Chapter 22: Joel X Huma

Joel paced and fretted with constant nervousness. He obsessed over the state of his office. Were the posters on his walls too tacky? What about the stuffed animals on the shelves? No, no, he was overthinking this, as usual. What mattered when meeting new people was never the background details, but what he said. But what if Joel said the wrong things? Such problems borne of anxiety are essentially unsolvable, and Joel knew this, yet he was so completely focused on meeting Huma Reid for the first time that there was nothing he could except try to maximize the impact, and hope that she liked him.

Inevitably, this all proved to be a moot point when Huma finally showed. She slammed the door open with such a loud fury that Joel instinctively cowered behind his desk.

"Get up," Huma said, walking over. "I need answers. Now."

Joel nervously peered over the desk. Huma's imposing figure gave her the look of a Greek goddess, an impression greatly helped by her olive complexion. Even bearing in mind that Joel was short, and was forced to look up at her, Huma had a very intimidating and condescending gaze that made Joel feel like something akin to an insect.

"Where is that person?" asked Huma. "The associate of Jerry Shankar."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Joel nervously, his teeth clattering. "Why, we here at the Rainbow Shirts don't have any such things as...uh...indefinite detention centers. Of course not! Such things would be...um...very counterintuitive in the context of...um...our moral message of...um...social justice..."

"Quit with the script," said Huma, with a look so pointed Joel creeped back into his chair silently just as a defensive measure. "We're all on the same side here. I need to expose Jerry Shankar to the world, and so do you. That woman can help."

"How?" asked Joel, puzzled. "Everybody knows who Jerry Shankar really is. It's also clear from our own interrogations that she offers little insight-"

"Knock it off," said Huma darkly, inviting herself to sit on top of Joel's desk. "Look, do you really want me poking around? Calling people? Telling them about how uncooperative you are when it comes to this extremely reasonable request?"

"That would be extremely dangerous for me," said Joel, very nervously.

"Right," said Huma smiling, leaning forward, stroking Joel on the chin. "So you're going to tell me, right?"

"Yes, well, um," said Joel, trying to avoid looking Huma straight in the eyes. "I don't actually, um, know for sure. But if you go upstairs and ask for the room with a good view, that's our code-word you see, someone will help you right along. I'm positive of it."

Huma abruptly turned her head back, very haughtily. Her long auburn hair looked splendid. Joel wondered what kind of shampoo she used.

"Thanks," said Huma. "I'll remember this."

And just as abruptly as she had come into his office, Huma was gone. Joel took some relief in knowing that this much had been accomplished, even he felt compelled to tell a pointlessly elaborate lie to get rid of her.