Chapter 3

AGNES

"I missed you."

That is the only message I got after seven months of what happened to me that spring night.

Mom got me a new number right after what happened, but I do know well who sent me this message.

It is Ino.

I still have a restraing order against Ino that will be good for two years.

And I didn't know where he finds a face to text me like that.

After he left me all alone in that cold place? After I called him so many times? After everything.

Do I still love him? Offcourse.

Do I still need him? No.

He once lied to me. He once left me when everything gets tough. And I didn't need that kind of man in my life anymore.

My therapist, Dominic, told me in one of our session that I might be attracted to him before since he was closer to the man that who I saw ny Dad with.

And I am longing so much for my Dad and Ino is selfish enough to see that needs and took advantage of me.

Me, my innocence and my longing.

That makes sense.

My therapist, helps me a lot. He is saying words that I really need to get on with this life.

His words, his knowledge and his wisdom helps me and maybe one of the reasons why I am here right now.

I continue to take Nursing in NYU in exchange of me living alone in a simple apartment complex near the University. While Olive and her boyfriend decides to live together two blocks away from my apartment.

So far, I am enjoying and liking my independence.

Mom's coming from time to time to checked on me. And I am sure that she's happy to see that I am now trying.

Oh, and she's now started dating.

Three months ago.

She said he met the man during his hospital's visit that became often that is when she stated the obvious.

I am just happy that she is now happy.

The video of me getting humiliated is turned down. Community standards saved me and my ass since I am only eighteen.

I am thankful that my prayers heard since no one recognized me in University. Just me, Olive and Gage.

Olive and Gage took Finale arts and they introduced me to some of their friends, Mina, Kevin, Jin and Shirley. But I do have a friends in my department too, Sol and Willow.

Everything seems back to normal and perfect once again especially with my friends.

"Hey, Agnes, are you up to the party tonight?" Olive hugged my side as we are eating on the school's cafeteria.

Everyon's looking at me hopeful for me to say yes. I didn't come to any parties since college started.

I chuckled "Nah, Mom will come by tonight."

Willow and Sol sulked. "That's too bad. We want you there." Willow says with puppy eyes.

"Make sure to have fun, huh?"

They all nodded and continue to eats.

"What is it? Tell me." Olive whispered.

I smiled and shake my head no "Nothing, why?"

She took a deep breath "Are you still afraid that someone will recognize you?"

I smile sadly, because partly, it is true. I nodded "Kind of."

She sighs "It is not even your fault."

"You think that?"

She looks straight at me "I mean that."

I squeeze her hand and smiled "Thank you."

I was on my way home when my phone started to vibrates again.

I thought it was just Willow, Sol or Olive trying to get me to the party.

But when I saw the same old number that has been pestering me for a month now, I stopped.

Once again, I am back in that black and white place.

My hands started to shake, I close my eyes and try to collect myself.

I turned off the phone and when I am now infront of my apartment, I realized I do not want to be alone for the moment.

I decided to hop off the local chill bar near my apartment and have some few drinks. Alone.

I love being alone, not that I am complaining.

But my minds kept on wandering why he suddenly so desperate to want me back? Why now?

To be honest, I've been having problems for months. I'm not afraid of him, I'm afraid of myself. What if I just see him and accept him again?

A tight squeeze in my right shoulder makes me look from behind.

A very fine man was looking at me and smiling at me but then was stunned "I am sorry, I thought you are the one I was looking for."

I just nodded politely, couldn't even speak because this man infront of me is looks like an angel straight from heaven.

A captivating smell, a deep mysterious brown eyes, a plungy lips, he's just so gorgeous and captivating. "Okay." That is all I could muster.

The man left and I followed him with my gaze when the bartender gave me another round of my drink.

I was about to start conversing on myself alone again when the high stool beside me moves.

"You don't mind?"

I shook my head no then try to focus myself again. From my breathing.

Why did I feel I become breathless when he's near?

This feeling is so foreign since this is the first time I felt this way with stranger after that spring night, after him.

"I didn't quite expect to see someone like you in a place like this--" he smiled while drinking his scotch.

From what I can tell, he's the same age as me.

"Someone like me?"

He looks at me and smile "Someone that looks so fragile, someone that looks like needing to put in a pedestal."

Hmm, a cassanova, I see.

He has a way to sway girls or women with his words.

It did get to me, to be honest.

I chuckles and drink my beer "I am far from being fragile."

"Hmm-- I am curious--"

I looked at him he's already looking at me.

"You want me?" I ask him boldly.

I am far from innocent. Seven months did a number to me.

It is true that this is the first time I felt this with a stranger, but this isn't the first time I hooked up with a stranger.

He looks at me, I can tell that he want it too.

I thought that he thought that I am an innocent girl just because of the way I dress and the way I move. But I am not.

He smiled. "Yes."

"Take me home?" I swallowed hard when I see his dee brown eyes deepened with passion.

"You barely know me." He smiles.

"You catch my eyes, I have a very good eyes with something so beautiful. I guess that's all that matters." I chug my beer.

I looked at him, not even surprised by my boldness. "Then have a smoke with me?"

We went to the side of the bar, I am leaning on the wall facing him, and he is leaning on the wall across from me using his right. Smoking.

"You don't smoke?"

I shook my head no. "No."

"What's your name?"

I smiled "I prefer not to tell my name."

He smiled too, wide. "You surprising me a lot."

"You do? Then I did well." I sighed "I need to go."

I was about to leave when he suddenly walk closer to me and caged me with his long broad arms.

Both of us looking at each other, eyes to eyes.

One more move and our lips will be touching.

"Yours or Mine?"

"I prefer yours. I don't want you to become a stalker after this."

He chuckled by my humor and I smiled along with his.

He looks like a red flag. But I am not even finding a green flag as of the moment.

We got into his Black BMW and he started driving. He is just five blocks away from mine and I am glad I won't have any trouble going home after. He stopped at a lovely and sophisticated urban style apartment here in New York.

"Is there where you live?" I asked.

I shouldn't be surprised since he had this expensive car, and the way he looks he was just so expensive to look at.

He nod and smile "Does that surprise you?"

Offcourse, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"Yeah, kind of."

We went up to the second floor of the complex. He told me that the first floor is his work station. I don't want to press details about him. That is my stand by having a one night. I won't get myself involved in anything.

"By any chance, are you married?" I aksed when he locked the door and backed me on it, caging me again and was about to kiss me.

He shook, he had this serious look on him. The place is dark, the only light that has been illuminating is the moon from above. Yes, he doesn't have a window, but had his ceiling a glass that you can see up from above the skies.

"No--"

I didn't let him finish, I kissed him. Needy and greedy.

His hands were fast all over my body.

The last thing I remember is us on his bed.

The experince was amazing, his kiss is fiery, his touch is dangerous, and the way my body synchronized his every move is a warning. I did like the sex, what I didn't like is the way I felt.

After we're done, I stood up getting ready to dress up.

"Where are you going?"

"Home--" I started to dress up not even bothering to looked at him, because looking at him making me wants more.

He chuckled, I stopped buttoning my shirt, barely looking at him from my behind.

"You sure are different."

I sighed and smiled sadly "Maybe--"

"Can I see you again?" He ask when I was about to leave his door.

I stopped, closed my eyes and took a deep breath "--No, I don't think so." Then leave.

A perfect night to spend with a perfect stranger.