Chapter twenty three

It's not the first time he's seen her like this, but it's the first time she's almost killed herself. Fear invades him and it is just this factor that generates that energy unique to the two of them.

Yes, it is true that we are all afraid, but not for the same reasons. Only when someone fears for the life of another being, that magnetic field that surrounds them through an irremediable attraction is produced. Besides, they have known each other since they were children, which makes it even more intense and unbreakable.

Have you noticed that the wrinkles on the neck have a helical shape?

A shape similar to that of a spring and a spring is flexible, just like passion. This is a feeling that can go a long way whether it evolves or not... I think Alexis gets the vibe from my words.

I say this as he squeezes her waist as if her fingers were roots and her waist a lake, maybe it is for him.

"The connection is regenerating at full speed.

This bond, its vicious circle and my magic act.

What do you think demon how my whole narrative of emotional introspection is progressing?"

I don't know what Alexis is talking about but I will soon find out because while demons don't have souls...this demon wasn't always a demon was he?

I take her silence as affirmation.

While the demon can't get out of Luz's head; it can shadow its flames in Alexis's eyes and it just did.

This is a little secret little secret for you to understand me better:

"Before the triangle was a circle. Nowadays; at least, in the case of human beings, it is first the deadly triangle and then it spreads in the whole circular shape of the globe.

Here is a deadly triangle:

Luz's phobia, Alexis' fear and the demon's terror. This is the famous vicious circle I was telling you about... the mental bermuda triangle."

Terror in the form of jealousy caused the demon to invade Alexis' field of vision with the shadow of its flames. Behold TOU CHÉ BABY.

Thanks to this I will be able to narrate to you from Alexis' perspective. Yeah, cheers to me, YEAH.

I want to lay my cards on the table before I continue with this diary of a teenage heart.

Because I called this vicious cycle a magic act?

Because the vices of love, in this case, through the shadow of Alexis' flames will create for him the illusion that he can understand the strange girl who got into his thoughts.

And it is my magic act because without my words the demon would not have missed the shadow of her flames. This shadow is the light of Alexis' shadows; for it will clarify the doubts he has about her, or so he will believe.

What will the demon make Alexis see about Luz?

Undoubtedly it will be something between truth and fiction as this diary.

Why were the words necessary?

I bet you were expecting something more "epic in your eyes"; but here the thing is to make it "epic for the teenage soul". I don't know about everyone, but Luz is certainly selfish; so this may have only been epic to her soul. However, be FRESH because I'll fix that.

Of course first; before I play mental plumber, I'm going to satisfy my curiosity regarding this kid's perspective:

I hate it when she lies but I hate it more when she lies to herself. What's worse is that her words could confuse me and two clueless people seems like the start of a bad joke.

I'd better get away before she wakes up or.... God, she's doing it again, her thumb is caressing my palm and it's so frustrating not being able to talk to her without.... hell, I can't even be close, I can't even be far enough away to... and what good would that do too?

I pull away when he starts to move. I remember the first time I saw her in her delusional states. That day my mother and her mother were going to have a sleepover together. We were ten years old but it seemed to us that they were acting like two of those silly teenagers that we really found unbearable.

I never liked Luz, from the first time I saw her I knew she would be a problem in my life. She would make me not be able to sit still, we almost killed each other because of her exaggerated curiosity. The time we almost killed each other because she decided, "I have to remind dad that it's my birthday so I'm not going to let him work. Today I'm going to become his shadow"; yes, Luz decided it was time to get her driver's license.

I thought she wanted to kill me but when I heard she almost killed herself by running and then resting her wet body on the pastry counter. Not for nothing, but we had been taught in school that water conducts electricity very well. She knew that that counter with those desserts in it was powered by electricity. Luz justified herself with a question: "And why does water conduct electricity? I remember the chemistry teacher tried to explain but she responded with another question. I thought that maybe she knew the mayeutics of Socrates to put in evidence the ignorance of the old professors of those times called sophists.

Then I knew that I was not her problem, it was either herself or someone I did not know.

The first time I saw her rave was when I was 12 years old. Our mothers were in my mother's room and we were in the garden. Luz had fallen asleep watching the stars at night. We were both lying on the grass until I left for a moment to get some lemonade. I planned to give her her glass when she woke up but was startled when I saw her talking and rolling back on the grass. I didn't scream, I was just stunned and, as malevolent as it sounds, fascinated. She had awakened my curiosity about the world and especially about her mind.

Within a year I realized that she narrated her dreams in her sleep. I have a collection of all her stories. I would die of shame if she knew. Thank goodness she is unconscious, although I don't think she will be for much longer. She moves her head and neck in a tempting way, I'm sixteen now and I hate it.

When I was fourteen mom worried that I was the shortest boy my age. She started watching me more and noticed that Luz was keeping me awake at night.

So much happened when we left, maybe too much for us to remain friends. I came back a sportsman and something else that I can never even think of, all as a precaution.

She doesn't move as much as she did when she was 12, but I still see her as too enigmatic to ignore.

Today in the woods she narrated absolutely nothing, but I know she was dreaming because I moved closer and rested my ear on her chest. Then I heard again after two years the melodic rhythm of her heart.

I swear I have been resisting, I have been fighting against myself since I came back not to spy on her while she sleeps. I wanted so much to stay in the tree near her window to listen to her and see in her face the innocent girl I remember.

It was months of resisting, but this camp was a must-see opportunity. However, it all broke down when that guy showed up and now she thinks it was him. I can't get her out of her mistake but I want it so badly.

Nothing can ever be the way it used to be anyway, nor how I would want it to be at this point. I have collaborated in her suffering, I released that video of her talking to herself and I have no realistic justification.

I can't even console myself, thinking about the reasons why I have acted as I have so far... as it has to go on.

What am I going to tell him when he wakes up?

I should have thought about that before I received the past since he just screamed and I covered his mouth with my hands.

Small glimpses of nervousness as I feel the wetness of his lips soaking my fingers.

"Quiet or they'll think we're awake."

She recognizes my voice and still jerks to try to push me away. I would never tell her but I thank her mentally. When I'm on my nerves I start talking nonsense that is beside the point. Besides... I'm just nervous.

"Alexis, Alexis why is everything dark? You're Alexis aren't you?"

I'd better ask me questions and distract my mind.

"The camp people turn off all the lights to make sure no one walks around at night."

"And that's why it has to be all the way to the dark room?"

"I'm supposed to be all alone in here and asleep like a little baby."

Luz thinks somewhat stunned, "My little baby is the one who's going to cry." Sometimes she feels guilty for having bad thoughts and on top of that being so hypocritical to disguise them with her double entendre. Although on this occasion she feels rather confused in the good sense of the word (note her double meaning).

"So it's just you and me in your room alone and in the dark?"

Alexis opened her eyes wide at the amusement of the situation. Best to find the bright side of things if she wanted to keep her cool.

"Hey, relax I only brought you here because I don't want to be an accomplice to a suicide."

"Suicide? I was not and am not going to commit suicide. Adolescence is expensive; but nothing that can't be paid for with reflection fees and a few cents worth of frustration."

Luz is a little dazed and her muscles are tired as if she had run a marathon.

Naturally she is always tired when she wakes up from one of her extravagant dreams, but today she is more tired; so she supposes that this is the heaviest dream she has had in her almost 16 years of life.

"Don't come to me with your reflections now. The bakery thing I considered a lack of expertise on your part, but this is a suicide attempt". Luz shakes her head as if he could see her in the darkness.

"The equipment you had takes you to the sound you really want and led you to the Bermuda Triangle. Even if you deny it, your subconscious wants to beat you to a pulp."

Luz is eaten up with helplessness for not being able to throw something at his head or put something in his ear to shut him up.

"What about you, why are you following a suicidal woman? Could it be that your subconscious wants to beat you to a pulp?"

Alexis takes his comment funny and feels like she is talking to the girl she met before she left.

"Look miss you better eat your mush, mash it up good and then come and flip me the cake." He is pleased to be able to smile more since she can't see him even a little bit even. "I didn't follow you to begin with, I just like music too and by teleporting my auditory sense, I heard the sound of the bermuda triangle. I just followed the sound because it's obvious that whoever wants to hear that sound must have more hair than head and I got it right."

Luz has abundant hair, perhaps more than she would like given her lack of patience to comb it. Mostly due to her family's lack of money to buy a new comb every time one gets caught in her thick hair.

"You're such a lout."

"I still saved your life from an invisible enemy. You owe me respect for life."

Luz throws herself on the bed, which makes her wonder where in the room Alexis is.

"Where are you?"

"Wherever you want my verses to be."

Luz's skin tingles at his sly laugh.

"I'm serious."

"So am I. In the dark it's not the image that matters but what you hear, it's the realm of words."

Luz smiles unconsciously and; if this is not happiness according to the most rational human beings in the world, well they better look at the other students because she is not going to give in to her feelings.

"Is this where I should be impressed by your big head and little stallion hair?"

Alexis certainly believes there is no better paradise than when the two of them talk nonstop.

"This is my kingdom my dear and my big hairy place is not suitable for cardiacs."

Luz never imagined in her wildest dreams that they would ever be talking like this again. Then she thinks, "Let there be no doubt in my mind that reality trumps fiction."

"Seriously speaking do you like music?"

"Unfortunately yes."

"Unfortunately?"

"You already know what I mean." She tries to remember but nothing comes to mind. Maybe it's the effects of her near-suicide. After all there was technology in the midst of the crime she was about to commit against herself.

She hears the chords of an acoustic guitar and her heart vibrates like a little girl's for a new doll. She doesn't interrupt him in his playing until he finishes.

"Can you sing?"

"No, not now and not the words to this tune."

"Why?" asks Luz disappointed.

"Because if I were to sing you a song it would be inspired by your mind and dedicated only to your heart."