How To Become an Immortal, the new way.

Written by Primordial and Chaotic Void Master/ChaoticVoidGod

Enjoy, Retards. Not meant seriously.

Warning! I promise that this isn't poison, but be calm when reading it!

Chu Xian was a young man(the usual somebody in xianxia).

However, he had a small secret, he loved doing R18 acts. " Fuck this shit." He said. The last of his savings wasted in a brothel, body reeking with wine and sweat past the long night he had, accompanied by moderately beautiful girls from the brothel.

He was strolling around the roads of the city with no clear destination in mind. The disgust of the crowd encroached around him but none dare spoke. He was the young master of the Chu Clan, a clan that ruled over several cities, the "DogShit" City or the "ShittyWine" City to name a few. It was quite the achievement considering that his whole clan was filled with mortals, not cultivators, while he had reached a realm of cultivation that even if a million mortals attacked him , he could kill them.

However, a random sect recognized his talent at sex so they made him part of the XXX sect which cultivated sexual techniques. He was already the top disciple of that sect.

As he was walking towards his sect from the brothel through the shortcut that went through the woods, he saw an incomparably beautiful woman that seemed like 20 year old lying on the ground, seemingly unconscious. Her clothes were in tatters and cut up, she was bleeding from multiple wounds and her breathing was rough. Her entire body was perfect, her hair, her face everything. A young man as he was, his lust immediately ignited and, guided by his lust, rushed over to the woman.

He swallowed his saliva before slowly rubbing his hands together, 'What a beauty, If I can't have a taste of her today, then I, your father will regret it for life!' He thought.

He made a perverted face as he was looking at the unconscious woman. He jumped at her and ripped her clothes completely. Her beautiful mountains appeared. They were perfect looking, as if the heavens had made them with care. 'They would be even more beautiful if they weren't cut up and filled with bone deep wounds' Chu Xian thought.

He dug some medicine pills from his interspatial ring and fed them to her. 'Sex would be better when her body is whole, not cut up'. That was his motive for healing her. He already imagined himself with his sword inside her, thrusting inside out.

His eyes were filled with lust. He slowly put the pill inside her mouth, through her soft and moist lips, which was indeed seductive, he couldn't hold it anymore as he touched mountains.

His sword down there started to rage like a soldier that was going to fight a war against the heavens. 'Just wait my little brother, soon…' He thought as he started to lick those rosebuds.

He could hear a small, seductive moan from coming from her mouth, he licked his lips and kissed her in the lips with a small push of his legs. His tongue exploring her mouth with seemingly endless vigor.

Thankfully the beauty didn't wake up or she'd already be in the ninth heaven and punching him in the face

Chu Xian took a small pill from his interspatial ring,'I'd never have thought I'd use my fourth grade pill here.'

That pill was called,"The Pill That Every Man Needs In His Life". With it, the beauty would be within his grasp forever. He forced it inside her mouth and down her throat, 'I'm not doing this because I like her mouth and throat' He nodded.

Suddenly the beauty started to moan, hearing her beautiful voice, his son down there couldn't help but get bigger! 'Hehe, wait my little son soon I'll get food to feed you with.'

Chu Xian smiled like a pervert(which he is) and started to lick her mountains. He played with her rosebuds, earning a few more moans from her, this only served his son to grow even faster. He couldn't help but bit her rosebud lightly, while playing with her other rosebud.

The beauty started to moan even more loudly, if not for them being in the forest, Chu Xian would bet somebody would notice them. He looked down, at her cave and licked his lips as lust filled his eyes.

He started to lick the insides of the cave with his tongue, exploring it with vigor, as if it was looking for a nearby treasure.

The beauty suddenly shook as it moaned each second. This only made Chu Xian drown deeper into the lust. This time he couldn't help it as he revealed his son and pushed it straight inside the woman, taking her virginity.

This didn't earn a moan but a cry filled with pain.

Chu Xian couldn't help but thrust his son. With each thrust, the pain the beauty felt faded, replaced by pleasure.

"YEAH BABY!" He yelled with saliva dripping from the corner of his lips, looking more like a wild beast than a human with his lecherous gaze piercing the beauty. The beauty's eyes slowly moved, however she was still unconscious, unaware of the acts made by the wild beast, Chu Xian.

"I, your father feel so good!" Chu Xian yelled as he made a final thrust before releasing his son's army inside the beauty.

The beauty finally was conscious! Just at the moment the army made its' way through her insides

"Eh?" She couldn't believe her eyes, ears and body. '...' She was speechless as pleasure invaded her body. "Ah, Ahhh!"

Chu Xian started thrusting inside of her yet again, this time in a doggy style. Her eyes showed tears as she cried in pain and pleasure at the same time. She felt like slapping the idiot who raped her, but she had no power to even resist.

"Ah! Ah!" Her moans covered the entire forest(As if).

" This father is so pleased with you, just become my sex slave!" Chu Xian felt like this beauty was his perfect sex slave.

Yet again, his son released another legion inside her.

"Ah! Ah ! Ah!" This time her moans were even louder.

Chu Xian couldn't help but grab her two mountains and thrust a final time inside of her…

----

After a day, the couple fucked more than rabbits in heat.

"This young master feels you are his perfect dao companion! Aie!" He said with a happy face, his hands touching his son.

The beauty was silent, " You bastard! You took my chastity. Now you must pay, You must… Marry me!" However the next moment she exploded violently.

Chu Xian slapped her, or at least tried to. His heart couldn't bear slapping the beautiful face the beauty made, which now was covered in his son's army.

" Marry you?! YOU SHOULD MARRY ME! CHANGE YOUR SURNAME TO CHU!" He roared as the beauty shook and retreated a few steps behind.

Clearly nobody had talked to her like that before," Ye- Yes…" She said. Clearly a bit shaken up from the unexpected shout. Her eyes showed a submissive reaction to Chu Xian, even though it lasted for only a single second, the experienced Chu Xian immediately noticed it.

"So who are you Miss?" He said while licking his lips.

"I am…"

"Bing Mei." She said.

"From now on you are Chu Mei! " Chu Xian said," Got it?!" He added with a yell.

"Yes…" Chu Mei said, somehow she felt like she should love him, deeply at that too. She had no idea why such feelings had entered her fragile and icy heart.

"Now…" He grinned and pushed his son straight into her mouth, she was caught completely surprised!

Her eyes formed tears, she was unable to breath properly, she tried to push his son out, which sadly was impossible.

"Ahhhh, it feels so good! Young Master feels so good!" Chu Xian couldn't help but say as he pushed deeper, by pulling her hair and head closer to him.

"Mmmhhhh" She was trying to say something, which was sadly impossible," LICK IT!" Chu Xian roared as immediately Chu Mei started licking his son(That sounds wrong somehow).

(Everything here is wrong lol)

(You aren't wrong brother)

(W-who's your brother!? Baka!)

(Male Tsundere?~)

(No, just bored)

(Please…. Everything in existence is wrong….)

(Etooo…. Maybe This IS Indeed Wrong) -Void

Her face started to redden.

However suddenly he heard a voice, " Fellow Daoist?" He suddenly shivered and pushed Chu Mei's mouth off of his son and immediately wore clothes, so fast that even he didn't notice.

"Who are you?!" He yelled angrily.

"I am Daoist NorthernSea, I am looking for a beautiful woman, she has escaped from home. If you have seen her please tell me." A handsome looking young man said. (This guy will die) (Wait, did he just see a guy throat fucking a girl and still act like this?) (no reply?)

Chu Xian looked around and only found a bottle of wine.

"FUCK YOU INTERRUPTING THIS YOUNG MASTER'S PRECIOUS XXX TIME!" He yelled as he smashed the bottle of wine straight into his head.

The young man never expected that he would die like this. (He's dead already!?)

"What?! Senior Apprentice BlueSea!" Chu Mei said surprised.

"You know this shitty bastard?! He made me waste a bottle of precious wine." Chu Xian roared angrily.

"Chu Xi- I mean husband, he is my senior apprentice brother who tried to poison me to sleep with him." Hearing this, not only did Chu Xian's fury not extinguish, but it soared to another level!

He started to kick and punch the dead man, to please his rage." TAKE THAT!"

He took out a huge sword from his interspatial ring and slashed the man into small pieces of meat.(Rip) (RIP)

"HOW DARES HE TRY TO RAPE MY BEAUTIFUL SEX SLAVE!" Chu Xian felt like he had soared to the heavens as he sucked the man's soul inside of him ( Sect Technique)

Suddenly he felt like his power soared, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.

He was an immortal! But now he had to exhaust his almost unlimited excess energy somewhere, to which greedily looked at Chu Mei.

It was a long night indeed…

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No more R-18 scenes for you pervs.

Bah.

Owner- That's it!

One Month Later~ - Literally

No.

________________________________________________________________

The universe shook, even the many gods who were having a sexy time decided to see what happened. A god was born, A Fuck God! Not a sex one, but a RAPE AND FUCKING GOD! LITERALLY!

That night… The universe was stolen of it's chastity… okay I'm just joking.

Chu Xian and … WTF was her name again? Had fifty sons, 156 daughters, and 300 grandsons, soon their bloodline extended to over 5000 people. Shockingly, it formed a huge clan, known as the … No idea.

Well at least it's a happy ending… But… will it remain like that forever?

_------_

/2018/3/4 I just saw this shit/ChaoticVoidGod

"XXX, I'm your father."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Seriously, you're not. I saw my father die with my own eyes. Die liar!"(R.I.P.) HEY WHO WROTE DAT(I did. -Prim)

(P.S luXe is to weak to defeat Darth Vaxer)

Spoiler.

(P.S. Chaotic Void Master turned into a G.I.R.L) - WUT, maybe… who knows, P.S DON'T ANNOUNCE MY NAME WHO IS A GIRL YOU DUMBASS

Wut

Chapter 2 - The Grandson of the grandson of the grandson…

After the 450th generation, the clan started to die, and Chu Xian together with his wife died from old age, shockingly.

Then slowly everyone died, Che Ye was the last of the clan. However his power was rather mediocre, barely reaching the Heavenly Immortal Realm, standing at the sixth layer of said realm.

However, if there was a thing Che Ye was proud of, it was the name his grandpa gave him, Chu Feng Yun Che Chu Xian The rapist. He rapped like a god.. Currently he was in the Royal Phoenix City.

A rather rich city of a mortal country, ruled by A pheope*cough*. What are they even called? Child lovers?

Chu Feng Yun Che Chu Xian The Rapist, decided to fuck a random chick. Why you say? Well he was bored. His manhood was also sending signals to his body that it was quite hungry for food. Food = girls.

'Hmmm who too choose who too choose. (p.s o is innocent) Oh yeah, I'll go fuck a Phoenix…'

He took a huge hot breath and slept, with me. End.

Or nah.

Chu Che Xian smiled and in a second reached the nearest chick he could find, and with a single wave of his muscular hand, the girl's clothes disappeared, revealing two peaks, one cave and two towers on top of the peaks. He immediately tasted the peaks.

Yummy.

This father was hungry! Muahahah!