"It would be silly to come to a place like this" Matthew says looking around him and finally resting his eyes on my face. The vines which now reach high up to our shoulders surround us, it's dusk and even the air feels magical.
"And to just leave and not even have a look" he finishes his eyes glisten and I wonder how this person existed in the world without me knowing before now.
At the end of our path there is a seat with roses growing up and around the pergola. The sun is setting behind it.
His hands find mine and he lightly pulls me forward. I allow myself to be lead by him following through the roses smiling.
Matty sits down I take a seat next to him on the bench. He lifts his arm behind me resting it on the side and his hand comes to sit on my shoulder. We sit for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of the birds and the people who are now far away from us. Neither of us feels like breaking the silence. It's not uncomfortable or awkward it's actually nice to share a moment with him and not have to fill it with words.
"I want you to know" Matty says looking into the distance and not directly at me. My heart plummets. I think suddenly he's going to mess with me or tell me that I'm just not good enough. It would be true.
"I really should not have gone so far with you when we had only just met" he continues and I brace myself. He feels like he owes me and that's the only reason he's taken me out.
"I was not really in my right head, the smoking and drinking. And I shouldn't have taken advantage and..." he says, why must he do this now just let me have this moment, unspoiled and perfect.
"Again I can't express it right." He says pulling his hand through his hair.
"You don't owe me anything" I say desperately and he looks at me confused.
He takes my face in his hands, and then moves them through my hair as he tosses it off of my shoulders.
"What I am saying, is you are special and beautiful and I am punching so high right now and you seem to think that I'm better than you" he says to me looking incredulous.
"What I mean is I should not have moved in on you over one night it cheapens what we have, I don't see you as just someone to fuck with" he says and looks at me apologising for putting it so crudely.
"I wanna start this right not by just kissing you and making out with you when I'm high or as part of some stupid game" he says
"Am I making any sense whatsoever?" He asks smiling at me.
"I think I know what you mean, I have to tell you though I am just as culpable as you are. I was happy for those things to happen between us and I'm just as much if not more to blame when it comes to kissing everybody else" I say
"If anything I need to explain to you I am not that kind of person. I'm embarrassed that I acted in that way in front of everyone not because I'm ashamed of my body but because I don't do that kind of thing casually" I laugh and look at him shyly.
"I didn't think you were. And I definitely wouldn't think any less of you for that reason" he says
"I just want to ask you really if we can start this all again, not forget what happened but treat it as if this is our first date" he asks me.
<i>Date</i>? Did he just use the word date? Having felt so tense not knowing what he was going to say, the relief rushes through me and turns into sheer happiness. He definitely should not have that amount of influence over me yet but I cannot deny that he does.
"Of course, and can I just say this place" I say looking around at the roses and thorns with the distant skyline turning a pink, purple colour with the setting sun. "Is perfect for a first date" I finish.
A broad smirk comes across his lips, looking smug.
"Good choice Matty, by the way is your full name Matty or is it shortened" I laugh, as it suddenly dawns on me that I don't actually know.
"It's Matthew, Matthew James Henderson is my name" he says smiling at me
"I like Matty more, Matthew makes me feel like my mums talking to me" he says in his British drawl.
Matthew could not have been a more fitting name for him, I love Matty too of course. But I just know his mother refuses to shorten his name because she chose the single best name for him. I look at him; his angular jaw, green eyes and dark brown hair, and I wonder how he sees me? How have I been so lucky to attract his attention?
"I love your name, your Mum clearly intended you to be a Matthew and it suits you. But if you prefer Matty I will stick to that" I say to him cheekily. The wine has made me feel confident, again. I put my arm around his waist rubbing his side. Maybe it's the drink but I'm sure it's not, I want him to be mine. And I want to be his.
I would love to stay here, in this field of wild flowers with him forever however it's starting to get much cooler and I shiver. I can feel his body warmth under my touch and I cling to him.
This moment will most definitely stick with me for a long time.
"Here's my jacket" he says placing it over my shoulders as we stand to walk back.
"It's actually quite nice when you say my full name, it doesn't make me squirm like when other people do" he says, arm around me as we are walking back through the flowers.
He lights up as we walk back to the car.
He plucks a rose, not a typical red one but a white one that's sticks out from the rest.
"Well it wouldn't be a date without any flowers" he says passing it to me.