My eyes scanned the list,my heart sinking with each passing moment.I had been waiting for what felt like an eternity for my exam results, and now, my worst fears were confirmed. I hadn't made the list.
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I felt all hope slipping away. I had been so sure I had done well, so sure I had a chance. But now, it seemed like all my efforts had been for nothing.
I felt like I was drowning in a sea of despair, unable to catch my breath. My mind raced with thoughts of what I could have done differently, what I could have done better.
I threw my phone across the room, watching as it bounced off the wall and landed on the floor with a faint crack. I didn't care. I didn't care about anything right now.
I collapsed onto her bed, burying her my face in her pillow as the tears finally began to flow. I cried for what felt like hours, my body shaking with sobs.
Eventually, exhaustion took over, and I fell into a fitful sleep. But even my dreams were haunted by visions of failure and disappointment.
When I woke up the next morning, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. My head was pounding, my eyes were swollen, and my body ached all over. But it was nothing compared to the pain in my heart.
I spent the next few days in a haze of despair, barely leaving my bed or bothering to change my clothes. I didn't answer my phone, didn't respond to messages, didn't even bother to get out of bed.
James tried to reach out to me, but I pushed him away, not wanting to talk to anyone. I just wanted to wallow in my own misery, to let the pain of my disappointment wash over me.
James made it to the list but I didn't, my parents tried talking to me that it wasn't the end of the world but all they said felt like words that I couldn't hear. My heart was so sad cause of all the plans I had in mind to do with James, how we would stay in the same house and might start up something more than a friendship.
All that seems like a silly dream now. I can't even control the tears falling from my eyes or to even face James.
But as the days turned into weeks, I began to realize that I couldn't stay in this rut forever. I needed to pick myself up, dust myself off, and try again. Easier said than done, but I knew it was the only way to move forward.
With a heavy sigh, I finally dragged myself out of bed and began to take small steps towards recovery. I took a shower, got dressed, and even managed to eat a little something.