Unmarked Grave

Trigger Warnings for unreality/dream logic, sensuality, feelings of being trapped, symbolism connected to internalized homophobia and abuse, themes of death and being buried, blood, draining, and religious (Catholic) elements.

There was the sound of crunching beneath two pairs of feet before Max could finally see again. 

Max found himself standing within that yard, the dead sycamore tree's branches swaying above his head. He wore his black boots, firmly buried within the slick leaves and crunching the grass beneath. Though he was certain the leaves had come from the tree before him, the tree itself looked as if it'd been dead for years.

The house looked decrepit from there, with a couple of white shingles missing and several stains on its surface. Still, regardless of these inflictions, it shone brightly in the setting sun, which cast a long light onto Max's back and illuminated the objects sitting by the tree.

Headstones for pets and smaller pebbles for toys with crudely carved names in their surfaces were scattered underneath the tree. Several branches had fallen there as well, the pointed and discarded things grasping for the graves with slender fingers from beneath the leaves. The stones were all various shades and sizes, with their only similarity being their gray coloring. Yet, Max couldn't help but notice that one of them stood out more than the rest, pushed to the back and remaining completely unmarked. 

"You've lost a lot over the years, haven't you?" Sam's voice asked, causing Max to turn to the figure beside him.

A white man with red cheeks and a Rudolph like nose stood there, eyes creasing with smile lines. His outfit was red to match, with a beanie on his head and a scarf wrapped tightly around his neck for warmth. The rest of him was as pale as snow, his lips chapped and his mouth trembling with cold.

"Hello again. It's so nice to see you after all this time," he said, wavy and strawberry bangs bobbing as he spoke.

"You as well."

Max's heart began to beat slowly, turning back to the unmarked grave. It was mostly buried beneath the leaves, leading him to believe his original assumption may have been made too hastily. But, it was impossible to tell from where he stood. The only distinct feature the gravestone had was the large and partial crack at its top, looking like a log just waiting to be split in half. 

Max's feet and hands remained firmly in place, even as the wind attempted to clear the leaves without success. They were beginning to pile onto Max's feet as he just stared. The two stood there slanted, the tree in the middle of that steep hill.

"Like I said, you've lost a lot. But do you even know what you've lost?" Sam asked, lips pulled into a smile.

The action only made them crack more, bleeding out onto the fuzz beneath his bottom lip. Though Sam didn't seem to notice, keeping his expression as friendly as always, no matter the circumstance.

With raised brows and some reluctance, Max looked closer at the names on the graves. They weren't recognizable as the name of pets long since forgotten, but, instead, of people. He spotted Sam's name there, along with several others. Some were full names, others simply first names or nicknames.

Although, another grave besides the unmarked grave stood there as an outlier. It was placed front and center and was the tallest grave of them all, the cross on its top aiding in that height. It read in a far more professional inscription "Magdalene Benedict". 

"Mother," Max whispered, the wind picking up again.

It brushed through both their hair and threatened to bury the other graves as it managed to take several leaves with it.

"Jude-"

"Stop calling me that," Max said, head snapping to him.

The wind had gone silent, and Sam's eyes wide as he stared directly at Max.

"Look."

Sam pointed to the covered grave without so much as glancing at it himself. A few leaves had been carried off it, revealing the first letter of the name engraved at its front. There was a cross on its top as well, though it had become a victim to the crack and most of it had crumbled off.

Max burst forward, attempting to uncover it to read the full name. He could feel a pricking on his shoulders as he did so, soon accompanied by a full on downpour. The leaves melded together with the liquid now soaking through them, and only the ones beneath Max's bent form remained dry.

He clawed and clawed at the leaves without so much as making a dent in the pile. The only thing that ever revealed itself was that J and, later, that U. Thunder and lightning crackled in the distance, the boom reverberating in Max's ears.

Max flinched back, rushing to Sam and holding onto him for dear life. Though Max didn't remember Sam having one on his person, Sam was now holding a black umbrella to match his blackened clothes. 

"Sam, please, please make it stop," Max said, tears falling down his face and fingers digging into the fabric of Sam's coat, "Have I not repented so many times to you? How many years must this torment me until it stops? She's dead, shouldn't that be enough?"

Sam's hand came up, stroking Max's now drenched head slowly. Looking up at him, Sam's features had become sharp, and most of his upper face was hidden beneath the dark gloom of his umbrella.

"This isn't about repentance, Max. I think we both know what this is about," he said and Max pulled himself up from his almost kneeling position.

The two made eye contact, and it was as if Max could see a whole other world within Sam's eyes. The reflection of the barren yard there had become a sunny and verdant springtime scene, with beautiful flowers growing alongside an Albany white fence. The tree had been reborn as well, lush leaves swaying in the wind. Max could hear it so clearly, along with the chirping of birds and the sound of faint laughter that rang through the yard like bells.

Max hadn't realized how close he had come to Sam as he viewed the scene, and, before he knew it, their lips were locking together. The kiss was passionate, as if Max were trying to suck the scene out of Sam's eyes, or otherwise meld into it somehow. Sam kissed him in turn, arms wrapping around Max's middle with a tight squeeze.

Their eyes remained open, giving Max a perfect view of the shifting scene. He saw visions of himself and Sam sitting at that garden, of them relaxing on that porch as the seasons passed before they became as old and as withered as the tree in front of them.

As the kiss went on, Max pressed deeper and deeper into Sam's lips. The visions had stopped but he wanted more. What would the future have looked like if Sam had stayed in his life? Would they be dating now, married, did they even truly love each other in the first place? The taste and the smell of iron filled Max's senses, and he only understood why when there was a sudden wetness present on his mouth.

Max pulled away, gasping for air as he found his mouth dripping with ichor. Finally able to see Sam's face, he realized the man's skin had only become paler, the rosiness of his cheeks and nose having disappeared entirely. Sam's lips were dry with blood, as drained as the rest of him and losing their plumpness.

Max pulled back, stumbling about and nearly tripping several times over the branches beneath his feet.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to. It was just a mistake. I didn't know what I was doing. I'm sorry!" he said, hands coming up to cover the sides of his face.

"Max?" a voice calmly broke in.

Max continued to fumble around until the person grabbed his shoulders. The man managed to catch him before he fell, ankles becoming entangled.

"Max," the man repeated, grip tightening though never hurting, "That woman is gone now, she can't hurt you anymore."

Stilling, Max was meant with a paler version of himself, muscles relaxing as the man's cold chill soothed the sweaty heat that was building up in Max's body. Max weakly attempted to pull away, hands shaking.

"B-but I," he began and the man interrupted. 

"Max. Everything is fine. The kiss felt good, didn't it? And we both wanted it. Does anything else truly matter besides this?"

Max stared at the man's smiling face for a good minute. Max's disgruntled expression relaxed when the man did not retract his words.

"I suppose not but I, I didn't mean to," Max said and the man laughed.

"I know you didn't. It's alright. I forgive you, Max."

Max looked up into his eyeless face. Unlike with Sam, when Max looked where the man's eyes should be, he saw nothing but an endless void. 

 Max took a step back, and then another. Before he knew what was happening, and forgetting the state of his legs, the man allowed Max to pull away and he stumbled. Max danced among the gravestones, making it to the final, "unmarked" grave before falling straight onto his back. The moment it came into contact with the leaves, he fell straight through, others coming to replace those that were scattered and burying him underneath.