‘The dopamine’

“Why are you interested in me?” I finally asked her which was going in my mind. I was still trying to move my attention from the touch of her cold hand.

“I like you,” she replied. The way she was speaking with her husky voice firing up something within me

“Since how long do you like me?” I needed quite some nerves to ask that question, but I succeeded somehow.

“Does that really matter? Isn’t it more important that I like you, and you have drawn my attention?” she asked. She started playing with my fingers. I couldn’t understand what exactly her motive was because I still was not able to admit that she could have any interest in me.

“Did you know my mom was not home?” I asked because she came inside my house without hesitation as if she knew I would be alone.

“Yes, because your mom went to that function along with my mom, and I know they are not coming till evening. So, we have more than enough time to spend with each other,” she replied while bringing a smile to her face. That same mischievous look came back on her face; that same glimmer was visible in her eyes too. I wanted to get up and run away, but I felt like she had drained out all my energy, and I was falling weak in front of her, but at the same time, I was also feeling pleasure in her presence. Those both types of sentiments coming at the same time were making my brain foggy.

“What do you want, Sneha?” I asked her to get some clearness.

“I want you,” she replied, and it was like she dropped a bombshell on me. I started blushing, though unintentionally. I guess an enormous quantity of dopamine was released in my brain, which made me do so.

“I can’t understand why you would have even a slight curiosity in me. You can have any guy you like, then why is it me?” I asked while still being in confusion.

“Because you are unlike any other guy, at least for me,” she replied.

“I still can’t get you,” I said in mystification.

“Even though we haven’t talked, still I know about you, but on the other hand, I am sure you know nothing about me because you never paid any attention to me, and that was the thing which always made me attracted to you. You know how the opposite energies work; when you pay attention to someone, that person stops thinking about you, and when you start ignoring that person, he tries hard to come closer to you and so on. I guess the same has happened with me too,” she explained why she liked me. That was quite an honest answer which she had given, and I liked it. But that same question was still in my mind, what she exactly wanted from me.

“Okay, I got you, but you could also tell me that on text, couldn’t you?” I asked.

“Yes, I could, but as you haven’t replied to me since yesterday, so I was left with no other choice but to visit you personally,” she replied. She was showing quiet desperation, and it was for me; that was something I could not expect from her. Two girls came into my life, and in the span of only a few days, it was something unusual. I couldn't understand how to handle that situation. After all, I was entirely naive in that field.

“Okay, now what?” I asked as I didn’t know what else to say.

“You wanted to know about me,” she replied. I didn’t want to know anything about her; I just wanted that thing to get ended, which was making me so uncomfortable. I wanted to cuddle my comfort zone again, but at the same time, I wanted to cherish those moments, I too wanted to play with her fingers, but I hadn’t had enough audacity to take any move.

“I don’t know what I want to know about you; I mean, I had not thought of knowing you, not even that we would ever be going to talk so, this is a bit difficult question for me to answer,” I replied.

“Then why not we start with an easy question? Do you like me being here?” she asked. She thought that was an easy question; it might be for her as she was the one who dared to come to my home merely to know why I didn’t reply to her. But that was not an easy question for me to answer; it was even arduous than the previous one. Neither I could say no to her when in actuality, I was enjoying her sitting beside me, nor I wanted to say yes as I didn’t want her to think of me as a vulnerable person. So I didn’t say anything; it was not like I was obliged to answer her.

“What does this silence mean, Sid?” she asked when I didn’t say anything for a while. She placed my hand on the sofa. So she is going to leave, I thought, and was going to feel relaxed when she put her hand on my thigh. My ear started thumping; it was like all the blood from my veins went into my ears, and my vision started getting a bit dizzy. I got up from the sofa in haste and stood there, not knowing how to act in response.

“What happened?” she asked very calmly while bringing the same elfish smile on her face. I was standing there, dumbfounded, not able to utter a single word.

“Sit down, Sid. I am not going to hurt you,” she said while a laugh escaped from her pursed lips. I was looking into her eyes, trying to know her intention. Was she coming on to me? Even though it was quite difficult for me to concede that yet her actions were speaking differently. I sat down but slightly away from her.

“I think you should go, Sneha,” I tried to act calmly.

“Why?” she asked and, at the same time, checked her phone.

“It is just two p.m., and your mom is not coming back until evening,” she said. I didn’t realize that more than one hour went away, and I had hardly spoken anything.

“Do you like to take anything, perhaps a cup of tea?” I asked to bring some normality to the situation.

“Yes, I would like that,” she replied. I thanked God that she didn’t deny it because I really wanted to go away from her, even if it was for a few minutes. I went to the kitchen to make some tea. I was standing in the kitchen, keeping an eye on the tea. I was also looking back, checking on her what she was doing. She was sitting on the sofa with her back on me; I couldn’t see what exactly she was doing. I turned back to check the tea, and when the next time I turned to see her, she was standing just behind me.