Twenty

My mom was so enthusiastic when I agreed to do therapy. Her mood seemed to do a 180 overnight when I saw her the next morning. She was smiling and was so happy to see me it kind of freaked me out a little.

I had chosen the first person my parents suggested and they got him in contact with me within a couple of days. It started with simple questions about getting to know me; music taste, about the band, family, but I knew the next time would not be as easy.

"So I heard about your girlfriend, Summer. What exactly happened?" Dr. Beckman asked me through the screen. We had been on a Skype call talking about my friends.

"Why?" I ask looking away from the webcam, avoiding the conversation.

"You'll have to talk about it sooner or later, it's the only way to get past it and move on."

"I know. I'm just not ready yet."

"I understand, we'll try again another day." I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding in and look back at the screen. "So, tell me about your music, I hear you already dropped a single and an album."

"We haven't released the album yet, we're planning to sing songs from it to hype it up before it's out to the public."

Summer had hardly been brought up in our conversations though I knew how badly he wanted to know more about my delusional mind and hallucinations.

It has now been a week and a half since the whole group ganged up on me and today at noon we're boarding a plane to our first destination to meet up with the band we're opening for and tag along with them from then on.

I had packed everything I needed last night and set it on my bed this morning. I was still trying to get past leaving but it would be for the best to get away probably. New start sort of thing.

"Bryson! They're here!" My mom yells up the stairs, breaking me from my thoughts. I sigh as I grab my bags. Can't back out now, even if I wanted. No, this is for the best. I say bye and grab my things to leave.

Natalie would be downstairs along with them. After the recent events, I've been set back from her. Summer was back in my mind more than ever and I just felt so guilty to think about Natalie. I'm a terrible person but she told me countless times she understands. I have no idea why she still bothers with me.

"Hey." I say at the bottom step gaining everyone's attention.

"You all set?" Reese says and I nod in return.

"Let's hit the road then!" Ash says enthusiastically and we all shake our heads at him.

"You only say that if you're going on a road trip, not a plane trip." Ryland laughs.

"Aren't we though?" He says as he walks through the door, oblivious.

"A road trip is not a fifteen-minute drive, just saying." Ryland shakes his head at him like a small child.

"Uhh, we're taking a trip to the airport on a road in a car." He says in a duh tone pointing to the car and road.

We all have a group facepalm moment and walk past Asher in disbelief.

"Am I right or what?" He says behind us as I place my stuff in the back. "Technically, just saying." He mimics Ryland earning a glare from him.

"So, it's finally happening." Natalie says sitting down in the far back with me. We had taken Ryland's parent's van to fit all six of us. Kylie was going to drive it back after we leave. We had said goodbye to our parents beforehand and managed to convince them all not to follow us to the airport and embarrass us.

"Yeah, it's so surreal." I smile at her trying to keep the guilt of ignoring her at a minimum. I have no idea why she still agreed to come today after Reese asked her behind my back. It should have been me to ask. "I'm sorry." I blurt out, my thoughts clouding my mind.

"For what?" She laughs, smiling lightly.

"For being distant, and not seeing each other before today." I mumble the last part, only partially looking her way in embarrassment.

"Reese explained everything to me."

"What?" I ask, scared to what extent she knew of. I would be mortified if she knew everything.

"Only some." She rushes out. "I stopped him before he spilled too much, I thought it'd be better if I heard it from you when you're ready."

I let out a sigh of relief and relax in my seat. I was happy that she respected my privacy but I was also mad at Reese for almost giving her an excuse to leave me for good. I was so lucky she was even still here as is.

----

"Well, I guess this is goodbye." Natalie pulls me aside after getting inside and through security.

"Not for long I hope." I smile down at her.

"I'll see if I can meet up with you guys sometime, Ryland mentioned something about you guys going to California for a week and I'll be there for sure for college in a few weeks, it would actually work out nicely—"

"I'd like that." I cut off her nervous rambling. Her cheeks flush heavily as she looks down. "I look forward to it."

She smiles brightly back at me and reaches her arms around my next to bring me closer to her. I instantly calm in her arms and lift her up to my height making a small giggle fall from her lips.

"Can I kiss you?" She stares down at my lips and up to my eyes.

"Are you always going to ask?" I poke fun at her. She lowers her head against my shoulder and groans as I place her back down on her feet. "You can always kiss me." I say more seriously gainer back her full attention.

"I'll probably still ask anyway." She sticks her tongue out and pushes away from me a little.

I was very well aware of the little audience we had around us, mainly Reese and Ash, since Kylie and Ryland were elsewhere doing god knows what, both of them taking not very discreet looks in our direction and then laughing like a bunch of school girls.

"I'm fine with that." I say leaning down to catch her lips with mine. The moment was soon broken though the two idiots screeching 'ew' and 'get a room'. If looks could kill, they'd both be dead. Twice.

After Ryland comes back with Kylie, we all say our goodbyes to the girls and start to make our way to the plane. I stayed last to follow so I could say a private goodbye and get a kiss before leaving.

"Text me when you land!" Natalie says behind me after I turn to leave and I turn around and smile telling her I will do so and watch as she runs to catch up with Kylie's disappearing figure.

As I turn, again, to follow the rest of the group, I notice a girl pass me that strikes a sword straight through my heart. I stumble over myself as I turn myself to get a better look.

My bag drops out of my hand when I notice who I'm in fact looking at. Her hair was lighter and she had colored contacts in to hide her true eye color. She was wearing many layers, hiding her body, and was chewing anxiously at her necklace. The necklace I had given her before she disappeared.

She hadn't noticed me gawking but I'm sure it wouldn't belong. She was adjusting the strap on her bag while trying to keep a grip on her phone. Her body is faced towards me giving me the perfect view of her face that I could recognize anywhere.

"S-Summer?" Her actions stop at my hushed voice, shocked she even heard it fall from my lips.

When her eyes meet mine, they're first confused but then they go to shock and then she adverts them away from mine. It had to be her. Had to. Any other person would quickly deny the name and ask why I was talking to them.

"Wha?" My voice fails me as it throws out air instead of sound. It was as if my brain couldn't concentrate on anything but her, lacking in my vocal cords.

"Bry." She says softly dropping her gaze to the floor and back up at me with so much sorrow I forget she's supposed to be dead for three years.

I reach my right hand to pinch my left arm and wince at the contact. I could swear this wasn't real but it was just that. I'd never experienced anything like this. My body was on fire, the flames were engulfing me the longer we stared each other down. It was real. If she hadn't whispered my name, I would have never believed it.

"Bryson, I'm sorry." She tries to take a step towards me but I take one back just as fast. I had no idea why I just did, I had imagined this scenario many times and we'd hug and kiss and go back to normal happiness. But now that it's actually happening, I'm stuck on what to do and what to say.

"No." I shake my head backing up further almost stumbling over my bag on the ground in the process. "I can't do this right now."

I reach for my bag and a tear falls from my eye. I couldn't handle this right now. All I wanted was for her is to be back, but now I'm not so sure.

"I- I have to, I have to go." I Stutter out not looking back as I rush away from her to the plane I was supposed to board five minutes ago.

"Wait!" I hear her shout behind me but it only pushes me to go faster. Please, please let this be fake. I don't think I can do this. Please, just make it stop. I wish I could finally wake up from this nightmare.

♡