chapter 2 vol01 Far away

As i stood in front my school and he's waving his hand towards me with a smile on his face ...A smile that he has for his little brother

[..My father told me, My mom died while giving me birth and he wasn't able to move because of shock that he losts his entire world and then a family living next door came hospital for us and their son who was 7 year old that moment was the first one to hold me in arms ...

First warmth of a person I felt, First person that my eyes looked at, First person who looked at me with a smile on his face was yong rae hyung

I know it sounds stupid but I think from that time to till now, my eyes are still on yong rae hyung they can't look at any other person..]

Suk chin aa what are you doing standing there ,Come here I have to drop you home he said to me while waving his hand toward me

suk chin: yeah , hyung lets go home

yong rae:how was your day at school

suk chin: it was ok .what about you hyung?[sitting behind him on the bike I can't think of anything ... My mind always go blank when i am with him and when i am away from him I can't think of anything beside him...]

yong rae hyung laughed and said it was not good yet but i think it's going to be great at night

why?? hyung i asked

[ i already know the answer he was going to give but still i asked]

because I am going for a date hyung turned his face toward me and said because of sun rays i couldn't see his face clearly but i can feel him smiling

I love when hyung smiles but the same time i hate this smile too because it make me feel helpless and I feel like crying

Aah there you go hyung said after stopping bike

looking at my house I sighed! Oh yes I am home okay hyung thank you , You want come inside and he said no I have to go to do some elders stuff so go inside and rest

As i get inside my room and lay down on floor ...yes floor why? because this is what I am feeling like now "too low"

I thought hundred No thousand of times that i should confess to hyung but why I Can't i just do that? because I'm afraid if he said I am too young to think like that or if he said he's disgusted because I'm a guy and after that if he never came to pick me up I know these are all the thought that every person who secretly has crush on someone think and it always sound stupid to me too when i watch movies and stuff like that I also get irritated and shout to film character that they should just go and confess but when I think about myself I feel so pathetic because in movie other lead is also in love with and then they live together after confession happily but yong rae hyung and i can have a happy ending?? is it possible that he can hold me in his arms again and let me feel the warmth of his body is it possible for his eyes to look only at me?

i was thinking about this thought and suddenly my phone rang and i picked up my phone without looking at name

(please support me guys and see you in chapter 3 vol 1)