Chapter Thirteen - Changing World

/// ???? POV ///

I can feel it. I can hear it. 

Howling inside my bones like a ferocious beast. 

Like an evil abomination, lurking in the dark. 

Ever shifting. Bones crunching. Skin ripping- as it fights for control. 

My sight is void now. I can't see anything. An eternal dark with no sense of direction. No smell, no taste, no sight, no hearing. 

All I feel is an unquenchable thirst for blood and murder. 

Rage and insanity runs so deep, that it seems to form the very foundations of my existence. But...

I was never like this. This is not me. Who is it? Or is this the real me? The 'me', that has always been there, albeit suppressed. 

I can't tell where this foreign existence ends and where my own starts. 

It's like I dwell a monster inside me. Always rebelling, seeking a moment to take control. And right now, it seems to be winning. 

Flashes of memories blinked in my brain every now and then. I could feel the pain and despair of this existence I deemed as 'monster'. Disappointment, rage, envy, spite, disgust.

And among all these negativities was a torch. A burning, flaming torch. Radiating warmth. 

A warmth I thought was enough to fight against this cold world. The world that had no place for us. But the torch's warmth... 

It was all mine. 

And then the torch was extinguished. Gone...

The last string that holding my sanity gone. 

I wonder...

Will I become the monster, or will the monster become me?

/// Caera Denoir ///

Groaning, I tried to wake up. 

My body felt heavy. Endlessly tired. Even moving a muscle felt arduous.

Like something soft and mushy was weighing down on me. Any strength in my body seemed to have miraculously disappeared, leaving me helpless. I felt hopeless and falling into an endless pit of despair. 

Something heavy was clutching on to my whole form. Pinning me down into this abyss of endless dark. 

The distant scent of brewing herbs, subtle clanging of the spoon from the sides of the cup. Sound of the pages flipping. 

A subtle, barely perceptible sigh. 

I tried to open my eyes. They were heavy, almost as if a titanic weight has been placed upon them. My fingers felt warm. That's when I felt it. The warm embrace of something soft covering my entire body. 

A blanket. Where am I?

The last thing I remember was... 

My food being drugged. And then him bringing his face close. Sudden disgust welled up in my chest as I barely restrained the urge to throw up the rising bile. Using every last bit of strength inside me, I opened my eyes.

"Kyuu?", A soft chirp echoed in my mind. It was soft and familiar, yet it felt like hundreds of needles being stabbed simultaneously in my ears.

The familiar sight of a white fox graced my eyes. Squinting and rubbing my eyes with my fingers, I tried to get rid of the mist in front of my vision. Topaz eyes brimmed with tears as they locked with mine as she snuggled with me. Her face buried in my neck as she continued jumping here and there. 

My body moved in a wave motion. Something heavy placed on the mattress. 

Turning my head to the side, I saw a worried face. Messy white hair cascaded down his vibrant lavender eyes. 

Grey....

His attire was messy. So was his hair. His face contorted into a look of worry for a short while, but then his sharp features relaxed. A subtle smile appearing in his face. He stood up and sat even closer. Looking from his side he looked at me. 

I felt conscious. Conscious of my own appearances. Despite being in a state of quandary of my own wellbeing, this was all I could think of. His hand travelled towards my forehead. 

I tried to move my face away. Scared he would be disgusted by the beads of sweat that lined my forehead. But my body didn't move. Not even an iota of strength remained in my limbs. Even my breathing seemed forced. 

His hand travelled towards my forehead as he removed the stray strands of hair away. His facial features were soft. Probably the softest since I met him. I wanted to speak but couldn't. My throat too parched. 

He continued removing the strands one by one. Once they were out of its way, he looked at me and a sad smile appeared over his face, "I was scared", he spoke. His voice devoid of the usual baritone and replaced by a slight whimper. His fingers travelled slowly, trailing through my cheeks and then at the back of ear as he tucked a lock of hair behind it. His index finger caressed my cheek slowly. 

What was this feeling?

This feeling of finally being where I belonged. 

Every man's touch was repulsive. Like a natural response, making me stay as far away as possible from everyone. Yet here I was, being caressed by Grey. And all I felt was nothing but a sense of security. His touch was warm. And I felt safe. Safer than I ever was. 

"Mhmm", I replied to him, unable to form any words. 

He placed his hand over the back of my hand and drew circles over the back of my hand with his thumb. "I really was. You were gone for so long", he said and paused as he picked my hand up and placed it in his other hand, covering it with his previous hand. The warmth from both hands permeated into my skin, making me feel better.  

A light purple hue illuminated his both hands. And between his hands I felt the tangible warmth from him stick to my own. Slowly, gradually, the purple hue started from my hand and continued to spread throughout my body. The hue became lighter, but the rejuvenating effect continued in all its glory. 

"Feel better now?" He asked, letting go of my hand. 

The happiness that welled up in me and spread like a plague disappeared as soon as I lost his touch. I wanted to ask him to hold on to me a while longer...

Just a bit more....

"Yeah. Better", I replied using the bare minimum of words. My tongue felt heavy. 

He looked at me and then at Sylvie who was still looking at me with moist eyes. The purple hue still surrounded my whole body, supplementing basic movements. Placing my hand over Sylvie's head, I patted it. She seemed to like it as she circled around my hand and jumped over me, licking my face. 

A light chuckle escaped my lips as I pried my face here and there from her. Grey's hand gripped her from behind and picked her up, bringing her to eye level. "Don't do that, Sylvie. She is still recovering", he spoke, admonishingly. 

Sylvie's ears drooped down, however a smirk formed over his face, "If you're going to do it, you have to do it properly", he paused and placed Sylvie to the side. Walking in my direction he cracked his fingers, "Watch and learn, Sylvie. No hard feelings, Caera. Just making you pay for all the worry you cause me by fainting for so many days", he said. 

Before I could comprehend anything, his fingers touched me. He tickled me as unrestrained laughter broke out from me. I squirmed in the blanked, unable to make much movement. And Grey seemed to be violating that. I had nothing but to accept the onslaught of the tickles. Placing his left knee on the side of the bed and right hand just beside my head he continued tickling me, cackling like a maniac in the process. 

Sylvie cooed from the corner, her little features screaming worry. While I just let him do as he wished. Was I enjoying this? Or was it some sort of natural submittance towards him? It was strange. With the purple hue still in effect, I could remove him. 

But...

Why should I get rid of such a moment?

As if on cue, the door almost exploded. 

"CAERA!"

"Lady Caera!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

An uncomfortable silence lingered in the air for a good amount of time. Scythe Seris' eyes darted from me to Grey. 

And... I swear I saw a scowl flash on Seris' face. It was instantaneous, but it was there. A coy smile veiled her previous expression as she looked at Cylrit over her shoulder, "Leave the kids to their... deed, Cylrit. Let's come back later", she spoke and moved out. She halted for a split second, "I need you in a better form in 2 hours. Guess that's enough", she spoke and disappeared the next moment.

Clyrit, the handsome retainer who had been with Scythe Seris since the beginning stood in the door frame, looking at Grey with a proud look on his face. 

"Congrats in advance, Grey... on your graduation", He spoke and shot a thumbs-up to both of us. 

I felt the blood rushing into my face as I finally took in what they meant. Looking up I saw Grey, both of his hands still on the either side of my head. He was looking the other way, towards Cylrit who was already leaving, holding Sylvie in his arms. 

I looked up again to see Grey's impassive face looking directly at me. 

"Sorry", he muttered and started to leave. 

No...

I grabbed his hand. He looked back, his sharp gaze questioning my actions.

"Can you stay? Just for a while. I don't feel too good right now", I lied. Whatever Grey had done was helping me to act like normal. However, this was just a selfish act. To keep him to myself. Even for a while. 

He nodded and sat down beside me once again. Picking up a cushion he placed it behind my back, helping me to sit in a more comfortable position. 

"Sorry for pushing you too much earlier", He apologized in a genuine tone.

"It's ok. My bad for making you worry. So that makes us even", I replied with a smile as he let out a chuckle. His tensed muscles visibly relaxed as he sat in a more congenial position.

After that we talked about various things. His company was something I always desired. It was enough to make me laugh. Make me forget the horrors and other impediments related to my life. I felt like home. 

A thought crossed my mind. 

How could I forget? 

"Grey?" I interrupted him as he was explaining on of the zones of the relic-tombs with great interest.  

His face crunched up and serious look appeared over his face. He knew I would never interrupt him. Which means if I did, it has to be something important. He shifted and turned, looking at me. 

"About the incident.... what happened to him? What did you do?", I asked. 

He looked down for a brief moment, "You don't have to worry about him anymo-"

"I asked what you did to him?" I asked again, sternly this time. 

His jaw clenched as I heard the audible gritting of his teeth, "I killed him", he replied. His tone was neutral, but I could feel no regrets behind his speech or action. 

"You what?" I asked, flabbergasted. 

"Exactly", he replied as he looked the other way. 

Gripping him by his shoulder, I turned his face towards me, "Tell me! Why? Why did you kill the heir of a high blood?" Panic rose up inside of me. Grey didn't have any background. Even Scythe Seris as a mentor was a hidden fact. Only a handful of people knew it. And he had gotten into trouble... just because of me.

A metallic taste filled my mouth as I bit my lip in frustration. I promised I would help him in every way possible.

"Don't blame yourself", Grey spoke looking at me.  

"How can I not!?" I almost yelled at him. 

"Me going against a highblood was bound to happen. One way or the other", he replied as he took out a piece of cloth and placed in on my lip. 

"What do you mean?" I asked. 

"The first phase to revolution. It all starts with the conflict between a newly appointed named blood and a century old highblood. This continent... no, this world will change, Caera. And you can't blame yourself in such chaotic times", he paused and came closer, "keep your head up. You have nothing to blame yourself with. If anything, you made it easy for me to execute my plans. Thanks."

And then he was gone. 

Gone in a purple flash followed by the hushed rumble of amethyst.

The only trace of him was the lingering warmth of his lips over my forehead. 

(A/n My life-force has been squeezed out of me. No, I didn't lose NNN. Just the wholesome-angsty chapters are not my thing. I am literally dying. 

Do tell me in the comments about the chapter. It's my first time not rushing the whole "wholesome" plot in a proper fic.

Anyways, that was all. Elijah cliffhanger continues.)