More doubts

Alanis. 

"I am suffocating Eligio,'' I shout into the pillow.

He laughs because as usual, this is funny to him. I don't understand why he can't just understand how I feel right now. I am slowly dying keeping all this inside me.

Beau is too excited to talk to. He still doesn't know but he feels like he knows. I don't know what Alby has told him but it must be along the lines of the babies. The one thing I am trying to keep from him. I hate this so much. I hate that I have to hide this from him. Hide the way I feel.

He wouldn't be happy with me if he finds out and I know this is something he will eventually find out. When we talked about it. I didn't think too much, I thought it would take years before it finally happened but it has just been a couple of months. I just got with him and I didn't even have time to adjust to being with a wolf. Now I have to accept bearing his kids.

Fuck.