunting images and whispers of Lagertha and others egging me on…I meant what I said the other night Miss Lightwood I am a monster." I continue talking to Izzy who's hand only left my back to kill a demon.

"You're not a monster, you were under the effects of a curse." Izzy says to me in comfort though I can hear the uncertainty in her voice and her fear in her scent.

"Oh, I am though even before turning I committed monstrous acts…after Henrik was killed by one of the neighboring villages that's population was composed of werewolves, I went with a force of a 100 warriors and slaughtered every single villager the female that killed Henrik and almost killed Garmr, was in labor, the baby came out and I used it and the umbilical cord to strangle her…you should stay away from me Miss Lightwood before I strangle the life out of you either on purpose or by accident." I say to Izzy and feel like a dagger was twisting in my heart as I do so.