Entry 5: 1970s

Chapter 5: 1970s

“I WANT HER!” Zander announced as he barged into the office. The sudden intrusion shocked all of us, even Zander who barged in the room.

“Excuse me?” the editor stood up from his desk. Zander was about to make his case, but when our eyes locked, he was suddenly speechless as red began to rise from his cheeks, like a shy boy facing his first crush. I lowered my head to hide my smile brushing imaginary lint from my pristine skirt.

“If this is a bad time, we can continue our conversation right after Mr. Zander and his, uh business” I stood and straightened my blouse, nodding at the editor.

“No wait, please stay Laura” Zander stepped to his side, using his expansive physique in an effort to block me from exiting the room. This move puts us closer than we ever were in this lifetime, so close I could not help but look up into his eyes, hazel, unwavering and piercing. I have seen him in many forms; different ages, different heights, different races, and different hair color, but his eyes, the very windows of his soul remain the same. His very presence dominated my world, this close he was the air I breathe.

“I’m sorry Mr. Zander I am a bit confused” I said my words, measured and controlled, afraid to give any of my emotions away, taking a small sure step backwards to put space between us.

“I apologize for my rash behavior, but Sarah Beth told me you were leaving your post so I came as soon as I can because I want you” Zander explained himself, loosening his tie to a bit to before he continued. For a moment this small action was the center of my focus, as my eyes zeroed in on the small, exposed flesh of his neck. Until it hit me, I did not tell anyone about leaving my post, how exactly did Sarah Beth know this, and what did he tell Zander. This thought led me to start a whole string of possibilities, such as possible invasion of private property and malicious gossip of why I had to leave my post, all involving the blonde, pink clad queen of the office.

“I want you to work with me,”

“I don’t think I am qualified for the position of your secretary sir, perhaps someone with a bit more seniority over me, like Sarah Beth perhaps?” that offer felt like poison down my throat, I had to restrain myself from trying to regurgitate. He smiled stepping closer to me, and before I move to escape his reach both his hands landed on my shoulder.

“No, you mistake me Laura, I don’t want you to work for me I want you to work with me, to write with me” Zander clarified.

“I am a secretary sir; I type papers I don’t write them”

“Trust me you are capable of something more than you think” Zander encourage me, his eyes bore his optimism into me, and even now, with all the years I have known him, I still find it difficult to refute anything from him.

“There must be some sort of confusion, I have never written anything in my life. I think this conversation has reached its course, now if you’ll excuse me” I raised my hands and gently removed his hold from me.

“Just trust me, work with me for a year and if it still doesn’t make sense, then I’ll- I will let you go” Zander reached down and grabbed my hands, engulfing them in his. Warm calloused hands, with ink tell tale inks on the tips of his fingers held mine. I remember the days when this warmth enveloped my entire existence, my haven, my home.

“Fine,” Oh the power he has over me.

“I will work with you for a year, one year and I am going to tender my resignation” I removed my hands in his hold, who knows what else he could make me do if he kept holding on to me.

“Well, that settles it then, finish what’s left of your work today, tomorrow you will be reporting under Jay. Jay, you will be responsible for teaching her and showing her the ropes around. Meanwhile, I am going to hold on this for a year, when you change your mind, you know where to find me” the editor-in-chief folded my resignation letter and kept in his desk drawer.

“Thank you, you’re not going to regret it.”

I already am, , yet in the back of my head, underneath my will and pride and stubbornness, I thought maybe just maybe in this evolved time of peace and justice, we might get a chance to live his life happily. I sat back on my desk chair with a sigh, re-running how the meeting went in my mind, how exactly did I go from resigning to staying for a year under his tutelage?

Like clockwork, Sarah Beth was already on her way to my desk to get her scoop for the latest office happenings, her blonde curls bouncing, and there was a slight skip to her step, probably on her way to review the entire exchange in the office with me.

“So, sugar how’d it goes?” she sat halfway on my desk, I looked up at her, wondering if she is just not trying to hide the fact that she went through my things or is just plain stupid.

“How did it go where exactly ?” I feigned ignorance with a smile.

“You know your little talk with the boss?” her smile did not falter, but I can hear the pitch of her voice getting higher.

“It went alright,” I shrugged and began organizing my desk, gathering my personal belongings into my bag.

“Is it true then, are you leaving your post?” she leaned into whisper, as if half of the office were not already listening and the other half waiting to rush to her table once this conversation is over.

“My goodness, that is not just true, wherever did you get that idea” I laughed, imitating her classic hand on my chest.

“You mean, you’re not pregnant?” this time her shrill voice wasn’t even a whisper anymore, her teeth greeting beneath her candy gloss smile.

“Oh no, no darling wherever did you get the idea?” I repeated myself placing my purse back into its original position.

“Oh, that is terrific news, I thought for sure you were going to leave your post when you went in the boss office, I thought it was going to be one of those talks you know” the office floor was filled with the sounds of her obnoxious giggle as she made theatrical gestures of fanning herself from laughing to hard.

“Don’t worry, if I was really going leave my post, you’ll be the first to know” for that I am absolutely certain.

I gave her one final smile and got back to finishing what was left of my paperwork just as I was instructed to do. As I finished typing the works of others, I find myself curious about writing them myself. My entire life I have never considered myself as any sort of creator, especially in our family where in creativity is paramount. I have long accepted that I didn’t get the gift of imagination and creation and for a very long time I was content with it. I was used to observing and listening, going with the flow of things, letting it take its natural course, their own journey from life to death, just as it was designed, I was the one who sat in the side lines content to watch, and for that I have never even broached the idea of making something, until now.

Doubts began to form in my head like the dark clothes that covered the skies outside. Am I really capable of creating my own composition, of writing something from my own imagination, of creating something original and of my own? My doubting thoughts were no match to Zander’s words as I recall his words from earlier.

‘you are capable of something more than you think’

Just trust me

He was after all the optimistic one, always bright and warm, ready to strive forward unbothered of the obstacles we may encounter along the way. Finishing my day, I submitted that last of my papers to their respective authors, but when I got back to my desk, there was already a small army of Barbies waiting for me.

“Can I help you?” I approach.

“Oh there you are pumpkin, the girls and I are going out for drinks, we’re wondering if you would care to join us” Sarah Beth said sweetly.

“Drinks, on a Wednesday?” I asked nervously, trying to think of ways I can wiggle myself out of the invitation since I was already boxed in.

“I know right, but after everything that’s happened today, we’re kinda feeling on the wild side, don’t you girls” Sarah Beth asked her small army. Defeated I sighed and grabbed my bag, following Sarah Beth and her ‘that’s the spirit’

“Laura!” It was only my name that was called but every single girl turned their necks to see the man walking up to us.

“I’m glad I caught up with you, I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me, to celebrate” Zander asked, and for a man who was in a hurry to catch up he did not look disheveled at all, except for that little loosed tie.

“Excuse me, celebrate what?” Sarah Beth pushed through past her friends to stand before me in front of Zander.

“Oh, starting tomorrow Laura will be working with me” Zander explained.

“Laura is Mary Anne’s replacement?” Sarah Beth clarified.

“Oh no, Mary Anne is still my secretary, Laura will be working with me, as a co-writer”

“Oh what joy, unfortunately Laura has already agreed to join me in the girls for a few drinks” Sarah Beth forcefully linked her arms with mine.

“Is that so, well, if that’s the case maybe some other time” Zander looked at me expectantly. Stuck in the middle there was only one choice for me.

“No time like the other, I’m sure the girls will understand, isn’t that right Sarah Beth” I slipped my arm from Sarah Beth’s grasp and stood next to Zander.

“That’s great, I know just the place”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then” I waved at Sarah Beth sweetly as Zander escorted me to the elevators.