Chapter 8 (Past)

I hugged my pillow closer to myself as I lay silently on my bed. The guilt that once gripped my heart was now choking me .like something dark and slimy rising up in my throat. I wanna scream but there's no sound. I'm Scared out of my mind.

Because of the incident with Tessa, which was reported as a suicide, we were allowed to go home early and let the police investigate. I tried my best not to look suspicious or anything. I couldn't look at Irma. I did manage a glance though. Happily talking with her friends. Concerned about what's going on. I was amazed at how good she was at acting. It totally made me doubt for a second about what I saw. How...? How can she act like nothing happened so casually, while I'm here feeling like I'm about to be caught red-handed doing something illegal. Tomorrow, we all will be questioned. What will happen? Will Irma be caught? Will...she drag me down with her? But.....the matter I most wanna avoid...

Will Tessa come back?

As expected today, a police officer came and started questioning us. A big guy with glasses and clever eyes. I've seen many movies to know they only question others if they suspect it's not actually a suicide case. Thinking that my feet began trembling.

"Good morning. My name is officer Charles and I need you all to tell me where they were at 10:00 am yesterday. The truth please ." he says calmly.

One by one everyone answers him .of course most of them were in class. As Irma's turn gets closer, my anxiety increases, and I try to find what to say if she blames me or something.

"Next " and then it was Irma's turn. I watched her as she calmly rose up from her chair. Face showing no sign of suspicion.

"I....me and Tessa had a fight in the music room," she says.

My eyes widen as I watch her lie with a straight face. Seriously? The police narrow his eyes.

"A fight huh? Any alibi ? " he asks.

Then as if looks could kill, she looks and points at me. I feel the whole class looking at me. Staring at me. I feel if they stare too hard they might know what I'm thinking about. When officer Charles looks at me, I start to panic.

"Lisa was looking for me yesterday. She saw us fighting. That's when we stopped and Tessa ran out of the room . " she says blankly. This is the first time she's looked directly at me since yesterday. Her eyes look honest.

"Is it true ? " he asks me. Everyone looking at me. Irma waiting for me to reply to her cruel lie. Everyone will believe her because they already know I was looking for her. This is it. I could tell the truth. Irma will be punished for what she did.

I open my mouth to say it. But....nothing comes out. I know why. It was because deep down I didn't wanna let go of my happy middle school life. I had friends. I hung out. I was social. No one ignores me or avoids me. No one treats me like an outcast. Now, I have everything I needed. Is it worth the lie? Now I know what Irma meant by ' your smart, right? '.

"Umm, yes. I was walking back to class and heard them fighting in the music room. I went in and they stopped . " is what I find myself saying. Feeling even more like I committed a crime. Guilty pressure weighing on me.

"Are you sure ? " the officer asks and for a second I get a horrifying feeling that he saw through me.

"Yes. It's the truth " I say.

Fortunately, he looks away and starts writing something on his notepad. I glance at Irma and she looks back at me. There's no expression on her face. It's just blank. But her eyes. I feel like her eyes are telling me.

' now were both murderers '

I feel a shiver down my spine and look away.

"There ARE signs of struggle on the victim so I guess that was the reason? What were you fighting about ? " he asks Irma.

"We had a sort of disagreement over something. It was....over a boy. There's a guy that she really likes but he actually likes me, which frustrated her "

I listened quietly as she told one lie after another. It's amazing how she can tell a lie with no hesitation.

"Do you know anything about her phone ? " he asks.

"Phone? No, I don't know anything about that " she says.

Wait. Tessa's phone. The one she was holding. I can't remember anything about that. Nor did I see it afterwards after Irma left. Did...she took it with her?

"I see. Ok then, next " he says and Irma sits down.

As the questioning went on, I looked at her. It was....normal. She didn't look at me but I could see how relaxed she felt.

The day went on and I didn't talk to her at all. Others invited me to hang out with them but I refused saying I just don't feel well. After school, on my way home I stood at the side of the road, thinking. It's ok, right? No one knows about it and soon everyone will forget about it. I will forget about it. It'll be alright. Just try to ignore it. Your not at fault anyway.

I look over across the road and watch as the cars pass by. There's a crowd on the other side waiting for the signal to cross the road. And just then, as if I had got struck by lightning, I see a familiar face.

Tessa, staring daggers at me and standing lifeless. In her uniform. She just stands there. Not moving or looking away. Just silently staring at me with cold eyes. No...no no no no no! why!? Why is she here!? She isn't supposed to be here. Does she want revenge? But Irma's not here. I look away, ignoring her. But it's as if she's staring right into me. Piercing through my skull.

I end up looking back at her. She vanishes as a car passes by in front of her. The signal goes red and people start walking in my direction. I didn't realize I was trembling and sweating so much.

As I walk home, the feeling of being watched sticks with me. The more I try to forget about it the more this feeling grows. The street at this time is almost empty. It's starting to get dark. Few kids playing here and there. A group of grown men discussing the other side of the street. People walking right and left. And of course, the dead.

I look here and there just in case she's following me. But fortunately, she's not. Was I imagining it before? Maybe it was because I felt so uneasy that I just imagined her there. It must be. It HAS to be. I mean....why would she follow me if she came back.

At home, while I have dinner with my parents, I completely ignore them as they talk about how their day went and some boring stuff. My mind goes towards what will happen from now on. Will the police figure it out? And what about Irma? Does she even feel guilty?

"Lisa! " my mom's voice brings me back to reality.

"What is it? "

"I asked what happened about that suicide case that happened in your school. It was on the news that all classes will be questioned. How did it go then " she asks as she takes a bite of her meal.

"How do you think it went? They only asked us what we were doing at the time she died. That's all " I answer looking down at my plate.

"You know, I think it's not a suicide. Maybe it's a murder. You better be careful Lisa. Maybe there's a serial killer in your school " my dad says jokingly.

"Oh please! Stop. That's not a nice joke " says my mom.

As I take a sip from my glass, my eyes drift towards the window. Our backyard can be seen in the dark of night. Our apple tree standing alone wrapped in silence. Upon looking closer I notice something under the tree. I narrow my eyes and try to focus.

It's a figure. A person.

I get creeped out. But as I'm about to tell dad that there's someone in our backyard, I suddenly realize who it is. Tessa. Once again standing still. Just staring.

I begin to choke on the water I was drinking. Which causes my parents to look at me with concern.

"What's wrong ? " mom asks.

"Nothing. Nothing. Well, I'm full now so I'll excuse myself " I get up and take my plate to the kitchen. After that, I run towards my room and close the curtains of my room window.

I wasn't imagining it. Shes ACTUALLY back. And she's following me. Worst of all, she saw me notice her. What do I do!? Why is she following me? Irma is the one who killed her. So why!?

I peek outside the window slightly from the curtains. No one. As expected. Why is she doing this? I look around the room thinking she might be here. But no. I look down at my hands. Trembling. I walk towards the bathroom to wash my face and calm down. suddenly I hear a sound from behind me and turn back with a yelp.

A pencil had fallen down. I anxiously look around the room again. Still no one. What's wrong with me? I'm starting to get paranoid. In the bathroom, I keep looking around to make sure she's not there.

Closing the lights and trying to sleep was even harder. The feeling of being watched was so strong it was suffocating. Every now and then, I look into the darkness of the room. Thinking she may be here and staring at me as I try to sleep.

"Please go away " I whisper. Nothing happens. Just the sound of the air conditioner.

"Why...? It's not my fault " I continue. But still no answer.