Forgiven just like that

" I am so sorry guys, it's my fault.

I thought I shouldn't put you guys in any kind of worry.

I even didn't wanted to tell them but, they suspected me and asked so had to tell them.

My intention was pure guys, I just didn't wanted you guys... "

I said taking all blame.

" Put your intentions back in your ass !

What do you think of yourself, huh ?

Few guys praised you for your work, they call you the best Detective of their department then, that doesn't mean you are the best in the whole world !

Do you think we can't do anything ?

Whatever you do are the only things that matters or helps to solve any case ?

Do you want to call all of us fucking useless ? "

Lauren said yelling at me.

" I didn't said any of that !

And you guys know, I don't think anyone of you as useless.

Every one of you is the best in your department. Why would I think... "

I said defending myself.

But Lauren and Jules joined the team.

" You don't have to say anything Derek, because actions speak louder than words !

You don't tell anything to anyone.

You keep all the secrets to yourself until the case is solved.

You could... "

Jules said accusing me.

" Jules they are called secrets for a reason !

We ARE supposed to keep them to ourselves ! Making it public won't let them be secrets, isn't it ?

That's why... "

I said getting irritated at their stupid allegation.

" Oh that's the thing ?

So, you don't trust US with the secrets !

You think we would make them public ?

Or do you think we would be the obstacles in your path of becoming the successful Detective ? "

Dominic said moving to their team.

Have he fucking lost it ?

" Dominic, you know I don't think that !

What's up with you guys ?

You all are accusing me.

No one is trying to understand why I did what I did ?

At least consider my intentions, Lauren !

At least you don't say that, bro !

You know fame is secondary in front of our friendship for me.

Why are you guys... "

I said almost crying.

" Wrap up your shit, Derek !

It isn't something that, you would throw a few emotional words and we would start crying and forget what happened here !

Now, shut up. "

Lauren said heartlessly.

" You...

Ok, fine.

Cole, don't you have anything to say to me ? "

I said sarcastically.

He just gave me a look and rolled his eyes.

" No.

I know why you did what you did !

Shut up you guys, his intention wasn't wrong.

He is right even if, he had told you, what difference you guys have made, huh ?

Even I had to surrender to him for the remaining case ! "

Cole said taking my side and telling the guys the truth.

" What ?

YOU are saying this ?

YOU are on his side ?

So, tell us why he did what he did ?

And you too are saying that we are useless ! "

Lauren said accusing Cole as well.

" I didn't called you guys useless !

But you are NO help to us in searching the evidence or proofs, now are you ?

Tell me ? "

Cole said the truth.

" If you guys won't let us help, how you would know if we can help you or not ? "

Dominic said getting defensive.

" Yes, let us help !

At least, let us TRY to help you guys ! "

Jules said seriously.

" Ok fine !

Derek, let them help us.

Tell them to do what you were gonna do.

And shut their mouth up ! "

Cole said crossing his arms.

They really hurted me this time !

Even Cole got that and took my side.

I haven't expected this from them !

They think I want to be the one to take all the credit and so, I don't tell them anything and did all it myself ?

I always say, I am the best Detective because of my sources and secondly because of my brain !

I never praised myself.

I mean, I really didn't wanted to put the guys in any worry, because I know how it feels to be worried all the time !

I don't even want to speak to them right now.

But, Cole asked me to tell them what was I gonna do next and let them help us !

" Ok.

Go and find Rachel and bring her to me...

I mean to Cole.

See you guys at home.

Bye. "

I said without looking at them and stormed out of the cafeteria.

" Derek, wait.

Derek ! "

Jules called from behind.

I left the room and before I took a single step I remembered, Cole has the key of the car, so I stayed by the wall, outside the room.

They were talking so loudly I was able to listen to them clearly.

" Why would he stop for you now, huh ?

You guys wanted to help us right ?

He told you what help we need.

Go ahead and search her and get her to me !

And by the way, he didn't told anyone of you because he really didn't wanted you guys to be worried all the time.

I know how it feels to be worried all the time and still continue to work !

Dominic, I didn't expected this from at least from YOU !

You were worried for a single day and you know how it feels to be worried.

And how hard it is to focus on our work with it !

Were you in the condition to do some major surgery ?

Do you think you could have done it without thinking about her ?

Did you worked today at all ?

What have you done in the whole day ?

How many of your patients did you examined today ?

Answer me. "

Cole said coldly them.

" Um...

I... "

Dominic couldn't answer.

" Be honest, Doctor ! "

Cole pressed for answer.

" No one. "

Dominic said embarrassed.

" And why is that so ? "

Cole asked.

" I was...

Thinking about...

Ashley... "

Dominic accepted even more embarrassed.

" What ?

What were you thinking ?

I mean... "

Cole asked pretending to be oblivious.

" If she is innocent or not.

And hoped she is ! "

Dominic accepted.

" Then why didn't you treated any patient ?

You could have thought about that while you were treating them, couldn't you ? "

Cole said sarcastically.

" Treating patients while thinking something else ?

I am a Doctor not a grim ripper ! "

Dominic said.

" Exactly !

I am not comparing our professions; but we need to work and keep our brain at place while thinking about many things at a time and solve the cases !

Are you getting it ? "

Cole said raising his voice.

" Cole, you can't say that ! "

Jules said getting defensive.

" Ok, fine !

I don't want to argue with you guys now.

He would be waiting for me, I have the car keys.

You wanna join us, Dominic ?

If yes, you have 5 minutes to wrap your day and come to parking and if not; all of you, start Rachel's search operation.

Ashley is asking about her every now and then ! So, Dominic ?

You in or not ? "

Cole said coldly.

" I'll come with these guys.

You guys go ahead.

See you at home.

And yes, we WILL find her ! "

Dominic said confident.

" Well, I wish you all the luck.

And yes, see you at home. "

Cole said.

Oh, Cole is coming, I better get out of here.

If he found me here he'll think I was just acting mad but wasn't !

I literally ran to our car.

I reached and turned to look for him but he wasn't there, good thing.

I pretended to be waiting for him.

He came after few moments and we got in the car.

He started driving on our way back home and I asked him to stop by my favourite restaurant so that, I could get something to eat.

It's one of my bad habits, overeating when I am mad or stressed out.

I grabbed almost everything they have in fast food and unhealthy food list and came back with his favourite sweet pineapple pudding with custard.

Once I got everything, he started driving back.

We were quite on our way.

I wasn't at all in the mood of talking then, uttering rubbish to get on his nerves was the last thing I wanted to do !

I was about to hit the play button for my favourite songs, which Cole too likes.

" You heard everything back there, didn't you ? "

Cole said without facing me.

" Sorry, what ? "

I said.

Oh fuck !

Did he saw me there ?

Did he saw me running out of there ?

How does he know ?

He turned towards me and asked once again.

" I said, you heard everything back there, didn't you ?

Heard everything what I said, everything they said.

You heard it, right ? "

Cole said softly.

" No, I didn't... "

I tried to lie.

" Don't you dare lie, you know you can't !

Tell me. "

Cole said.

" How did you know ?

Were you there ? "

I asked embrassed.

" I know you, Derek.

When Jules called after you, I knew you won't leave without listening what we would talk behind your back ! "

Cole said almost smiling.

" It's true I heard everything, but the reason you are giving isn't !

I left the cafeteria and before I went too far, I remembered you had the keys and I didn't wanted to spend money uselessly on cab or bus.

And if, I had took either of them, I won't be able to grab the food I wanted.

That's why I stayed.

And when, I heard you guys speaking, I couldn't get my feets away from there.

I love you, you know that, right ? "

I said sincerely.

" Don't get all cheesy ok !

I didn't praised you there.

I just told them what the truth was, nothing else. And you... "

Cole said lying.

" Awww !

I know you did that for me, love. "

I said happily.

" No, I didn't ! "

Cole said almost yelling to prove me wrong.

" Say whatever you want baby, I know you love me and you showed it by taking my side when, everyone was attacking me.

Thank you honey, it means a lot to me ! "

I said seriously.

" Keep your mouth shut, Derek !

I told you I didn't... "

Cole said still lying.

" And I said, say whatever you want to, but I know the real reason. "

I said with a smile.

" Fuck off ! "

Cole said almost in accepting tone.

" Yeah, love you too. "

I said smiling.

We reached home.

I took a long hot soothing bath and went to kitchen to heat my now completely cold food. When I was leaving the kitchen Lauren, Dominic and Jules came in.

" Look man, we are extremely sorry.

We misunderstood you. "

Dominic said.

" Done ?

Now, will you please excuse me, I need to eat it before it gets cold once again. "

I said picking up the food plate.

" Have you grown horns now ?

How dare you ignore us ? "

Lauren said crossing his arms.

" I guess because, um...

I am not your whore to do whatever you ask me to ! "

I said to Lauren.

" Oh, someone learnt to speak, huh ?

Then, let's go for it guys ! "

Jules said folding his sleeves.

Uh-oh !

I shouldn't have done that.

Fuck, these guys are gonna kill me now !

" So, what did you said ?

You aren't my whore, huh ?

Ok then, no problem.

I'll make you one now.

Come here you lill bitch ! "

Lauren said narrowing his eyes.

Run. Run. Run !

Oh god they got me.

Oh fuck, this bastard Lauren knows self defence and that rascal uses it as attack on me !

But if, I'll hit him back, he'll be on bed for weeks !Because self-defense is no where near to a commando training !

" Oh, god.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

You fucker Lauren, it hurts !

Stop !

I am sorry.

I am so sorry.

I won't do that again.

Stop !

Oh god, it hurts Lauren.

Jules, ask him to stop, man !

Dominic, I am not gonna pay you for my treatment !

Stop Lauren right now ! "

I like to make him feel proud that, his attack hurts me, when it feels like he is tickling me !

" Say I am sorry, Daddy ! "

Lauren said twisting my arm behind my back.

" I am so sorry, Daddy. "

I said erotically.

" Say, I'll be your good boy and I won't disobey you, ever ! "

Lauren said pushing me on the ground.

" Lauren ? "

I said in disbelief.

" It's Daddy !

And say it or I am gonna make your ass sore ! "

Lauren said spanking my ass.

" What the fuck are you doing, Lauren ?

Let him go ! "

Jules yelled.

" Oh you stay away from it, Mr. Judge.

Your judgement is not gonna work her. "

Lauren said being sassy.

" Lauren, stop hitting him.

He said he won't pay me for the treatment !

I'll get that from you, remember that.

And enough now.

Stop it. "

Dominic said interrupting.

" Say it bitch ! "

Lauren said pushing me more harder on the ground.

" I'll be your good boy, Daddy.

I won't disobey you ever.

Please forgive me, Daddy. "

I wispered the way he wanted me to.

" That's my good bitch.

Now, get me some of the Pizza you bought and I'll let you go ! "

Lauren said.

" Fuck off !

No messing with my food, bro. "

I said.

" Hey, I'll break your ass... "

Lauren said trying to pinn me.

" Before you do that, I am gonna break your ass ! "

I said.

I grabbed him and turned myself so that, he was laying on the ground and I was sitting on him ! And started hitting him.

Bloody bastard hit me so hard.

And now it's my turn !

" Oh. Oh. Oh.

Let me go Derek.

It hurts, bastard.

Let me go. "

Lauren screamed in pain.

Though, I didn't unleashed myself on him, but I hit him hard.

" Sounds familiar, huh ?

Then let's make it even more !

Now say, I am so sorry Daddy. "

I said twisting his arm behind his back and pressed them so that, they hurt more.

" What the fuck !

I am not gonna say it ! "

Lauren said twisting his lips.

" You asked for it ! "

I said calmly.

And I started punching him hard.

" Ouch, ouch.

Stop stop.

I am saying it.

I am saying it.

Stop.

I am so sorry Daddy. "

Lauren said moaning.

" Good bitch.

Now say, I'll be your good girl Daddy.

I won't disobey you ever ! "

I wispered in his ear.

" Bastard ! "

Lauren said trying to get out of my grip; trying the impossible !

" Bad girl !

And bad girls get punished for disobeying their Daddy ! "

I tsked in disapproval.

I hit him hard on his bum.

" Ouch !

I'll be your good girl Daddy.

I won't disobey you ever !

I am so sorry Daddy. "

Lauren said dramatically.

" Now that's my bitch !

I forgive you, baby girl.

Now, be a good girl and go, don't trouble Daddy.

Daddy will come for you at night and will take good care of my naughty and needy princess.

But for now, shu, shu.

Go away.

Get out of my way ! "

I said spanking his ass.

The audience was unfamiliar of our daily routine or different way of interacting with eachothers.

This was their first time to encounter it and so, they were surprised.

" God !

What are you guys ?

So...

Um...

Are you gay ? "

Dominic said almost disgusted with the way of our interaction.

" Are you homophobic ? "

Lauren and I said together.

We looked at each others and gave eachothers high five.

I gave him a piece of my pizza and went to my room.

I needed to be alone.

I know, Lauren will definitely come to me tonight to apologise.

I know him very well.

He is such a stupid bastard, he speaks everything without thinking for a bit and then, regrets for a long time.

He'll come to me and will cry like a lill baby in my arms !

I have grown used to forgive all of them, whether they apologise to me or not !

Sometimes I feel they don't care about my feelings.

I think they don't think of me as a human, like I can't have feelings and they can say or do anything to me and I won't feel anything.

I won't feel hurt, I won't feel disliked, I won't feel unwanted !

Many times I feel like crying for how they treat me.

But deep down, I know that they love me.

They have raised me as their own child.

They have kept me from any trouble in childhood. They haven't lived their childhood, but they gave me the chance to live my childhood as a child and not as grown up as they did !

They have worked and earned their own money. They saved it and studied and got jobs.

They didn't let me struggle and work for earning food.

They took all my responsibility.

They fed me, they paid my school fees and even helped me in my studies and helped me in choosing my career !

I don't hate them but...

I expect them to at least treat me as a human !

I don't expect them to treat me as a child but at least one among them.

They have never treated anyone else the way they treat me !

Knock knock.

And as expected, knock at my door at 9 pm, sharp !

" Yes Lauren, get inside the door is open. "

I said.

" Oh, you knew it was me ?

How come you always know... "

Lauren said getting inside.

" We are together since childhood, bro.

I know you inside out.

You got tissues, don't you ?

I am out of them at this moment !

Oh, but I've got toilet paper for you ! "

I said chuckling.

" Tissues, toilet papers ?

What for ?

What are you talking ? "

Lauren said as usual oblivious about him crying out loud as child.

" Nothing.

We'll come to that part eventually.

So, tell me how come you missed me ?

Oh, my poor baby girl is hungry and wants Daddy to take care of her hunger, huh ?

Strip and lay next to me and Daddy will take care of the rest, just as he promised ! "

I said running my fingers on his arm.

" Shut up, Derek ! "

Lauren said sadly.

" Ok, fine.

So tell me, what are you doing here ? "

I asked making him say he was sorry and feeling guilty for hurting me.

" You claim to know me inside out then, you must be already knowing what am I doing here.

Don't you ?

So you tell me. "

Lauren said avoiding to accept that he was sorry and wanted me to forgive him without him admitting himself.

" Daddy doesn't have time for your dramas, lill girl.

Just tell Daddy what do you want. "

I said putting my hands behind my head.

" Don't be so hard on me dude.

You very well know why am I here, so get it already, man ! "

Lauren said almost embarrassed.

" If you feel this embrassed to talk about what you have done then, just imagine at what level it would have hurted me ? "

I said softly.

" I am extremely sorry, man... "

And there we go !

He started crying like a baby.

He always does this.

He himself speaks anything without even thinking about it and when, it comes to me to say something, he starts crying !

I mean, how could you scold someone who is claiming to be embrassed for what he have done and crying infront of you ?

At least I can't be that heartless !

And this is the reason these guys misuse my soft hearted treatment and hurt me always.

I'll try to be hard now.

" Stop crying for god's sake, will you ?

Why are you crying ?

Have I said anything to you yet ?

Have I spanked your ass for being a bad girl ? Then why are you crying ? "

I said irritated.

" I am so... embrassed for... what I said to you.

And that's why... I am crying.

I am... feeling... guilty ! "

Lauren said between his sniffs.

I must admit, he looks so cute when he cries.

He never cries infront of anyone else other than me !

And I love him for that.

I am very special for him, since always.

He haven't cried infront of anyone among the guys; except for childhood !

Whenever he feels low, whenever he hurts me, whenever he misses his family, he comes to me and cries his heart, lungs, kidneys and everything out !

He cries so much, at one point I feel, it's easy to stop some child from crying but Lauren ?

Oh no no no !

He isn't easy to handle.

Everytime he comes to me for crying, I have no other option than, throwing that shirt away. Because he gets my shirt soaked in his tears !

" But 'I' heard it from you guys, shouldn't I be the one crying ? "

I said.

" But you don't cry, baby !

And you know I am so sensitive, I can't stand hurting you. "

Lauren said wiping his tears on my shirt.

" Wow !

YOU become the one hurting ME and YOU only can't stand hurting me ?

Superb ! "

I said teasing him.

" Please don't tease me now.

Please forgive me.

You know I am so stupid.

I don't have any brains.

Whatever I say is stupid ! "

Lauren said pouting and crying.

" Yeah, so true. "

I said.

" Won't you...

Take me...

In your arms... Bro... "

Lauren said started crying out loud as I didn't comforted him in my arms.

And oh god, he started crying with his max speed. I am wearing my favourite shirt, I won't throw this one away !

I took off the shit and opened my arms for him. He literally jumped into my arms and hugged me so tight and started crying and speaking all at once !

And I NEVER get a single word he says while doing that.

It's like, watching a French movie without subtitles !

I let him cry.

He is stupid, he hurts me but, at least he has the courage to come and apologize to me for that.

But the others ?

They never say sorry and if they did, they don't mean it.

And that is why, he is my best buddy !

After some time the others came in and saw us in a super intimate position !

I was shirtless and laying on my back and he laying besides me, resting his head on my shoulder.

His face nuzzled at my neck and his legs and hands all over my body.

He was almost wrapped around me and we both were sleepy.

HE due to the crying session and I was tired of the long day !

" Oh, so finally Daddy took care of his needy lill girl, huh ? "

Dominic said teasing us.

" What ?

Oh, what are you guys doing here ?

And why didn't you knocked ?

What if, you had witnessed something very private and improper, huh ? "

I said teasing him back.

" Would we have seen any more improper ? "

Cole said rolling his eyes.

" Oh yes ! "

Lauren said with a moan !

And nuzzled more to my neck.

He is truly my buddy !

Once I start something stupid, he always takes my side and say something even more stupid than that !

" Come on you guys, get up now.

Let's have dinner. "

Jules said shaking his head.

I dragged my hand over Lauren's back slowly and slapped his butt.

" I just had my dinner !

And it was so delicious.

How was it for you, love ? "

I said making the others more uncomfortable.

" I loved it Daddy ! "

Lauren said licking his lips.

" Fuck you !

You guys coming or not ? "

Cole said getting enough of our drama.

" I am full.

Baby girl you must be hungry ! "

I said caressing his head.

" Yup.

I am coming.

What are we ordering for the dinner ? "

Lauren said getting up.

" We are going out.

You wanna join us, Derek ? "

Dominic asked me.

" No.

You guys go ahead.

I need to search Rachel...

Or shall I wait for your help ? "

I said sarcastically.

" We said we are sorry for what we said ! "

Jules said crossing his arms.

" Oh, did you ?

Actually I didn't heard anything of that kind ! "

I said crossing my arms.

" Shut up now.

Go on do your work.

But, join us now and afterwards you can do your work. "

Jules said softly.

" I already ate too much, am full.

I won't eat anything so, I what would I do there ? "

I said.

" Ok fine.

You stay home and guard it till we come ! "

Dominic said chuckling.

" I said I need to search her and that isn't possible from home.

You guys take Jules's car and Cole, yours is mine tonight ! "

I said.

" Ok.

Keep me updated.

And tell me if you need any help. "

Cole said throwing his car key at me.

" Huh ?

Oh sure, sure.

What about your men ?

Did they found anything about her ? "

I asked.

" Nothing yet.

What are you gonna do ? "

Cole asked curiously.

" I don't know.

Nothing decided yet.

I'll think about it after leaving. "

I said shrugging.

" What ?

You would decide it on the way ? "

Jules said surprised.

" Yes, Mr. Judge.

Nothing happens as per planned !

So, I never plan anything.

I go with the flow and collect what I get. "

I said.

" And get what you want ?

Just like that ? "

Lauren said scoffing.

" No, I don't get anything just like that.

I need to find it out with my eyes and ears and after that, I get that ! "

I said defending myself.

" Ok.

Use your eyes and ears and find her.

Lauren, let's go.

You have 10 minutes to get ready. "

Cole said leaving.

" Yup.

See you Daddy. "

Lauren said blowing me a kiss.

I spanked him once again.

" Be a good girl or else Daddy would need to punish you ! "

I said teasing him.

" Fuck off man ! "

Lauren said showing me middle finger.

" Yeah, love you too.

Bye bye. "

I waved them bye.

They went for dinner and I went to meet my sources.

I told them that, we need to find Rachel.

I went to her Mom's apartment once more and there was something different.

Like someone changed what I left the apartment like.

Who could it be ?

Now we must find Rachel by hook or by crook !

I asked few of my men to join me and we got her bank account details, her credit card details and all other money related details and I told my sources to keep eye on the transactions if any, and find the location of the transfer.

But unfortunately, I couldn't do more than that tonight.