Chapter 10

A chaotic blur. That's the only way she could describe it. Unfamiliar territory. Something she definitely isn't good at dealing with. Numerous people rushing left and right, shouting some nonsense (or at least to her) about the wardrobe not being in crisp condition, preparing camera equipment and other technical gadgets that amazed, but frightened her at the same time.

"What am I doing here again?" Bambi asks, watching the current state of her surroundings feeling both unsure and confused.

"To kind of...manage...the shoot?" Eunah answers, appearing rather uneasy.

"Can't I just go back to the office and edit something? Anything..." Bambi sighs, wanting to crawl back to her safe place.

"Who sent you here?" Her co-worker questions, giving her a knowing look.

"Joanna," She answers flatly with a frown. Their boss' raucous voice echoes in her brain and almost instantly, she shudders in fear that her eardrum might get damaged.

"There's your answer."

"Ahhhhhh... EUNAH!!!"

This is exactly why she hates Joanna, but loves her job; which is problematic given that she adores the work and would drown in it given the chance, if she just didn't have a horrifyingly awful boss breathing down her neck now and then.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?" Eunah whines back. She understands Bambi's sentiment, but knows she'd be dead meat if they don't get both their butts to work.

"Why a travel fashion shoot all of a sudden? Is Joanna out of her fucking mind?!"

As soon as Bambi entered the office a couple of hours before, she found it half empty. Joanna, as if on cue, started ramming her with her laptop; ranting about how employees never get memos these days, because they're too lazy for their own good. By the end of it, she practically spat on Bambi's face, saying that she had to go to the studio ASAP.

"It happened really early in the morning, apparently," Eunah explains with a regrettable sigh, "One of the biggest shareholders of the magazine insisted upon it."

"Which one?"

"Park Summit Holdings," She responds, trying not to roll her eyes, "They've got this whole winter clothing line out and they want to promote it. Since the magazine is doing quite well, they--"

"Wanted to use one of their resources for their very own profit," Bambi finishes for her as she lets out a deep breath, "Let's just get this over with."

She swears to herself that if Sandara has anything to do with this, she will push her down the elevator shaft of their apartment building.

"We're lucky we got five models on the last minute," Eunah's voice up perks up a little, "Everything seems to be conveniently falling into place."

"They're not ready yet?" Bambi questions, raising an eyebrow. It's been at least three hours since she got to the studio.

"Well, I kind of wanted your input with the outfits so..." Eunah shrugs sheepishly.

"Isn't that supposed to be a stylist's job?"

"We're not a fashion magazine, so we don't have any of those."

Bambi sighs and shakes her head. "Make-up artists?"

"DIY. We're providing the make-up though so..."

"So much for everything falling into place, huh?" Bambi retorts in a sarcastic manner as she tilts her head at Eunah.

"You get the male models anyway. I'll handle the girls." The dainty woman sends her a sweet smile before rushing off to the other side of the room.

Bambi then skips her way to where the male models stand, internally reminding herself to maintain a professional and pleasant front.

"Morning!" She greets, clasping her hands together, "Glad you guys could come last minute."

The three lanky men turn around to greet her back properly.

Almost instantly, Bambi's 'front' withers away along with her sanity. She stares at them in horror, repeatedly warning herself to keep her eyeballs intact.

"Hey!!!" Chanyeol bubbles in his all too familiar loud voice. He takes a step forward to shake her hand. "It's the roommate!!!"

She immediately jumps back at the sudden movement and holds one hand up. "No, no. Stay there." She mutters to herself growing embarrassed, "Oh my God." What are the fucking chances?

"Hey," Jongin greets calmly with a small smile.

"Hi." She waves briefly and returns an awkward smile. Clearing her throat a little too hard, she continues, "So um...are you wearing the outfits right now?"

"Yeah. All the clothes came labelled, so we had no trouble with it." Jongin nods as he gestures at the rack of clothes not too far away from them.

Bambi raises her voice from overenthusiasm, "Great! So, you don't need my consultation whatsoever, right?" She badly wants to ram her head into the wall to recover from the shock, but that would cause her even more pain.

"Actually, I think I need some of that." Sehun finally manages to get a sentence out his mouth after quietly observing the entire time.

"I'm sorry, are you talking to me?" Bambi snaps, forcing a smile.

Silence engulfs them and he could only stare at her, trying to maintain an indifferent expression. She, on the other hand, had no problem letting him know just how exasperated she really is.

"Hey, Yeol. Have you seen that really cool vending machine outside?" Jongin breaks, wanting to leave the two alone.

"What? Where? Really?????" Chanyeol hops up excitedly and follows him. Though unsure of what exactly is going on, he's aware of the tense atmosphere between Sehun and Bambi.

"You look fine. You don't need my consultation." She gives him the once-over before walking away from him.

"Bambi..." He catches up and manages to stand in front of her to block the way.

"What?" What more do you want?!?!?! Her angry eyes meet his. "Do you need anything else? Iced tea? Waffles? Some whiskey, maybe? A condom, perhaps? A chick to bang in the next room before you do this shoot?"

"Please don't be like this," He mutters gently, though keeps a stoic expression on.

"I can be whatever I want," She retorts, raising her voice, "Why are you talking to me anyway? I AM 'no one' to you, right? No one. You've already made it clear that my existence doesn't matter. So, why don't you just do the same here?"

Sehun offers her no reply, but continues to gaze at her.

What more could he say anyway? He was half-aware of his actions when he uttered those two words. He didn't mean it, but something in him just burst and made him say something so spiteful out loud. Just like any other being, he acted out of anger and resentment.

During their fight, he urged her on, wanting to understand her more, but the opposite happened. He was ready to give up after it all came crashing down, thinking that she was a lost cause. But he was proven wrong as soon as he spotted that message spray-painted all over their front door.

'Just die already, Bambi Villavieja! Stupid bitch!!' All written in blood red.

If the old Sehun stumbled upon it, he wouldn't have given it another thought. He'd think, 'Serves her right.' Other people were sharing the same sentiment as him, he'd convince himself further. But what he did next made him realize that he no longer wanted just to get to know Bambi or understand her better. He had gone in too deep. The tiny bit of curiousity when they first met grew into fondness and later on, turned into genuine and painstakingly sincere care. He couldn't fathom why either, but as he scrubbed the spray-paint off the door with determination and urgency, he accepted everything with a sigh.

"Male models, please! Front and center!" The booming voice of the photographer's assistant interrupts their silent gaze war.

Bambi takes this a sign to avert her eyes elsewhere and finally walk away from the scene. She knows this time he won't bother coming after her since he's needed for the shoot.

And he doesn't. He couldn't. He only watches her with a long sigh until his friends snap him back to reality, dragging his mind to work.

They avoid each other for the rest of the day. Bambi goes as far as requesting Eunah to switch model management duties with her. The latter gladly accepts, not knowing why her co-worker has a sudden change of heart; though her hunch tells her that it has something to do with Bambi's 'savior' that day when she almost got fired.

Who wouldn't forget a face like his? And what are the chances that he'd be a model on the last minute shoot of the magazine? Even if Eunah spends most of her time wondering and speculating about the relationship between Bambi and Sehun, she keeps her mouth shut, knowing that Bambi is quite a private person.

The clueless girl, who has no interest in what Eunah daydreams off into, tries her best to blend in with hustle and bustle. The shoot goes on until the late afternoon and Bambi painfully feels the absence of her laptop and desk in the office. She does admit to herself it's quite fun to be tackling a new challenge; if only the person she doesn't want to see the most isn't there. Plus, the photographer seems to have some kind of attitude problem she couldn't wrap her head around.

She lets out a deep sigh and massages the back of her neck. Couldn't get any worse, as they say.

"So, I take that you and Sehun aren't on speaking terms?" A playful yet deep voice asks.

Bambi turns to Jongin, sending him a sarcastic smile.

He shrugs casually, shaking the issue off. "I suppose you aren't into parties either?"

"Hmm...room full of people I don't want to interact with, plus exceedingly loud music I don't really listen to. Oh and the alcohol mixed with smoke mixed with sweat mixed with sex stench that makes it even harder to breathe, let alone stand for the entire night," She replies while pretending to think about it earnestly.

"Well played," He chuckles.

"That was your attempt at inviting me?" She raises an eyebrow unimpressed, even if his smoldering good looks want to make her say otherwise.

"A bit, yeah." He cracks a smile.

She lets out a short laugh. "Well, with the wonderful description I've just laid out for you, I'm actually tempted. But you know...there's your friend I have to worry about," She remarks half-serious and half-kidding.

"Right, of course." He nods his head in agreement. "I can just uninvite him then. You instead him for one night."

"We both know you wouldn't do that." She shares a small smile while maintaining a sincere tone. "Have fun at your party though. It's a nice gesture."

He returns a faint smile and waves shortly, knowing this is his limit.

Although Sehun would be severely disappointed, Jongin did try his best. She's just as he described her: closed off, surprisingly humorous and witty, but difficult above all else. There is one thing he noticed that Sehun hasn't and it is that she's nothing like his best friend's ex-girlfriend. And that may or may not be the exact reason why Sehun's so drawn to her.

***

"Sooooo. How'd the shoot go?"

Bambi slams the front door behind her and hastily heads to the living room. "I knew it. I fucking knew it."

"So? It was pretty obvious. I'd be surprised if you didn't know." Sandara coolly shrugs her friend's irritation off. "Same goes for our Sehunnie."

"Park Summit Holdings and a clothing line?????" Bambi places her hands on her hips, fixing her best glare at Sandara.

"What? I got it with the car." Sandara shrugs once more as she skips her way to the kitchen.

No wonder it was all last minute. "Why do you feel the need to do this to me? I'm not a child, Sandara." Bambi leans on the kitchen counter, maintaining a distance between the two of them.

"Well, for someone who claims she isn't, you sure are acting like a big one." Sandara waves a finger left and right with a sarcastic smile.

"Whatever. I'm not having this conversation with you." Bambi walks off to the direction of her bedroom.

Sandara's smile fades as she rushes in front of the younger female. "Yes. You are."

"Sandara. Please."

"Look, I'm not Amber or Kyungsoo or Jongdae, so I'm going to be laying this out to you straight." The older one warns as she continues harshly, "Wake the fuck up, Bambi."

"What is your problem?! Get out!" Bambi yells at the top of her lungs while trying to push Sandara aside.

"You! You are my problem! You are EVERYONE'S problem! That's fucking it!" Although Sandara has a slimmer build, she manages to push her back harder. "I'm SICK and TIRED of THIS Bambi!!!! What ever happened to the old one? The Bambi that smiled more than cried? The Bambi that was never afraid to take risks? The Bambi that was already fucked up but didn't give a flying fuck about any problem that life threw her way?! What happened to you?"

"Life just fucked me up a little bit more. Pushed me over the edge. Drowned me just when I was about to breathe." Bambi avoids her eyes and murmurs, "If you don't know how it feels, then you really have no right to be talking to me like this."

"I may not know how it feels, but I sure know this isn't right." Sandara argues, throwing her hands up, "And it's not just Sehun. It's every other person who's tried to reach out to you ever since that asshole got run over by a car."

Bambi sends her a look of disbelief. How could she say that? Even if Aaron was an awful boyfriend to her, he was still a good friend to Sandara.

"You know I thought I lost you? I really did. You just...you shut everyone out. Even your parents couldn't do anything. And then...you went on that rampage." Sandara pauses while recalling the unfortunate event that occurred a little after Aaron's death.

Bambi cringes at the memory. She was desperate at the time and felt like she needed to get back at her late ex-boyfriend in any way possible. In the end, she realized what she was doing to herself by sleeping with every other guy she met. Even after she stopped, she still maintained a certain distance from her loved ones.

"But one not so ordinary day, he changed everything," Sandara says with a faint smile, remembering the day that Sehun moved in as tears slowly well up in her eyes, "You started talking to us more, seeing us more, laughing and smiling more. Sure, you got pissed off too, because he wouldn't stop pushing your buttons; but it was only when he came that you slowly started going back to the Bambi we knew. And I swore on your birthday celebration, I could almost feel as if Aaron never happened."

They stand still in silence. Bambi keeps her head down while the only thing left for Sandara to do is burn holes on the former's forehead.

"I think you should go," Bambi whispers, wanting to avoid the already worsening confrontation. She knows that Sandara deeply cares about her and wants to help, but this is too much for her to handle.

"I'm not going anywhere until you realize what you're fucking doing to yourself." Sandara folds her arms across her chest, unafraid of anything her friend may throw at her now.

"What do you want me to do, Sandara?!" Bambi screams, finally glaring back at her while trying to stop her tears from falling.

"I want you to get your head out of your ass and drill in your fucking mind that Aaron was a jackass. There were some good points to him, just like every other person in the world, but he was a fucking douchebag."

"I made my mistakes too."

"Sure, you did. But they weren't as dire as his!"

As silence takes over once again, they continue to glower at each other with no sign of backing down.

Bambi is the first to sigh. "Let's just stop, okay? This isn't even about Aaron."

Sandara lets out a sarcastic chuckle as she continues in a raised voice, "Yes, it is!! It ALWAYS has been about Aaron! Every fucking problem that's come is because of Aaron. You almost killed yourself, because of Aaron. You isolated yourself from your family and friends, because of Aaron. You slept with every man you could get your hands on, because of Aaron. Now, you're pushing possibly one of the most amazing people you will ever meet because he reminds you of Aaron."

Bambi's jaw clenches as she looks away.

In that instance, Sandara knows she's stung her deeply. "Am I not right?" She urges in a firm tone.

"Amazing, huh?" Bambi forces a fake smile and continues through gritted teeth, "Why don't you just go and suck him off and leave me the fuck alone?"

"Please. That's not going to work on me." Sandara rolls her eyes, knowing too well that the younger one's using one of her many defense mechanisms. "I can see where you'd think he's like Aaron, but they couldn't be more different. They're both two-faced. But the thing is, Aaron showered you with as much love as he could to cover up for being the life-sucking asshole that he is. Sehun's the opposite. He tries to limit the amount of care he shows to you by being a pest in front of you, but does so many wondrous things when you aren't looking."

"What in the hell do you owe him?" Bambi spouts impatiently.

"What?" Sandara questions a bit taken aback.

"Why do you think so highly of him that you'd go this far????"

"I don't think highly of him, Bambi." Sandara sighs, slowly growing tired of the intense exchange happening between them. "All I'm saying is that he's not a bad person. And he's definitely not Aaron. We've been telling you that numerous times."

Bambi offers no reply, knowing that Sandara has more to say.

The smaller girl's gaze and voice soften, "You may not be a starving child in Africa or an orphan with a tragic past, but you're still broken." She nears Bambi and strokes her arm comfortingly. "And it's okay. It's okay to be broken. What a lot of people these days can't seem to understand is that anyone can be broken or fucked up even without the technicalities of a 'difficult' life." She squeezes her hand and looks up at her with a sad smile. "But don't let that brokenness define who you are."

Bambi's eyes meet hers and she has to bite her lip from breaking down then and there.

"You know how I am. I can't sugarcoat anything for shit. I need you to hear it the way it is." Sandara tilts her head, studying Bambi's expression closely. She wipes a tear from the younger one's cheek and chuckles, "You wanna kill me right now, don't you?"

"Kind of." Bambi frowns while wiping the rest of the tears on her face.

Sandara continues to look at her slightly amused. "So, are you going to talk to him?"

"I already have," Bambi sniffs.

"Let me guess? In that hostile cat way you always resort to."

Bambi's eyes immediately snap at her and she makes a great effort to send her best glare.

"I'll leave you be for now." Sandara snorts at her rather childish reaction.

"I'm grateful for the pep talk, but it's still a no-no on Sehun's part."

"Whatever." Sandara throws a hand up and rolls her eyes. "As long as you know what I'm trying to tell you."

And she does.

Sandara woke her up to the reality at hand. She listened to both Amber and Kyungsoo well but missed the point entirely. It was instincts. She blocked out and filtered every vital matter they presented. Even if she promised herself she'd live her life according to her rules, no longer restrained by her past, she's slowly coming to realize that it isn't that easy after all.

When has anything life-changing been easy anyway? Aside from ordering two boxes of pizza for her to finish all by herself.

If anything should happen, the first step would have to involve Sehun; which she, unfortunately, isn't too keen about. Because it means that she'd have to talk to him first. After that inimical mess at the studio, she isn't sure if there's still any use in trying.

She sighs to herself in bed and stares at the ceiling for a while. Although there are several thoughts running through her mind, her eyes slowly start to give in to the slumber that her body's yearning for. For now, it's safe to say that she doesn't have to deal with Sehun since he's at that party.

Or so she thinks.

Only a few hours after she met the sleep she desired, her phone starts ringing like crazy. Being a heavy sleeper, it takes more than just a few minutes to wake her up. But when she finally does, the line between reality and fantasy blurs like fog on a heavily raining day.

"Hello?" She answers groggily.

"Bambi! Finally!" The voice on the other line sounds relieved.

She could barely hear them, given that the background noise is distracting her. But she chooses to ask, "Who's this??"

"Jongin."

"How'd you get my number??"

"I didn't." He pauses and after a few minutes, the chaotic noise from before on his side disappears. "Listen, I need you to come over here."

"What?"

"There's been a situation."

"What time is it????" She rubs her eyes, trying to get a grip on what's happening.

"Late," He replies vaguely.

"No," She snaps half-awake.

"Bambi, I believe you don't actually have a choice."

"I do and I'm choosing to hang up."

"No, no, no, no, no, no! Wait!!" He blabbers in an urgent, but pleading manner, "Please! Just listen to me for one second!"

Bambi decides to hear him out but offers no response.

"I know you and Sehun aren't exactly talking, but..."

"But what?"

He hesitates for a moment before finally revealing, "You have to pick him up here."

"What?! No!" She exclaims as she checks the caller on her phone. She grimaces at the name, 'Shithead', glowing back at her. The bastard is using Sehun's phone, which is definitely a clear sign that her loftmate could be monumentally drunk or they could be pranking her into making a complete fool of herself.

"You HAVE to."

"Why do I HAVE to????? I'm his roommate, not his chauffeur. For fuck's sake!"

"Well, he's kind of insisting that you should."

"What?"

"He's really drunk and he says he won't leave the club unless YOU pick him up."

That shitfaced giant. "PLEASE. Do you really expect me to believe that bullcrap?" She sits up from her bed and further yells, "If none of you wussies can do it, the bouncers can always throw him out!"

"Not really..." Jongin sighs explaining, "He's really good friends with the owner, so he's threatening to get anyone fired if they try and kick him out in this state."

"Ugh! Whatever. Leave him there for all I care. He's being such a baby," Bambi retorts, annoyed at Sehun's childish behavior.

"But--"

She hangs up before he could convince her otherwise.

Who does Sehun think he is? Acting as irresponsible as a 16-year-old boy not being able to handle his share of alcohol and then ending up calling someone else to take care of him.

Is she his mom? No.

Is she his designated driver? No.

Is she his girlfriend? Hell fucking no.

Some nerve the jerk has trying to get her to pick him up at the club.

She then puts her phone away and turns on the other side of her bed. If she receives another call, she's going to have to trash Sehun's bedroom before putting the very device disturbing her so late at night on silent.

For what feels like only a few minutes to Bambi, but in actuality is a couple of hours, an all too familiar ringing wakes her up once more.

She groans in irritation but answers the phone.

"Hello? Ms. Bambi?"

"Jongin?" She asks confused.

"No, this is Minseok, ma'am," A mildly gentle voice replies.

"Huh?"

"I'm one of the bartenders here in the club your boyfriend's in."

"Boyfriend?"

"Sehun."

"He's not my boyfriend," She clarifies, slowly coming to her senses.

"Oh wait. Sorry. You ARE Bambi, right?" Minseok says rather concerned.

"Yes."

"I'm gonna need you to pick your boyfriend up, ma'am."

It takes her all the patience in the world to not yell at him. "He's NOT my boyfriend. For God's sake."

He sighs, but continues in an unconvinced tone, "Whether he's your boyfriend or not, I'm gonna need you to pick him up."

"NO!" She shouts at the top of her lungs.

He calmly tries to reason, "Ma'am, I know it's late but--"

"I'm NOT doing it! Why does it have to be me?!"

"Well, besides the fact that he's insisting upon it, all his friends left him, and I might get fired if I don't try to get you here, you're actually number one on his speed dial." His calm and cool tone stays as if this sort of occurrence happens way too many times to him.

"WHAT?!" She exclaims sitting up on her bed, her mind completely awake.

"Besides the fact that--"

"I KNOW! Why don't you call number two on his speed dial?! That ought to knock some sense into him."

"Ma'am, I'm going to save us the trouble and tell you now that you're in all fifteen speed dials," He concludes in monotone.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!?!??!!?!?!?!?" She springs out of her bed and starts making obscene hand gestures. What is the matter with Sehun?!?!?!?!?!?! WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

"Ouch."

"Sorry." She lets out a sharp sigh, wishing that she'd put on her phone on silent after the first call.

"So, are you going to--?" Minseok manages to ask in a more positive tone.

"No," Bambi responds flatly as she hangs up on him.

An idea pops in her head, reminding her of what she's supposed to do if she received another call about Sehun. But just as she's about to exit her room and release all hell, she stops at the sight of her reflection at a nearby mirror. Her eyes fixate on the oversized grey material keeping her warm.

Little...spoon... She reads as her hand grazes over the white text printed on the sweater she's wearing.

'All I'm saying is that he's not a bad person. And he's definitely not Aaron.'

"Goddammit," She mutters under her breath, already regretting what she's about to do.