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The Real Draco

Draco Malfoy wants to live a different life after the war. Transitioning to a witch before returning to Hogwarts is the first step she chooses to take. Can she succeed with the rest? Warning: this fanfiction centers around a trans Draco Malfoy (she/her), with an eventual Drarry pairing later on. If that isn't for you, please do not read it.

2Cool4School · Bücher und Literatur
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18 Chs

Chapter 9

Draco knew she messed up when she got to the Great Hall on Monday, and Harry was already there eating breakfast before anyone else, and when she sat next to him, he didn't welcome her with his usual smile, and avoided eye contact.

"I'm sorry," Draco said.

"Don't apologize," Harry sounded more defeated than forgiving. "I think I understand."

"No, I am," Draco repeated. "I did exactly what I promised I wouldn't. I ran."

"It's not that!" Harry said a bit firmly, before catching himself. "I just realized I can't be two different people simultaneously, and it's killing me."

"What do you mean?" Draco asked.

"I guessed that you needed time and wanted to respect that," Harry said. "But I was also out of my mind, worried that something might happen to you, and I wouldn't even know. So I spent the whole day yesterday monitoring you on the map."

"That's fine," Draco said. "Maybe I don't like being watched, but I can't be mad at you if you want to keep me safe."

"I almost broke into your dorm too, with wand blazing," Harry said. "When I saw you were in the Common Room with a bunch of Slytherins. I thought they were going to attack you, and I know the password, so…"

"For the record, that was my doing, and nobody attacked me," Draco said.

"What were you doing?"

"I marched to the Common Room as only a lion would, and told all the students present that if anybody had a problem with me, then they should tell me right there and then," Draco sighed.

Harry only looked more worried hearing that, so she added.

"For the record, they were so shocked that it went surprisingly well," Draco said.

"Meaning?" Harry asked.

"Hm, maybe meaning that I can be still just enough of a Slytherin that if I played my cards right from now on, I might have a few allies," Draco said. "For a price."

"Draco…" Harry didn't exactly say he disapproved, but he didn't have to.

"I'm not talking about paying them off. Or making threats or anything illegal. That's just one type of Slytherin tactic," Draco said.

"Is it, though?" Harry asked in a sarcastic tone.

"My mom was a snake too," Draco tried to not feel offended. "And she doesn't have to resort to any of these things to be cunning enough to get what she wants."

"You're right," Harry said, seemingly deep in thought. "So what's the problem?"

Draco didn't say there was one, but Harry knew, so she shrugged.

"A few people seemed to indicate I'm not a complete disgrace to the House, and agree that we have to try to do something - anything - to try to get along better with the other students—"

"Oh, the HORROR," Harry narrated.

"So they want to strategize to earn back some of the respect we've lost and—"

"The new Slytherin motto, 'killing with kindness'," Harry added, and Draco supposed that wasn't far off.

"Can you just let me finish a sentence?" Draco said, but she could only smile at Harry's antics. "They want my advice, if not to directly tell them what to do."

"Oh. So why don't you?" Harry asked.

"Have you ever heard of the blind leading the blind?" Draco noticed how her voice slipped higher so she took a deep breath. "Even if I wanted that responsibility... In case you haven't noticed, my peace offerings aren't always going so well, so how am I supposed to tell others what they should do?"

Harry was looking at her intently, but now he didn't speak.

"What?"

"I think it's the first time I get why Hermione keeps trying to push me to do the DADA club. Again," Harry sighed. "Someone has to do it, or everyone misses out."

"Yes, but that's different. You're almost competent in DADA," Draco said, making him laugh.

"Well, at least a handful of Slytherins think you're the same in whatever evil plans they might concoct."

"Or maybe they just think since they saw you with me, my influence isn't a bad thing to have," Draco would be willfully ignorant if she didn't consider the possibility. "And even if they were genuine, I… can't."

"Don't do it then," Harry went back to his breakfast, letting it go too easily until he added. "Join the DADA club with me instead."

"I thought you weren't going to do it," Draco eyed him with suspicion.

"I believe I just decided I will. Twice a week, and you have to be there to support me."

"Uh-huh."

"No, I'm kidding," Harry said. "You have to be there because if you're going to do reckless things only a Gryffindor would, I want you to be able to defend yourself."

"And here I thought I could," Draco reminded him.

"Or at least send me a message if something's wrong, even when we aren't talking," Harry's face was dead-serious this time.

"With a corporeal Patronus, you mean," Draco realized.

"That happens to be one of the spells I can 'almost pull off competently'," Harry nodded.

"Yeah, and therefore it would be twice as humiliating for me to get it wrong in front of all your friends."

"You can also invite all of your new Slytherin friends," Harry shrugged. "So you wouldn't be humiliated alone."

It was clear then why Harry said he'd do the club. He wanted to help Draco, solving her problems for her.

"Stop," Draco told him. "I've just said some if not all of them would love to get close to you, and you want to teach them how to fight, in front of a bunch of lions?"

"It's a spell to defend, not to attack," Harry said. "And it's so personal that if some snakes get it right, they might just look a little bit more human to the rest of the houses."

"I don't like it."

"All the better, then," Harry jokingly said.

"Fine, but if it's a disaster, just know that I won't have anywhere to sleep for the rest of the year, so I'm taking over your bed indefinitely."

"DON'T tempt me," Harry threw his head back dramatically, making Draco discreetly laugh.

"About that. Maybe we could go on a date," Draco suggested.

"Yes," Harry agreed. "But you were right, and I'm behind on a couple of subjects at the moment, and McGonagall told me on no uncertain terms that she won't let me go to Hogsmeade in the foreseeable future until that changes, even if she knows I could sneak out anytime. What?"

"There's a study group I just got invited to yesterday," Draco said.

"You mean with the Slytherins you mentioned."

"If you want to befriend them anyway, I don't see how some extra lessons for you could hurt."

"As long as it's not Hermione running it."

"No, it's me," Draco sighed.

"Don't say you're doing it only because of me," Harry's expression dropped.

"Why, because you're allowed to start a club to help me, and I'm not?" Draco pointed out. "But don't worry. It's also something that came up yesterday. Most of the Profs this year ignore Slytherin students, and while it could be certainly worse, it's not good either. I've already used a Doubling Charm on my summarized notes and distributed it to them, so you're actually already behind."

"Slytherin tactics 2.0," Harry muttered when a bunch of notes showed up in front of him. "Giving notes away for free."

"You can always kiss me as a thank you," Draco said before she realized she was going to say it.

"Oh?"

"Doesn't mean you have to," Draco quickly said, but Harry did anyway.

And, for the record, nobody tried to curse either of them when Draco showed up for the tutoring with none other than the infamous Harry Potter, the other 6 students either accepted that Harry was going to join them, or were Slytherins enough to not show their disagreement until a more opportune moment, so it went relatively well.

"You were great," Harry told her later.

"Flattery, now," Draco said. "And you're the one who accused me of Slytherin tactics this morning?"

"Just don't quiz me about anything, I think I was staring at you for half of it," Harry said, making her laugh.

"I noticed," Draco tried not to blush but failed miserably. "And I've also come up with a plan to save our dates before the school year ends."

"I thought this was it?" Harry asked.

"Yes, but also no," Draco said, and she pointed at a page. "Read 5 points, and summarise them for me?"

And when Harry did, she also levitated the notes into the air.

"Now, another five," and she might have been moving the note just a little while Harry read it.

"What did you do?" Harry asked her when it was clear that he did better on the second try both by remembering the details and making connections to other parts of the material.

"It's a simple thing, really," Draco explained. "You seem to concentrate better when you aren't forced to sit still, in a highly controlled manner, glued to a desk, like in most classes. Maybe another reason why you're so good at Quidditch, or DADA."

"No, that can't be."

"You want to try again?" Draco was confident.

"I mean, you just admitted I was good at something," Harry said. "And if your theory is true, I can just read the books while walking or something."

"Before you promptly manage to kill yourself that way," Draco warned. "Let me just say that I can also teach you to charm the text to speak out loud. And maybe you could also listen to Hermione on your feet when she's desperately trying to help you learn something."

"Or you," Harry said.

"I thought you just said study club was a bust because you can't pay attention if it's me," Draco said. "So I'm afraid my work here is over…"

She knew Harry was going to kiss her, and it was an unexpected relief when he did, and this time there wasn't even Pince there to stop them. In fact, maybe she didn't want to stop even when Harry pulled away.

"We're going to miss dinner."

"Worse things have happened," Draco said and she meant it too.

"Yes, but I don't know how much longer can I keep this up without trying to undress you next," Harry said, and he only brushed his fingers lightly on Draco's waist, where her blouse came undone from her skirt. But it felt like Draco's skin was on fire where he made contact, suddenly coming alive under his touch.

"Maybe… that's fine too?" she felt like nothing mattered, when Harry stood there so close, and she could feel his heartbeat under her fingers, where her palm was on his chest.

"If we're going to do it, I want to do it right," Harry said.

"Meaning?" Draco wondered.

"In a bed. Not rushed. Where Peeves might not just float in on us any second. Maybe after a couple of spectacular dates," Harry listed, while he also took a step back.

"You think I'd run again," Draco realized.

"No," Harry said, but then he shook his head. "Yes. No. Well… maybe."

"But I want you," Draco couldn't believe she could tell him without adding some insult or using sarcasm to cover her real feelings, but the more she thought about it, the more she got convinced she shouldn't have run away from Harry. She should have run to him.

"You're killing me, Draco," Harry said, turning completely away.

"I'm sorry, just… I might be wrong, but if you thought I disappeared because you somehow weren't enough to make me happy, I have to tell you that you already did, and that…"

"Freaked you out?" Harry reached out for her.

"That isn't something I'm used to," Draco finished. When she saw how Harry's mood and confidence sank in the morning, because of her, she wanted to tell him the truth, but also couldn't yet. Not until then.

"Neither am I," Harry said, kissing her a bit differently before they went to have some food in the Great Hall, and Draco asked him only after they were done.

"Spend the night in my room. Like that."

"Draco…" Harry no doubt became the voice of reason, trying to object, but when Draco kissed him, he couldn't. "Are you sure?"

And the next thing Draco knew was how they were both in her bed and she only stopped Harry shortly when he started to unbutton her shirt.

"You want me to stop?" Harry misunderstood.

"No, just… I still have the scars from when you…"

"Cursed you. Badly," Harry frowned, and pulled away, as if ready to leave, so Draco somehow ended up sitting on him.

"I barely remember they're there anymore. Really," Draco said. "Just don't…"

"Make a big deal about it?" Harry asked.

"Dare to stop… because of it?" Draco suggested. And when she kissed Harry, he carefully undressed her and only ran his fingers on the white lines first, but he didn't stop, and soon they were both naked.

Harry was so attentive to what she wanted all along that he could make every part of Draco sing. It was so different when Draco didn't have to hide her body anymore, but she could fill it with so much pleasure that it even surprised her a little.

"Are you… okay?" Harry also seemed different and not just because his tussled hair fit him more, but as if he was still dazed, even after they were done.

"I'm great. Are you?" Draco asked with a small smile.

"Yeah," Harry kissed her. "Just please tell me we can do this again, sometime."

"Oh, you're moving in," Draco announced.

"Am I?" Harry asked.

"Unless you don't want to?" Draco wanted to state, but it turned out more of a question, and the more she tried to look confident, the easier Harry seemed to read her doubts.

"I do. Just in my experience, this is the moment when everything turns for the worst," Harry admitted.

"Maybe," Draco saw her own fears mirrored in him for a moment. "But maybe even the worst is better if we're together."

She was talking nonsense like some of the heroines in Pansy's books that were written for witches, but she also wasn't.

"Who are you and what have you done with Draco?" Harry asked, teasing.

"You know what?" Draco was about to answer just as snarkily, but then, she couldn't do it, while she was still naked under the sheets with Harry. "You might just... Actually, nothing."

"Tell me, or I'll make you tell me," Harry wasn't going to let it go, using very underhanded tactics to make her talk.

"Fine! You broke me with your magical penis, is that what you wanted to hear?" Draco gave in in the end.

"Wait, I think people on the upper levels of the castle haven't heard it just yet, yell a bit louder," Harry encouraged her, but he only got a pillow in his face next.