Chapter 4: The Potions Prick

Jake smiled widely as he sat under the hat. He took it off and hurried over to the Gryffindor table and sat beside Hermione, "I knew you'd get Gryffindor! I just knew you would!" She was smiling a toothy grin at him.

"I knew I would too," he smiled back at her as the excitement died down for a moment and he looked up to the staff table. Up there, he saw Dumbledore smiling right at him.

Albus Dumbledore then got to his feet and beamed at all of his students, his arms opened wide, as if nothing could have pleased him more than to see them all there at the Castle, "Welcome!" His voice boomed loudly, "Welcome, to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words, and they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!" He gave everyone a brief once over, "Thank you!" He sat back down to an eruption of applause and cheer.

"The Headmaster is a bit of an odd one, isn't he?" Jake asked Hermione.

"He is, but he's the most powerful Wizard in the world, I think he's earned the right to be a little odd," Hermione said thoughtfully. The next thing the both of them knew, all of the plates and goblets were filled with food and drink, respectively.

"That does look good," Jake heard a ghostly voice say a little ways down the table. He looked and saw that a Ghost was looking at Harry cutting into his steak.

"Can't you eat too?" Harry had asked the Ghost.

Jake thought that was a rather silly question, "I haven't eaten in nearly five hundred years," said the Ghost sadly. "I don't need to, of course, but one does miss it..." he was more sad than a moment ago, before rebounding into cheeriness, "Oh, I don't believe I've yet introduced, have I? I am Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington, at your service! I am the Resident Ghost of Gryffindor Tower."

"Wait, I know who you are!" Jake heard Ron say excitedly, "My brothers told me about you! You're Nearly Headless Nick!"

"I would prefer it if you called me Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-" Sir Nick never got to finish his sentence.

"Nearly Headless?" Jake heard Seamus ask, sitting near Ron, "How can you be Nearly Headless?"

Nick looked like someone had just ruffled his feathers the wrong way. This clearly wasn't going how he wanted to, so he decided to give them what they wanted, "Like this," his voice was irritable. He grabbed the hair on top of his head, leaned forward and pulled his head to the side, revealing that his head was still attached, but only by some skin and muscle.

Jake looked at Hermione, who looked like she lost her appetite, "Bad time to say that it looks like an execution gone wrong?" She looked over and glared at him, "Right... sorry..." he looked away, but saw out of the corner of his eye that she began to eat again, but slowly.

Jake looked back to Nick and saw that he had a pleased look on his face at the shocked look of the First Year Gryffindor students, "So, new Gryffindors! I hope you're going to help us win the House Championship this year? Gryffindor has never gone so long without winning. Slytherin has won the Cup six years in a row now, and the Bloody Baron is becoming quite unbearable. He is the Resident Ghost of Slytherin House."

After another ten minutes of eating, a lot of people stuffed to the brim, all of the food faded and was slowly replaced by desserts of all kinds. Jake, had he not been at the Leaky Cauldron for as long as he was, wouldn't know the names of over half of what was in front of him. He helped himself to a jam doughnut and a piece of apple pie, Hermione grabbing some rice pudding for herself. Everyone began to then talk about their families and how they were raised, "I'm half and half," he heard Seamus say, "Me dad's a Muggle, Mam's a Witch. She didn't tell him she was a Witch 'til after they were married. Bit of a nasty shock for him."

"What about you, Neville?" Ron asked him.

"Well, my gran brought me up and she's a witch," he said in a weird tone, "but the family thought I was a Squib for ages. My great-uncle Algie kept trying to catch me off my guard and force some magic out of me. He pushed me off the end of Blackpool pier once, I nearly drowned!" Neville was acting like he was reliving the memory, "But nothing happened until I was eight. Great-uncle Algie came around for tea and he was hanging me out of an upstairs window by the ankles when my great-auntie Enid offered him a Meringue and he accidentally let go. But I bounced - all the way down to the garden and into the road. They were all really pleased. My Gran was crying, she was so happy!" Neville was smiling as he said that. It brought a smile to Jake's face.

"What about you, Jake? Who's your family?" Ron asked him. Jake got the idea that Ron was naturally curious and he wondered if all Pure-Bloods were like that.

Jake looked down at his dessert for a moment, "Well... I don't know," he said and gathered the attention of a few Gryffindor's nearby, having caught his American accent, "the people I knew as my parents weren't my real parents... so I don't know..." he looked up at Ron who was a bit confused.

"They weren't your real parents?" He asked.

"No, but the man I thought was my father... he was completely against it, the magic. My mother, or the woman I believed was my mother, she was far more supportive," he looked to Hermione a moment before continuing, "then something happened that caused me to come here to Britain."

Ron was about to ask what had happened, but was interrupted by one of his brothers, "Hey, little Brother, you don't need to know every little detail of someone's life."

"Sorry, Percy," Ron replied a little meekly.

Jake spoke up real quick, "It's alright, Ron, but I'm not going to answer, okay?"

"Okay, sorry mate, didn't mean to be nosy," Ron was looking apologetic.

"Like I said, it's alright," he smiled and continued eating his dessert. He heard Harry ask Percy who it was talking to Professor Quirrell, and he was told that it was Professor Snape, Potions Professor. He also heard Percy say that Snape was after Quirrell's job, since he knows a lot about the Dark Arts. That somewhat intrigued Jake, not the Dark Arts, but the fact that Snape wanted it, but has yet to actually get it. If he wants it so bad, why doesn't Dumbledore just give it to him?

Jake glanced up at the staff table and saw the man, he had a hooked nose and looked like he was never happy for a moment of his life.

At last, the puddings too disappeared and Professor Dumbledore got to his feet again, causing the Hall to fall silent, "Ahem - just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you. First Years should note that the forest in the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well," Dumbledore's twinkling eyes flashed in the direction of some students, but Jake couldn't tell which ones. "I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors. Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch. And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."

Jake was now seriously curious as to what was on the Third Floor that was that dangerous.

"Well, that is all I had to say, it's bedtime. Off you trot!" The Headmaster said, clapping his hands as though that was the reason for everyone rising seconds later.

The Gryffindor First Years followed Percy and a female student that Jake obviously didn't recognize. There must be more than two Prefects for Gryffindor, but he figured it was the Fifth Year Prefects that had the job of leading the First Years to their House Common Rooms. They followed them out of the Great Hall and up the marble staircase. Jake was starting to feel fatigue set in; all of the food and excitement from the day was hitting him right then like a runaway bus. They climbed many staircases and went through many hidden doorways, surely there was an easier way to get to Gryffindor Tower, right? When they came to a sudden halt, Jake opened his eyes widely, believing them to be there, but there was nothing to indicate they'd arrived at Gryffindor Tower yet.

A bundle of walking sticks were floating in mid-air ahead of them as Percy took a step towards them. When he did so, they started throwing themselves at him, "Peeves," he whispered to them, "A poltergeist." He glanced around briefly before he raised his voice, "Peeves! Show yourself!"

A loud, ruse sound, like the air being let out of a balloon, answered back to him.

"Do you want us to go to the Bloody Baron?" Percy threatened.

There was a pop sound and a little man with wicked dark eyes and a wide mouth appeared, floating cross-legged in the air, clutching the walking sticks, "Oooooooh!" He said with an evil cackle, "Ickle firsties! What fun!"

He swooped suddenly and they all ducked. Jake already hated Peeves.

"Go away, Peeves, or the Baron will hear about this, we mean it!" Barked the female Prefect, who Jake still didn't know the name of.

Peeves stuck out his tongue and vanished, dropping the walking sticks on Neville's head. They heard him zooming away, rattling some suits of armor as he passed through the rooms beyond.

"You'll want to watch out for Peeves," Percy said as they set off once more, "The Bloody Baron's the only one Peeves will ever listen to. It's an absolute sham that Dumbledore hasn't rid the castle of the annoying Poltergeist. And finally, here we are, Gryffindor Tower!"

At the very end of the corridor hung a portrait of a very fat woman in a pink silk dress, "Password?" She asked in a rather loud voice.

"Caput Draconis," said Percy. The portrait swung open to reveal a round hole in the wall, large enough for a giant to fit through, Jake thought. They all scrambled through the hole and found themselves in the Common Room. It was cozy looking and had several armchairs, two couches, a fireplace, and lots of books. Percy directed the boys to where their dormitory would be and the female Prefect, who finally introduced herself as Miranda Hopkins, directed the girls to theirs.

When they found their rooms, Jake wasn't surprised to see himself being bunked with the five other Gryffindor First years. Harry, Ron, Neville, Seamus, and Dean. His stuff was on his bed and Chloe was sitting peacefully in her cage. He wondered if there was a place for her to sleep outside of her cage at night, he knew how much she hated it, "Hey, Chloe," he said to her and she opened her eyes, head raising up and being tilted to the side as she looked at him, "You want out? Or are you content with staying in there?" Her response was her eyes closing and going back to sleep. Jake gave a light chuckle and changed into his pajamas after he saw that he could draw some curtains on his bed.

He was sitting in bed when he heard Ron talking, "Great food, isn't it?" He assumed he was talking to Harry. "Get off, Scabbers! He's chewing my sheets!" Jake just shook his head. He rested his head on the pillow, anxious for the first day of classes. If they went badly, then the rest of this year - and every year after - would go badly. If they went well, there was a good chance they would go that way the whole Seven Years he would be there. He closed his eyes and fell asleep almost immediately.

*******

Jake was quick to find out that schooling at Hogwarts was about as difficult as he predicted it would be. Well, difficult wasn't the right word; tedious was a better way to describe it. It wasn't hard finding his classrooms, but with a hundred and forty-two staircases; wide, sweeping ones; narrow, rickety-ones; some that supposedly led somewhere different on a Friday; some with a vanishing step halfway up that you had to remember to step over, lest you end up with your leg dangling below it. Then doors that wouldn't open unless you asked politely, or tickled them in the right spot. Then there were doors that weren't doors at all, just solid walls pretending to be doors.

Yes, tedious, that's what it all was.

The classes themselves were varied enough so that none of them felt repetitive of one another. On Wednesdays they had Astronomy at midnight and had to gaze through telescopes at stars and planets, learning their names and movements. Three days a week was Herbology behind the Castle at one of the Greenhouses. Jake enjoyed it enough, but learned to not get near the Venomous Tentacula, because apparently it was teething.

Jake found out that the most boring class in the world was History of Magic. He noticed that even Hermione was having trouble not getting bored every now and again. The only interesting part of the class was the very beginning when Professor Binns, a Ghostly Teacher, came in through the wall. It was also cool how he hovered in place, but once he spoke, it didn't take that long for the yawning to start for most of the class.

Charms was a fun class to learn in because Professor Flitwick, a short man who is rumored to be a Champion Duelist, makes learning new Charms fun. The first day was especially hilarious because when he got to Harry's name while taking roll call, he had given an excited squeak and toppled off the books he stood on and fell out of sight.

Jake had been given the impression before their sorting that Professor McGonagall was a shrewd woman, and that was one-hundred percent true. During Transfiguration it was no different, as in their first class she gave them all a talking to about how Transfiguration is regarded as one of the most complex and most dangerous branches of Magic to learn. Jake found it an interesting enough class, albeit a tad bit boring. That wasn't Professor McGonagall's fault, though, it was the branch of Magic itself. Although his interest was increased when she turned her desk into a Pig and then back. It made the class eager to get started, but they found out they wouldn't be doing something so complex until much later. It made sense that they started off with a match and had to turn it into a needle. They were both small, inanimate objects that had a similar make-up. They were both straight objects; the only thing that changed was the size as they were taking the slightly thicker match and turning it into a thinner needle.

By the end of their first class, Jake and Hermione were the only two who made any progress at all. They didn't get it to change to a needle, not entirely, but they both managed to turn the match a Silvery sheen. Jake had a slight leg up on Hermione and got one end to be a point. She gave him a slightly annoyed glare, which made his smile disappear at having done as well as he had in the first class.

The one class every First Year had been looking forward to was Defense Against the Dark Arts, commonly abbreviated to DADA. Except the class, or at least the Professor, that being Quirrell, was a disappointment. The man, as far as Jake was concerned, was a complete joke of a Professor. To add onto that, his classroom smelled of garlic all the time. Apparently it was to ward off Vampires, specifically one that he met in Romania and he was afraid of it coming for him. He explained that his turban had been given to him by an African Prince for helping him get rid of a troublesome Zombie.

Seamus had been eager to know how he got rid of it, but Quirrell started to talk about the weather instead. Jake had never seen a useless man be more than useless. The turban also had a funny smell, and Ron's older brothers, Fred and George, said that he probably had it stuffed with Garlic so that he was always protected wherever he went.

Come Friday, Jake and Hermione were sitting in the Great Hall for Breakfast. He was looking at his schedule, which he'd gotten memorized like Hermione, he saw that at the end of the day the Gryffindor First Years had Double Potions with the Slytherin First Years, "Not really looking forward to the last class of the day, especially if Snape is as biased towards his own house as the older Gryffindor say he is."

"Well, as long as we answer any question he asks, and don't do anything to interrupt him, we should be alright," Hermione said, looking over at him.

"It's not us I'm worried about," he looked up at her from his schedule. She knew what he was talking about. They both knew they were fine in their classes, but it was the other Gryffindor First Years they were worried about.

"You've got a point..." she continued to eat her toast with jam.

Harry and Ron came in and sat down a little ways away from them and Harry's Owl came in and dropped him off a letter. It was of no concern to Jake, because he hadn't exactly hung out with either Harry or Ron since term started, and he was alright with that. Ron wasn't exactly the friendliest towards him or Hermione, especially Hermione, and that didn't sit well with Jake.

When it was time for Potions, Jake noticed that it was much colder down in the dungeons than anywhere else in the Castle. Jake had to admit that the aesthetics of the classroom were rather cool to look at and it gave it a Mad Scientist vibe.

Professor Snape, like Flitwick, had started class by taking roll call. When he got to Harry's name, he stopped, just like Flitwick had. But the response was the complete opposite, "Ah, yes..." he started quietly, "Harry Potter. Our new... celebrity ."

Jake heard Draco and his two friends snickering, and Snape didn't say a word. When Seamus had done the same thing in Transfiguration, McGonagall took Five Points from Gryffindor. The rumor was true about Snape, he did favor his own house.

Snape continued forth with the roll calling, and he stopped at Jake as well, who came after Zabini, "Right... we have two... celebrities at Hogwarts now... there has never been an American student at Hogwarts. Ever. I don't know why Dumbledore invited you to Hogwarts, but that isn't my concern; You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of Potion-making," he began in a low drone, speaking to all of them after addressing Jake, but it wasn't like Binns' low drone, it had a sinister tone hidden in it. And like Professor McGonagall, Snape had a way of keeping a room quiet, and attention undivided, "As there is little wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly shimmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through the human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses..." Snape glanced around. Jake did ever so briefly as well and saw that everyone was basically on the edge of their seat, even the Slytherin's, "I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even stopper death - if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

The silence in the room was absolutely deafening. Jake glanced over at Hermione, who also looked at him. They both nodded and would prove that the both of them at least were not dunderheads.

"Potter!" Snape said suddenly, startling everyone in the classroom, "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

Jake knew the answer, and was about to raise his hand. He saw that Hermione had shot hers straight into the air immediately, but Snape didn't even spare her a glance, "I don't know, sir," Harry responded.

His lips curled into a sinister sneer, "Tut tut, I guess fame isn't everything. Let's try again, Potter, where would you look if I tasked you with finding me a bezoar?"

Jake almost raised his hand again, but since Snape ignored Hermione, it would prove fruitless to do so. Hermione had her hand in the air again, "I don't know, sir."

"Thought you wouldn't open a book before coming, eh, Potter?" He taunted Harry. Jake wasn't appreciative of that. A teacher wasn't supposed to act like this towards a student, and he continued to ignore Hermione's shaking hand, "What is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

"I don't know, sir. I think Hermione does, why don't you try asking her?" Harry joked, causing the classroom to laugh.

"Hand down, stupid girl," Snape said to Hermione before turning his attention to Jake, who saw the hurt in Hermione's eyes as she had just been so easily tossed aside. Said boy was glaring at Snape now for what he'd said to Hermione, "Same questions, Fernandes, answer them," his sneer had grown in the past few minutes. Jake was about to wipe it off his face.

"Adding powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood makes a sleeping potion so powerful that it's known as the Draught of Living Death. A Bezoar is found in the stomach of a goat and will save the one who downs it from most known poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same plant," Jake said with a smirk, "which also goes by the name of aconite." As he spoke, he heard Hermione beside him writing it down. She already knew the answers, but it was never bad to have notes taken for studying later.

As expected, Snape's sneer disappeared, "Wipe that smirk off your face, boy. Ten Points will be taken from Gryffindor. Five from Potter, and Five from you, both for giving me cheek."

Snape had just turned around, "What a useless Professor you are. Harry clearly didn't have the time to retain that much information in just over a month," Jake said, to the shock and horror of everyone in the classroom, especially Hermione.

Snape had stopped moving, his back to his students. He turned around and didn't seem to take kindly to being so casually insulted, "Really? And when did you start reading your textbooks?"

"Just over five months ago. Plenty of time to learn everything, and then some," Jake himself was rather proud of that little fact.

"Oh, bravo to you," Snape gave a mocking clap for him, which the Slytherin's all followed suit, "that will be another Ten Points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all."

Snape turned back around and Jake was about to continue arguing with him, but Hermione stopped him. Her eyes begged him to stop, so he did. The rest of the class went about as well as one would expect for the Gryffindor students. Snape put them all into pairs, separating Jake and Hermione, pairing her up with Seamus and Neville up with him. "Jake, I'm not so confident in my Potions ability. My gran had me practice at our room in the Leaky Cauldron and I almost burned the room down."

"Don't worry, just follow my lead, Neville, do exactly as I say, and you'll do fine," Jake smiled at the round-faced boy, who seemed to feel better about himself.

Snape then watched them for the class period as they weighed dried nettles and crushed snake fangs in their attempts to make a Cure for Boils potion. Things were going well for Jake and Neville; at the very least, Snape didn't come over and criticize them, probably because there was nothing to criticize. He, of course, didn't praise them either. Oh, but he sure did praise Malfoy, though, "Everyone, take a glance at Mr. Malfoy's cauldron and observe the perfection that it-" Snape stopped himself as the Potion turned into a rather dark red color. It then began to steam horribly. Snape quickly waved his wand and rid the Cauldron of the wasted brew.

"It would seem that Draco added one too many horned slugs to his Cauldron, sir," Jake said, unable to keep the smirk off his face.

Snape sneered at him, but didn't say anything. He didn't even take points off of Draco for failing the Potion, which Jake knew that he would have had it been a Gryffindor that failed it. Jake looked over at Neville and saw catastrophe almost happen, "Neville wait!"

Neville quickly stopped what he was doing, frozen in place, "What?" He asked worriedly.

"The porcupine quills go in 'after' the cauldron is taken off the fire," Jake said, which the whole class had obviously heard. It was apparent to everyone that Jake really knew what he was talking about when it came to Potion-making.

Snape was more skeptical than the others and even though he didn't say it aloud, he chalked it up to 'Beginner's Luck.'

After class ended, with the rest of the attempts, save Crabbe and Goyle, being successful brews of the Potion, or at least not colossal failures. Hermione walked up to Jake after seeing Neville thank him immensely before walking off, "I didn't know you were so good at Potions! Even I, as much as I don't want to say it, almost messed up several times, but when I looked over to you and Neville, I realized what I almost did and just followed your lead. My Potion only turned out perfect because of you, Jake," Hermione said with a genuine smile.

"Well thanks, Hermione, that means a lot to me," he smiled back at her.

"So..." she started, but then trailed off.

"So... what?"

"Why did you talk back to Professor Snape like that?" She asked him, looking him dead in the eyes.

"Because what he did to Harry and I, taking points off of us, me especially for getting the answer right, and knowing what I was talking about, is not what a teacher is supposed to do. I wouldn't have said what I did for any of that, though," he answered her.

"Then why did you say what you did to him?" She asked curiously.

"Because he insulted you, Hermione. Teachers are supposed to be supportive of their students, and be critical of their bad work, and then work to help them improve so that it becomes good work. That man isn't a teacher, he's a bully," he turned away from Hermione and looked down at the ground, "I can't stand bullies... not after-" he stopped himself, closed his eyes, and composed himself. It wasn't territory he wanted to divulge to Hermione right then. He didn't want her to worry about him.

"Well... thank you for standing up for me," she smiled and turned him around so he could see her appreciation, "Come on, let's go work on our homework and get it done before the weekend officially starts."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," he smiled back at her, feeling better, and they both walked towards the library to get as much of their work done as they could before dinner time.