27. Knotted Feelings

I was meeting James at one of the restaurant in the resort, when he sneaked up behind me, and kissed my neck and wrapping his arms around me.

"Lori, baby. You smell so good." He whispered as he inhaled the side of my neck.

"Thank you James, you're not so bad yourself." He laughed to that, causing some heads to turn.

"Come, I already got us a table." He took my hand and walked to our table.

We were eating our lunch, when suddenly a very beautiful looking young woman walked to our direction. She looked furious, I instinctively tapped his hand. "Goddamn it...wait here baby, I need to take care of something." He muttered and stood up.

She had reached our table before he had the chance, to ushered her away. "So. You have found my replacement already? I should've known. I fucking love you James. You said you'll take care of me...." That was all I heard her saying, before he cut her speech and she was suddenly quiet."

"Elizabeth, do not do this here. We are done."

I wanted to leave them, but I was curious. Suddenly I needed to hear his explanation, I could be her in the next couple of months. My heart started to crumble when I thought of that, I finally had the strength to get up.

"I'm going to leave you two alone to settle this." I said to them, as I walked away from them. I felt like I was being drained, my body felt cold. My chest hurts, my visions started to get blurry. I was walking faster. I try to hide my face with my hair, I finally got out of the restaurant, and walk back quickly to our room.

I dropped myself down the bathroom floor and cried.

Crap! Crap! Crap!

I never felt like this, what the fuck was happening to me. I didn't want to have this feelings, it was hurting me too much.

Then I heard James knocking on the bathroom door.

"Lori, open up baby. Let me explain." I slowly got up.

Fuck! I'm doing this.

I got up and opened the door. There were so much that I wanted to say to him, but when I looked at his face, I couldn't say anything. I crumbled as he hug me, and hold me tightly.

"I don't want to be her James. I don't. But it fucking hurt too damn much. I fucking love you! I fucking love you!" I sobbed on his chest. As he hold me, and kept me in his embrace.

"She cheated on me. She was fucking her ex and taking my money." He stroked my hair, then cupped my face and kissed my tears away.

"I'm taking your love baby. You're mine. I will take care of you. Now stop crying, we are good."

That was all he said, he didn't say that he loves me back. He did say that he also have feelings for me. But I was still doubting him, he definitely felt lust towards me. I was not sure about anything else besides that.

There was a disappointment, but I tried to hide it in. I knew this was impossible from the start. I just had to wrapped my head around it. I need to leave him first, I couldn't stand the feeling if he left me first.

"Lori, listen I have another conference and a meeting with my client in fifteen minutes. We will have dinner after that okay? We will have it here if you're not feeling like going out." I smiled weakly and kiss him, trying to eased his mind.

I can do this. You're strong Lorraine. You will survive this. He's just one man. He can't destroy you.

He left me alone, I was pacing in our room. I was going mad in my mind, I need to go home, I need to think this through. I couldn't think with him judging my every move. I was checking all available flights home, I was calling Jeremy to pick me up at the airport.

I was on the last flight home. I felt my stomach knotted, I was constantly whipping my tears.

"Baby bear, what happen? Oh my...you look awful." Jeremy hugged me once he saw me at the airport. I let out a small laugh to his comment, he could always make me laugh.

"I love you Jeremy..only you."

"Oh oh...this is bad. Come let's get you caffeinated, we will talk. Then we are going back to my place. I'm not leaving you alone with your liquor."

"I'll take the caffeine, but can we go straight to yours? I'm tired, my stomach has been killing me. I just want to rest." 

We did just that, I was tuning out all of James' incoming call and text. Riley looked worried, but Jeremy assured him that everything was fine with me.

"I love him. I told him I fucking love him and he said and I quote....I'm taking your love baby. You're mine. I will take care of you... I mean, I get it that he doesn't love me back, but he sounded so cold. Oh fuck! I don't know. Maybe I should see Dr. Sheridan tomorrow. I'm sorry to pour all of this on you Jemmy. I'm your best man, we should be having one of those bachelor night thingy."

"Lori, you need stop babbling and start talking to James. Maybe he just need time to think about his feelings. You should give him the chance. I can see that he's much older, and more mature. People like him had more concerns, they have their own reasons why they remain single, meaning not to be tied down to a woman. You have to be patient Lori, if you really love him like you told me too."

Deep down I knew Jeremy was right. But he didn't know that I was his Sugar Baby. He didn't know about our sexual agreement. About how I was not even supposed to fall for him. I just sighed and nodded. There was nothing to fix. I couldn't get any advice, because no body knew the real issue. There was Adriana, but it was all quite clear on black and white on the agreement. I decided to take a bath, and go sleep on it.

Shit! I got my period.

This much thinking and stress, I should've known. "Jemmy, I need to go buy some pads for my cycle. Be back soon."

"Wait, I'll go with you and grab us some dinner."

Jeremy went to the restaurant next door, while I went to the drugstore and buy some pads, and meds for my headache.

We went back to his place, and had a nice dinner. Riley was doing all the talking. We were laughing, while I try to forget about James for a little while.

It was past midnight when I heard the murmurs out side my bedroom door. Then my door burst open, James was there. I didn't know how he find me but he was there. Jeremy and Riley were at my door saying sorry.

Damn Jeremy!

"Get dressed Lori, you're coming home with me." That was all it took for him to make me cry.