CHAPTER 61: I'VE WARNED YOU

We were silent on the ride back to my grandparents' place. I liked that, to be honest. I was just not in the mood to talk about anything. I just want to shower, have dinner, and then go out to meet my friends to drink and have fun.

But I don't think Chuck feels the same way. He keeps glancing over to me with worry written all over his face. He keeps fidgeting on the driver's seat. I close my eyes and pretend I notice nothing. I don't even feel bad. I mean, should I even? I didn't do anything, though?

"You're back early," grandma greets us with a smile as we walk into the house carrying all the stuff given by Chuck's and Marsha's family. I smile at her and grandpa before turning to Chuck.

"I want to shower. Can you put those in the fridge? I'll pack them tomorrow morning," I nod at the bags of food which needs to be stored in the fridge so it won't go bad.

Things like kimchi, pickles, marinated beef, and some sauces. The rest are ready-to-eat stuff like cakes, cookies, and mostly snacks. All homemade, of course. But there are also a lot of supplements such as red ginseng drink and vitamin pills and honey and basically everything you can find in an apothecary. They're just too sweet. All of them are.

Chuck nods and I smile at him before going to my room with stuff given by Chuck's family. I will also have to sort them and take what I need back to uni and leave the rest here. I drop them by the foot of my bed before taking my towel and change of clothes to the bathroom.

Again, in the bathroom, I take a good long look at myself. I haven't had that haircut I so badly need yet and now it gets even longer. I look at my face and see the dark circles that have been a constant accessory. I don't look thin. But I feel thin. I feel stretched.

I look at my body and sigh in relief when I see the marks Allen left me has all disappeared.

It's really uncomfortable to have to wear long pants in the summer. Not to mention the ones on my neck which I have to cover with some serious foundation. I can't even take my clothes off when playing at the beach, that ass.

No one has said anything and that's truly a relief. I really don't know what to answer if people ask. I really don't like lying. But I have been doing it so much lately I think I get better each time. I may have become an expert. That's truly nothing to brag about, really.

"You not done yet?" Bianca raps at the door and that startles me.

"Are you going out?" I put on my clothes and try to dry my hair as best I can before going out of the bathroom to meet with Bianca's glares.

"Why? I can't?" Bianca pushes me away and enters the bathroom. I roll my eyes at her attitude. Really. Kids at that age truly aren't cute.

"Where's Aro and Ari?" I ask her before she gets into the bathroom.

"Out playing like normal kids do." Bianca shrugs before slamming the door on my face.

I shake my head at the sweet treatment from my dearest little sister, "Bianca beat you to it," I grin at Chuck who stands between my room and the bathroom in the hallway, holding his clothes and looking pouty.

"She's scary," he quotes, walking back into my room and throws himself on my bed. I chuckle at that. She is, though.

"She's cute," I tell him, shrugging. That is also true.

"You're cuter," Chuck grins and I roll my eyes at that, "at least you don't slam doors on people's faces," he adds, shrugging and I laugh at that. That is also very true.

My body unconsciously tensing when I hear my phone rings. I look around the room and take my bag, take out the phone, and stare at it.

It's Allen, of course. It's always been him these past few days. He's persistent. Don't know what for, though. It's not like we're a thing or something.

I bite my lip, another habit I somehow acquired over the span of me being with Allen. I acquired quite a lot of them, actually.

I grip my phone tightly before walking out of my room, not saying anything to Chuck which I'm sure will just make him question me even more. But I don't really care. He can ask whatever question he wants. I just won't answer.

"Levi," Allen's voice sends shivers down my spine, as usual, even when he sounds so… gritty. Especially when he sounds so gritty.

"Allen," I greet him back with the sweetest voice I can conjure. I haven't tried it before, so I hope it works.

"Why aren't you answering my calls? Or my messages?" Allen asks between whispers and gritted teeth.

"I did answer," I lean against the wall outside of my grandparents' house, suddenly finding this whole situation funny. Ironic. But funny. Ironically funny? Hehehe.

"One, Levi. You answered one text saying 'you'll be back," and that's it!" he sounds so… anxious?

"I'm busy, Allen. I haven't' gone back home in a long while and so I have many people to visit and things to do and shits to deal with and I only have a few days here, so of course I won't have time to bother with other things." The line goes silent for a while and I can only hear Allen's soft breath. I say nothing, too, waiting for him to state whatever it is he's calling me for.

Maybe a minute passed with us in silence and that started to annoy me. I click my tongue, but careful for him not to hear it, "Allen, why are you calling?" I ask finally.

"I'm just…" Now he sounds startled and I can't help but to chuckle. Bitterly of course. But not entirely.

"Are you missing me?" I tease him and he goes silent once again. I chuckle once again when he fails to answer. "I miss you, though," I tell him.

"I'm sorry," Allen says softly and at that, I laugh.

"I'm not." I walk away from the house and just walk around as I clutch my phone tightly, "Not anymore," I tell him truthfully.

"Levi…" Allen let out a sigh and my heart clenches.

"I'm done making rules," I tell him as I sit down on my grandmother's garden, looking over the field of flowers not far from the house. They're full of my mother's favourite. "You, especially, are not going to make one for me." I have decided this some time ago.

I don't want rules any longer. I just want to 'do'. I tell him this and he goes silent. He's good at that. Being silent. Well, can't really blame him, though. This situation is kinda fucked up.

"I'll see you Monday," I say finally, no longer wanting to wait for him to make whatever decision or whatever excuse or just, whatever he is going to do or say. I hang up the phone and sit there for a while until I see movement in the corner of my eyes.

"You okay?" Chuck stands towering in front of me, looking down at me with his worried face which seems to be the default these days.

The sun is about to set and the light forms a halo around him. I stare at him and he stares back, waiting.

"I have a lot of secrets," I start, "All of them will get you to hate me. You and Marsha," I tell him, smiling and actually mean it.

"No. You know we won't," Chuck says as he crouches down in front of me, reaching for my hand which I welcome.

"Well, maybe. I'm not so sure. You shouldn't be either," I chuckle, playing with his finger. "Because…" I take a deep breath, closing my eyes, and when I open them, I smile even bigger, having made my decision, "I will do so much worse and keep even more secrets."

"What are you on about, Lee?" Chuck's anxiety really don't suit him. His grips on my hands tightening. But I really don't mind. "That's sounds too fuck up for you." He frowns.

"Well, it is what it is," I stand up and he follows immediately, grabbing my hand to stop me from walking away without any answer.

"Are you okay?" he asks again, more forcefully this time. More demanding. Nay. Commanding.

"I don't know," I smile at him. "For now, I think I am." I take my hand from him slowly and reach out to touch his face with the other.

"Lee?" Chuck softly whispers, voice breaking and it almost breaks my heart too. Almost.

"Just remember," I bring myself closer to him, tiptoeing, "I've warned you." I tell him before walking away, leaving a dumbfounded Chuck behind.