Forty One.

Roane

The sky looked lovely tonight. With no moon, you were able to see the stars so much better. Living on the top floor of the building helped, but that advantage didn't come easy.

I have always been fascinated on nights of the new moon. The moon meant something to our kind. We believed that the God of the night and the Goddess of the moon were the ones who came together to create our species.

There are many different legends about how and why we came to exist in this world, but the story my grandmother shared with me when I was younger has always been my favorite by far.

Through the years I studied different types of lore and myth to see if I could find the truth in our existence and help me to figure out what went wrong with me.

Nights like tonight, that showed that there could be imperfections in the process of creating something so magnificent as the moon gave me hope and filled me with all sorts of feelings.

Days like today were always made better by nights like tonight. My apartment was created specifically to give me the best views of the city's skyline. With one entire wall made of glass, I could practically watch the entire city from here. 

It gave me perspective. When one can take a step back from a situation and try to see if from other's points of view, that is the only way that they can try to understand the minds of those around them.

Feeling like an outsider my whole life gave me a certain point of view, but in the past few years, I tried my best to force those old feelings down. While there had been some who reinforced those feelings, most tried to make me see something else.

I learned from early on that others will treat you a certain way more by the way they see themselves than by how they actually see you.

Today was a perfect example of that. When I had lunch with Xavier, I watched him more closely than I ever have before. Seeing the way that he spoke and reacted not only to me, but to Rogan was extremely eye opening.

Xavier was a confident man, but he felt inferior or intimidated by those who brandish their power. And not just the power of influence, but physical power. 

Many humans who are aware of the supernatural world find themselves either fascinated or envious of the abilities of what they saw as almost mythical beings. I included myself in that group of those who felt this way as well.

I know that we are not responsible for making others feel a certain way about themselves, but after spending so much time with Xavier these past few years, and especially in the past few months has shown me new sides to him.

While there is still so much that I don't know about his relationship with my parents, I know that he has always been faithful to my father's vision and that he truly cared for both my parents.

Knowing that I have the ability to put others at ease or completely scare the sh*t out of them helped me to always be aware of the way I was in front of humans.

Rogan on the other hand, was not just a narcissist, he was an egotistical bastard who took pleasure in making others fear him. I knew it from all of the reports that I've read about it, but seeing it first hand confirmed it.

Every thing about Rogan was strategic and done for manipulation from the way he talked to the way he dressed and even the facial expressions he made when speaking or listening to a conversation.

I hated to admit it, but he was creature like none other I've ever met and that not only worried me, but fueled me. From the moment I saw him step out of that car the first time, I saw it.

I saw what others see in him. He is handsome to the point of looking untouchable, but he doesn't over do his looks with accessories that would make him seem too far out of reach.

And the way that he walks, carries himself, and even speaks exudes a cunningly sharp mind and body. If he was anyone else, I probably would have wanted to see what type of deal I could make that would help benefit not only my company but my plans.

So, it was easy to see how Xavier could be intimidated by a man like this. What still bothered me though was the fact that he had stated that they had been friends once.

There had been little time for him to share any other stories, and I wasn't sure exactly how close they had once been, but watching them, I was able to see that there was a slight level of comfort there.

Rogan had showed up the way that he did today to prove that he had the ability to manipulate me and force me to bend to his will. Even though I was annoyed at his tactics, I had to admit that I was impressed.

The alpha of one of the biggest packs on this continent did not stay that way for no reason and I was secure enough to admit when even I was a little impressed.

One of the first things I noticed was that he showed up with two completely different guards with him than he had when he came the first time.

Even though I didn't know the way that his mind worked, I had a feeling that there was a bigger reason behind that fact that I should probably look into, or at least have Tristan or Micah investigate.

Thinking of them made that little ache in my chest stir. I knew that it was guilt, but it was also loneliness, though the guilt was really starting to become overwhelming.

Micah had responded to my texts and even answered a few of my calls, but Tristan had left every message unseen. I've checked everyday to see if he had shown up to his apartment or contacted anyone at the office, but no one has heard from him.

I knew that he was still in contact with Micah, but I didn't have it in me to ask him either. When Micah confirmed the information right before our meeting that day, he told me that I should talk to Tristan prior to walking in, but I hadn't listened to him.

I had reassured him that Tristan would be understanding of the fact that we had just confirmed the information ourselves and that he would be willing to play a bigger role in my plans. 

Stupid!

I had been so f*cking stupid to think that I knew better than Micah and assume to know how Tristan would feel.

Yes, we were friends, and had been together for most of our lives, but I never stopped to truly think about how hurt he would feel to not come to him immediately with this news.

I deserved his anger and resentment, but what I wouldn't be able to deal with is if he chooses not to come back. Not just come back to work, or to the apartment, but come back to me and our friendship.

Tristan deserved so much better and I knew that even though he talks a good game, is the first to throw a blow both by word and by fist, he holds the most sorrow and grief in his heart.

The look in his face when he saw her and realized who she was, was almost too much. I knew that my choices had hurt him. I had betrayed his trust and I had put myself and my wishes above his own.

Looking back I would definitely do it differently, but if he does give me a chance, I will apologize to him for the rest of my life and do everything in my power to not only get her back, but punish Rogan even worse for having her all this time.

I had planned to sit with him after the meeting and give him all of the information that I had obtained about her, and tell him how and when we had discovered who she was, but I was never given the opportunity.

"Tristan, where are you," I whispered as I sat there in the dark, drinking my beer, and just watching the world from my window. 

When my phone vibrated, it startled me so much that I almost dropped my drink. I had been thinking about Tristan and what I could do to possibly make up what I had done to him.

When I opened the screen, I saw that it was a message from Micah, and I was already up and moving before I had finished reading the full message in it's entirety.

Come to my floor, Tristan is here and we need to talk!

The apartment building that we lived in had twelve floors, including the two subterranean floors that we built specifically for Micah. No one else lived here and the two sub levels consisted of his office and his living quarters.

Sub level one was where he lived and I took the elevator straight there. Never had I been so annoyed by the speed of the elevator, nor been so nervous to meet with my friends.

I had practically ran to the elevator when I read the message so I still had my beer in one hand, and as I looked down, I saw that I was only wearing a pair of black sweats.

Chuckling to myself, I thought that maybe they might find my appearance amusing. Damn, I was really f*cking nervous. I was contemplating all of the things I should say to Tristan and which I should say first.

Should I just start off by apologizing?

Should I beg for forgiveness ?

The glass bottle in my hand creaked a bit from the pressure of my hand as I unconsciously squeezed it.

Damn it, why is this stupid thing going so slow, I should have taken the f*cking stairs.

My hands were clammy and I could feel the moisture on the back of my neck. Gods, you'd think I was some pup about to get scolded for something.

When the ding finally sounded for Micah's floor, I held my breathe as the sleek steel doors slid open. 

Micah's apartment was far nicer than my own. He was meticulous in choosing the absolute best things to decorate his space. He spared no expense when it came to the treasures he collected.

Every time I came down here, I felt like I was walking into a museum rather than an apartment, but to each their own Micah had always seen the world differently and I knew that it was because he had been raised to learn about the history of things and appreciate origins.

The moment the doors were fully opened, I saw that Micah was sitting on the long white couch he never let anyone else sit on, and Tristan was standing in the middle of the floor standing on a blanket that covered the plush carpet.

I probably would have laughed looking at them right now. Micah barefoot, in shorts and a shirt lounging on his couch with a glass of wine, watching Tistan with those vibrant eyes to make sure that he didn't drop a speck of dirt on his carpet.

Tristan stood on a black throw blanket that usually laid on the back of the couch, in nothing but a pair of navy blue cutoff jeans, but upon closer inspection I could see that he was not just sweaty, but a bit dirty.

Words escaped me, and once I took a step into the apartment, I just stood there like an idiot holding my beer in one hand with my mouth gaping open, and staring at them both.

"Well at least one of you knows to clean up before entering my home," Micah said with soft annoyance as he brought his glass to his lips starring directly at Tristan.

I would have smiled or even laughed if it wasn't right then that Tristan snarled at him and then turned his attention at me.

The look in Tristan's eyes was blazing. He looked half feral and I have never been more afraid of him than I was at this moment. We've fought many times, but never have either of us wanted to hurt the other.

Looking at him like this, I knew that something happened and I needed to hear what it was and see if he would give me the opportunity to help him. If he gave me the opportunity to apologize I would do that in between as well.

Tristan didn't say anything for along moment, I felt little prickles under my skin and I knew that my wolf was trying to tell me to be careful. 

Sh*t, if he was wary of Tristan right now, i needed to really watch my every word and move. I don't know how long we stood there watching each other until Micah finally broke the tension.

"If you two are done with the staring contest, can we move to the kitchen and have a conversation. I'll make something to eat, Tristan looks as if he hasn't had food in days."

Letting my eyes take in his appearance, I saw what Micah meant. Tristan looked as if he had been running through the woods for days. While he didn't seem to have lost weight, he looked different, hallow.

Still not speaking, he followed Micah when he stood up and walked over to the restaurant style kitchen. "Whatever you dirty, know that I will send you the bill for the cleaning," Micah called back to him stiffly.

Tristan chucked his teeth softly, but I took it as a sign that I was okay to follow them. Micah went and turned the fire on before walking to grab a few steaks from the giant fridge. I made sure to sit at the far end of the bar from Tistan in case he didn't want me near him.

The sounds of Micah in the kitchen were all that filled the silence for a few moments, and while I tried not to stare at Tristan, I kept sneaking glances at him every few seconds.

I knew that I needed to say something, so I built up what little courage I had right now and threw caution to the wind. "I'm so sorry for not telling you the second I realized who she was."

Tristan's eyes shot to me so fast and all I could do was stare back. Whatever he said or did next would only be what I deserved. His eyes blazed brilliant shades of amber and gold and it wasn't until the tears filled them that I knew I could never make this up to him.

Each tear was like a dagger to my soul and I deserved each scar they would leave. He didn't hide them or stop their flow and as they ran down his face, I saw the stain they left there.

No words could ever hurt as much as the scene in front of me and knowing that I caused him such pain. Any of the stupid apologies that I thought that I would be able to give him vanished.

Words could never make up for the pain I caused him. Eventually the tears slowed their trickle and I watched him compose himself and after a deep inhale, he finally spoke.

"I found her."

Micah and I were both staring at him now and even though I wasn't sure what that meant, I was equally as happy as I was scared of his next words.

Thankfully, Micah spoke next, "and where is she now?" His questions came out as curious, but I coud hear the unspoken question in his words, is she with you.

Tristan grabbed one of the pure white napkins that was perfectly placed on the marble counter top and wiped his face. I heard Micah's groan as he watched him and almost laughed.

When he spoke again. he looked different. More composed in a way, but also a little unhinged. "There. She's still there. She's been there, at Blood mist this entire time. Somehow he has been able to hide not just her, but her scent this whole time"

Micah placed a giant steak down in front of him, then me, and I watched his face as he did so. I knew while I was trying to understand the why in this situation, Micah was puzzling out the how.

My mind was running through so much information, but I suddenly recalled his first words and my words fell as quickly from my lips as they circled in my mind. "What do you mean you found her?"

When I looked between Micah and him, I saw that Micah was less surprised than I had been and I knew that I was missing something. 

Tristan, who was now tearing into his steak spoke in between bites. "I snuck onto Blood mist pack tonight with the help of Micah's concealment magic," he said so nonchalantly that I wasn't sure if he was serious or not, but he kept talking and I knew that what he said was absolutely true.

"The only reason I left her there was because I ran into Vincent and he told me that I had to leave her there for now. He said that there is a plan in place and she is currently safer there."

Shocked, I couldn't keep the thoughts in my head. "How? How did you escape? How did you leave without her if you found her?"

"Because Vit was my father's old Delta Vincent and he vowed to protect her until we can safely get her away from Rogan, or he will forfeit his own life!"