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The Defective Detective

(Updates are slow because of certain things) (Volume 1) Taking place in 2018, Mr. William Habitat has the ultimate deduction skills. Deducing the obvious when other people are not able to notice the obvious because they are that dumb. His companion Jane Surname is as sassy as she is brilliant. Together they solve cases and annoy each other like playful children. Join them as you cringe through their adventures with inappropriate jokes and a little bit of gore. (Volume 2) Year 2022. William Habitat and Jane Surname Habitat married each other but continued to consider themselves as best friends. They only married each other to take care and nurture and die together because, the thought of being a sweet couple makes them cringe. They moved to Norway with their pet dog Emily, named after William's sister. Everything was all good until William met a strange man who claims to be Sherlock Holmes, but we all know it is not him. Now they must figure out who this man really is (or was) while facing a man he claims to be Professor James Moriarty. Join them once again in this volume that's probably not as good as the first (Because... "Sequels") but still enjoyable (I think)

FranceBautista · Urban
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34 Chs

Part IV - Chapter III

"I can't do anything! I'm tied to a chair!" I explained

"Well, we're definitely not going without you!" said Jane. I quickly understood that there was no stopping her.

"How clear is the phone's speaker?"

"Well, whatever room you're in. It's very quiet and I can hear Sherlock's breathing on the other phone" said Jane

"Wait what? How is that possible? I can't even hear his massive ego"

"My what?" asked Sherlock

"He just asked what" said Jane

"Okay, Jane, listen to me! You don't need to see anything. You're going to have to find me by hearing. The same way I found you before. Except I sucked at it" I quickly explained "I'm gonna start tapping my hand, it'll be difficult because I'm all tied up"

"That's something I wanna see"

"Jane, this is serious!"

"Says the guy who complimented Sherlock's ego"

"Wha-? Just... shut the hell up and tell me if you hear the tapping"

I tapped with my hands tied on the back of the chair. Adjusting the strength of it to know which tapping she will be able to hear.

"I can hear the slightest tap" said Jane

"Good! Now I want you to walk straight. No other direction"

"You're going to get her lost!" said Sherlock

"I know what I'm doing!"

"William, I trust you" sweetly explained Jane "I'm walking now"

"Okay, now Sherlock. I know you're aware that you aren't the real Sherlock Holmes. But you think like him, and we need that big brain of yours"

"Give me a second" ordered Sherlock "These trees... they are not randomnly generated. They form a path. And the grass I'm stepping on... I see grasses flattened as footprints. When whoever placed me here took me to this spot he heavily stepped on the grass. I'm following it back to wherever"

On the other phone with Jane was a loud explosion.

"Fuck!" I heard her voice

"Jane! What's wrong? are you okay?" I asked in concern

"Well, I heard beeping noises so I kicked a rock that I was feeling on my foot and I guess it hit a mine. William, I'm scared!" I heard her tearing up.

"It's okay to be scared. A soldier doesn't go to war without fear. But a soldier still continues to fight because they have their country as their strength. There cannot be bravery without fear and you are a brave person! Now be a soldier and let me be your country!"

"Roger!" she exclaimed in confidence.

"And keep talking so I know you're doing all right"

"Yes, sir! I'm walking forward, carefully but surely. I hear another beeping infront of me. Try to walk around it. Now it's on my right, so now I'll proceed and the mine is now behind me. A few steps forward"

"That's good Jane, keep going!" I cheered

"William I hear something" said Sherlock "It's crawling and running around, It's crawling around me and it's getting closer"

I heard on the same line the aggressive growl of a dog followed by barking.

"It's a hound!" screamed Sherlock "That's a good dog, that's a good dog" I heard him scream and run away. "I'll get back to you shortly but you'll still hear my screams"

"God please slow things down!" I whispered to myself. Everything was going crazy constantly and I could not stop talking to one phone to catch my breath. I continued tapping for Jane to find me.

"William!" cries Jane "I don't hear any beeping, but the grass on my feet feel heavy by an inch, but I can also feel something to the rhythm of your tapping"

"Jane! I'm still here, and I love you, now if you die tonight I'm gonna suffer for as long as I fucking live"

"Thank you William for always giving me strength. I'm take a big step hoping I'll walk over it"

"What? that's a bad idea!"

"Well, I feel the two things on my left and right, but not the middle, I fucking deduce that this is a tripwire!" she explained

"Shit, I underestimated you. Sorry"

"I'll always forgive you! Now I'm raising my leg and taking one big step. Safe. Now I'm doing the same with the other and... I'm stilsafe! The rhythm to your tapping is getting closer, I can feel it"

"I guess you achieved an advantage when Cupcake blinded you.

"William!" cried Sherlock on the other phone "I think I lost the hound. For now, it picked up my scent"

"Good but can you pick up my location?" I asked

"Hold on, this tree. it's... unnatural"

"How can you tell?"

"It doesn't smell like a tree"

I heard the sound of strong punches against the tree followed by the opening of a hatch "It's a monitor for four cameras, and I can see you William, constantly tapping with your tied hands. I think. Look up"

And so I did

"Yep, it's you"

"What do the other monitors show?" asked I

"The paths the trees lead to, some sort of a cabin, and Jane"

"You can see me?" interrupted Jane on the other phone.

"Yes, behind you is a tripwire mine. But infront of you, are a lot more mines. I can see the room William is tied in, a cabin which I assume is where he's tied at, and a path to the cabin. You are going the right way. I'm gonna lead you"

The barking of a hound blew up the speaker as if to say it has found its prey. "Jane, If I'm gonna guide you, we'll need to be quick and I won't be able to count down now run Jane, run!"

The loud footsteps and panting of Jane indicated that she was now running.

"I hope you have good reflexes because of the mines. William, don't stop tapping! Okay Jane, I won't be able to count down but there's a mine infront of you. Jump!"

The sounds of panting, quick loud foot steps, and grunting on the phone connected to Jane's was all I needed to know that she was doing great!

"Quickly change your lane to the left, now back, hop with one foot and finally jump far! That's all I'll be able to help with, now the cabin is just a few more steps away and there is no longer any danger. It's smooth sailing for you. I have to run!"

Unfortunately, I heard the loud thud of his phone hitting someting followed by faint footsteps followed by faint growling and barking of the hound. He dropped his phone and all I can talk with, right now, is Jane.

"William, the rhythm is closer! I'm coming!"

"Yes!" I cheered "But I must not celebrate too early"

I heard her footsteps become louder as she ran. It took a few minutes more, but I heard a loud barge coming from the phone nearby just outside the room I am in. I stopped tapping and yelled

"Jane, over here!"

She quickly opened the door to the room I was in. The door was not luck.

"William!" she said smiling, reaching out her hand looking for my presence. When she touched my face she quickly gave me a hug.

"Let's get you out of here"

"Yeah, but how the fuck are you going to untie me? There's nothing we can use around here"

"Right now, all we can do is hope Sherlock made it and he gets here"

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「「You better hope he gets there before I do, because I'm coming! - Cupcake/Moriarty」」