CHAPTER 87: ONE CALL AT A TIME

A few days later and I'm already able to walk around the house. Such a feat. Not that I'm pushing myself. I just have lotsa things to do. Quick recovery is my priority. Then fixing shits I destroyed.

Gonna be so busy.

"Are you sure you can already do that?" Malik's concerned voice sounds behind me as I try to do my eighth squat.

I frown, "I honestly have no idea," I tell him honestly, adding a chuckle to ease the tension I feel is going to come from him.

"You're even more unbelievable sick, you know that?" Malik said. I hear a hint of fondness, though, so I bet he isn't really mad at me. Only worried. Which I really appreciate.

Malik sits down on the bench in front of me. We're currently in Keaton's back garden. It's not as big as the one in his parents' house, but it's big enough for me to run around and try to get my strength back.

"I'll turn into a moss if I keep lying down," I tell him. And if I sound begrudging, it's because I am. Being stuck on a bed unable to do anything is really, really crappy.

"Have you called your friends, though?" Malik asks as he hands me a glass of water. I take it and I drink it before sitting down on the wooden table across from him. And then I shake my head. Malik groans at that. "Well, I'll be fine because I'm practically a stranger to your friends. But Keaton's in the same circle as some of yours, you know. What do you think will happen to him if they knew he'd been hiding you?" he asks and the seriousness in his voice slightly deter me.

But still, I am not ready, yet.

"I know. And I do feel bad for Keaton, but… I don't know…"

"Are you scared of seeing them?" he asks again and well, that sounds about right.

"I kinda am… For many reasons…" I admit. "I am not ready to face them, especially not when I am clearly unwell. Maybe after the bruises fade?" I tell him.

"In about a week, then?" Malik states, slightly unhappy.

"Sorry," I reach out my hands to hold his, seeing that he's clearly distraught, "I know you're also worried about me and I know I'm asking a lot by not telling you two anything. But I just need to get myself together and get ready to fix everything, okay? Can you please understand?"

"I do understand babe, that's why I keep telling you to at least call them. At least inform them that you are still alive, okay? Them not knowing that will gut them, do you realize that?" he asks a little more sternly this time and I feel more guilty and ashamed.

"I do…" I admit again. I take a deep breath, squeeze his hand, trying to find comfort.

"At least do that first, yeah? You can do it one step at a time, but you still have to take those steps, okay?" Malik says, squeezing my hands back in comfort.

"Yeah… Okay…. I'll do that…" I tell him and reassure myself that I can do it.

"Good, okay." Malik says and then gets up. "I'm gonna start on lunch. You go freshen up," he pats my head gently before disappearing into the house.

I sigh again before getting up and get into the bathroom to wash my face and hands and change my clothes. Then I sit down on the bed with my turned-off phone in my hand. It's already fully charged the first day I'm here, but I never turned it on.

Like I said, I'm scared.

I take a deep, deep breath and I turn it on. Waiting for the screen to light up and everything to load is really, really nerve-wracking.

And then all the notifications come in and it's even more dreadful than anything.

Missed-calls, messages, even emails. Wow.

I check none of them and just speed-dial Chuck.

I was thinking of calling Marsha, but on second thought, Chuck is the safer choice right now. At least he won't chew me out.

I hope.

It doesn't even ring twice when Chuck answers the phone.

"Hey," God, I hope my voice doesn't crack.

"Where the fuck are you?" Chuck, well, sounds angry. As he should be.

"On vacation," I tell him. Well, lie to him.

"Seriously Lee if you don't tell me what's going on I am going to find you and I'm going to kill you," he says and well, I kinda believe him.

"I'm sorry," I tell him, trying to call him, "but can you listen to me first before deciding on homiedcide?" I tell him and I chuckle, mostly to myself. "Homiecide? You get it? Cause we're homies? And…" then I stop. Because Chuck is clearly not in the mood to joke.

Though, i gotta say, that's a pretty good one. Where did I get it from anyway?

Anyways….

"I'm sorry for disappearing on you guys," I start and I'm really glad Chuck isn't saying anything. Though by the way he's breathing, he wants to. "I just have a lot of things going on and I'm trying to take care of them and it kinda got messy. But I'm fine and I'm currently with Malik and Keaton and I'm just here trying to get my head together, you know?" I tell him in a hurry in case he loses his patience.

"Do you really think that that explains anything?" Chuck is now positively enraged, I think. "You were gone for days without anyone able to contact you or even your two little fuck buddies! We came to your dorm, contacted people back home! Keaton said nothing and basically avoided everyone and now you're tellin me he was with you? Since when do you lie?" he asks and I choke on that.

"I'm sorry…" I think mosquitos sound louder than I am.

I also think I'm gonna cry.

"You have been keeping secrets from us, Lee. We don't do that. Keep secrets from each other," Chuck says and I have nothing to say to that honestly. "And you have been lying to us. And we definitely don't do that to each other."

"I know. I'm sorry," I tell him again.

"So tell me where you are now so I can come and get you and then we'll sort things out, okay?" Chuck says a little gentler now.

"No…" I take a deep breath and cut him off when he's about to go off on me again. "Please listen? Okay. I'm sorry for lying and keeping secrets and everything else. I'm gonna explain it to you guys later and make it up to you, but I need to settle some things first before I can do that, okay? Can you please just trust me with thi?" I plead again, more desperately now.

"I have been trusting you," Chuck says with a sigh.

"Please, Chuck?"

Silence. A pin drop may give me a heart attack.

"Fine," he says finally and I let out the breath I have been holding.

"Thank you," I tell him.

"Call Marsha yourself and explain to her why you have broken her heart going crazy looking for you," Chuck tells me and another pang of guilt hits me.

"I will. I will call her after this," I assure him.

"Good."

Another silence.

"Just, take care of yourself, okay?" his voice breaks and that breaks my heart.

"I will. Thank you. I love you," I tell him, almost choking on my own tears.

"I love you too," Chuck says and he hangs up.

The disconnect tone has never saddened me so much.