Two Lives, Regrets of Us

After lunch, Li Wei decided to go up to the temple with Aunt Rin. The path there was quite tiring, the stairs seemed endless. She persisted to know how the world looked like from high up. With determination and three breaks, Li Wei finally made through the gates of Sunset Temple. She breathed heavily and her back was bent downwards trying to catch her breath. She's never felt so tired before. Had she been too lazy lately?

Just a foot away, Li Fahrin simply folded her arms and watched as the young girl struggled.

"Aunt Rin, how are you not affected? There's not a single drop of sweat on your skin," Li Wei quietly complained. Once the trip was over and she returned home, she would take more time to strengthen herself. Her current state of health was not good. How could she not compare to a woman twice her age?

The older woman only laughed and pulled her along. Together, they entered the temple. Inside was a large prayer room with doors leading to the balcony next to the waterfall. Smaller rooms were also available for meditating. The upper floors were off limits to guests and were the living quarters of the priests who took care of the temple. Li Wei and Aunt Rin were the first to arrive, so there was no other guests yet.

Li Fahrin walked towards a placemat on the ground to pray while Li Wei was attracted by the waterfall. Li Wei slowly walked onto the balcony and breathed in the fresh air. It was felt refreshing and slightly cooler than in the city. From up here, she could see other families gathering down the mountain. The sky was bright and clear, the sun felt warm. It was a beautiful day perfect for outdoor gatherings.

She leaned one of her arm on the railings of the balcony and the other reached out towards the waterfall. When clear droplets started filling her palm, she looked at them in awe because she could see her reflection. Amused, she tried smiling and her reflection smiled back. When she puckered her lips, her reflection returned the same action. Li Wei giggled to herself, feeling oddly satisfied and blew the water off her hand.

"What's your name, child?"

Li Wei whipped around and came face to face with an elder man. The man was dressed like the other priests she passed by earlier, but she could immediately tell he held a high status here. He carried a strong, yet calming aura, and wisdom filled his eyes. Even the way he studied her seemed to be different from average people. This was for sure the High Priest of Sunset Temple, she thought. For some reason, she felt the need to straighten her back before she politely replied, "Greetings, I'm Li Wei."

"Li Wei..." The High Priest said her name, his eyebrows crinkling slightly. "Who are your parents, child?"

"I-I don't know. I am an orphan and my parents have long passed away, I have no recollection of them." It was not usual for her to be this honest to a stranger, but Li Wei felt somewhat obligated to be honest. She didn't dare lie to the High Priest in his own place. Also, he was watching her like he knew her, but for sure she had no memories of meeting this man whether it was this life or the life before.

The High Priest didn't say anything regarding her answer and only nodded as if he accepted her answer. When his eyes fell on her hand, he asked, "May I take a look at your hand, child?"

Before she could process his request, she had already held out her hand towards him. The elder man's gaze turned cold, the expression on his face almost became frozen once he saw the lines on her palm. Her hands trembled after noticing his strange reaction. She pulled her hands behind her back as if she's suddenly done something wrong.

"You're not supposed to be here." He finally said after a long period of silence. "You shouldn't be."

All of a sudden, her heart felt heavy. She felt unsure of where this was heading. She didn't understand his words. What was he referring to? She was here to spend time with her family, to have fun. Sunset Temple was well known for being accepting and opened to anyone regardless of wealth or status. The High Priest shouldn't be someone so narrow minded. She felt a bit offended and asked, "What do you mean?"

The High Priest's hauntingly cold eyes stared into her own, his lips pressed tightly together and the lines on his forehead crinkled into a frown. When he spoke, it was as if he could see through her, his words penetrating deeply through her soul, "You don't belong in this life. You've died once before, haven't you?"

He wasn't questioning her, he was stating it. Somehow, he knew. More than disbelief, guilt filled her. Li Wei subconsciously took two steps back and her back fell against the metal railing. Her chest heaved heavily and her whole body trembled. Tears covered her widened eyes. She didn't know how to answer him. She couldn't. "I-I..."

"It's a pity." The High Priest broke his gaze and turned towards the waterfall that suddenly looked as if it was falling into an unknown dark abyss. There was a quick look of sadness in his eyes for a second. He quietly muttered, "You were not destined to live a long life. You won't live long, child."

His words echoed inside her mind, like an indefinite circle with no end.

You were not destined to live a long life.

You won't live long, child.

In this moment, Li Wei's legs gave out and she fell onto her knees. She didn't feel the pain of hitting the stone floor. All she could feel was emptiness, cold emptiness that erased the happiness away. Her bright smile was long gone, there was no trace of the sparks in her eyes. Even her skin had turned a pale color, her lips felt dry and the natural red color had disappeared. She felt lifeless, all her previous hopes of being better, living better, evaporated into the air like it never existed in the first place.

"There he is, let's go ask the High Priest about our worries!" Two female guests ushered with excitement as they entered the into the praying room and saw the man standing on the balcony. The High Priest gave her a final glance before walking away, his voice held its final warning. "The one who turned against the orders of the heavens will receive retribution soon. That's to say, if it's not yet occurred."

She didn't cry, she wouldn't allow herself to. Only after she locked herself in a small meditation room did she gave permission for the tears to come streaming down. Her arms and legs felt limped as she cried uncontrollably in silence.

Khan Bojing's face came into her mind. The way he smiled at her, his dimples dancing on his cheeks. The warmth he gave her when he held her in his arms. The way he worried and cared for her... It broke her heart to think that she may not experience it again.

Their wedding, would it even happen? She had dispised their marriage before. She spat at him for being such a gentleman. Why did he have to take her with him to his home? Just why did he have to be so nice? These were all the thoughts she felt before, she hated how everything turned out against her will, but now she wished for it to happen.

And her baby... Her Little Bun, Khan Bohai. She still remembered the way his small hands held onto her, trying to give her as much strength to carry on as he could. Even when she yelled at him, pushed him away, and ignored him, he waited for her love... Every day, he waited for the love he never received from his mother...

Li Wei's mind was blowing itself away. The longer she lived in this life, the more things became unfamiliar to her. She wanted to pull out her hairs, scratch out her brain, and sift through every memory of her previous life to find the answers to her questions.