Small Obstacles

2094.

The day had finally come, the D-day, I had waited for this moment for four solid, painful years, with no one to talk to but my manager who had not an incline of what I felt, but always managed to pretend that she does, and fellow bereaved Extras that had lost their entire family, just like me, and just like me, they were incredibly depressed, which was the opposite of what I was four years ago, when I believed one could get blissful happiness.

I got up from bed, with the same feeling I have been carrying for the longest time, hurt, and pain, and sadness so pitiful that it made me want to tear up every morning, but I wore the expression that I had now become accustomed to, the expression of emptiness, it was the shield that protected me from the pitiful looks I got.

I picked my cooling pads, the one I wore yesterday, and inserted them into my boots, the new one was not far away, and although it was always advisable to wear a new one every day, I liked the old one better, it allowed the heat from the ground to pass through it a bit, and the pain helped me deal with the other pain in my heart that most times made me immobile.

I put on my now staple colour, black, and not because I was depressed no, instead it was because the last time I saw my family, that was the exact same colour I was wearing, and June, and ma, and pa, said I looked beautiful in it, so I wore it everyday to look beautiful, for them.

Then finally, I put on my face mask, and sat back on the bed. I checked the time on the rectangular clock on the table of the room that was exactly like myoldroom, and it was 4: 50am, if things went as planned, then the authorities should be here in ten minutes to carry and load us into the ship, and then my struggles of life would begin.

4:59am, my eyes glued on the clock, counting down with it until the last second, 5:00am, I frowned and shot out of bed, the authorities are never late, not even for a second. Maybe it was because there were a lot of people getting on the ship today. So I waited, 5:01am, I was already standing in my monitoring room, waiting for the scanning to end so I could match out.

"You are advised to change your cooling pad, or you might experience some slight discomfort on your feet, if you still intend to continue your day without changing your cooling pad, then please proceed to manually open the door using the button, to your left." The computerized female voice said. Annoying thing about the computerized room and the computerized voice, you cannot manually unlock the door until the voice was done speaking, and every day, the voice that I once practiced to speak like started to sound more and more like unwanted, uncomfortable, unpleasing, and incessant noise.

I continued to push the button, while she spoke and the door finally opened, and sure enough they were rolling out people from their rooms, like the two rooms besides mine, to the left, and to the right. They skipped my room?

I didn't speak to the workers, only because from experience I knew they wouldn't speak to any of us, so I marched down to the recreational center, from what I learnt, when the ship docked, that is where it connects, and even though the workers were taking the employee route, that was where they were heading to.

I took the normal route, and as I was about to enter the monitoring room, I got dragged aside by the hand. "Where do you think you are going to miss December?" Violet, my manager asked, she was the one in charge of my mental health, and considering I was still alive, she was doing good in her job, she was also the one I went to when I needed advice, or needed someone to talk to, I am sure that by now she has gotten used to me never entering her office unless it was compulsory. Basically after Grey murdered our families, we were given a "guardian." that was called a manager, and Violet was mine.

"How can you, at this time ask me where I am going to, you should be asking me why I was out here and not in the stupid ship with my mates!" I practically screamed, looking through the glass barrier at the ship as they loaded the very last person. "Violet, do something!" I shouted, tugging at her arm. My heart was beating faster now, and my feet, burning more than I appreciated.

But she wasn't, wasn't even acting as if she wanted to help, instead she was looking at me weirdly, a deep frown etched between her brows, her eyes squinted, her lips pressed into a thing line, she was looking at me as if something was wrong with, me, not with the fact that I was still standing in front of her, instead of in the ship. "December Blake, are you alright?" she asked confirming what she was thinking.

"Of course I am perfectly fine. - I said withdrawing from her, disbelief living in the lines of my frown, as I began to enunciate each word so she would understand it clearly. - I am perfectly healthy, healthy enough to be on that ship, and if you're not going to help me then I'm entering myself." I turned, marching with long stride to the entrance, otherwise known as the monitoring room.

I would have been there in only three strides, but I had only one foot in before she pulled me back, and held me in a trap hold on the shoulders. "December, what made you think that you would be travelling with this batch?" she asked with a funny smile on her face, she was trying not to sound mean, but no matter how soft and soothing she sounded, it couldn't take away the sting I felt in my heart, nor the single breath it stole from my lungs.

"Uh maybe the fact that I was moved to a different room, and that I have been receiving training on how to be as efficient as possible in order to help us survive, and the other fact that both my room neighbors are currently on that ship!" I screamed, pointing at the vessel in the other room that was now beginning to close. I tried pulling loose of her strong hold, but it was useless, the woman with purple hair and golden brown skin was two times my size, and possessed twice my strength. "Please Violet, if you won't help me then let me go."

"Oh honey." She said pulling me in for a forced tight hug, I continued trying with all my strength to push free, and she was succeeding, with great difficulty, to keep me in place.

But my face was still turned in the direction of the ship, and I watched with quickened breaths as the ship started to pull away. "No, no Violet, Violet PLEASE!" I started again to scream, louder, but she wasn't listening. "Violet, I cannot stay here another year, please I cannot stand it. PLEASE!!"

"But you have to darling." Was her simple reply as she continued to hold me to herself, and I continued to struggle while screaming for her to leave me, and the ship continued getting further and further, until it went out of sight, and the doors closed back, then she let go of me.

I stared into the room a glass away, and there wasn't a single hint that the ship had ever been there. "What have you done?" I screeched. My body was limp, still, I took one step after the other away from her, heading back to my room, she said nothing, neither did she follow me, she just let me walk, like a lifeless mannequin, like a puppet back to my room. My thoughts were blank, my brain too tired to think about what expression my face wore, to put up my soulless facade that was my shield, my protection. I would just go back to my room and sleep I thought, I would not be affected by this, I thought, but I found my checks wet, and my hands trembling, and when I got to my room, I fell face flat on the bed and cried my eyes out until sleep took me.

I woke up to the most horrible head ache, my bones felt heavy, and tired, and I was incredibly cold, my entire body was fighting against me.

"You have a fever."

The pounding headache shot up the moment I heard the voice of the only person the monitor room allows through the door except from the owner of the room, my manager. "I know, and it is none of your business Violet." I said with a sneer.

"On the contrary it is literally what I was employed for, and I have called for a physician." She said seemingly unaffected by my rudeness.

"I am not going to see a physician." I said sitting up too quickly, and instantly regretting it. I hissed holding my head in place with both my hands just in case it fell off.

Violet pulled the chair she was sitting on closer to the bed, then she leaned in so her face and mine was at the same level. Then she spoke in a low tone. "Tell me Ember, are you hurt by what happened?"

I glared at her, hard. "Don't you ever call me that, don't, you, ever, in all your life call me Ember ever again, Violet. I hope you are happy now huh?, your happy that I am still locked up here, in this cage, in this STUPID hole with you! " - I laughed, but it tasted bitter, and sounded sad even to my ears. - "I guess I should not blame you, I should blame myself, for trusting the process, the damned stupid, lying, murdering process!"

Violet was staring at me, sitting back on the chair, with her arms crossed. "What has the process done to you?" she asked, her voice calmer than I appreciated.

I scoffed. "What has the process done to me? What has the process done to me! Well you are part of the process aren't you, that is why you would want to protect them, that's why you would sit there and ask me this .... this, question. But tell me this, how exactly would you explain what happened today, this very morning when, YOU, - I said pointing at her,- stopped me, huh, how do you explain that?" With wide eyes and my lower lip tucked between my teeth, I waited for her reply. I was fidgeting, and if I let myself, I would have already thrown something at her, just to remove the calm from her face. But I knew her, and I knew that wouldn't be enough to rile her up.

"December, how old are you?" She asked, resting her cheek on her palm while she stared at me like I was a child.

"EIGHTEEN!!" I spat, saying the word as raw as I could so it would get into her head.

"No my dear, you, are seventeen, you will be eighteen in December, you are two months younger than eighteen, if I had let you into that ship then you wouldn't have been able to handle the sleep incubator, in other words, your brain would have fried. Do you think I have not gone back to see my family because I love the food so much, or maybe because I enjoy your snarky company? No my dear, I haven't gone back because for me to come here, my body was exposed to some certain chemicals that take no less than fifteen years before my body will be strong enough to experience that again, so maybe next time I'll let you get into the ship so you can face the consequences. But then next time you would be old enough wouldn't you? Yeah you would, and I will still be here dealing with messed up kids like yourself!" Violet was vexed now.

"At least you have a family the system took mine from me!" I screamed, she wasn't going to win this round.

"Boohoo darling, the system took your family from you, well, the system took me from my family, and them from me. If you do not like the system, stop sulking, grow up, get your behind out of this room and be active, and when it is finally your turn to leave, make sure you are in the highest class so you can change the damned system, because even I am honestly growing tired of it. Don't just sit here looking for who to blame."

"Maybe I will." I shouted back for no just reason, I wasn't even angry any more.

"Good!" Violet shouted back.

"Good!"