#Chapter298
/"I think in a roundabout way you could be. Pushing him away because he’s the one thing in the world that you need, and you don’t feel like you deserve it. Address the issues, Sophie. Not the fallout./"
/"I don’t know how. It’s just… I need space and time. I need to get my head straight on all of this. I’m so confused and you’re making me more so./"
I never evaluated the fact that I am pushing him because of my guilt and my feeling of unworthiness, but she makes sense. I wanted him home and soon as he was by my side I didn’t. I blame it on his pain, knowing it’s partly that, but she has a point. I did this to us; I don’t deserve his love and I don’t want him to console me. I deserve to suffer.
Why am I so fucked up in the head sometimes?