Family's Struggle between Love and Shame

"God, I will not let anything happen to Amma, I will protect her at any cost." Rana's mouth could be seen mumbling the heavy pain in his heart unconsciously forced out from the corner of his mind. But a voice kept warning him from within, "you will not intervene, Rana. This is a matter for the family to handle. Ammi must answer for her actions, and she must find the man responsible." "No, she's my best friend, she's like a sister to me. I cannot stand by and watch her suffer."

Rana realized he couldn't let her face this alone. He had to find a way to help Ammi, even if it meant going against the wishes of her family. With determination in his heart, he resolved to do whatever it took to support his friend to protect her from harm. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he was willing to risk everything for her. It was obvious she meant so much to him.

As the sun began to set, casting a warm hue over the sky, Rana returned home, feeling deeply disheartened and overwhelmed by a sense of defeat. Uncertain and lost, he pushed, opened the door to his room, the abrupt sound resonating through the desolate space. With a heavy heart, he collapsed onto his bed, too weary to even remove his shoes, sinking into the softness of the mattress, released a weary sigh, his gaze fixed upon the ceiling. His eyes, normally brimming with confidence, now mirrored his immense frustration, profound disappointment, and a trace of desperation, as if pleading for guidance amidst the cracks and flaws above him.

Then, bamm bamm bamm! A faint sonorant sound reverberated through Rana's weary mind. In a daze, he managed to respond with a deep subdued "Yes," his voice lacking its usual enthusiasm. Unfailingly, it was Ammi at the door once again, seeking solace and guidance in her familiar routine.

She persisted with her knocks, each one growing louder until Rana finally registered their presence. "Oh, Ammi, I apologize. I... I didn't hear you!" He stuttered, realizing she must have been waiting for quite some time. But before he could finish his sentence, Ammi interrupted him, her anger simmering beneath her words, "No, I can understand. It's fine." Deep down, though, Rana understood that her curt response masked a deeper frustration.

"You've come. How is your father? And how..."Rana's thoughts trailed off, uncertain of how to navigate the conversation. His anxiety mingled with his longing to connect with Ammi, but he couldn't find the right words.

Sensing his uncertainty, Ammi snapped back, "Never mind!" Her words carried an undercurrent of bitterness. It was evident that she desired Rana's undivided attention, yet she expressed her frustration towards him in a way that seemed disproportionate and unwarranted.

Ammi tried to compose herself, but the fear and desperation that gripped her heart seemed too overwhelming. The darkness that had enveloped her life only grew denser, leaving her feeling trapped and unsure of where to turn or who to trust. Her once vibrant spirit, now dimmed by the weight of her burdens, struggled to find even a glimmer of hope. She longed for the comforting presence of Rana who had always been her steadfast support, but she hesitated, afraid to burden him further with her pain.

Ammi's paranoia continued to widen the chasm between them, she found herself feeling increasingly isolated, unsure whether she could truly rely on Rana or if she was better off confronting her turmoil alone. The mix of emotions that swirled within her left her feeling exposed, as though she was trapped in a storm with no shelter in sight.

Rana, who was always attuned to his mother's emotional state, suddenly remembered that today was the 31st of December, a day that held a particularly bitter significance for his mother's life due to his father's demise. He knew that this day was never easy for his mother, Awa. He felt a renewed sense of urgency to be by her side, so he schemed a way to accompany Ammi home. Yet, his attempt unintentionally fueled a sense of avoidance, casting a shadow over Ammi's already heavy heart. It seemed her sense of emotional turmoil clouded her brain.

Undeterred, Rana hurriedly followed her, navigating the delicate balance between the giving space and offering support. Gently, he sought to soothe Ammi's frayed nerves, providing relief from the emotional tempest that engulfed her. As Rana struggled to find words, Ammi, immersed in her own emotions, interrupted him with a resigned tone, "Never mind, I can understand!" She extended her hand towards the door, which creaked open slowly. Without a backward glance, she started to leave, seemingly oblivious to Rana's attempts to share his concerns. Her eyes, clouded with tears, faced the darkness that enveloped her surroundings outside.

The winter wind bit at them as they trudged forward, mirroring the coldness of Ammi's inner turmoil. Yet, Rana's steadfast presence served as a comforting anchor, silently assuring her that she was not alone in facing the storm. Their footsteps crunched on the cold air path as they made their way back to Ammi's father's house.

Rana's quiet words and reassuring hand on her back seemed to momentarily ease Ammi's fears and doubts. The howling wind seemed to fade into the background, as if Rana's support formed a protective shield against the harsh elements. But as they reached the door of the house, the sight of the compound brought an overwhelming rush of memories and emotions flooding back to Ammi. The weight of her father's threats bore down on her, casting a shadow over the brief respite she had felt.

Rana's gesture of bidding her a good night offered a glimmer of hope, but the fear and uncertainty were never far from her mind.

Rana rushed back home to check on his mother, Awa, a melancholic ten-year-old widow who lost her beloved husband during a harrowing civil crisis on the first day of January, while he was dutifully performing his responsibilities as a policeman. The day that should have been filled with joy and celebration, the day meant to mark the beginning of another year, a fresh start or a turning point, was marred by darkness as the new year dawned. The previous night, the New Year's Eve was spent in fervent prayers, hopeful prophecies, and a longing for a brighter future, only for these hopes to be viciously dashed by the heart-shattering news of her husband's death. This tragedy was etched into her broken heart, and Awa despised the first day of every year that followed.

As the clock struck midnight on each New Year's Eve, Awa could not help but feel a deep sense of void and foreboding, as though the weight of her husband's untimely demise would forever haunt her. This day, which was also her birthday, only reminded her of her husband's funeral dirge in Hausa language.

"Sai wata rana,

Sai wata rana,

Baza mu sake gani juna ba!

In mun rabu a duniya,

Zamu hadu a sama.

Baza mu sake gani juna ba!

A song personifying the death, it starts by telling the death "Good bye" and ends with affirmation "we will never see each other again.

This overwhelming grief was only intensified by the treacherous actions of her late husband's oldest brother, who conspired with his father to seize control of his brother's will, showing no regard for the needs or well-being of Awa or her children.

The once vibrant and loving household was now shrouded in a perpetual darkness, as the cold, unforgiving wind of fate seemed to howl through the corridors, carrying with it the bitter taste of betrayal and despair. Awa's once warm and welcoming smile had been replaced by a sorrowful frown as she struggled to pick up the pieces of her shattered life and provide for her children in the face of such overwhelming adversity.

Throughout the year, Awa sang the dirge "Sai Wata Rana," finding solace in the memories of her husband, clinging to the love they shared and the life they had built together. She would often find herself lost in thought, her eyes glazing over as she fondly remembered their happiest moments, a testament to the strength of their love and the dreams they had for their family.

The Family Meeting.

Ammi's father called for a family meeting, a gathering that excluded only Chinda, the fifth child currently undergoing rigorous military training in Nigerian Army Depot (NA Depot). The atmosphere in the room was charged with tension, unspoken apprehension lingering as all eyes turned to the stern- faced patriarch. Ammi and her mother remained conspicuously absent, adhering to the cultural norm that excluded females from such serious family discussions.

As the family assembled, the father initiated the meeting with a somber prayer, his voice carrying the weight of the impending revelation. "I apologize for the impromptu nature of this gathering," he began, his eyes scanning the faces of his sons. "I understand it may have inconvenienced you due to your respective lines of work." Quickly, the four sons chorused in response, "No, Baba, it's fine. Whatever it is, we're here."

The father sighed; a heavy burden evident in his expression. "I appreciate your understanding. The matter at hand is urgent and requires immediate attention. Ammi, your only sister, is almost 4 months pregnant with a fatherless child." A collective gasp swept through the room, and a stunned silence followed. The gravity of the revelation hung in the air, each son grappling with the shock of the news. The father's gaze moved between his sons, observing their reactions as the weight of the situation sank in.

After a prolonged silence, the eldest son, Til, broke the stillness, his voice edged with disbelief. "Baba, are you sure about this? Ammi wouldn't... I mean, how did this happen?" The father nodded solemnly, "I've confirmed it, and we need to address this situation as a family before it spirals out of control. We are in a difficult position, and we must decide on the best course of action for her and for the reputation of our family."

The room became a hub of conflicting emotions – disbelief, anger, and concern. The family meeting had transitioned into an intense discussion about the future and the steps they needed to take to navigate this unexpected crisis.

The meeting stretched into the wee hours of the night, the air inside the dimly lit room growing thick with tension as Baba, Til, and the two brothers delved deeper into the harrowing discussion about Ammi's pregnancy. The flickering light cast long ominous shadows on their faces, mirroring the gravity of the situation unfolding. "Harboring a harlot in my own house?" Baba's voice thundered, anger simmering in his eyes. "I won't allow it to continue!"

Til, ever the mediator, attempted to calm his father down. "Baba, let's not make any hasty decisions. There has to be another way to handle this."

But Baba's anger only intensified, and he abruptly rose from the meeting, the chair scraping against the floor in protest. He stormed into Ammi's room, the door slamming shut behind him, leaving the remaining family members in an unsettling silence.

In Ammi's room, a scene of raw emotion and brutality unfolded. Baba, consumed by rage, dragged Ammi out into the cold night air. The chill of the night bit through her as she stood outside the house vulnerably. Baba's face contorted with fury, hurled accusations and curses at her, the venom in his words cutting through the stillness of the night.

Meanwhile, the brothers, witnesses to their father's unprecedented rage, hesitated to intervene, paralyzed by a mixture of shock and fear.

"No... Noo... Oh, Ammi!" The second son exclaimed before his younger brother, fear etched on both of their faces.

Ammi's mother, however, couldn't bear to stand idly by. She wept and pleaded, her cries echoing through the night as she tried to shield her daughter from the storm of her father's wrath.

"Please… please, think about what you're doing? Please wohh…?" She implored; her voice strained with desperation. As Baba repeatedly entered Ammi's room, he callously packed her belongings, flinging them out onto the cold ground. The air was charged with the acrid scent of anger and despair. The family's home, once a haven, now transformed into a battleground.

"Stop this… stop, Baba!" Till's voice carried through the night as he rushed toward the chaotic scene. "We can't handle it this way." But Baba, fueled by a righteous anger, paid no heed, his actions echoing the harshness of his words. Ammi's mother, torn between loyalty to her daughter and fear of her husband, cried out in anguish. Baba dragged her into the compound, locked Ammi outside and her meager belongings.

The cold ground embraced Ammi as she sat amidst her scattered belongings, a solitary figure under the indifferent gaze of the moon. Broken Ammi could hear the sound of her mother's wails and her desperate drumming on the door reverberated in the night.

The weight of familial disgrace bore down on her, the tears on her face mirroring the despair that clung to her heart. "Where will she go?" A subdued voice trembled with uncertainty. The night held its breath, bearing witness to the shattered fragments of a once-united family, scattered in the harsh winds of a tumultuous revelation.

In the confines of the room, Baba grappled with a twinge of guilt, acknowledging that his absence, largely spent shuttling highways as a bus driver, may have deprived his family of the consistent moral guidance they needed. He reflected on the sparse nights he spent with his family throughout his life. However, amidst this self-reflection, Baba staunchly defended his parenting, convinced that despite his physical absence, he hadn't erred in instilling values in his children.

In the oppressive stillness of the night, the compound echoed with the heart-wrenching cries of Ammi's mother. Her tear-streaked face pressed against the worn entrance door, she pleaded with desperation, "Ammi, I know you can hear me. Don't go anywhere; I'm coming!" The words hung heavy in the air, repeated every 10 to 15 minutes amidst subdued sobs, but Ammi remained silent, absorbed in the shadows behind the door that separated them.

Ammi's four brothers, overwhelmed and helplessly attempted to console their grieving mother, their voices blending with the night as they too succumbed to the exhaustion of their futile efforts. Slowly, one by one, they retreated to their sleeping places, leaving behind a lingering sense of desolation.

Amidst the chaos of scattered clothes, bags, and shoes, Ammi stirred at 2:00 am, the cold gnawed at her, pulling her from the haze of her lost memories. Disoriented, she attempted to gather her belongings, groping for something, possibly her mobile phone. However, the cruel reality set in. – It had fallen in her room, shattered into pieces during her father's chaotic packing. Frustration and resignation painted her face as she abandoned the futile search.

Barefooted, Ammi approached the entrance where her mother had sought solace, Ammi sprayed her two palms, leaning them against door, spilled her shattered soul out in silent agony, for half an hour. The night absorbed the weight of her wordless sorrow until, finally, her mother heard Ammi's voice raw and apologetic. "I am sorry, Ama, I am sorry! She poured in tears, and heartbreaking admission. Then, without a trace of her possessions, she left barefooted, disappearing into the dark, carrying the burden of remorse and the weight of an uncertain future.

Overwhelmed by family rejection, burdened with disgrace, and drowning in the emotional turmoil she inflicted upon her mother, Ammi stumbled through the deserted night, her eyes barely able to open, lost in the vast unknown of the darkened landscape.

Her shattered emotions guided her recklessly onto the motorist road, a dangerous path in her disoriented state. Suddenly, a lone, high-speed vehicle emerged from the darkness, colliding with Ammi. "Ah!" She cried out, suspended momentarily in the air before descending into the oblivion beside the desolate road.

A pair of figures, a short driver and his towering companion, stumbled out of the car, both partially intoxicated. The tall man, with a burning cigarette held between his fingers, moved hastily to lift Ammi. "No!" the short man shouted urgently, gesturing with both hands. "Don't touch her." In a fumbled rush, they retreated to the car and sped away, callously abandoning Ammi without offering any help. The night swallowed them up, leaving Ammi alone, injured, and forsaken in the darkness.