Chapter 1: Beaten Down

"Hey, fag!" A familiar voice called out to me.

Knowing exactly what was going to follow that call, I hunch my shoulders and turn to face the music head on.

Alex swaggered towards me, a smirk on his face and his idiot cronies on either side of him. I bit the inside of my lip and mentally prepare myself for today's torment. He stopped a few feet away and gave me a once over.

"Bold today, aren't you? Usually you'd try to run." He snorted.

Usually I did. But for some reason today I was just tired of all the bullshit. I met his hard gaze head on.

"And add to your fun? What's the point?"

Immediately his eyes darkened and the smirk on his face slipped into a frown. He ordered his goons to keep a look out as he stepped forward to grab me by the collar and dragged me behind a nearby building. All the breath in my lungs whooshed out as he slammed me against the brick, struggling to catch a breath as he leaned in close. Alex was easily an entire head taller than me and brawny; I was no match for his strength as he held me in place.

"Feeling awfully bold aren't you?" He growled lowly. "Do I have to remind you of your place?"

"N-no."

He lifted me up and slammed me against the brick again, my breath leaving me a second time. "No, what?"

I wheeze, trying to catch my breath, and he shifted his grip from my collar to my throat. I was locked in place, barely able to inhale.

"Answer me!"

"No, Beta Apparent sir." I croak out.

His grip loosened, but only slightly. "Good boy. Never forget your place Robin. You are beneath me, no better than a lousy Omega. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Beta Apparent sir."

Finally he let me go and I fell to my knees, gasping for air. Above my head, Alex chuckled and thrust his hips in my directions.

"I think I like you like this." He purred. I didn't–couldn't–respond but it didn't matter as he continued on. "Now, as we've been hearing nonstop all month, tomorrow is Blake's birthday. But I haven't gotten him a gift yet. That's not a good look for me, yanno? So I need you to go into town and get him something for me."

I remain silent, just trying to breathe, but my thoughts were whirling. Did Alex know about my gift for Blake? The one I bought weeks ago, carefully wrapped, and hid from prying eyes like his? I know he did not want me to give him my gift, to present to Blake as his own? It was a limited edition cologne from his favorite brand! I couldn't get something like that again with only a day left.

Alex crouched down and lifted my chin up until our eyes met. "I know about your fucking cologne and I don't want that. What kind of man would I be to give another man cologne? Just get him like a suit or something. I bet your freaky gay ass already knows his measurements, don't you?"

Okay uh–no, I did not know Blake's measurements. Why the hell would I know something like that?

When I shook my head, Alex sighed and lifted me up by my collar. "Well, figure it out. Fuck this up and I promise you'll regret it. If you think your life is hell now…I'll prove just how wrong you are."

I swallowed hard. "Yes, Beta Apparent sir."

"Good." He let me go and brushed my shoulders roughly. "I assume you have money right? I don't care if it takes you all night and you don't get any sleep, you will have what I asked for by tomorrow morning. I want to wake up with it in my hands, got it?"

The only money I had that could afford the quality he wanted was from the money my parents left me. I hadn't spent a dime with it, painstakingly saving up my own allowance and doing extra chores for the pack in order to afford my own gift for Blake. I didn't have nearly enough leftover to buy a gift, forcing me to have to spend my parents' money. My eyes burn and a nasty taste filled my mouth as I nod an affirmative to Alex.

For a moment he just stared at me, his gaze unreadable. Then he turned away with a dismissive scoff, flicking his hand at me as he walked off with his goons trailing after him. If anyone saw what happened, they didn't care to intervene.

I stood there silently for a while, until my legs gave out and I curled up on the ground. The tears came easily. I buried my head into my knees to muffle the sound until I could control the sobs.

"Usti…little one…" A deep voice resonated through me. I took a deep breath and delved into my subconscious, where my other half lurked.

From the very day of my birth, I was always different from everyone else.

Every few decades or so, a child without a wolf spirit was born. It was something known the very moment an infant left the womb. Parents usually had the option of killing the child or sending the child to a human adoption agency. A child without their wolf was as good as dead within a pack.

Danny had explained everything to me once I was old enough to ask, pretty much after my first shift. I was one of those unlucky children born without a werewolf spirit. Danny had seen how much my parents loved me before I was even born and knew they would not be able to bear separating with me, so fused our spirits together.

Danny is a Cherokee medicine man. His real name is Danuwoa Waya, or Wolf Warrior, but he promised me to never, ever speak his real name and only refer to him as Danny. He was a shapeshifter, but a wolf being his favored form gave him his name.

When Danny was young he saved a witch from some animals, and she fell in love with him. But he did not love her, and in her anger and humiliation the witch cursed him. She took the very thing he cherished most, his freedom to shapeshift, and cursed him to forever remain as a wolf. If he ever wanted to change forms he would have to kill the animal and wear its skin. But Danny was a kind and caring man who could not bring himself to kill a living being for his own benefit. So for the rest of his life he lived as a wolf, and even in death he could not take human form. For centuries he traveled as an apparition…until he found me.

Because he was originally a conscious being, he remained exactly that after our fusion. As a result, I have a second conscious though he typically remained deep within my subconscious to prevent me from going insane. He only came out when he felt that I was in danger or deep distress. Otherwise, the only time he came forward was when I was in my wolf form. But per the Alpha's orders, I was not allowed to shift. I was okay with that only because my wolf is…different. Noticeably different. I didn't need to be ostracized anymore than I already was.

If the pack saw my wolf form, questions would come up and they would probably demand the Alpha kick me out. They were already a superstitious bunch, and me being an orphan didn't help. They'd probably say I'd bring death and plague to the pack or something equally stupid.

Though to be fair, if I really wanted to and tried hard enough I could probably make someone sick. Another side effect of Danny's presence–I had some of his shamanic abilities. Talking to spirits, visiting the Otherside, and of course enhanced healing abilities. Plus I could throw my spirit into this weird parallel dimension of the world where only spirits could exist, called astral projection–very different from walking on the Otherside. And I could read auras, though it was my least favorite ability. There was an overwhelming amount of evil in this world, easily hidden behind a smiling face and nice gestures. The truly kind ones were few and far between.

But those were just the tip of the huge iceberg that were Danny's abilities. He used to tell me stories of all the things he did when he was alive. Suffice to say, he was not the one to fuck with.

The only people who know about my abilities are the Alpha and the Elders. Danny made me promise to not tell anyone about him. The Alpha just thought my wolf was some sort of freak result of my powers. He and the Elders said I was blessed by the Moon Goddess, who according to Danny lives in the sky with the Sun God and the Morning Star. The Morning Star is the god of the shamans, who gave them their abilities and spoke to the chosen ones.

My parents never knew about my abilities or my wolf, dying before the age of my first shift, and the Alpha kept that a tight secret so none of the pack knew it either. I haven't changed into my wolf form since I was twelve, and I couldn't do so until I mated–whenever that happened–per his orders. Unlike the others, whose wolf spirits would have gone crazy from not taking form, Danny was content with sensing things through me. He had spent enough of his life as a wolf.

He was my best friend, my confidant, my life. I would probably not be alive if it weren't for him.

After receiving some comforting advice from him, I was finally able to muster up the strength to get up and do what Alex demanded. The worst part was going to the bank and withdrawing the money. First I called the Alpha and found out Blake's measurements–receiving a long chew out for waiting so long to get Blake's present–and got an appraisal from a highly reputable clothing store of course. I wasn't taking out anymore than what I absolutely had to.

The woman at the store was very nice and helped me pick out a good suit after telling her Blake's measurements and overall appearance. Blake was a pretty picky guy, so we spent a long while looking over different suit and tie combinations and colors. After a bit of conversation she claimed to like my personality and threw in a gold cufflink set–for a discounted price. I had just enough to cover it all and left the store relatively satisfied. We settled on a navy blue two piece English cut suit with a matching tie and handkerchief that was an interesting dark, almost coppery, gold that matched the buttons and cufflinks.

The receipt was very sobering. All together, the suit set and cufflink set cost just shy of $2000, plus tax. Which is still fairly cheap in the world of luxury suits. And as the son of the Alpha, luxury was the only thing Blake knew.

It wouldn't bother me so much, if it were a gift from me spent with my money instead of having to use my parents' money to appease Alex. But I knew he would not make idle on his threat–if I didn't return with something worthy for him, I knew my life would get much much worse. Most of the pack wouldn't care to stop him, and I couldn't bring myself to tell the Alpha or Blake. The Elders, while deeply respected, essentially had no power so telling them was basically telling the Alpha. And either way, Alex was Beta Apparent. Who was going to punish him, for me?

I couldn't bring myself to return to the pack, and Alex, right away so I drove around town until I found a park and sat on a bench for a couple hours until the sun set, watching the humans do their thing.

They were an interesting bunch, one hundred percent absorbed in their own little world. Despite being in nature and around one another, they sat on their phones. Some people were even walking the track with their heads down, phone in hand. And what was with the whole pet thing? I almost threw up watching some lady reach down with a little bag and scoop her dog's shit, the stupid little mutt staring at her wagging its tail with its tongue sticking out, and she proceeded to talk to it in a baby voice as she tossed the shit bag towards the trash can. And missed.

Then of course they had to walk towards me, and once the little thing caught wind of me, it froze for a long moment before it started yapping wildly. It was yapping so hard it was literally jumping off the ground. The lady of course saw me as a fellow human, and tried to drag the dog away while sending me embarrassed apologetic looks.

That was my cue to leave. I hated little dogs. They were scary as hell, yet would not shut up and would run up to bark in my face just to skitter off if I so much as lifted a finger. Practically begging to get punted across the park. Big dogs usually gave a few warning barks and kept their distance, one eye on me ready to defend their owner if I came too close. I'll give dogs that–they're a pretty loyal bunch. Stupidly so.

Once I was back in pack territory I found a discreet spot in the forest to hide my bike not too far from the community. It was my most prized possession, a gift from the Alpha after finding out I was in the running to graduate as valedictorian at only 17. Pretty sure he only bought it out of guilt for never letting me be in wolf form, doubled as a reward. Because really, who buys a motorcycle for a teenager? I didn't ride it often, out of fear of crashing or getting stopped by the police who wouldn't take well to an unlicensed teen on a motorcycle, but when I did it was by far the best thing in my entire world. Besides Danny of course.

Once I hit the outskirts of the community, I pull out my phone and text Alex. Even though it was getting a little late, thirty till 10, he responded not even a full minute later wanting to meet at our usual spot. I expected as much and was already on the way there.

Our 'usual spot' was my parents house. For some reason, the Alpha requested that no one take residency after my parents death and since then it hasn't been touched by anyone other than Alex and I. Everything was exactly the same as my childhood; someone was maintaining it, keeping it from getting dusty from disuse. I hate being there, reliving those memories and Alex knew that. He loved making my life as difficult as possible and of course felt it necessary to make new memories. In the living room, my parents' room, even on my little kiddie bed.

He took a while to arrive and when he finally did show up, his hair was wet as if he'd taken a shower. There was also a bruise on his cheek that wasn't there before. Probably his father.

Alex lost his parents the same day as me. Except one died and the other got lost in the bottom of a bottle. His father was a hotblooded Warrior injured in battle. With no outlet, full of grief and alcohol, he turned his anger to his son.

A huge smirk spread across Alex's face when he saw the expensive looking box, barely sparing me a glance or a word as he opened it up and inspected the contents.

"Nice job, Robin." His voice was warm, making me shift uncomfortably as an unexpected pleasure rose. I hated his praise, but over time it was like I was conditioned to immediately accept it and desire more of it.

Because of his terrible treatment, and the isolation from the rest of the pack, I was mentally like an Omega. Only difference was, I wasn't being groomed for breeding. Though if Alex could have his way I'm sure he'd turn me into his personal little breed dog, prancing around like the Shit-zu at the park.

"Can I go now?" I ask, squeezing the hell out of my arm to try and hold myself together.

"Why?" He laughs, dropping the box and turning to face me. The smirk had morphed into a carefree smile and I had to look away. Alex was an attractive guy despite his disgusting personality. I didn't know if I was attracted to men, or just made this way because of Alex, but sometimes my body just couldn't help but respond to my attraction to him even if my mind was screaming no.

"I'm tired, Alex." I huff. "I just want to go to sleep."

"Well, you can definitely do that." He gently touched the side of my jaw, turning my head until I was looking at him. His eyes were a soft honey red. "Right after you receive your reward."

Of course. It was stupid of me to think things would be that easy. I figured if I came back late enough, he would be too busy with his girlfriend to be bothered with me. Ugh, he was probably with her before he came here. No wonder he took a shower.

I froze as he leaned down to touch our lips together. Every time, it sent a painful staticky sensation through my body as if his touch was poison. I wanted to run, I wanted to hit him. But he was stronger and faster than me. And I had learned my lesson a while ago to never anger him.

Alex was one of those people who rarely got actually angry, but when he did it was a raging inferno that destroyed any and everything. The abuse I suffered from him was hardly ever a result of him hitting me–no that would leave too many marks, and was little too close to home for Alex. When we were younger it was mostly taunting, verbal bullying, and trying to control everything I did. Being under the Alpha's care meant I was protected in a lot of ways but as the Goddess-chosen Beta Apparent, Alex received a lot of special treatment.

Unlike Alphas, a title that could be passed down, Betas were generally chosen from birth by the Goddess. They were born with a significant birthmark that let the pack know he or she was to be the next Beta. Not every Goddess-chosen Beta was officiated, but that was usually only under extreme circumstances. In many cases Betas were considered more important than the Alpha. Alex was firmly in his position no matter what he did, and even if he got caught he probably wouldn't get anything stronger than a light wrist tap.

As we got older and he realized a lot of his actions were often overlooked, he became bolder and more aggressive. It didn't help that his father became more violent, threatened by the growth of his own son. Alex was a big guy, bigger than Blake and the Alpha. He never hit me, but the name calling grew worse and he even convinced his friends to join in. Blake was never around at these times.

After his 18th birthday, when he didn't feel the pull of his Mate, Alex became…frenzied. That was when the sex began. I was sixteen, nearly seventeen, but never even kissed anybody, let alone explored my sexuality. Not when nobody wanted anything to do with me and Alex was a lurking shadow.

That night was the first of everything for me. I didn't even understand what was happening to me.

After that he would seek me out to do it all the time. Told me it was all I was worth. By then, I was already empty. His words barely hurt me. And by the time I snapped out of it and fully realized what he was doing to me, it was too late.

I was so, so angry that I didn't even think about what I was doing. My rage fueled me when I snuck into his room as he slept and punched him in the face a couple times. Of course my puny muscles hardly did a thing to him but I did catch his nose one good time which woke him up. I didn't even realize the full extent of what I had just done until his confused sleepy eyes locked with mine. My anger disappeared as quickly as it came as I watched the hurt in his eyes bleed into a dark, dark mania. He was on me quicker than I could move, and didn't stop until I was a crying pitiful mess curled up in my own blood. He cried too, sitting next to me, saying sorry over and over again.

For the next week after that, he was uncharacteristically gentle with me. Once or twice I even enjoyed having sex with him, only because it was so different than how he usually was. Never really violent, he just took what he wanted–but during that time he was attentive to my needs instead of just his own.

He never hit me again after that, just rough grabs when he was in a mood. And I did my best to never push him to that point again. It was a bad time for the both of us, one we'll never forget. But it wasn't enough to 180 his attitude towards me.

I was Alex's Omega in everything but genetic title, which was why the only thing I did as he kissed me was close my eyes and force my body to relax. My mind wandered as he pulled me closer, first thinking of my 18th birthday in a few months and the possibility of finding my Mate and gaining freedom from Alex but eventually I drift off into my subconscious and joined Danny before I could feel Alex thrusting his way into me.

"Usti." He smiled warmly and embraced me as I reach him.

'Oosee' is his nickname for me, affectionately calling me little one. We're practically carbon copies of one another, from the top of our heads to our toes, except Danny was a bit taller and bulkier. I thought this was a result of our souls fusing, but Danny said this was his natural appearance and he was shocked as well at our similarities, going on some rant about synchronicities and fate and such.

We chat for a while, a good distraction from the suffering my flesh body was experiencing. But I couldn't stay forever, and before I knew it Danny was telling me that our time was up. As always, he reminded me of the story of the two wolves before he left.

"Remember, Usti," he said seriously, gazing intently at me. "If you only feed one wolf, the other waits for the moment to pounce! Feed them both, and you will win."

I still didn't really get what he meant. I mean, who would choose to feed their bad wolf? But I nod and ignore his disappointed look. Couldn't hide much from someone in my head.

Alex was finishing when I came to and I grimace as my insides suddenly grew hot. I couldn't stop a little noise from slipping out as he pulled out of my now sensitive body, and quickly sat up to push his stuff out of me.

"No wait." He put a hand on my shoulder to stop me from sitting up, his other hand rummaging in his pants pocket. Asshole hadn't even bothered to take his pants all the way off.

"Alex, what are you doing?" I try to sit up when he moved his hand but suddenly my legs were being pulled into the air like I was a baby. "What the fuck?!"

"Relax." He ordered calmly and suddenly something very cold and smooth was sliding into my whole. I wriggle uncomfortably but his big hand easily held my ankles in place.

A feeling of fullness came from my lower half and I sit up on my elbows to glare at Alex as he put my legs down. He gave me a triumphant smirk.

"Don't take it out until I tell you to, okay?"

"What the hell is it?"

"A butt plug." He said it so simply, as if it was the most normal thing in the world to do. "I want my scent to ooze out your little asshole."

My eyes widen. "Why the fuck would you do that?"

His expression went from relaxed to serious in a blink of an eye. "Because I want everyone to know you belong to me."

I bite back a natural response to tell him I didn't belong to him or anyone else. But in his mind, he really did believe he owned me. So I hold it in, opting to simply glare at him. The bastard gave a cute little smirk and leaned forward to drop a peck on my lips, then my forehead.

"Be good okay?"

And with that, he and Blake's gifts were gone. I sit in shock for a moment, wondering what the hell drove him to such madness. Usually he was so careful about keeping this part of our relationship under wraps, yet suddenly he wanted everyone to know?

A few tears drop from my eyes, but I wipe them away and slowly put myself together. By the time I get outside the moon was high in the sky; it was almost midnight. I stand there for a moment with my eyes closed, just letting the moonlight hit me, trying not to think of the consequences of Alex's actions in the light of tomorrow's party. Everyone was going to be there, myself included. Attendance is mandatory.

The next morning I wake up to Alex flipping me over and pulling my pants off. Before I could even process what was happening, my ass is in the air and I groan as a weird sucking sensation came from down there. I felt strangely empty, and things got even stranger as I feel the wetness of Alex's tongue touch my butthole licking up the stuff dribbling out onto my lower half.

And he called me the freak.

When he finished he flipped me back over and proceeded to tongue kiss me deeply, making sure I taste every bit of what he did. The last kiss was a soft–I dare not say loving?–peck to my lips. I hold my breath as he buried his face into the crook of my neck and inhaled deeply, his nose right on my pulse. A satisfied growl reverberated from his body to mine.

"Mine." He lifted his head and glared at me. "You understand? You. Are. Mine."

I shake my head, tears burning my eyes. "I can't be yours, Alex, you know that. My eighteenth birthday is in a few months. What are you going to do if I find my Mate?"

"You won't." He whispered, denial pure in his eyes. "You can't."

"Why must you torture me?" I said just as quietly as my tears began to spill from my eyes.

He didn't respond, sighing as he closed his eyes to my pain. I continue to cry, burdened by his weight and my own helplessness. He hated seeing me cry, yet couldn't stop himself from causing my pain.

There was a time when I didn't cry so much, a mixture of numbness and not wanting to give Alex the satisfaction of seeing my pain. But overtime I grew more and more tired of keeping it together 24/7 and being numb just didn't work anymore. The little bit of hope I had in finding my Mate in a few months was the only thing keeping me going, really.

Eventually Alex opened his eyes and looked down at me with an expression so gentle it took my breath away. He wiped away my tears with his thumb, and even wiped the snot with his sleeve.

"Stop crying, Robin." It was said softly, but still a command. "Get showered and dressed. Today is a big day. For everybody."

And then he was gone. He was always doing that, confusing me with his random acts of care and then up and leaving me all alone. I couldn't tell if it was intentional or not.

I slowly crawl out of bed and make my way to the bathroom. The remainder of Alex's stuff slid uncomfortably down my legs. I didn't even bother to look at myself in the mirror as I turn on the shower and wait for the water to heat up. I was a miserable mess and didn't need to make myself more miserable by looking at my reflection.

Half an hour later I was out, my skin scrubbed raw red, and getting dressed when there was a knock at my door. A surge of panic went through me. I knew I still smelled like Alex even after the shower. What he did was similar to knotting; getting rid of his scent would take days. I sprayed a fuck ton of cologne though, so I swallow down my fear and invite whoever it was inside.

And of course, it was the Alpha. Excitement of the day was clear on his face, his dark green eyes sparkling and a wide smile splitting his face in two. I hold in my growing panic and nod to him.

"Alpha Elijah, sir."

"Oh none of that, Robin," he admonished as he pulled me into a hug. "You're not some Omega! You're practically my own son, in everything but blood."

I look away, wishing desperately it was true. Maybe if it were, I wouldn't be so helpless. Or at least not treated so unkindly.

The Alpha, however, hardly noticed my inner turmoil as he was sniffing the air around me. I was embarrassed enough already, but it grew into mortification as he slowly turned and elbowed me with a small knowing smirk.

"Had some fun last night? My Goddess, Robin, I didn't know you had it in you." He chuckled with a wink. I could feel the blood draining from my face. "Nice cover up. If I weren't Alpha I wouldn't be able to tell without uh…putting my nose all in your business, you catching what I'm throwing?"

"Sir–"

"No, no." He waved me off. "You don't have to explain anything to me, Robin. You're a healthy young man. And Goddess knows I've had my fair share of fun before my eighteenth."

His brow furrowed and he looked at me with some sort of reminiscent smile on his face.

"Um, Alpha?" I call after an awkward beat of silence.

He shook his head like he was coming out of a daze. "Ah, sorry. Anybody ever tell you that you look like your mother? No? Well anyways–ahem–as you know today is Blake's birthday. We already have everything, but I was hoping you wouldn't mind taking lead on set up?

Take lead? I was already planning on helping out, but that and telling everyone what to do were to totally different things. But I couldn't just say no to the Alpha, so I mustered up a smile.

"Sure thing. No problem."

He cheered and patted my shoulder. "Thank you, Robin. I truly appreciate this. I'll keep Blake away for the time being. I know you'll do great."

Oh yes, even more pressure. Great.

I fucking hate my life so much.