Make a decision

I knocked at the wooden door with principal's name hanging on it.

"Come in," I heard his muffled voice across the door.

I walked in the room with slow calculated steps trying to comprehend my options.

He looked up from some files he had opened on his table and nodded in acknowledgement

"Ms. Walters,"

I did a small nod and said,

"You asked for me, sir?"

"I had asked you about the early graduation, there are still things to be taken care. And the classes start in 3 more days. I hope you remember that." He told me looking at the computer screen in front of him and typing out something on it.

"Umm," he uttered looking at the notes on his screen, "Looks like there is nothing much to worry about in school, but you have to register in the University yet with your documents."

He looked at me for confirmation, I looked down at my sneakers and told him,

"Yes sir, I'm thinking about it."

I looked at his frowned face under my long lashes.

"Ms. Alicia, is there anything to think about? It's an opportunity students yearn for their whole life." I looked up feeling his heated stare at my head.

"I have already given you a week, I hope you can give me answer soon, otherwise I don't think you will be able to get it." He finished.

"I'll let you know by tomorrow sir," I stated in a confirmed note.

"Very well," he nodded and started looking through his papers again.

"I'll leave then sir," I said and turned around to leave.

I kept on walking around the school buildings, looking for Marie anywhere, how ironic I was looking for someone I never wanted to encounter ever in my life. But I had to see whether she really went to meet Jason. I did not believe her, but I had to know was he really not coming for next week either.

The bell rang indicating start of lecture, so I hurried to my class. I walked in the room half filled with students I shuffled through rows of chairs and settled at one of the chairs in the end with a window looking out in the parking lot. I could see cars and few people going around from afar but I was not really able to recognize any.

"Class open the book page number 115," Our English teacher said. I opened the book on my table and started scribbling the words he continued saying, because I did not want to end up having any punishments from him, his punishments were not detentions. It was double assignments and presentations without any credit. I mean the hell, right?

The day continued to pass by, I attended classes in a blur, I kept on looking at my phone every second thinking Jason might call me through any of his friend's phone. Or he might send me a text. But I didn't have any of these.

Finally, school day ended and I moved back to my dorm room. I looked at the needles ticking seconds and minutes slowly on my small alarm clock.

"Huh," I chuckled. "Life just passes by like this. Nothing you want is with you, but it does not stop for you. It does not wait for you."

I grabbed mom's letter resting under my pillow and started reading her words again. That was my only source of talking to her now. When I read it I feel she is reciting it to me. I don't know why but her voice resonates in my head.

"You are strong," I read her words.

"Mom, am I?" I asked in space. I sat there doing nothing but looking at her words with no expression on my face, and no feeling running in me. I was blank as any dead could be.

I want to live, but I don't even know for what should I?

I heard my phone ringing. I immediately picked it up.

"You free?" I heard Savv's voice on other side. "Oh," I thought it was Jason. I kept the other part to myself.

"You did not answer me?" She tried again.

"Ahh, yes I'm right now." I finally said.

"Come to cafe then," she said in a calm tone. I frowned it was unlike her she was always screaming my ears off.

"Are you okay?" I inquired. "Yeah, I'm waiting for you." She said and hung up. I looked at the dim screen of my phone and then stood up. I pulled my hoodie over my head as it was cold outside these days, and started to walk to the cafe.

I opened the door. I continued searching the counter and tables for Savv, but she was no where near any of them.

"You are here," I heard her voice. I saw her coming in her shorts and black one-shoulder tee with a jacket in her hand.

"Is she not cold?" I thought in my mind.

I shook my head and asked her anyway, "You got free from your shift early today?"

"Nope, I'm not working her anymore now." She said moving to the empty tables and sat there . I stood there looking at her dumbfounded.

"Sit," she motioned to the chair opposite to her. I quickly moved to sit. And asked her again," You resigned?"

She nodded and then asked,  "You are fine now? I could not wait on the day of funeral I had some stuff to be taken care off. I'm so sorry."

"It's alright," I shrugged. "I'm going to Australia with dad," she told me out of blue.

"What?" I asked her again.

"He had some job there and grandma is not feeling good either so he wants to shift there again." She tried reasoning.

I looked down, trying to digest her new revelation. "I know, you do not have many friends and that you are going to be alone. But I don't have much choice." She voiced out in a sad tone looking down not making an eye contact with.

I plastered a fake smile on my face, that I have mastered now. "It's alright, you don't need to worry. I'm doing great." I told her in a cheery voice.

We talked for an hour, then she got a call from her father and she had to go as their plane was departing in few hours.

"Keep me updated, okay?" She said wrapping me in a warm hug.

"Okay," I said with a sad smile. After our small meeting. She was on her way to Australia.

I sighed and strolled to the gym. Because I had to train guys, and as well I wanted to ask Damon one last time. I wanted to have someone's help in making the choice.

I had made up my mind, somehow I was still not sure though. I wanted to talk to Jason once.

I walked in the hallway, then in the practicing area but Damon was no where to be seen. I could not see him anywhere, so I thought it would be for the best if I started training first.

I saw Chris and some guys practicing. So I went to them,

"Hey guys," I interjected to make my presence known. All of them either nodded at me or said a small hello and returned back to their training.

I told all of them about their weaknesses and continued telling them to maintain their posture. Just the usual of training routine. It was not very chirpy now that competition was over and the next was not in few more months.

It was about time I closed the gym. I had cleaned it. I had trained boys as it was my duty. I still had not talked to Damon. Dejected I locked the door. And started to make my way to the dorm again.

"You going back already?" I heard Damon shouting after me.

I stopped to see him coming to me with his practice bag hanging on his shoulders.

"You are coming from some practice?" I eyed the bag.

"Some of my friends from other clubs were going against each other, so I thought why not." He explained falling in steps with me now.

"How did it go?" I asked slowly.

"What do you think?" He asked and answered himself hurriedly as well, typical Damon.

"I won both of matches I had." he bragged puffing his chest dramatically.

I shook my head at him. I recalled suddenly that I had to ask him about something.

"Damon?" I said. "Hmm?" He hummed walking slowly.

"I wanna know your opinion on something." I said. He stopped for a moment and looked at me. I turned to face him as well.

"That would be?"he asked seriously that was a different sight to see.

"Uhh, you know about my acceptance letter?" I asked.

"Of course, I do." He nodded and started walking again.

"Should I go?" I asked him.

"You don't want to?" He raised one of his brows. I bite my cheek thinking.

"I don't know." I mumbled.

"What do you mean?" He stopped in front of me stopping me from walking anymore.

"I mean, I know it's a good opportunity, but I don't know. I mean I wished to go there because of mom," I trailed off.

Damon placed his hands on my shoulders making me look up.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to. But you don't need a reason to make some good decision for yourself." He simply said.

I kept on looking at him dumbfounded. He must have noticed my confusion as he explained.

"You have to do whatever you want for yourself. You don't need to make anyone else your reason. You simply don't need any reason to lead a happy life. It's just for yourself."

"Oh," I slowly said. "But Jason said to wait, what if he came back?" I asked to myself.

Damon did not catch up on whatever I was saying but told me anyway.

"If it will be destined you will meet somehow. But if that's not, even your wait won't yield anything." he said giving me a pat and turned around again to move to the dorm.

I saw his retreating back and ran to his side again. I had made a decision, That was for myself.