Changes

It was a dreary summer night. The windows in the houses were latched shut to keep out the chill despite the humidity within. It was the kind of temperature that made you want to strip away your nightclothes from the sweat but stay bundled under your covers for warmth.

Elizabeth Girard hated this kind of weather. It gave you heat flashes while also making your toes cold when covered. As she tucked her youngest sister to bed, the second oldest made complaints while airing out her gown.

"Eliza, can you please open the window. Just a crack will do." Georgia pouted and her wildly curly hair had gone frizzy from the humidity.

"What will I do if you both catch a cold from the chill?" Eliza picked up a brush and tried to tame her sister's hair. It seemed to only make it worse the more she brushed it. Georgia winced from the pain and shooed her away.

"Leave it, Susan can take care of it in the morning."

She teased her, "Hmm I pity her you know?"

Eliza kissed her youngest sister's foreheads and extinguished the torches before bidding them goodnight. Afterward, she retired to her room and changed as well. Pulling out her favorite book, she read of the adventures of a girl who was close in age and shared her name. It was a romantic story that gave you butterflies and you dreamt of your own Mr. Darcy. A misunderstood, brooding, unexpected romantic who pursued you despite old grudges.

On second thought, that sounded like a tiresome relationship to even bother with, she thought.

After several yawns, Eliza decided it best to try to get some actual rest tonight. The past few days she's been restless and unable to fall right to sleep like she used to. Her stomach felt tight with knots and her thighs felt itchy. It wasn't painful though. More like... an emptiness? Longing?

The feelings were unknown for the longest time until she confided with her friend Marnie over tea.

(Previously)

"Hehe, you're so silly. Do you truly not know what those feelings are?" While sipping her tea, Marnie's eyes looked over the porcelain cup at her friend with a teasing stare.

"I am truly at a loss. If I've never had them before, how would I know what they are?" Eliza sighed and cupped her cheek, perplexed.

Marnie hummed and went over the symptoms once more, "You say these feelings only come at night, and it feels like your stomach aches and your ahem, private area tickles?"

"Yes! Honestly, must I continue to repeat it? You're giving me a headache." Eliza heaved a dramatic sigh.

Marnie giggled and held her friend's hand with pity, "Sweetie, these feelings, I too get them." Eliza perked up. "Although not every day, when my husband holds me tight during the night and his hands start to roam. That is usually the moment before we... well before we make love."

"..."

"Do you know what I'm trying to say?"

After a moment of mulling over her words, Eliza's face bloomed red and she covered her mouth in shock.

"That's not possible... it's not like I've ever imagined do-doing something like that with a man. It just happens... out of nowhere!"

Marnie patted the back of Eliza's hand and nodded, "It is perfectly normal to experience this. From what I can tell, you shouldn't continue to fight those feelings. Next time it happens, just try listening to what your body wants."

"But... to do it by myself. Isn't that vulgar?" Eliza's heart was beating rapidly, and she felt like escaping to hide somewhere from her shame.

Marnie seemed to be surprised, "My word you're turning 21 this year and you have not tried it before? If you continue to hold back like this, you may end up acting indecently in public. Or worse, allow any man to satisfy you for a night."

"I-I would never."

"Just trust me, dear, you'll feel much better after."

(Presently)

After receiving advice like that, Eliza gulped and stripped away from her nightgown and found herself covered in sweat. She first made sure her door was latched and locked, and despite her better judgment, she cracked open her window for airflow.

"So, I just follow my instincts?" She reached down and touched the place that throbbed the most. She pulled back when it made her body jolt and her thighs clenched shut.

"How strange." She didn't know why, but it wasn't a painful kind of feeling. It felt good even. She tried to experiment with the way she touched and found a few things that made her let out strange sounds from her throat. She continued like this until she could finally fall asleep.

The next day, she was distracted by remembering those odd feelings and couldn't understand what she was doing wrong. Although it felt good, there was something that made her feel unsatisfied.

That night, she tried again and felt closer to that missing feeling but still gave up after frustration. During the following day, it was overcast and gloomy, making her even moodier. She didn't want to embarrass herself by asking Marnie for more advice and decided to turn to her only other resource: books.

Pulling on a cloak over her coat, she hung the hood to be over her head to cover her hair and it cast a shadow over her face. She arrived at the bookstore and scoured the shelves for a specific section. There was a book popular among the ladies and she had caught the title by chance during tea parties. When she found the book, she read over the summary to confirm its contents.

Sheepishly, she approached the register and was relieved to see it was the shop owner's wife on duty this evening. She didn't question her or try to discern Eliza's identity under that dark cloak either, which she was grateful for.

After Eliza hurried home, she ate her dinner quickly and retired to her room saying she felt unwell. Immediately, she opened the book and skimmed the words until she found what she was looking for. There were a couple of diagrams of genitalia that had her blushing but like a dedicated scholar, she read that book until sunset and through a good portion of the night until she finished the sections that were written with salacious details.

Her heart was fluttering by the end and she finally understood just what she was doing wrong. Before continuing any further, she first checked on her sisters who had put themselves to bed. Hearing the chorus of snores from behind the doors, she scurried back to her own room and stripped off her clothes in excitement.

The night was as stuffy as that night a few days prior, so she cracked the window to allow cool air to filter through.

This time, she didn't immediately start with touching her throbbing skin, and instead rubbed her breasts that had become pointed from the draft. Pinching her pink bud, she felt the slightest tremor travel down her spine and made her bite her lower lip. From that point, she avidly followed the directions of the book and focused on the sensations that made her feel best.

When it finally came to rubbing the moist skin between her legs, the sunlight filtered into her room and she halted.

"Ah, it seems I took too long doing the first step." She sighed in defeat and pulled on her nightie to try to get at least a couple of hours of sleep.

...

That day, she was especially irritable and wasn't in the mood to go into town. However, after assessing the bare pantry in the kitchen, she huffed and brought along her maid Susan for the trip to the Farmer's Market. It was a biweekly event that took place on Saturdays and was where she had the displeasure of seeing the faces of certain people. She had been receiving letters from acquaintances during the week but told her butler to refuse them all due to her "poor health" at the moment.

Of course, certain ladies caught her and secretly called her bluff after seeing her rosy cheeks and a seemingly clean bill of health. It was bothersome trying to shake everyone off and decided to apologize through an invitation to a tea party at her home at the end of the month.

After finally gathering the groceries she needed, Susan assisted in shooing people away with insincere apologies. While rushing out of the town square, Eliza ran face-first into a black statue.

The "statue" turned around and she blushed, realizing it was in fact a tall man with a rigid stance. He had a long black coat and top hat that cast his face in a shadow. Having lost her footing in the moment, he held her forearm with one hand and rested his other across her back. The heat of his palms seemed to trickle through her clothes and brand her skin with a perfect handprint.

Meanwhile, Eliza had found her arms awkwardly wrapped around the man's torso. It was easy to feel the muscles tense under her fingertips and her mind wandered towards dangerous territory; of which included her being whisked away and making love as passionately as described in the book.

"Are you alright, Miss?" He spoke with a low drawl that sounded alluring in its own way. That inappropriate thought caused her mind to falter for a moment while she tried to seem inconspicuous. Especially as her imagination ran wild, so she ripped herself from their awkward embrace.

She didn't feel able to make a proper introduction at the moment and half-heartedly curtsied, "My apologies Sir, I was not looking properly."

He didn't say anything, and she felt him staring at her intensely. He then reached for her hand and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it.

She looked back at him, surprised, and caught the glint of his dark eyes and the slightest quirk of a smile. She felt his breath blow across her knuckles and her hand started to heat up.

She pulled away after a moment of not letting her go and decided to feign ignorance regarding formalities when meeting a stranger. She nodded to him as a goodbye and brushed past him on her way. For as long as the town square was in sight, she felt like eyes were staring at her nape with unwavering fierceness.

Once they finally made it home, Eliza's dress felt stuffy and she went upstairs to change into something lighter. It seems like this encounter was going to lead to yet another restless night. But she couldn't help but smirk to herself as she bit the tip of her thumb while thinking about a new fantasy to fixate on for the rest of the day.