Lan Jing Forest (4)

Kou was reminded of the job everytime the world swirled into a different scene.

He didn't have that much knowledge about Tan Sect and the Lan Jing forest, but didn't the letter mention that it was supposed to be a sacred forest? That it held the spirits of the ancestors for a long time.

The setting of the scene in which Jiajia lived didn't look like it happened too long ago. Moreover, none of the people were affiliated with the Tan Clan. The closest one would probably be Xu Ming, which Kou assumed was a disciple of Tan Academy.

Since the incident of students falling ill just happened not too long ago, then the spirits must have died just as recent. They were the ones glowing darker than others. These kinds of spirits were known to be 'resentful'.

However, resentful spirits don't usually affect mages this way. Drawing too much spiritual energy may cause sickness, but not to the point of insanity. Other than that, resentful spirits usually attack regular people that are more vulnerable to dark energy.

Could it be a curse?

As he thought about it, the warping of reality was completed.

Jiajia was cleaning some robes by the river with Meimei by her side. Once in a while, Meimei would help, but she wasn't allowed to bend her back for too long.

She could only accompany her sister and have a chat.

Meimei asked, "So, you can have a day off every two weeks from now on, right?"

Jiajia answered, "I guess so. We have enough in our savings for me to do that. I might be able to cut off my work on night shifts as well."

"That's great! I'd prefer it if you don't take the night shifts. You've done enough during the day."

"Also, I can probably quit my night job in a few months."

"You should do that! Then maybe I can find a job. Something like calligraphy… or crafting."

Jiajia paused her washing and looked at her sister.

"You don't have to," she said.

"But I want to!" Meimei replied.

Jiajia stared into her sister's eyes. They were filled with determination.

It wasn't that Meimei was being unreasonable, she just wanted to share her sister's burden.

In any case, Meimei has been doing better recently, and she has been getting sick less and less. She probably thought she could do more by now.

Jiajia was trying to find a way to reason with her, but in the end, Meimei would know her own body best.

"Well… okay," was all that Jiajia could say.

She went back to her activity. Scrubbing the fabric and squeezing out the excess water. Each garment was put in a basket to be dried off later.

Meimei watched intently without being able to help. The two sisters were quiet for a long while.

The younger one broke the silence first. 

"Jiajia…"

As if she was in deep thought, her voice trailed off.

Jiajia replied, "Yeah?"

Meimei didn't respond right away.

Kou wasn't sure if Jiajia noticed, but he felt that Meimei's tone of voice lost her cheerfulness.

After a short while, Meimei finally started to talk.

"Do you… Erm… I think you should spend your days off with Xu Ming-gege."

Kou felt a tiny stab pain in his chest. It was what Jiajia was feeling, but he was aware that no matter how much it stung, Jiajia's arms did not stop their movements. She was still scrubbing and scrubbing.

Jiajia feigned ignorance.

"What are you talking about? Why should I spend time with gege?"

"Jiajia, you… All this time, I knew about your feelings. I've just been denying it… No, I've just thought you might get over it after some time. But…"

Those words stopped Jiajia's movements.

It was obvious for both of them that the other loved the same person. However, since it was too awkward to bring up, none of them ever mentioned it.

Meimei explained, "When we went to the festival in town and I saw you two talking, I've never seen you so happy. I… saw the way your eyes gleamed when he laughed. How you giggled like a very silly girl, even though you always seem so smart and serious. You were… different. There was a different glow to you than how you used to look whenever you come home from work. I can tell."

Jiajia listened as her heartbeat kept getting stronger.

You didn't even know, huh? You thought you could keep those feelings to yourself without your sister knowing.

"You should go after him, Jiajia," Meimei concluded.

Jiajia let out a nervous laugh.

"That's nice, Meimei. But it's alright."

"You know, it wouldn't hurt to at least try."

Quite ironic, to think that the end of this story would result in Jiajia leaving behind her resentments in her spiritual remains.

Kou could only watch helplessly.

This will not end well…

Jiajia replied, "It's no use…"

"How do you know?"

"Because, the same way you could tell that I looked different when I'm with him, I can tell that he looked different… when he thought I was you."

"..."

And there it was again. A surge of an extremely unpleasant feeling loomed inside of Kou. It was somewhere between guilt and regret.

Jiajia knew saying it out loud would hurt, and she knew it would put Meimei in an uncomfortable position. But the words were said and it was true. Jiajia thought Meimei should have already known. How could she not notice?

But Meimei said, "...That's not true, Jiajia."

And she sounded rather certain.

"Gege only seemed that way because he had spent more time with me. It's just that he's just more comfortable and familiar."

"Then it's still no use, right? What if he feels awkward if I hang out with him? Or what if he asks to see you instead? In the end, no matter what, you will always be closer to Ming-gege than I ever will…"

Jiajia was a confident person. Kou could tell by the way she handled things and her smart mind.

However, she was always nervous when it came to Xu Ming. And the fact that she was overshadowed by her own sister in front of him.

Jiajia didn't mind that. Because for all her life, she thought she had overshadowed Meimei for too long.

The least she could do was to let her sister step to the front this once. She just never thought how dark it would be.

Jiajia was done with the laundry and packed up to go home.

As she walked, Meimei followed from behind.

She thought the matter was over, until Meimei spoke up again.

"Jiajia, I have a crazy idea…" she said.

Jiajia stopped and turned around. Meimei was avoiding her gaze.

She continued hesitantly, "What do you think… If you go… as me?"

Kou felt his eyebrows creasing because Jiajia was frowning. She was confused by this unexpected suggestion.

Before Jiajia could say anything, Meimei started to ramble.

"Hear me out. If you keep doing this, eventually you will have to reveal yourself. But by then, Gege should already be comfortable with you because you've spent time together. And if he asks, you can just say that you didn't have the heart to tell him that he mistook you for me."

Jiajia blinked.

"Meimei, that's a horrible idea."

At this point, she found it hilarious instead and was holding back a smile. 

Meimei said, "I know! But it'll give you a chance. Who knows? Maybe he likes your version of 'Meimei' better than mine. I mean, if you think about it, he couldn't even tell us apart! I know that we're twins, but after all this time, he didn't even know that I wasn't even myself?"

"Maybe Gege just didn't consider it since he didn't know that I had a day off."

"Jiajia, If Gege and I are as close as you think we are, then he should've noticed that something was off."

Jiajia went silent.

The argument kind of made sense.

At first glance, people would say that Jiajia and Meimei are identical. But that wasn't the case for both of them.

If anyone looked closely, the shape of their eyes were different. Jiajia had thicker eyebrows and Meimei had fuller lips. They always did their hair differently. It was subtle, but if anyone tried, it wasn't hard to tell them apart.

For someone like Xu Ming, who spent a long time with Meimei, wouldn't he recognize her features? Shouldn't he figure out what was unfamiliar about Jiajia when he mistook her? 

Deep in her heart, Jiajia had a dangerous thought.

Maybe Xu Ming didn't like Meimei that much.

Jiajia was 99% sure that 'thought' was wrong.

But for some reason, she couldn't let go of that tiny possibility. Even if it was just 1%. Even if it was less than that.

The only thing stopping her now would be…

"But Meimei…"

"Yeah?"

"I know that you have feelings for Ming-gege too."

The same way that Jiajia was different when she's with Xu Ming, and the same way that Xu Ming was different when he's with Meimei.

Jiajia always felt that Meimei was different when she's with Xu Ming.

Meimei's life was always limited by her health. Couldn't she have this one thing? Jiajia wasn't selfish enough to turn a blind eye to her sister's feelings.

Aware of Jiajia's sentiments, Meimei said, "I'm not going to lie. I like Gege."

Just as expected. And it was enough.

It was enough for Jiajia to bury her feelings back. She could keep it all in for her sister.

But Meimei's next words were unexpected.

"It's not fair."

Jiajia agreed, but it seemed that the sister's view of what's not fair was different.

When she looked at Meimei's eyes, there was sympathy and a hint of anger.

But for who?

"Why do I get to play around more? Why do I get to go to town all the time and make friends? Why do I get to spend more time with Gege?"

Jiajia was dumbfounded. She felt that the questions were wrong.

Because why can't Meimei do so many things she wanted to do? Why can't she have the same chance as Jiajia in life? Why did she have to worry about her health all the time?

Meimei wasn't done.

"Why do you have to be one to bury your feelings? Why do you have to grow up faster? Why do you have to go to the farm everyday and work at night?"

And again, those weren't the questions she should be asking.

Jiajia felt that she had had everything, so she wasn't going to throw a tantrum for having to grow up and start taking responsibility. She had expected it.

Meimei's face had turned into a frown.

"Jiajia, why do I get to be free and you don't?"

Both of them were silent.

Jiajia wasn't sure how to answer.

It was weird.

Because Jiajia had the same question for Meimei. To Jiajia, she had freedom all this time while Meimei didn't.

Of course when it came to work, Jiajia complained every now and then.

But when she came home and saw her sister having been ill for days, or when she thought about how her sister couldn't travel too far nor do any heavy activities, she couldn't complain again.

Suddenly she was fine. All that hard work was nothing compared to what her sister had to go through.

It wasn't fair.

And that was exactly how her sister felt about her, too.

Meimei said, "It's not fair, so please do it. We'll see how it goes and we can stop anytime."

And reality warped again. Scenes flashed one after the other.

In Jiajia's body, Kou relived day after day where she pretended to be Meimei and spent time with Xu Ming. Each day, strong contradicting feelings grow inside of Jiajia. Kou felt his stomach was filled by butterflies and flesh-eating worms at the same time, his chest felt numb with euphoria and guilt.

Why did she agree to this? Why did she keep doing it? How many days has it been?

So far, nothing gave the slightest hint of what happened. There was still no explanation for Jiajia's resentments and why her body was in the forest.

Was it even resentment at all? Perhaps it was just her guilt. But then, regretful spirits wouldn't cause harm as far as sickness and death to those who draw power on them. It had to be anger.

Kou was racking his brains.

The memories showed only two major persons that Jiajia was attached to. She devoted two different emotions to each of them. She yearned for Xu Ming, but she felt guilty about Meimei. And inarguably, she loved them both.

Assuming it was one after the other, there was a possibility that this continued for too long, resulting in Meimei becoming jealous. Meimei couldn't have killed her own sister right?

No, that's not possible. Based on her guilt, Jiajia wouldn't resent her sister for being jealous. If Meimei had killed Jiajia, she would have carried regret to her grave, not resentment.

Then, did something happen to Meimei? Did Xu Ming find out the truth and get angry? Could he have killed Jiajia over that? Why would he bury her in Lan Jing Forest? To hide her corpse from Meimei? Where would the Tan Clan fit in that scenario?

Also, Jiajia wasn't the only one that died. There were several dark spirits floating around in that forest. They must have been related to this story somehow.

Kou thought of a wild guess, which is that the Tan Clan was Xu Ming's backing in his rage towards Jiajia and everyone else that knew of the twin's scheme. However, there was too big of a gap in that conclusion.

Why would a big, prestigious clan care about such trifling affairs? How did Xu Ming convince them to kill so many people? Why would Xu Ming go as far as killing anyone other than Jiajia? Moreover, based on what Kou had seen, Xu Ming did not seem like a golden disciple. The Tan Clan wouldn't just humor him for being lied to by the sister of a girl he liked.

The flashing scenes passed by and warped into a stable reality again.

Jiajia was hanging out with Xu Ming while pretending to be Meimei again. But this time, Xu Ming was taking her to the Tan residence.