Open Eyes See The Needy And Closed Eyes See The Death

I came to help with my eyes closed. However, I should have opened my eyes because I did not know the true meaning of help. I have not been of any use to myself yet, how would I be of any use to others before I could discover myself?

*

Since I couldn't forget what Pars said about the Mission Responsibility Agreement, my eyes were distracted as I absentmindedly exited the entrance-exit gate of the main headquarters. I never asked what the agreement was because even if I did, I didn't think he would tell me what it was. I was very confused and the fear of death had already begun to take over my heart.

We were a little far from the main headquarters, and I was startled when I heard Cassian's voice next to me as everyone was walking down the wooded road in silence. "Are you okay?" I wanted to smile as if to say I'm fine when my pensive eyes cleared and I turned to him, but my smile must have seemed fake because he raised an eyebrow and sighed. Pars was walking up front and didn't look back, but I was sure he heard Cassian walking up to me and talking to me.

"Yeah... You're not good just as I thought." I took a deep breath and shrugged my shoulders. There's nothing to do about it, that was my move.

"Who cares if I'm okay or not?" I said in a whisper. I was careful to keep my gaze numb and stay upright, but I could crouch in a corner and cry at any moment. I didn't want to experience any of these, I wanted to have control over everything I would experience in the future, but it is not for me to say.

"I care." I was surprised when Cassian suddenly said things I didn't expect, but I still kept my cool. "I can talk a little bit about the Mission Responsibility Agreement if you want. As far as I can see, Pars hasn't told you anything." He took a sigh. "Classic Pars."

I nodded my head as I watched Pars' broad back. "Actually, I'm scared of everything I might hear, but it might be nice if you tell me a little bit."

Although I didn't look at Cassian's face because of my embarrassment, I felt his head come a little closer to me. "We sign the agreement before embarking on any mission because our missions are often life-threatening missions. Other than that, we accept what we should and shouldn't do in missions, but I don't think these issues will interest you."

I frowned, unable to hide my nervousness. "Did anyone die on missions?" Cassian's head turned away from me and he silently looked ahead.

"More than I can count." My blood was frozen, my breathing was choked. I wanted to shout, I had to say I was scared and didn't want to do any of this, but I was too sorry to say a word. I was inexperienced, I didn't know what these missions looked like. I had powers, but I was unprofessional in using them. I was never in a life-or-death situation. No, that wasn't true. I remember those days very clearly.

Before I went to the academy, I painfully recalled the house I stayed in with my adoptive parents and the wooden chair I was always attached to.

*

"It's so cold..." My whispers didn't seem to reach my ears anymore. The breath I took had no meaning, my parents were lying on the floor, smoking cigarettes.

My father must have heard my voice because the taste of blood in my mouth made me nauseous when he quickly got up from his place and gave me a big slap. "You're a bitch who doesn't know how to be thankful." Then I turned my head to my left when he spat his phlegmatic spit on my half-naked body. My hair covered my face, but there was not even a piece of cloth to cover my body.

I had tears in my eyes looking at the wounds on my body, but I swallowed and held back my tears because I knew that if I cried, I would be beaten more. I've been hungry for days, the only thing that got into my stomach was breadcrumbs. I didn't know what they made me drink like water, it was something sour and tasted disgusting. That's all I knew.

I was sick, tired. I had a fever, but they took care of me too well to not let me die. I swear on the sun that did not rise for my day... One day I will illuminate every place. With your bodies, I set on fire.

*

"We came." When I heard Pars' voice that shook the night, I got out of my old memories and looked around. My forehead wrinkled as I tried to make sense of what I was seeing because this place had nothing to do with a city. A few street lights were on, but others had either blown out or went out on their own. In fact, some street lamps were ripped out of their proper places, some of the ruined lamps standing in the middle of the streets were crooked. I didn't know what great power had made them this way, but I could feel the fear running through my veins.

This was not a city. This was the only civilian residential area in Zehera, it was in a dilapidated state, a ruined and dark town. And the Soldiers shamelessly called this devastating place the city. Pars said we came here to help, but we couldn't have helped these people simply by destroying the Creatures of Darkness. This was no help.

As I walked slowly through the streets of the town, I saw people watching us from the window as I passed each house. There were no children or teenagers among them. The people looking out of the windows were either old or disabled. Some of them looked very sick, in fact, all of them looked sick. What had become of these people? Why weren't any of them well? Why did they end up like this when the Academy and the Soldiers were living the perfect life? My mind had no answer to any of the questions.

No matter whose house I passed by, all I saw were hateful eyes. At that moment I was sure of one thing: Maybe they would have been happier if we had not come to help them because what we call help was of no use to them.

When Pars suddenly stopped walking and raised one hand in the air, everyone stood with him, and the people looking out the window drew their curtains and disappeared. I could see the creatures entering from the other end of town. And since I didn't expect that much, I took a few steps back, but Pars's loud voice pierced the night. "Don't think about running away, Reverie. We need you more than you think."

I don't know if I should be surprised that he heard my few steps without looking at me, or that he said something nice to me for the first time. Trying to keep my back and head straight, I walked slowly to his side, and my steps stopped when I reached his body. I was afraid. "Do not be afraid," he said, bowing his head. His lips were very close to my ear. When his cold breath, like his hands, tickled my ear, I felt a burning in my groin, but I couldn't understand why. "You are stronger than them."

No, Pars. This is not true. I am stronger than all of you. But until you really realize it, I'm going to set you all on fire.