Back on track

28th April 2156 1:59 AM, Aboard the Eligius

Bellamy felt terrible and was still exhausted when he suddenly woke up. Waking up was the easy part. His head was throbbing, a terrible pain that quickly spread and did not just stop in his head. It began to occupy his entire body. He couldn't tell if he had slept or just dozed this time, but it didn't feel very deep. Nor restful. That was for sure. He opened his eyes. The light in the room he and Echo had chosen to stay in was dimmed, just bright enough for him to see a little and, most importantly, to find his way around the main room. Bellamy noticed immediately that Echo wasn't there. She had gone to bed with him, but now her place beside him was empty. He already knew that she was up to something. She did that almost all the time. Sometimes it was annoying to follow her and try to find her. Whatever Echo was doing, it seemed to be important enough that it couldn't wait until later.

He waited another minute before slowly rising to his feet. His mind began to remember everything his sleep had suppressed over the past few hours. He took another breath to calm himself, to gather his thoughts. But he couldn't. Before his eyes he saw Clarke lying in all that blood. Her own blood. Unconscious. Not being able to talk to her - at least one last time - wore him down. He couldn't erase the images of her fighting death from his mind. They were so present, so vivid, and so painful. But even more disturbing were the words Madi said to him.

"She called you on the radio every day. For six years… " This sentence haunted him. To the core. "Nobody who calls me every day for six years just leaves me to die…"

"Madi..." The fact that Clarke left him for Madi kind of broke his heart. Along with the slap she had given him after showing up with Octavia and thwarting his plan. It was the look on her face that made him really think though. He had never seen her that angry. By now he realized that his actions in Polis, especially giving Madi the flame, seemed to have upset Clarke more than anything he had ever done in the past. And from Madi's reaction when Clarke was shot, he knew they were close. Much closer than he thought. There was no point in wondering if he had made the right decision. It was done, and he did it with the best of intentions: To save Wonkru. Just like Madi, who had volunteered to help him. But Madi's reaction when Clarke was shot showed that she was vulnerable and as protective of Clarke as she was of herself. He knew Clarke's position. She was strongly against the idea of putting the flame in Madi. She made her point. And made her decision after she found out. Clarke thought he wouldn't do it, that he would find another solution. And he lied to her. He didn't tell her his plan. And now his thoughts about 'what if's' slowly started to torture him.

Bellamy let out a frustrated sigh. He really needed Echo right now. Just to hold her and try to make sense of what had happened in the last few days. Clarke was on his mind. Her betrayal. And her second sacrifice. The fact that she still cared for him. As much as he cared about her. As much as ever. He wanted to find her. He had to find her. To see if the old Clarke was still there. And it tortured him to know nothing about her condition. He had just gotten her back before everything had gone so horribly wrong.

"She's not dead. She's not... I'll talk to her and sort things out... She'll be fine..."

His mind was a mess. And he had to clean it up. It was time to get things back on track. Starting with him and Clarke. But it wasn't just Clarke. Madi and Octavia were also on his mind. And Madi was probably the only thing that worried him more than Clarke. Although she acted very rationally while evacuating the people, he knew that she was a ticking time bomb as long as Clarke's condition was uncertain. And he couldn't blame her. He couldn't even think about how Madi would react if she lost Clarke. The thought of Madi losing her terrified him.

He hoped that Lexa would hold her back, comfort her. But in the end, Gaia was the only person who fully understood how the flame worked. Who could know for sure. Or at least who was closest to that knowledge. Madi was ready to kill the Eligius prisoners, especially after she learned that Clarke had been shot. After all, Clarke was the only one who could control Madi. Besides Lexa, maybe. He wondered if she had also talked to her during the Battle of Eden, especially when they encountered the prisoners. After all, Madi was hesitating when making her decision. Something stopped her. She was conflicted.

"Damn… Clarke…" Because of her getting shot, Madi freaked out. Why did he have to ask Shaw about who was shot?... He knew... And Echo knew too...

She told him about her conversation with Clarke and how Clarke changed her heart and sent Madi and her to save him. If Clarke had not acted, the valley would have been destroyed and the battle lost. Still, she caused a lot of trouble and possibly a lot of deaths, but he wasn't innocent either. Not in this, not in the past.

He slowly rolled over to the side of the bed. There he sat and rubbed his face with his hands. Slowly he dragged himself through the quarters. "Echo. Where is she?" Her jacket was nowhere to be found, which removed the last doubts. When Bellamy had made his way to the desk on the other side of the room, he found a written note on the table. It was Echo's scrawled handwriting. "Go to Abby in the medical bay. She wants to check on you. Then come to the bridge. Echo"

"So this is what Echo is up to..." He thought as he folded the note. She wouldn't send him to Abby just to check up on him. He felt terrible, but anyone who knew what had happened could understand his feelings. No need for a doctor. But in the end, Abby was the key to Clarke. She refused to let him see her after he returned from the surface, even causing Echo to have a harsh discussion with her. He wanted to talk to Abby anyway. And that was a welcome coincidence. And now, hopefully, everyone's minds had cooled down enough to resume the discussion. Bellamy remembered his last conversation with Abby, after he and Madi returned from the surface, crying and begging Abby to let him see her, but Abby stood her ground. This caused Echo to yell at Abby and even start a loud argument. He felt sorry for Abby and wished he could have pulled Echo back, but she was the one who had pulled -- no, dragged -- him into bed after Abby had resisted and even had Indra backing her up. But he was grateful that Echo had forcefully shut him down and gotten him into bed. Echo had also slept. She never slept as long as he did, but maybe she had collected herself and this was the result of a different, more diplomatic approach to Abby. After all, Echo was more caring than the others trusted her to be - except for those who had spent the last six years with her on the Ring. And above all, she had a deep sense of when something was wrong. Sometimes she could feel it happening before anyone else could.

Echo had a kind of natural early warning system. She kept him from collapsing from stress and falling apart. She kept him safe and gave him a break, because he wouldn't have given himself a break. And she sensed when something was going terribly wrong. Or when something bad was about to happen...

He grabbed his shirt and pulled it on immediately. Then he jumped into his black pants and tried to loosen the tension in his body. But he couldn't bring himself to do more than a few half-hearted stretches. Bellamy looked at the clock. It was 2:03 a.m. He had slept - less the times he woke up - almost 10 hours. But even half would have been good. But the truth was that his body would have needed at least some real ten hours of sleep. Before leaving the quarters, he made a quick detour to the bathroom. Not only was his bladder hurting, but he wanted to splash some cold water on his face. In an attempt to wash away the dust and pain of the past few days. When he finished his short bath, he looked in the mirror. He saw his tired and worried face, and he still had rings under his eyes.

"Maybe it's enough to pass Abby's physical. Or whatever she has planned..."

After preparing himself, Bellamy rushed out of the quarters and straight to the hospital. He wasn't looking forward to it, but he had no other choice. Abby was the key to Clarke and that's why he wanted to talk to her. He was still sleepy, his body was still exhausted. But he continued. But his mind was awake despite the other signals of his body. The hallway was empty. He was the only one walking around. The walk through the Eligius was calming. Since he and Echo had occupied one of the more central quarters, it wasn't far to the medical station. That was a good thing, but also a bad thing, because in a few moments he would hopefully get news about Clarke. That must have been the reason why Abby had called him.

"She isn't dead... No... She made it... If she was dead... U would have been told... Echo would have told me..."

His heart began to beat faster as he saw the entrance to the hospital. It was time. Before he even entered the medical bay, he was greeted by Indra, who looked neutral as always. From the look she gave him, he could almost tell that behind her masquerade she was looking at him with concern.

"Abby is waiting for you in exam room one," she said as a greeting.

"Thanks" He looked at her for a moment, but soon realized that he wasn't even capable of a round of small talk, not that Indra was the first and best choice for that anyway. It was all the more surprising when she asked him a question instead.

"How are you?" Indra asked him. It was very unsual that Indra was this empathic. As much as he wanted to know the reason for her interested, he just wasn't in the mood to find more out about it. "I'm fine," he lied right to her face. It wasn't fair to her and he knew it. But Indra couldn't help him anyway. Still, he appreciated her concern and care very much. But Indra's look told him that she didn't believe his lie at all. "How's Gaia?" Bellamy said to quickly change the subject. "She is undergoing some further treatments with one of our healers. We will be moving into quarters for the night soon," Indra told him. "I'm glad you two are alright" Bellamy said with an encouraging smile. "I'm also glad that you are alright" Indra said. The two looked at each other for a moment before Indra spoke again "Our commander was here. Looking for Clarke". Bellamy's eyes widened. Now he could feel his heart almost beating out of his neck. "How is she? How are they?" he asked her reflexively. "Abby will tell you," Indra said, stepping back so he could enter the medical bay. She pointed to a door on the other side of the reception room. And that sentence marked the end of their conversation as Bellamy walked away while hastily nodding to her.

He passed at least two dozen people still lying here, most of them sleeping. Trying not to cause too much alarm, Bellamy hurried past them. Exam Room One. Bellamy saw Abby almost falling asleep at a desk. Bellamy knocked loudly on the door to wake her. She seemed to have stayed awake, waiting for him. "Abby," he greeted her as he entered. "Bellamy!" She said, blinking a few times. She stood up and walked over to him. "Are you okay? How are you feeling?" She grabbed his arm and placed her hand gently on his upper arm. "I'm fine. No need to check on me..." He said with a superficial smile. He really hoped she would leave him alone. At least when it came to his well-being. "All right," she confirmed with a nod. "Murphy's fine too. He's on the bridge with Echo," Abby told him. At least that worry was taken off his mind now. She remained silent for a moment, her eyes focused on him. She looked terrible. Her eyes were red and completely surrounded by huge eye rings. She looked as if she had been sitting here restlessly for days. "I made a deal with Echo. She helped me pick up Murphy so I could take care of him. And that she wouldn't wake you and let you sleep instead. In return, I promised to tell you the news... The good news..." She slowly walked back to the desk, and leaned against it while holding her arms. "I know you want to see her. And I'm sorry that I denied you the chance to see her. But you must understand that I wanted to protect her. To let her rest, and..."

"How is she?" Bellamy asked calmly while interrupting her. "She's fine. Weak, but fine. She was awake for a short time and Madi is with her now. You can see her now. But I've given her some painkillers, so don't expect her to have very deep conversations. At least for a while...".

"She's alive..." Now he had the final confirmation. He felt relief in every fiber of his body. His heart felt light. Madi was with her, so Madi was okay too. His worst fears about her were almost gone, but not completely. He had to talk to her. There was a lot to talk about. But just to be reunited with her would be enough. At least for the moment. "Promise me you will go to the bridge first," she continued, "I gave Echo the key number to Clarke's hospital room. I have moved her to a separate room. She needs to rest. Away from everything. But... now she needs you. And I think you need her too," she smiled at him again. "It's okay. So she's really okay?" He asked again, still not believing the good news. "Yes. At least for now. Whatever you talk about, take it easy on her. Don't stress her out or freak her out. And let me know if anything changes. Or Jackson," she told him, giving him a warning look. "Sure. I will..." He promised. "Okay. I just wanted to tell you the news in person. I'm sorry about yesterday. I'm going to sleep for a while. Marcus is dragging me otherwise..." She smiled at him, remembering that Echo had done the same to him a few hours ago, "Take care of my baby for me," she said emotionally and hugged him. Abby's hug felt good. She held him for a moment. And it wasn't until now that he realized that this was his first real reunion with her in six years. Besides, this was the closest he would get to Clarke, at least for the next few minutes. His mind was in a hurry now: He wanted to see Clarke. "I'm sorry about Echo, by the way..." He apologized, but Abby cut him off, "It's okay," Abby said, "We've all been through a lot. She just cares about you. Fought for you when you couldn't," she paused before adding, "Go. You've waited long enough. Go see her," Abby gave him a genuine smile. She looked beaten. It was as if she had spent her last energy trying to save Clarke. In Bellamy's opinion, she deserved all the rest and sleep she could get. "Okay. Got to go. Won't keep you waiting any longer. Good night, you deserve your sleep," he said goodbye, smiling at her. Just as he turned to leave, she called after him. "Hey," she said after him. When he turned back to her, she added, "I'm glad to see you alive after all this time."

"I'm glad you're alive too," he gave her back. "Thanks to Clarke..." Abby muttered as she looked down. "She saved us all by stopping the launch," he agreed with her. "Without her... I would have been dead... She revived me... When she came with Madi" Suddenly Abby seemed upset. She was saying these words more to herself than to Bellamy. "What?" He asked her confused. Abby's face went pale. "I shouldn't have told you. Go to the bridge. See Clarke. Give her a kiss for me and tell her I'll be back later but she can always call for me if she needs anything," she told him hastily, hoping to make him forget the previous words. "No. It's okay. You have done enough for her. Go get some rest. I'll take care of her... as long as it's nothing medical. That's your job, after all," he said, walking over to her and grabbing her arms. "Bellamy. What she did was... difficult. But you know what I was willing to do for Clarke... I only cared about her at times. Not realizing what I was causing..." Abby looked into his eyes, her own moist. "It's okay. She's just like..."

"Her mother. And that scares me sometimes," she interrupted him. "No, you're wrong. She's Clarke. Your daughter. And no one else" Bellamy corrected her. "Go see Echo. Take her with you when you visit her" Abby said. "Thanks for taking care of us" Bellamy said. "I always will" She gently stroked his cheek and hugged him again. He hugged her back. Then it was really time to leave the scene and to find Echo.

On his way to the bridge, he thought about their conversation. Having time to talk to Abby after all this time was very therapeutic. But he was also shocked by her condition. She seemed to have suffered a lot, not only because of Clarke. He wished he could have talked to her more about what she had been through. He hadn't had a chance to talk to Kane either. She was tired, so this wasn't a good opportunity to dig deeper. Continuing this conversation would have to wait until later. His steps unconsciously sped up with every meter. At one point, he was almost jogging, but he didn't care. In fact, he felt much more alive now than he had a few minutes before. After a short walk, he reached the huge hydraulic double doors leading to the bridge of the Eligius. As Bellamy entered the bridge, he saw Echo, Kane, and Shaw working on the radio, apparently trying to talk to the ground. Echo's frustrated face told him they were encountering the usual technical difficulties. In another corner of the large bridge, he saw Octavia and Doyza sitting at a table, lost in boredom. Octavia looked just as beat up as he had seen her in the mirror. When Bellamy looked directly into her corner, Octavia's eyes met his. Although a large part of him resisted going any closer to his sister, his heart took control and overruled his mind. Although he knew that he wanted to see Clarke as soon as possible, he also knew that he had to look after his sister. Even if only for a brief moment.

"Hey," he said as he reached their table. Doyza greeted him with a silent nod, knowing that he wasn't here for small talk. Especially not with her. "Hey, Bell" Octavia said with a rough voice "How are you?" he asked her. Again she decided to avoid this question. She looked at him with her green eyes and evasively asked him the same question, "How are you?".

"I'm okay. And you?"He asked her back. Octavia nodded curtly. She wasn't well. He could tell by his eyes and her reaction. As he had already guessed, Octavia was another problem he had to deal with. "Have you seen Clarke?" She asked him then. "No, but I'm now going to see her" He explained. "Go look after her. As you always did" She put a forced smile on. He smiled back at her, though his smile was much more genuine. "Okay. Can we talk later?" He asked her.

"Yeah. Can you tell me when you are done? I want to see her quickly" Octavia told him.

"Sure. I'll see you later" He said and left their table to finally speak to Echo and Kane. Echo had already noticed his appearance but had decided to not interfere with him and his sister. Her eyes followed him, as he walked towards them. "Bellamy" Echo said to him with a smile. Without a further word, he rushed to her, and kissed her passionately. She wasn't any less passionate. "How are you?" She asked him, once they stopped. Bellamy held her heavy breathing in his arms. "I'm good. Feeling much better now" He answered and then greeted Kane with a nod.

"Kane, you're alright"

"Yes, Bellamy" He confirmed.

"Did you read my message?" Echo asked him after he looked back at her. 

"Yeah… I just talked to Abby"

"Very good. You want to say a few things to Raven? She's about to take a nap. Like the others. We just have a connection. Bunker is very calm so far" She quickly briefed him

"Can't say not to Raven" He joked and grabbed the radio device from her. Kane watched them silently.

"Wait, Bellamy" Kane then said "Abby, did she...?"

"She going to sleep" Bellamy answered him, knowing that Kane also just wanted to be with Abby. "You can go and see her, we are good here"

"Okay" Kane said "We talk later, Bellamy?" 

"Of course. There are many things to talk about" Bellamy and Kane exchanged a quick hand shake. before he left the bridge.

"Make it quick, the connection is very lousy"

"... heard that" The radio device shouted at her

"Raven?" Bellamy spoke to the other end

"Bellamy... it's good to hear you?" Raven said almost incomprehensible.

"You too. Is every thing okay down there?"

"So far, everyone is getting along well"

"I couldn't ask for more at the moment"

The next moment a crashing, rushing interference noise was heard

"That was Raven for the next minutes..." sighed Shaw "Need to wait till she come's back

"No worry" Bellamy assured him "Raven should sleep as well. We talk later to her"

He then looked at Echo

"How long till the storm hits?"

"Eight to ten hours" Shaw was faster with his answer.

"I mean. We could still fly down one last time and try to fix it there" He suggested

"He is not the only one who misses someone" Echo explained to him "Murphy is whining because of Emori…" 

Bellamy laughed "Of course"

"Haha very funny… You are going to see your princess after all" He heard a sarcastic voice coming from a corner. He looked around it and spotted Murphy, who was laying down on some cargo boxes.

"You wanna see her as well? Especially when you are maybe leaving us?" Bellamy asked him, while he watched Murphy slowly erecting himself. His face made it unnecessary to ask him how his pain was

"Good to see you man" Murphy then greeted him properly. They hugged for a brief moment

"Yeah same. I'm glad they fixed you" Bellamy said

"Yeah. Twice thanks to Echo" He threw an angry face at her "She dragged me to the med bay again, so that Abby could work on me again. I told her I'm fine"

"She's just careful. You'll thank her one day" Bellamy said to him

"Raven?" Shaw asked to the radio in the meantime

"You wanna go?" Echo asked Bellamy, knowing that it wouldn't make sense to wait till the connection would have been restored

"Yeah totally" Bellamy said

"Wait" Murphy said

"You wanna see her as well? Especially when you are maybe leaving us?" Bellamy guessed Murphy's intention

"Yeah, why not?" Murphy said 

"He isn't very fast" Echo warned him, about the potential hazard of him slowing down his walk to Clarke. 

"But be polite to her. She's not in a condition to argue with you about what happened" Bellamy added, knowing Murphy's at times heated temperament.

"Fine. I say nothing. Just that I'm happy that she didn't die" Murphy assured him

"That's the spirit" Bellamy recognized his promise. 

"Shaw?" Echo asked him, but she only received a nod from him, while he was listening to Raven

"Shaw?" He finaly paid her some more attention "Call me via radio when you need something" 

She waved with her own radio device, again receiving a nod from him.

"Than let's go. Our princess is waiting" Murphy said, and limped after them outside the bridge.