Intentions

I woke up when I felt a pang of pain directed to my right. Tiredly opening my eyes, I felt it again. This time stronger. I fully let my sight take in my surroundings and there I saw Reez pushing me off the bed.

"WHERE IS THAT ANIMAL?" Although it was faint, I heard it from outside. And surely it was someone shouting because I knew these walls were thick enough to cancel a lot of noise.

"Get under the bed." I looked at Reez who was still busy pushing me off, furrowing his brows. I couldn't comprehend the situation in my newly awakened state so I did what's best and obeyed him.

Just as I managed to fit myself in the tight space between the bed and the very cold floor, the door swung open and I hear Reez squeak out a small whimper.

"WHERE IS HE?" One man with a very deep voice sounded. He seemed very angry. I should be afraid, right? Was he referring to me in that question?

"I don't know what you're talking about, father." His voice held no confidence like it usually was. I pictured him shaking and avoiding eye contact with the man, which I now know was his father.

"I can smell him, Reez. SHOW HIM." It took everything in me to fight the urge to abound from under the bed and face his father, but I couldn't. My sober mind could tell that it was a bad idea if I did, although I still had this desire to just face up and save Reez from trouble.

"I really don't understand, fa-" He tried to reason but was disrespectfully interrupted.

"Then where did you get that smell?" His father was now talking quieter, but I knew he was probably still as intimidating.

"Maybe I encountered one somewhere, I don't know-" A resounding slap echoed through the room as he couldn't finish his words. What followed was Reez hitting the ground, and from my view he fell face down.

"USELESS." His father spat, trudging out of the room, not forgetting to noisily slam the door behind him.

It made me angry. Reez was my only friend now and he dared to hurt him. If only I could've done something.

I crawled out of the space hurriedly and rushed beside Reez to help him up. I grabbed him by his arms and helped him get on his feet again. I took a glance at his face and I could tell he was trying hard to prevent his tears from spilling.

He must have noticed that I was still holding him by his arms when he was fully stood up because he slapped my hands away.

"Hey, it's okay." I reassured in my softest voice, hiding the anger that was surfacing within.

"No. It's not. You better leave." He commanded. And I get it, men have this pride that others shouldn't see them when they're weak, and I understood if he wants some space, but what I only want is for him to discern that I respected that and I will always be here for him, never judging him.

"It's okay, Reez. I get it." I tried to reach out to him, to stop his trembling, but he avoided my touch.

"No, you don't. You shouldn't have seen that. Leave, Gabe." He was persistent this time to let me go, ironic how the opposite happened yesterday. I was more insistent, however, not moving an inch even when he glared at me.

"Please, just let me help you-"

"YOU CAN'T, GABE." He raised his voice towards me. That stirred something in me because I was also getting mad at how stubborn he was. "You can't, so why don't you just get out of my room and forget this ever happened. You didn't see anything."

"I already knew, Reez." I think I shouldn't have blurted that out so easily but my anger was gaining control over me. He finally looked up at me without glaring. "Yeah, you don't hide your bruises that much."

My words seemed to have offended or triggered him at some point because this time, not only was he obnoxiously yelling at me to leave but he was also physically pushing me out. Not even out the door, but the window from where I came in.

"Get out." He ordered me, this time it was firm, unlike earlier when he was facing his father. This was the Reez that I usually dealt with as a bullied student. And it scared me how painfully nostalgic it was of those times.

Like when he humiliated me in front of everyone else in the cafeteria by blocking my path with his foot, making my food spill all over the floor. Or like how he made fun of me in physical education for being so weak. Or how he disparaged me by calling me nerd, freak, ugly, dissocial, and many more. Remembering that now made me reckon how stupid I was to even put up with him in the first place.

With full indignation, I thoughtlessly jumped out of the window from his room on the second floor onto the ground. Luckily, I didn't break a bone or hurt my self, rather I landed perfectly in my two feet. I heard him gasp behind me from above but I dared not to turn around as I stomped away from the house, not bothering the cameras that would detect me.

I was so frustrated that I didn't realize I shouldn't be outside, but rather in my room as I was supposedly grounded. But I didn't have time to process that when I entered my house through the front door, shocking everyone who were in the living room.

"Gabe!" The twins beamed as they looked at me. They looked so much like a happy family at the moment and I couldn't help but feel as though I'm only ruining it.

"Aren't you supposed to be in your room?" My father's eyes were wide, but I can tell they were slowly transitioning and twisting to those of anger.

"Yeah, you would know if you would've checked. But you don't have the energy for that." I talked back. This time I knew what I was doing. I just feel so sad and bad about myself that I wouldn't care if I ruin more relationships that I had.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" My father yelled. His wife then covered their sons' ears because I saw them freeze on the spot. Now I feel guilty.

"Nothing. I just had a rough morning." I excused, walking past them to go to my room and do nothing for the rest of the day since I was still, in fact, very grounded.

"Rough morning. Where have you been?" I stopped in my tracks and face them with an unamused look.

"I just went out this morning to buy food, I knew you weren't going to invite me." I rolled my eyes. My father didn't like that because he stood up and strode to me.

"I am done with this bullshit coming from you, Gabe. I'm tired of you." He said through gritted teeth. I was still very apathetic and I couldn't care less.

"I'm also very tired of you, so why don't you just let me leave this hell?" I know, I just said I wouldn't be able to stand on my own and sustain myself, but my pride was at it's peak right now and it was difficult to lower it.

"If it wasn't for the promise I made your mom 9 years ago, I would've already dumped you somewhere else." He seethed. His anger was talking now and somehow that delighted me. They all say that angry minds tell the darkest truths, and I believe that.

"Good to know." I hissed. He seemed to have realized what he said because he uttered a weak apology. I might have felt hurt from that little discovery but I already had a hunch years ago, when I was first left out, when I was first made to feel unimportant, and right now he only confirmed it.

"Son, you know I didn't mean it." He reached out to me when he saw me turning my doorknob and unlocking it.

"It's fine. Don't think too hard about it." I said, facing the wooden door. He sighed as he retreated back to his seat on the couch. I entered my room without much noise.

I collapsed in my bed, staring at the ceiling. And within a second, I felt everything hit me and sink in. I couldn't prevent the tears from falling down. My heart felt too compressed in my chest and I was struggling to breathe. I fanned myself but the oxygen wouldn't enter my system, I remained like that for the next minute until I feel myself shut down, heart as heavy as the day from 9 years ago, but this time I was awake to the bad things that this world had for me.

•°•