Tired of pushing away

But she did not wait. She observed. Evaluating. He realized he only had this one chance left! The chill in her eyes made him tremble, cut off his air to breathe.

" I would rather be curious about the connection between you and Uncle. " Her voice almost went dead. Once again she took a deep breath. He could hear the trembling inside. Crack. Something snapped in him, allowed him to take a closer look. See her. See what she was trying to hide. Crack! Her eyes were wide open, but her gaze didn't exactly touch his. Her eyes were wavering. Insecurity lurked in the deep blue and the deeper he dived into the cool blue, the clearer he could see it. All the facets she tried to hide from him. The fear and the pain. Crack!

Finally, he understood.

Crack! His chest hurt.

Now he stared at her. The view of her grief ripped through him, hurting too much. He didn't understand.

He lifted his shoulders up, bent his head over her and wrapped his arms around her center. His gaze was still deeply immersed in hers. "He hates me. That's right." He remarked calmly and noticed one thing. He was tired of pushing her away. He leaned his forehead against hers. Near her he had a feeling of finding peace, he did not want to lose this feeling. The effect she had on him...

He closed his eyes. Breathe in. Out. In...

"But he doesn't hate me directly..." He clenched his teeth, slowly realizing. "rather my father or what he did and the consequences." It poured out of his mouth, like a mighty river flowing out of him. Like dams were being broken. He couldn't stop it. But the feeling that followed was firm, steady, but also warm and refreshing at the same time.

"What has he done?"

He smiled without humor. The truth wasn't shallow waters. He needed to face her. He was reluctant to be fooled further. "It's a long story..." He swallowed. "For this we should sit down." He pulled her out of the bathroom and sat down with her on the soft divan and leaned back. Where should he start? "Did Fabien ever tell you who his father is?"

She shook her head.

Her look was innocent and curious, giving him confidence. He had the security of knowing he could drop his guard in front of her, even if it was hard for him. She would not judge him.

"I'm sure you know that my father is also Fabien's father. It happened just before my parents' wedding." He felt he was choking on his words. It was a miracle he could even voice it. A secret that had almost torn his family apart. "Frankly, a few days before my parents' wedding. Father had left on a bachelor's estate in Paris. He was probably under the influence of alcohol and some opiates. I don't know what else his friends had slipped him. If he'd been sober, he'd have seen right through that farce." Alexandre suddenly got up. His eyes were fixed on the bottle of cognac. With heavy steps he walked to the bar. His fingers trembled as he reached for the bottle. "That's what I keep telling myself. "My parents' marriage was a love union. I know it's unusual, especially in our circles. Which is why this story had long threatened my parents' marriage." The golden liquid poured into his glass three fingers wide.

He sipped his drink silently. It burned like fire down his throat. He looked up, gazing straight into her beautiful eyes. He just wanted to sink into it. Silence. It took a lot of effort. But her clear gaze gave him strength.

"Aurelie de Bourbon, Fabien's mother was still Gaston de Cocieux's fiancée when it all began."

Her eyes were wide open as the knowledge made its way through her mind. The shock flashed across her face. She looked kind of cute as she stuttered so innocently. "That woman... that woman... was Fabien's m....mother?"

He nodded, slowly walked back towards her to sit down next to her. He needed another sip for the next sentence. He was tired, feeling drained of things he shouldn't care about. "But she did not love your uncle, unlike him. I think he still idolizes her even to this day. "That's why he can't stand the whole de Valois clan unless they die."

She took a deep breath. But she did not move. For seconds.

"Then who did she love? Your father?"

She dropped a bomb on him. He was surprised. Sometimes she was sharper than he thought. He nodded.

He needed to face her. She gave him one more chance. He should use it well.

It took him some effort, even if he decided to continue, this tense feeling remained.