Water of the Womb Ch23

"Do we have to do this tonight?" Ryusuke said, leaning into my car window. Seol-hee and I were already sitting in my Nissan Z, and I just wanted to go. "Come on, at least wait until we can reach Sungmin first."

"You can stay behind if you want," I said. Even though my sour mood from before had improved after I had brainstormed with my friends, I knew it would just return if I sat idle another night. I needed to make money, or else the debt would only get worse. "You know how bad I need to make money."

"Alright, I know, I get it. but what if your brother is there?"

Even if Taejun was there again at the meet, I had to face him eventually. "You're the one who said it. He can't force me to go anywhere."

"It's not just about forcing you to go wherever," Ryusuke insisted. "What if you guys end up fighting?"

I didn't physically fight with Taejun. Being the younger brother by six years, I had quickly learned as a child that I stood no chance against him in a brawl. Even though he no longer had that significant size advantage, he had finished his draft and undertaken whatever training they did at the NIS. I was pretty certain he'd still thrash me.

"I'm not Hoojin. I know better than to try to brawl him."

"Ryu, you really want to piss him off right now? We'll just go, make sure he stays out of trouble, or back him up if he does." Eunsoo could see that I was getting heated, and he managed to convince Ryusuke to step away. I wouldn't fight Taejun, but I certainly had no qualms about laying Ryusuke out if he kept trying to get in my way.

Finally, with Ryusuke out of the way, I let my Nissan Z come to life, and take me away to the battlefield.

—--------

Fortunately, Taejun was nowhere to be found when we arrived at the meet. His unsuccessful venture to the meet yesterday must have deterred him from returning the second night. Or else he was busy dealing with the fallout with Hoojin.

For some reason, Ryu had elected not to take his car, and had instead ridden with Eunsoo, so the number of our vehicles had been significantly reduced. Despite my bravado before, it did feel odd to be there without Sungmin (and by extension, Sunhee), and we all felt it (except Seol-hee, I guess, because she ran off immediately, as usual). The guys stayed close to each other by our cars, working up the nerve to engage with the rest of the meet.

That definitely didn't stop Le Creuset from beelining to us the moment he recognized our group. "It's the Blue Tigers!" he enthused. "But where's your leader? I've never seen you lot around without King Exotic!"

"He's doing his own thing tonight," I answered, before Eunsoo had a chance to say something stupid.

LC took it in stride and plowed on. His drone swiveled to focus on me instead. "Jester J, you mad dog. I'm surprised you're already out here showing your face – well, at least a sliver of it– after what happened last night."

"And what exactly happened?" I snapped. Hopefully LC wasn't going around blabbing to the whole world that I was related to a half-crazed NIS agent who was determined to track me down and drag my ass to Beijing.

I had underestimated LC's professionalism with keeping his stream participant's identities secret. "You've been turning out quite the saga since you've shown up, Jester. First you make everyone wonder why you've got all that over your face. Then, it turns out you are in hiding after all, because some random fed shows up looking for you. But plot twist, turns out Fang has some personal vendetta against that guy, and he starts some shit up, and WHAM! Next thing we know, the fed's gone and dragged Fang off to who knows where."

Fang was surely Park Hoojin, unless there had coincidentally been another crazed racer who also had a vendetta against Taejun and had also acted on it last night. Though to be honest, with Taejun's burgeoning track record, it wasn't that improbable.

"But I'm sure we'll see him again. Nothing keeps Fang down for long," LC said brightly, as though Hoojin hadn't been booked for assaulting a federal officer and having illicit drugs. Despite his cheery streamer voice, LC was shooting me death glares offscreen behind his drone. "But we definitely didn't expect to see you, especially Jester, after that incident. Don't tell me you're here looking to avenge Fang?"

"Nothing we can do for Fang at the moment," Ryusuke said morosely.

"Then?" Despite his best efforts, a strained tone was creeping into LC's voice. "If the fed comes back looking for Jester, what are you planning on doing about that?"

"Look, that fed's got nothing on me. He might think he does, but he doesn't," I said hotly, remembering the lines Seol-hee and I had come up with on the ride over. "Even if he shows up again, he can't do anything to me."

LC relaxed visibly. "You seem confident about that. Hope it's true. And! Hope that fed doesn't come back around. Thanks for the coins, TurboDrive! No, if Jester is as innocent as he says he is, the meet will keep on going. After all, it's not the first time we've had jjapsae sniffing around here. We know how to deal with it, eh chat?"

We stood there awkwardly letting him talk to his invisible friends for some time before he returned his focus to us. "Though, I think we won't be having any races for a while," he said, shooting a pointed look at me.

"That's hardly fair to your chat, isn't it?" I said loudly so the drone would turn to me. "I thought you guys came for a good show."

"Do you want to just talk about cars all day? Or do you want to see them race?"

I could practically see LC's blood vessels bursting from stress. But in a moment he regained his professionalism. "Heol! You can't see it, Jester, but chat's going wild over your statement. You've caused quite a rift. Some of our long time viewers are saying you're an idiot and you could get the whole meet shut down." The dagger-like look he shot me told me he agreed with them. "But then we've got an absolute ton of people cheering you on!"

"Let's take a quick break, chat. But stay active. Let's get a good debate going in the comments!" LC's fingers tapped his stream deck, and the feed for his stream must have changed to something else, because he immediately screeched at me.

"Are you fucking insane, Baek Jaehyun-nom?! I tell you to lay low and you couldn't even do it for one day before you come charging back in! And now you're inciting my chat to demand a race, even though your fucking narc brother could show up at any time!"

He looked like he was about to poke me in the chest but thought better of it when I fixed him with a threatening glare.

"If he shows up, I'll deal with him then," I snapped.

"What happened to trying to stay under his radar?" LC cried.

"Jae finally realized that he was a dumbass and he didn't even need to be hiding in the first place," Eunsoo answered, before I could get a word in. He ducked the smack I aimed at his head.

"Sure, fine. But until you convince your brother to stop following you around, I absolutely cannot have him witnessing anything! that could shut the meet down. And yes asshole, that absolutely includes races."

"I mean, you're pretty experienced at covering up any video evidence about organizing races from your stream. As long as you can maintain plausible deniability that you had no idea that two guys were going to start a race at the meet, even if they get caught, there's no proof that the meet is responsible for organizing it," Ryu said.

"Shut up, nerd. I wouldn't push me if I were you. You Tigers are already this close to getting a ban. I told Sungmin and Hoojin I don't know how many goddamn times. No gang related activity at the meet, including pushing drugs. Don't even bring them! And yet your idiot Hoojin's out here with the fattest stash sitting there in his glove department just begging to be found by any jjapsae with half a brain! At this point I can only hope that he can convince your narc brother it's somehow just for himself, not to sell!"

"Hoojin is a drug dealer?!"

LC looked at me like I was a shitstain on his shoe. "How do you not fucking know? How-" He turned to Eunsoo and Ryusuke. "How does he fucking not know?" He screeched at them. Despite LC's puny stature, Ryusuke shrunk back behind Eunsoo.

The tiny orange man threw up his hands in exasperation. "Whatever. I've had it with you, Jaehyun. I'm not setting up any fucking races for you. Or any of you Tigers! Not today. Not tomorrow. Not until the NIS burns to the ground and completely forgets all about this goddamn meet." He stormed off.

I stared at Eunsoo and Ryusuke dumfoundedly.

"I told you it was a bad idea to come," Ryusuke said tentatively. "Let's go back before-"

"When were you going to tell me that Hoojin is running around selling drugs?" I asked weakly. I'd had my fill of gangsters lately.

"Um, Hoojin and Sungmin sell drugs?" Eunsoo offered.

"They're both dealers," I said, even more faintly.

"They're not big time or anything," Eunsoo tried to explain. "They've just got a source and they sell a bit to make cash, it's not like they're running a huge gang and breaking people's legs or shooting people over it."

I found his reasoning to be extremely ironic, considering the fact that I had unfortunately witnessed both. But it was a relief to hear that they weren't part of any gang. Just doing a bit of somewhat illegal work to make money. I wasn't in any position to judge them for that. I was pretty much doing the same thing.

But without LC's stream, there was no way I'd be able to get a race with a decent pot to make money. "Fine. But I need to convince LC that I need to race."

"How are you still on that?" Ryu exclaimed. "For fuck's sake, let's just get Seol-hee and go!"

I started toward him, about to physically remind him exactly why I desperately needed to race. Eunsoo sensed my intent and stepped in between us. "Jae, stop it right now."

I did stop, to Eunsoo and Ryusuke's surprise. But I hadn't stopped because of Eunsoo.

Round 2 was beginning.

Taejun was here.

I don't know when he had arrived, or how he had spotted me. But with LC throwing an absolute fit, I hadn't exactly been paying attention to our surroundings.

My expression must have changed immediately upon spotting him, because Eunsoo and Ryusuke turned to look at what I was now looking at. They tensed immediately at the sight of Taejun. Though I had seen him far worse, he was already seething with suppressed fury.

"Jaehyun," Taejun said. His voice was level, but I could feel the heat of the magma underneath, ready to erupt at any moment.

"Taejun." The tension felt ridiculous. We were like two cowboys in a Western, hands twitching towards our guns. Except in this scenario, Taejun was the only one with a gun.

"I haven't seen you in a week," he said testily. He shot a look at Ryusuke and Eunsoo intended to make them back up. They did, somewhat. "You lost your phone."

I wasn't sure what he was doing. It semed that he was trying his best not to sound patronizing in front of my friends, but somehow it seemed even more so because of it. There was no way he didn't know I would ditch it after he told me he could track me from it. "I threw it away," I replied.

He took in a long breath as he gazed at me steadily. "Can we talk in private?" Taejun asked. Clearly Ryusuke and Eunsoo were still too close.

"I'm fine to talk here," I said, as coolly as I could, despite my heartbeat starting to pick up.

"Uh, we'll just… go?" Ryusuke offered. Eunsoo shot him a look. "We need to find Seol-hee anyways," Ryusuke hinted tensely. He managed to drag Eunsoo with him in his retreat, even though Eunsoo kept looking back.

Taejun's gaze followed them for a while before he snapped it back to me. "Are you ready to come home yet?" he asked. Now that my friends were gone, he let a bit more of his anger creep into his voice.

"I'll pass."

He didn't like my dismissive answer. He grabbed my arm and jerked me towards him. "What do you think you're doing here, Jae? What kind of company are you keeping?"

I wondered how he'd react to me telling him that two of my friends were apparently drug dealers. Better not to push him yet. "Those guys? They're programmers." I felt a mischievous thrill. I wasn't lying, after all.

Taejun's eyes narrowed. He had no idea if I was just answering insolently, or telling the truth. "Programmers. With race cars."

"Who said anything about racing?" I asked innocently.

It was the wrong thing to say. His grip on my arm tightened painfully. "Don't play me like a damn idiot," he snapped. "I know exactly what you're trying to do here. But how, I don't know. You don't even have a goddamn car."

If only he knew I had two cars in my possession, and driven three, over the last week.

"I'm taking you back home. Right now. Before you get yourself into some trouble you can't crawl your way out of," Taejun growled. He started off, intent on dragging me back home. But I wasn't shell shocked like that day, and I stood my ground, stopping him short.

"I haven't done anything," I said, trying to keep calm. "You can't take me anywhere, even if you're some NIS hotshot."

He bristled. "I'm your hyung, not just a NIS agent. I'm taking you away for your own good."

"And what makes you think you get the right to decide what's good for me or not?" I asked, somewhat loudly. My emotions were surging and it was getting hard to stay calm and collected. I jerked my arm free. "You think you can just walk in and out of my life, and then tell me what to do because you were, what, born first?"

I could tell my words had hurt Taejun. His anger receded a little, and he hesitated for a moment. He offered a peace treaty. "Fine. If you're that set on not going to Beijing, you don't have to. But at least come back with me. These aren't the kind of people you want to be getting on with," Taejun urged.

"You don't even know them," I snapped back. "These people are my friends."

"They're not your friends," he insisted. "You've known them for a week! Maybe even less."

"Yeah? And yet somehow, despite only knowing each other for a week, Eunsoo's already offered to help pay off our parents' debt. Something you've never once considered!" I was nearly yelling again already.

He flinched as though I had slapped him. Then he rebounded, his anger resurfacing. "Well Eunsoo is either an idiot or has money to burn. He doesn't understand the full situation. He doesn't know, like you and I know, how if we give our dad a free pass, that he'll just take it and do it again, over and over and over."

"Don't call him an idiot," I growled (even though I called Eunsoo an idiot almost hourly). "He's smarter than you. He's younger than you, and already made more money than either of us will ever make in our lifetimes, and unlike you, he's not wasting it trying to be a doenjangnam!"

"I'm not here to talk about Eunsoo, whoever he is." Taejun shook with anger. "I'm trying to save you, from either getting arrested for reckless endangerment, or worse, dying in fucking car accident-"

"I'm not a child. I don't need you to save me. I learned how to take care of myself just fine without you!"

"Obviously not," Taejun growled. He had enough of my resistance. "We're leaving. Now." He grabbed my arm again, and despite my efforts, he was apparently far stronger, because I lost my balance and began to be dragged along with him. Despite telling Ryusuke I wouldn't try to brawl Taejun, in my panic, I swung at him.

It was a messy swing. Taejun dropped my other arm instantly as he sidestepped it. He grabbed my wrist as my fist flew past him uselessly, and his other hand seized my upper arm. He jerked me forward, pulling my arm painfully back in the process, and before I knew what was happening, Taejun had me pinned to the ground, with my arm excruciatingly twisted behind me. I gasped at the pain as I tried to wiggle free.

"Do you need me to cuff you?" Taejun snarled. I struggled and tried to elbow him with my free arm for some relief, but he caught that too, and now both of my arms were behind me. I felt like he was going to break my arm.

"Whoa! Officer! Are you arresting this guy?" In my agony it took me a moment to realize that it was Le Creuset that had come to interrupt. I could barely turn my head to look, but he was flanked by the rest of the Tigers. So it wasnt Seol-hee Ryusuke had gone to get. It was LC. Or rather, LC's camera and viewers.

"You'd better turn that camera of yours off right now," Taejun snapped.

"I have a right to record," LC said. I didn't know how that screechy dwarf was standing up to Taejun, but in the moment I was overjoyed that he could. I didn't know if he actually had the right to do so, but he must have, because Taejun had no instant comeback.

"On what grounds are you arresting him?" Ryusuke asked. I felt maliciously vindictive that my friends were standing up for me. Seeing the usually timid Ryusuke defending me inspired me to struggle a little more. But Taejun put more pressure on my arm, causing me to let out a grunt of pain.

"Maybe I'm arresting him for trying to assault a federal officer," Taejun replied coolly. Oh no. I did try to punch him first.

"Actually, we caught it on camera that you initiated. You were trying to drag him somewhere. He was acting in self defense," LC said gleefully. "It was caught live on stream."

I couldn't see Taejun's face, but I could imagine how wrathful it must be now. Reluctantly, he let me go. I gasped in relief. I struggled to my feet and rubbed my shoulder, shooting Taejun a glare as I did so.

"Fine. It's a personal matter," Taejun said hotly, but not with his usual force. Even he knew he had messed up now. "I'm going to ask you nicely to leave us alone."

"You should leave me alone," I snapped at him. "Stop following me around, trying to micromanage my life."

With the camera and the thousands of eyes on the other side of it, Taejun knew he was backed against the wall. It wasn't just his fragile reputation that was on the line. Anything he did now could reflect poorly on the NIS. His vindictive anger dissipated.

"Is that what you really want?" he asked. Taejun sounded hurt and tired.

I didn't have any reputation to upkeep, so I could keep going at his throat. "Yes! How many times do I have to tell you? You're the one who told me to never come back." I could see Taejun crumbling now. Incited by the victory I could almost taste, I kept going. But the camera was still on me, and I didn't feel like giving a story time to LC's followers. Quietly, so that the mic and the people around us couldn't hear, I said to him, and him alone:

"You've already forfeited any right you had to be in my life when you left first."

I saw utter and total defeat in Taejun's eyes. My final taunt had truly struck at his heart, and I felt a pang of remorse at just how badly I had hurt him. He seemed to shrink physically. Taejun turned away without a word. I don't think he could have said anything in that moment.

As we watched him return to his car and drive away, the long-awaited victory that I had thought would be so sweet only tasted like bitter regret.