Projectile Beer

Silver strolled into the tavern, softly opening the door. His eyes were greeted by a merry sight. Mia, Greil, Bob, and Arcadius all sat at the bar, drinking and smiling. Kosmas looked stressed, but even then he couldn't keep a genuine smile off of his face, firming Dr. Silver's confidence in his choice. His mouth lit up with a mischievous smile.

Silver's eyes unwaveringly focused on the group, contemplating. No one at the bar had noticed him yet. It was simply the perfect time for a prank! 'But what should I do?' He thought. His hand went to his chin, as he almost subconsciously began rubbing his jaw. His eyes brightened.

All was well at the bar. The weary merchant convoy was oblivious, every person piss-drunk, and downing more and more beer as they messed around. Ark was already down for the count,  passed out with his head lying on the bar, drool beginning to pool. Mia, Greil, and Bob were all going beer for beer, clapping as they downed drinks with lightning-fast speed. First went Bob, then, Mia, followed by Greil.

It was clear they were having a merry competition, wherein Ark had already lost miserably. In fact, Silver grimaced, by the amount of empty mugs by the good mage, he had merely gone through two mugs, finishing half of the third before he was out for the count. By now, Silver estimated that the rowdy remaining trio were at ten whole mugs, perhaps more if Kosmas had been able to swipe any up and clean. In fact, it looked like Bob was going to finish yet another…

Plop!

Bob's drink splashed against the counter, his head managing to somehow perfectly land in the beer he spilled.

'…Nevermind that.' Silver shook his head slightly. It was a marvelous effort on Bob's side, but how exactly was he supposed to keep up with the other two monsters when he was a healer? Both Mia AND Greil were bonafide drinking veterans, able to down three mugs without a hitch! Silver's grin turned a slight bit sinister. Well, they could normally drink upwards of twenty to thirty mugs, maybe even a quarter of a barrel if they had a particularly lucky streak.

With Silver here, he would never let him empty out his stock of beer, lest they get grumpy. His gaze abruptly flashed.

ZzzZ!

A spark of electricity, invisible to anyone but Silver seemed to jump from his gaze to Kosmas, startling the latter. Kosmas jumped, and almost dropped the beer he was diligently laying in front of Greil.

"Hey Bartenderr!" Mia's voice was slightly slurred. "You canna just give him so much less than me, it has to be equal. EQUAL!" Kosmas smiled nervously while refiling it to the brim, wiping his brow in relief after seeing no complaints from the two of them. His gaze returned to Silver, whose eyes had never left Kosmas' face. Silver could see his Adam's apple bulge out as Kosmas gulped.

Silver waved his hands to placate the worried man, before giving him a weird signal. At first, Silver could tell Kosmas didn't understand, but after repeating it three different times, he knew Kosmas had gotten the drift. Well, he was pretty sure at least.

BURP!

Greil slammed down his empty mug with a near-deafening burp. "Beat that, you musty barbarian!" He grinned, wasting no time in taunting his Boss and long-time drinking partner, It seemed they had gotten this far plenty more than once.

"Who are you calling a  barbarian, you fucking pansy!" Mia practically roared out her insults. She was clearly incensed. "Pour another round, lad!" She slammed her fist down on the bar.

Somehow, being in his boss's presence seemed to calm Kosmas' nerves. He didn't shake or stutter as he previously had, instead just pouring two beers from the same barrel they had been working through all night. He stood straighter, offering the mugs to them both at once. "For this one, you two should drink together." He set the mugs down on the bar. "After all, isn't it more interesting this way?"

"Alright!" "Fine!" The two raging drunks didn't think twice before downing these mugs just as they had previously. Kosmas didn't even focus on them this time, instead electing to focus on his boss, who was clearly up to something. Even then, he still almost missed the snap Silver executed with a flash, right as the two drunkards gulped down. He might not have been able to detect anything instantly, but Kosmas keenly felt something bad was going to happen. So he lept over the bar without a second thought, retreating towards his boss, who was standing about ten feet away.

Unfortunately, no amount of quick thinking or reaction could've saved poor Kosmas. Right as he lept over the counter, planning on bypassing the drinking buddies, they turned to him.

BLURRRGGHH!!

BLARRRRGGHHHH!

Two streams of vomit, mostly made of beer and some chunks of meat, made a beeline for Kosmas, blasting him straight in the chest and knocking him into the wall. Kosmas nearly fainted right then and there. And if that wasn't bad enough, the scent reached him a split second later.

BLEEEUURGGHH!

Another projectile of vomit made its way through the air, drawing a nice line toward Mia. Alas, Kosmas wouldn't get his unintended revenge. Mia reacted instantly, bringing the head of her axe up to block the vomit, before swinging it harshly, throwing the vomit off. Her eyes locked on Kosmas, who just lay weakly against the wall.

"What. The. Hell. Was. That." Mia enunciated every word she said, pure rage taking over her previously drunken state. Greil stood, moving next to her as well, his eyes ablaze. The combined aura of the two nearly made Kosmas faint.

"Well, it seems that everyone enjoyed my little prank." Silver walked over to the bar, clapping his hands with a massive grin. He snapped his fingers, bringing Kosmas back to his senses so the lad could stand. "Kosmas, clean this up."

Kosmas groaned. But what could he do? He simply began following his orders.

Silver turned to the two remaining convoy members. "Now, I'm sure you two have enjoyed our drinks on offer tonight, but I'm afraid I must interrupt." Silver magically sat on the one clean part of the bar that was left. "Let's talk business, shall we?"

********************************************************************

A mug is about equal to 16-20 ounces. Depends on your outlook on life.