By my side

"You should probably get some rest now," Sara said tucking me into the bed.

Just then, my phone rang again. It was Anurag.

I could not gather the energy to talk to him at that time and preferred to rest for the time being.

I turned my phone off and went back to sleep.

--

Three days later, I got a text from Anurag, that he wanted to be by my side, and that he is moving to my current city for his higher studies.

It was one of his many texts that I have not responded to and did not speak to him in the past three days.

But his decision to come over for higher studies, or 'higher studies' was kind of weird considering the fact that he had dropped out 3 years ago, saying that 'He did not want to continue his studies anymore.'

I wish I had looked into it and processed what everything meant. But instead, like the fool I had been, I thought it was all because he was guilty and wanted to make things right, and was just coming over to make me happy.

But who knew it was the beginning of all misery?

This time, for the first time in three days, I received his call.

"Megha, Thank God you picked up, I was worried sick." Said Anurag over the phone.

"Its not natural to be worried for someone after stabbing them in the heart."

It broke me, it might have broken him as well, the pain of such a betrayal can never let you go unscarred, it leaves scars that always leaves a mark. The wound may heal, the pain may subside, but not the mark, and this incident will forever leave a scar.

As the conversation continued, I could feel a mix of emotions swirling within me - anger, hurt, and confusion. Anurag tried to explain himself, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to hear his reasons for abandoning me in the past. Part of me wanted to shut him out completely, but another part yearned for love, closure and understanding.

"Anurag, I don't know if I can just forgive and forget everything," I replied, my voice wavering. "Every time, you disappeared without any explanation, leaving me heartbroken and devastated. And just when I thought I had moved on, every time, your sudden reappearance brought back all those painful memories. And every time I overlooked everything, demanded no explanation, and let you back in until all of this became a routine for you. What have I done to deserve all this pain, Anurag?"

"I know I made a terrible mistake back then," he said, his voice heavy with regret. "I was young and foolish, and I didn't know how to handle my emotions. But I've changed, Megha. I've spent these three years reflecting on my actions and trying to become a better person. Please, just give me a chance to prove that I've changed."

I sighed, torn between my feelings and his pleas. "Anurag, I need time to process all of this. Your decision to move here for higher studies seems impulsive, and I can't help but wonder if there's more to it than what you're telling me."

He paused for a moment before opening up, "You're right. It's not just about studies. I wanted to be close to you again, to have a chance to rebuild what we once had. But I understand if you can't trust me right now. I'll give you all the space you need, but please don't shut me out completely."

I could hear the sincerity in his voice, but my heart was still guarded. "I need time to think, Anurag. Please don't pressure me. Also, rebuild what Anurag? You have cheated on me, not once, accidentally but multiple times, and you expect me to magically reconcile everything?"

"Of course, I'll wait for as long as it takes," he said softly. "Just remember, I still care about you deeply, and I'll be here whenever you're ready to talk, and I am extremely sorry, trust me I am, I never wanted things to turn out how they have, but my love for you, it was never a lie, never will be."