Chapter 88: Alchemy's Embarrassment

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"Does Mars not have any satellites around it?" Fred was busy doing his homework. Not long ago, he frustratingly realized that he had missed the astronomy assignment, so now he had to rush to complete it.

"Mars has two satellites, but they are relatively small," Albert replied, flipping through a book while answering Fred's question. "The closer a planet is to the sun, the less likely it is to have satellites. Mercury and Venus, for example, have no satellites."

"Then... between Mercury and Venus, which planet is closer to the sun?" Fred wrote a few words on the parchment and continued his questioning.

"Mercury is closer to the sun."

A few minutes later, Fred stood up and stretched, passing the parchment across the table to Albert. "Finally caught up. Can you check for any mistakes?"

The homework for astronomy class was to draw a diagram of the solar system, including detailed drawings of the major planets and labels indicating the names and number of satellites.

Albert glanced at the diagram on the parchment and immediately spotted the mistake in Fred's assignment. He spoke up to remind him, "You got the positions of Saturn and Jupiter mixed up."

Fred took back the parchment and casually corrected the positions of Saturn and Jupiter.

After completing the homework, Fred picked up a fruit from the table and took a bite. He turned his head to George beside him and asked, "Are you done yet?"

George responded matter-of-factly, "I finished a long time ago."

Fred pretended to be angry and said, "Traitor! You secretly did the homework without telling me."

"I called you to do it together, but you didn't come. Who can you blame?" George couldn't help rolling his eyes at Fred's words. "I still remember what you said back then..."

"After you finish, let me copy it." Lee Jordan chuckled.

"Yes, that's what you said."

"And you didn't let me copy."

"You didn't say you wanted to copy!"

The twins started their usual banter, but in reality, they were just bored. If they were busy, they wouldn't have time for such things.

"What book are you reading?" Lee Jordan curiously asked. He had just finished today's homework and worked on it with Albert. The advantage of working together was that they could immediately ask questions and usually get quick answers, making it much faster than doing the homework alone.

"Foolproof Alchemy," Albert turned the book around and showed the cover to Lee Jordan. This book was "Simple Alchemy," recommended by Professor Broud.

"It seems like alchemy is not taught at school," Angelina walked over, holding a monocular telescope that would be used in astronomy class. She sat down on the two empty chairs next to Albert. "When are you guys going to the astronomy tower? It's almost time for class."

"Give it another ten minutes. I don't want to be up in the tower catching a draft," Albert took out his pocket watch and placed it next to him, continuing to flip through the book in his hand.

Unfortunately, the book was a bit thin, and even if he finished reading it, it wouldn't count towards his reading maniac task.

The author of "Simple Alchemy" was Zoko.

Yes, it was the same Zoko from Zoko's Joke Shop in Hogsmeade Village.

Honestly, Albert was a bit surprised when he saw the author of this book.

Of course, it wasn't difficult to guess what kind of content the book written by the joke shop owner would contain.

The book explained the relationship between alchemy and spells to the readers.

The once seemingly sophisticated Invisibility Cloak became a cloak that had been cast with a Disillusionment Charm in the book.

Yes, that thing became what they called an Invisibility Cloak.

The Disillusionment Charm disguised an object, making people perceive it as an inconspicuous stone by the roadside or something else.

However, for some wizards, using a Disillusionment Charm on a cloak was considered unnecessary because they could simply use it on themselves.

In fact, Albert didn't quite understand why Professor Broud recommended him to read this book. After carefully flipping through it, he finally found an excuse for himself—the book contained methods for making protective talismans.

Yes, the book described methods for making talismans, but it didn't involve using a Guardian Tree. Instead, it used a Banishing Charm.

Talismans made with the Banishing Charm could indeed repel some dark creatures, but at the same time, it would bring troubles to the wearer.

When you carried this kind of talisman with you, it became difficult to receive owl mail, as the Banishing Charm on the talisman would also repel the delivery owls. Typically, wizards who made talismans this way had average spellcasting abilities and couldn't further utilize the Banishing Charm.

The items produced, following Zoko's style, were simply meant for humor.

"Simple Alchemy" also recorded methods for creating some prank props. However, these eccentric items were not favored by most alchemists.

After finishing the entire book, Albert felt that it should be renamed to something like "Bizarre Alchemy," which would be more fitting.

Especially towards the end of the book, it described an alchemical item that claimed to repel vampires—the Garlic Cross.

Upon seeing the name, Albert almost burst out laughing.

The item was pretty much what the name suggested—it was a cross infused with the scent of garlic, based on the principle that vampires detest garlic.

The simple method to create a Garlic Cross is as follows:

Make a wooden cross, extract garlic using alcohol, heat the extracted liquid with beeswax or essential oil in a water bath, and finally apply the mixture generously to the cross, filling it with the scent of garlic...

Carrying a cross that emitted the smell of garlic had a certain inexplicable sense of amusement.

Well, this book really brought disgrace to alchemy!

"Is alchemy interesting?" Fred casually asked.

"Interesting? No, alchemy is not particularly interesting, but this book is entertaining," Albert closed the book and handed it to Fred. "After reading this book, my perception of alchemy has greatly changed."

"Let me have a look..." Fred flipped through a few pages and said regretfully, "This book is a bit too advanced for us; we can't understand it at all."

"If there were alchemy, it would be an elective for third years, but unfortunately, Hogwarts doesn't offer it," Albert said with a hint of regret.

"Let me take a look," George took the book and suddenly exclaimed, startling everyone around.

"What are you screaming about?" Lee Jordan glared at George in annoyance.

"Look, I bet you haven't noticed who the author of this book is," George said excitedly.

"Who is the author?"

"Zoko," George's attention was already deeply drawn to the methods for creating prank props mentioned in the book.

"Zoko from Zonko's Joke Shop?" the group asked curiously.

"Yes, that's him," disregarding George's resentful gaze, Albert stuffed the book back into his bag. "Let's go. If you guys are interested in this book, there will be time for you to read it."

"By the way, how did you become interested in alchemy?" George curiously asked as they climbed the moving staircase.

"When I was discussing dark magic defense topics with Professor Broud, we happened to talk about talismans. He suggested I take a look at this book, so I borrowed it from the library," Albert shrugged helplessly. "I just didn't expect the content of this book to be a bit unexpected."

Are those things in the book really considered alchemy?

Albert harbored his doubts on that matter.

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(End of this chapter)