The depth of yourself

Kazuki feels the water fully feeling his lungs. As the water kept growing inside his lungs, it became more and more difficult to breathe to the point where it's not only his instinct but his whole "body" which wants to throw it up. But he doesn't give up yet. Those overwhelming sensations are getting worse. The water is not stopping at his lungs and start feeling everything in his body. It makes his whole body heavier. All of a sudden, he disappears under the surface which seemed solid all this time. He feels like his weight is pushing him underwater, in the depth of the inner world. He feels the water running through his skin. However the feeling isn't unpleasant. The water is warm, and as he sinks into it there is nothing around him but a calming atmosphere. The slow movement of sinking allows him to take his time to calm down. He gets deeper but he doesn't try to fight against it. He does his best to not cede to panic and to accept it, like his master told him to. Breathing becomes less difficult. He doesn't feel like he needs it. His lungs are full of water. No, his lungs are full of himself. 

Sounds and lights gradually fade away around him. He doesn't speak. He doesn't think. It's better not to, to be able to get to that darker part of his inner world. He just let himself go in the dark. His eyes get a last glimpse of light. Kazuki reaches out his right hand in front of him, like he is trying to touch the light a last time before disappearing. Blood starts to leak from his hands, from wounds created by the water. The pressure of the depth is slowly crushing his hands. More blood leaks from wounds on his body. He leaves a red trail behind him while he keeps sinking. The bones of his arm are slowly getting crushed and looks like he got creased and then flattened again, like a distorted version of himself. But still he senses nothing but comfort. It's like Master Yi said. It doesn't hurt. It's like what happened to the old man. Kazuki knows that he will come back untouched. He won't hurt himself. He can keep going and embrace this world. 

The water is coming in contact with the wounds, taking the place of the lost blood inside Kazuki's veins. It enters his body and fills him completely. He can feel it. He can feel himself. 

The surroundings disappear and he keeps going in the dark. There is only the dark, his mind and the water of his inner world. His body is being crushed like a fly between two hands but the pain isn't there.

"So.. It is how it feels. It's not that bad.. I could stay there.. I could keep going. Where would I go? Is there a limit? How do I know that I'm feeling it? Maybe I'm not there anymore? I can feel the water.. It's inside me.. Everywhere.. But.. I can't feel all the water.. I can't feel this whole world.. I can't feel myself.. Or can I ?"

He tries to move what remains of his arms around him. He feels them moving through the water. He exercises his mind to feel the arms in the water. As he keeps moving them, a new sensation is rising inside of him. Each time he moves, it's like something is moving inside of him. He slowly starts to sense the inner world. It is himself. This task isn't hard, as he acknowledges. But it's not his body which is directly moving. It's the water inside his veins which makes it move. He seems to be able to control this water. For a while, he has fun with this. He learns how to move every part of his body and slowly, he starts doing figures in the water. However it doesn't mean he can go back up this way. He can only go down, but now with style. He quickly grows bored of this and takes a look around him, in this lonely space.

It is quiet. There is nothing. Nothing but himself, everywhere. Then, unexpectedly, a light appears behind him. It's something he didn't feel despite his connection to the inner world. A pretty weak light for the forever darkness. Kazuki turns around to face a brightening red crack in the middle of the water. It seems to be on something solid even though there is only water in this area. He is slowly sinking towards it, but he commands the water in order to move faster towards the red light. Kazuki moves his injured arms in the direction of the crack. He puts his arms on it. Only the crack is solid. Everything else around is water. 

Right after touching the crack, he feels something weird. It's like something is missing, but also that he keeps sinking even if he is not moving. He feels the water moving on his skin. He looks below him, just to see his lower body perfectly cut, sinking by itself into the darkness. All of a sudden, he feels the water inside his lungs and the pain starts to submerge both his "body" and his mind. He starts to debate like it could help him find a solution. His whole body is in pain, filled by water which shouldn't hurt him.

And all of a sudden, everything disappears. Kazuki opens his eyes, panting, and stands up. He is still at the surface of his inner world. He is safe, like Master Yi was before. He looks at his Master, who smiles. 

"Good jo-" 

The praise of the old man is stopped by Kazuki, coughing and spitting blood from his mouth in his hands. Panicked, he looks at his master. Kazuki starts to shake and throws up a mix of water, puke and blood, under the gaze of the shocked old man. Master Yi looks at his student, worried and terrified by what's happening in front of him. He doesn't even understand what is happening to his student, therefore he doesn't have the capacity to help him. Powerless in this situation, the old man can only watch in surprise the behavior of his student's spirit towards this exercise.

"- This.. This shouldn't be possible… Did something happen while you were working on your inner world? 

-There were.. A crack.. In the water.. 

-A crack? That's weird… What could it-" 

Master Yi stops for a moment and looks at Kazuki with an expression he has never seen before. The old man realized things are worse than he feared. The night of the attack sealed Kazuki's fate.

"The scar. The scar they left that night. They put them so deep… It touched so far that it went to your essence, what defines you and the source of your powers.."

Kazuki suddenly falls on the water and starts shaking. The movements rapidly become a convulsion. The young boy is gasping for air, like hands are shocking him. It feels like long warped fingers press around his neck. He is crying and still throwing up. The water around him starts to turn red, red like blood.

"Leave your inner world, Kazuki! Open your eyes!"

Master Yi does it and Kazuki immediately follows, to get away from the torturous pain. As both of them open their eyes in the real world, Master Yi witnesses Kazuki convulsing in the pond. Kazuki, who just got back in the real world, feels his whole body shaking. A terrible pain went through his body, coming from the tip of his feet in the water to his head. The only thing that the young boy can do is scream while Master take the boy in his arms. He immediately rushed to transport him to his bedroom, a safer place for the young boy in pain. There, he looks at Kazuki suffering, screaming in agony and doubling over in pain. It's only pain, pity, worry and regret which carve the old man's face. He knows that he failed again as a master, he let his student fall in the enemy's trap.

"Oh, Gisei, old friend. Would you hate me for failing you once again ? Failing as my duty to take care of your son, the last thing which links you and me, the only memory of us which remains in this world ? I hope you don't suffer as your son does, down there with the demons which took you that night. That night, if I was there with you, a child would still have his parents. Yet, that's how things went and there is nothing we can do against it. Let's not do the same with your son, as long as he doesn't wish to die with honor. Time will take care of him and there we'll be able to witness it, you and me, side by side."

The old man leaves Kazuki's hand to rest on the side of the help. He gets on his knees and joins his hands, in a prayer. But not towards any higher being but towards his student, which he cherishes even more.

"Oh, my poor boy. What did I make of you ? I'd understand your hate. I'll do my best to redeem myself and help you, to protect you from harm."

He knows the crisis is like a fever. He gets up and slowly walks towards the exit of the bedroom to get something to cool down his body.

"Don't move. I'll be quick."