Cats Are Idiots

The Toffee incident did nothing to tone down Mama Jiao's determination to find Zheng Tan a girlfriend.

He was annoyed, so he was rarely home these days. He only went home for meals and to sleep. Mama Jiao berated him because of this.

Zheng Tan Tan went home at dinner time. Mama Jiao, who was cooking in the kitchen, saw him come inside.

"If you don't spend all your time wandering outside, you could be a father by now." Mama Jiao was chopping ribs. "You probably won't know even if you become a father."

Zheng Tan listened to the sound of knife-on-ribs and felt a chill down his spine. He rubbed his ears. Mama Jiao was very frightening sometimes.

One day, the weather was sunny and the temperature had risen.

Zheng Tan was enjoying his stroll. He sniffed a flower in the grass and sneezed.

It had been a week since he gave Long Qi the pocket watch. He didn't know what Ye Hao was doing with it now. Wei Ling had been busy, and the Jiaos hadn't had any visitors recently. He had been watching Papa Jiao to see if he behaved differently.

Zheng Tan had taken another trip to Uncle Wintersweet's apartment. It was still empty, so he didn't go again.

He walked to a playground. People were playing soccer, and no one noticed a cat watching them.

The playground was one of the older ones on campus. It was built on lower ground compared to the buildings in the area. Zheng Tan stood on a hill and looked down. The playground was surrounded by evergreens and shrubs. The trees didn't change much in winter, nor did they sprout new branches in spring.

He rested against a tree and pushed away a few blades grass that blocked his view.

Bang!

A soccer ball hit the barbwire fence and bounced back. A student ran over to pick up the ball and saw Zheng Tan sitting against a tree. He yelled, "Come look, this cat is sitting like a human!"

Zheng Tan eyed him. He ignored the students.

Another student came over and said to his friend, "You idiot! Cats sit like this because they are sick. Their hind legs are in pain, and they don't want to support their weight using their legs."

The other boy exclaimed, "No wonder - this cat looks quite heavy. How sad! It's a sick cat."

Zheng Tan rolled his eyes. He was very healthy!

The two students went back to their game of soccer.

Zheng Tan took out his frustration on the flowers in the grass. He had sat like this before, and no one had said anything about it.

This was the first time he had heard that explanation. He didn't know if that was the reason why other cats sat like this.

He now knew after meeting Toffee that not all cats were born healthy.

He felt very lucky. House cats were cheap, but were generally in better health and could survive in the wild.

He stood up and shook off the bits of grass on his fur. He looked at the sky, then left campus through the nearest gate. He was bored and decided to go for a stroll.

He walked along the edge of campus. He walked on the fence whenever there was one.

It was around three in the afternoon. Student often set up stalls on this road to make some extra cash. Most of their goods were little things and clothes that targeted girls. It was low-cost business, and they had plenty of customers. People often had to fight for space. They used cushions to mark their space, then quickly set up their stalls.

By five, the street was full of stalls. Zheng Tan sat there watching the students work. He suddenly heard a few girls cheering.

The school planted bamboos along the fence in this area. The leaves blocked Zheng Tan's view.

He pushed away the leaves, then traced the sound to its source.

A young man in his twenties with a mohawk dyed blond was standing there. He looked like a rascal on the streets.

He was doing tricks with poker cards and eyed the chests of the girls around him.

Zheng Tan stared at him in disdain. After watching what Uncle Wintersweet was capable of, little tricks like this were nothing.

However, street magicians were becoming rarer and rarer. The ones still around were often quite capable. They were at least better than the so-called magicians on TV.

Zheng Tan watched the man do his tricks. Though he had despised the man, he now admitted he was quite good.

The young man felt someone staring at him and turned.

He was quite alert, Zheng Tan thought. Then he saw the man's face.

He looked familiar. Zheng Tan was sure he had never seen this man before.

How strange!

Who was he?

Zheng Tan couldn't figure out why he looked so familiar.

The young man had seen Zheng Tan as well and was startled. His hands shook, and the card flew from his grip. The girls watching laughed.

Zheng Tan watched him for a while then left to pick up Youzi.

The young man turned around to look behind him for the third time only to see the black cat was gone. He quickly smiled at the girls around him.

Ten minutes later, a car pulled over, and the driver whistled.

"Sorry my dears, I gotta go." The young man pocketed his cards and walked to the car. He turned to blow the girls a kiss. Many of them blushed.

The young man got in the back. He crossed his legs and rested his arms on the back of the seats.

"You're late, brother Wei," the young man said.

The driver was Wei Ling, who Zheng Tan hadn't seen in a while.

"No harm done. Gave you time to pick up girls," Wei Ling said.

"Don't even mention it. I was about to ask the girls for their numbers when I ran into a cat. It was staring at me."

Wei Ling raised an eyebrow and asked, "Was the cat black?"

"How did you know? I told you black cats were weird." The man slapped his leg. He recalled the black cat he met and didn't notice Wei Ling's tone.

"You finally decided to come home? I thought you were going to continue your rebellion and never look back," Wei Ling said.

"I'm enjoying life, not being rebellious. Also, I might be persistent, but that doesn't mean I can't grow up," the man said.

"You call this grown up? Looking like this?" Wei Ling laughed.

"What's wrong with my look? I like it." The man touched his hair.

"There's nothing wrong with it, except that it's going to make your father explode out of anger."

"What do you think I look like? An idiot? A rascal? Riffraff?" The man shook a finger. "Have you never heard of riffraff philosophy? Without riffraff, our country's history would be much more boring. Think of the kings that started dynasties. Many of them were riffraff. People dive during soccer matches too. You need riffraff in life."

"I didn't know you are a philosopher now." Wei Ling shook his head.

The man in the backseat didn't argue. He looked out of the window and asked, "Are we going to that club you mentioned? The Night Tower, is it?"

"No. We are visiting brother He Tao."

"God no! He's going to kill me!" the man moaned.

"Don't worry about it. I'll buy you a coffin."

The next day, Zheng Tan didn't leave campus. He was with the four musketeers. They were sitting on a branch of a large parasol tree and watching a group of people fly kites on the lawn.

Wei Ling was driving. They were on the main road on campus.

"Why are we here? Why aren't we going to the Night Tower?" the man in the back complained while chewing gum. He stretched his arms. Brother He Tao had given him a good beating yesterday. Thankfully, he didn't land any blows on his face.

Wei Ling didn't say anything. He drove slowly and searched the trees on either side of the road. He saw the four cats on a parasol tree and smiled. "Found them."

The man in the back opened the window and looked over to where Wei Ling was pointing. He saw people flying kites and thought Wei Ling was searching for someone in their group. Then he saw the cats and his smile disappeared.

"Cats are idiots!" he cursed, then spat the gum in his mouth into a garbage can. The trash can was a meter away but the gum landed safely inside. He was very proud.

His good mood didn't last though. When he looked up, he almost choked.

The four cats on the tree branch had all turned and were staring at him.