An Unsatisfied death

What is life?

The question has been a constant pursuit during my time alive in this world.

It was a curiosity i held ever since i was a kid, raised in an orphanage i found myself stranded among the hyperactive kids.

Isolated by my own volition as i struggled to find a reasn to connect with them.

It wasn't out of some sort of trauma i had from my parents , despite not being treated well before being abandoned i didn't harbour any hatered for them, i just didn't have anything at all towards them.

The trend of isolation carried on to my school life as i Only focused on learning more about the world.

At one point however i got bored of it, so i stopped putting in much effort in it.

After berely passing Highschool i took up a small Job in RSS, they didn't give me money since it was a voluntary service organization but they provided me with food and clothing.

My goal to join them was simple, i wished to join politics and gain position of power, the reason was that i just wanted to experience if life was any different on the top from the bottom.

During my time in RSS i learned a lot of things like fighting , religious practices and History, while the practice of religion itself didn't interest me much but the philosophy of it all made me quite interested in it.

It sated a lot of my curiosity yet i still failed to find meaning in my fleeting life.

As i approached the age of 25 i had already joined BJP.

But as a normal member i had no scope to even hope for getting a nomination for election any time soon.

I didn't have political connections nor did have any following among the fellow party members.

So from the two options of seducing my way up or blackmailing my way up i chose the latter, i spent 3 years gathering information on many state ministers and Union Ministers.

And then I took my time slowlybuilding up my presence by the virtue of "Favours" of very gracious ministers and key members of the party.

By the time i was 30 i was running for the position of MP in the General election, and i won too.

I didn't get any important ministries but i just needed to "work" harder to achieve more power.

Politics was fun, for my second term i switched the constituency to a different place in Jammu.

Everything was going absolutely my way ,my popularity was very high due to my uncompromising ideology that was displayed to the nation with thehelp of my "friends" in media groups , I was even in consideration to be a Union minister if our party won the next term.

Alas that future never came to be as during my return from a rally my convoy was attacked by 33 terrorists.

The standoff lasted for half an hour since i didn't have high class security and my gaurds were nowhere near enough to derer them.

But i didn't want things to end this way so i stepped out of the vehicle and surrendered, at firstthey wanted to shoot me but i forced thwm to take me hostage by pulling on their fear of death.

"Listen, if you kill me right now youyour family and everyone that helped you will be hunted like dogs that don't even get proper funeral, if you take me hostage you can negotiate a better jail time for you"

I was pretty bold with my statements because i was completely sure that these were not internationally funded terrorists, they were upstarts in their field.

I was taken hostage and they tried to negotiate with the government, alas they were shut down completely and were put in a stalemate by the army completely surrounding their base.

And within a few days of waiting the operation to rescue was already on the way since the terrorists ran out of ammunition to deter them.

I was pretty happy because this altercation would have single handedly propelled my political career to new heights.

Alas i miscalculated the irrationality of a cornered mad man, one of the leaders choked me to death just minutes after the army enetered the base.

All in all I never found an answer to my question during my life.

In my final moments i had hoped that there exists an after life of some sort and i was right since i could have thoughts , i couldn't see feel or touch but i could think.

Oh well i did have some grand expectations for this but what more can i do about it.

I am not angry i am not sad, i am just unsatisfied with this.

Just like this time passed ? and my mind became a silent place even my own thoughts were hard to be coherent and i could feel myself losing myself.

So i did the only thing i could, i prayed.

I prayed to be reborn out of this hell of my own silence.

"Whatever deity that lives out there, my only wish is to not be reborn in this incomprehensible life of a human "

and my prayer did work as after some time a sound not of my own echoed in my mind

[Notice]

[The Voice of the World grants the Individual named @,#;&#*@* permission to reincarnate]

And after that my thoughts ceded

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