11/08

The sun is shining through my blinds. I didn't realize that I closed them a little bit last night. But anyway I'm up and I'm ready to get everything done today so that tomorrow I don't have to rush that much and I can take a little more time to dress up before I head to the airport. 

If your wondering if I look more Canadian then Korean then honestly your wrong I have my father's eyes and my mother's nose and my hair is black like my dad and it's a straight. I have fair skin and light red lips. people sometimes think I'm a model but I never really thought of myself that pretty. I'm just an ordinary girl.

So I start packing my clothes and then I head to my books and start packing some of them that I would like to take with me and then when I'm packing I come across a snow globe my dad gave me 5 years ago for Christmas, it was my last gift from him and I never thought that it'll be my last. They say "never take things, moments or people for granted because when it's gone you might never get them or it back" back then I thought that it was a stupid gift but I never thought it'll mean this much to me now. 

That's when I realized a tear came out of my eye and I quickly wiped it away and kept packing. You might be wondering why I did such thing. Wipe away my tear and pretend like it was nothing.

You see back then when my mom left I cried a lot. I cried everyday at night thinking about my mom and my dad and wishing that they would come through the door and apologize. And we'll be living happily together but I guess that was a stupid thought because the truth was right in front of me. They're never coming back and none of them would bow there heads if one was wrong or both of them were because the truth is that they're like that and they'll never change.

So I hope you understand why I act the way I did. I promised myself that I would never ever shed a tear again for them or because of them. I was hurt for a long time and I had to get through it alone. You might be thinking that Highschool was easy for a person that had a lot of money but your wrong. People took advantage of me because of that and they bullied me and did a lot of bad stuff to me and against me. Those 4 years were hell. So I promised myself that I won't cry again. 

So back to packing. I'm basically done with everything. I head to the bathroom and I take my clothes off and I take a long bath and wash my hair. When I'm done I throw on some sweatpants and a sweater and a hoodie because it's always cold where I live. I head to the kitchen and I make myself some smoothie with vegetables and fruits. when I'm done I head to the living room and turn the tv on and watch some of my favorite k dramas. 

Yeah, yeah I like k dramas. I got that trade from my father, we used to watch k dramas together all the time. I think to myself 'I really miss those times'. I quickly stop thinking about them because it really makes me feel lonely and sad but most of all angry.

Thinking about my parents makes me feel angry because I really did love them a lot and apparently they didn't really love me because they've turned there back on their only child. Their only little girl. Well who once was little..