Treason

Sleep comes in unrelenting ripples, Seol blinks drowsily and frowns at Seo, who continues to read as monotonously as before. She reaches out and snatches the bounded volume from his hands, shutting it with a snap.

"Heavens," she says, sighing - drained of energy after fighting sleep for so long. "Poetry of Yi Jian has suffered enough torture for the day."

Seo gives her a look of pure annoyance. On closer inspection she could see the shadows beneath his eyes, the weariness in his expression. It tugs at her heart to think that he might have spent the days worried over her, perhaps with little sleep to spare. Seol decides to spare him.

"It's gibberish," he says in reply. "I cannot think what made you collect all these flowery empty lines, mama. They make no sense whatsoever."

"Tell that to the countless young masters who copy these lines and send them to their ladies," Seol says snappishly. "Only a man with a heart would appreciate the beauty of sentimentality General Kang."

"A man with a disease more like," he huffs, eyeing the closed book in her hands darkly. "And a woman who has a lot of time on her hands. To work out what the man meant by these superfluous words. "

"Are you accusing me of wasting time?"

"Have you been receiving poetry from young masters?"

Both of them eye the other up rather suspiciously and after a moment Seol's mouth curves up.

"Ah…" she says, lying back on her puffed pillows, satisfied. "Keep wondering." She props open the bounded poems and fingers the pages looking for her favorite one, laughing inwardly at the memory of Kang Seo reading it in a tasteless voice. "I think you ruined this one forever for me General Kang, I'd never read it without recalling your dull recitation."

There is a precise knock at the door that cuts her laughter short. Seol calls them to enter, wondering when her ladies had started to knock in such a military fashion. Instead, it is the guardsman Jung who enters, his eyes downcast in respect as he stands at the doorway. Seo rises abruptly.

"Forgive me, mama, I am needed elsewhere." He tells her, exchanging a look with the guardsman. Seol is tempted to hold him back. If not for anything else to find out what he would do. Before good sense would prevent her from going through, her fingers curl around the hem of his sleeve.

"Stay," is all she says. Seo sighs, trying not to meet her pleading eyes. Seol allows her hand to fall back, but the invitation remains. Neither of them notices when Guardsman Jung bows himself out, his face slightly tinged red.

Seo struggles with the urge for a moment longer, before raising his hand to brush his fingers over the top of her head. It is barely a touch, he consoles himself, it barely means anything. But her eyes flutter the moment tips of his fingers rake through her tousled locks. Her eyes flicker up to meet his.

"I'm relieved to see you awake, mama," he says, and drops enough of the guard he keeps on his speech for her to sense the emotion that colors his tone. "I wouldn't have forgiven myself otherwise."

"It isn't your fault," she protests mildly but Seo shakes his head.

"I allowed you to accompany me. Knowing full well that Naju is embroiled in treason of some sort. I have no excuse for my lapse of judgment."

"It is not your fault," she repeats stubbornly.

Abruptly, his palm cradles her cheek, raising her face to meet his eye. His eyes are touched with a feeling she could not comprehend.

"Don't absolve me of guilt that I rightfully deserve, mama." His words are a faintish whisper. "I don't deserve to be unconditionally forgiven. Not when you don't even know what I have done." She opens her mouth, a ready retort at the tip of her tongue. But he silences her with a simple press of his thumb on her lower lip. The touch as intimate as he had ever dared, strikes with such familiarity to her that Seol gasps. "But today is not the day I tell you of every terrible thing I've done." He mutters. "I must leave."

His eyes rake her face as if ensuring for himself that she was well and truly out of any danger.

"There are guards posted outside. Ladies personally chosen by lady Noh are on their way. Physician says you must stay abed and rest for another day or two," he continues, absentmindedly caressing her cheek as he spoke. Despite having very good counter arguments, Seol fails to counter him, distracted by the gentle strokes of rough fingers. "There are things I must go and put right. But I cannot leave you unless you promise me. Gongjunim, please, don't venture out."

"I -" She all but protests, wants to know more. What could be more important than making sure she is safe? What could draw him out if he does not wish to leave.

"Promise me," he implores. Unwillingly but helplessly, she nods once and he lets out the breath he had been holding. "I'm indebted to your highness's generosity."

"Must you leave with such formality?" She cannot help but ask. "I am not your emperor, Kang Seo."

He looks at her over his shoulder, standing at her threshold. There is a finality to the image he makes, that makes her heart thud painfully inside its ribcage.

"Oh, but you mean more than him, Gongjunim."

*

Winter is young. Snow yet to turn into an unforgiving restraint. But Seol knows the days are not far when storms would come riding in the winds and her journey to Silla will have to be put off till the milder months in the cusp of spring. Months she had, to make her point with Kang Seo.

The ladies, lady Noh had personally chosen, come with the judgment of her mother. They are a cheery bunch of young girls, who treat her as a porcelain doll rather than a person and every time she tries to inquire about the situation outside, about the absense of Kang Seo for the prolonged period, the divert the conversation with shrewd ease.

With their presence, Shinju has transformed into Songak. It's refreshing freedom dissipating into the capital's scrutiny and conclusions. Seol feels frail than she truly was, stifled by the well meaning but intruding women. They all remind her of her mother and she was beginning to resent them.

Her mother had given her a particular look when she had mutely accepted their decision to be sent to Shinju for the first time. She is a sharp woman, her mother, a queen to bring armies to heel. She had followed Seol to her chambers and sat nonchalantly on her bed as her ladies packed the room away.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She had to ask, uncomfortable with her gaze.

"Not the silk, Shinju has no use of silk," the queen gently admonished a court lady instead before addressing her husband's firstborn. "I'm uncertain if I like what I see," she had said.

"And what is that lady mother?"

"Purpose." A faint crease danced between her brows. "You, my dear, look like a woman on a mission."

"Don't I always?" Seol masked a shiver with a chuckle. The queen regards her. "Seo has enough trouble of his own. Do not add to them."

Now that she thinks of her words, a faint crease appears between her own brows. What could her mother probably mean? With her cryptic words and heavy glazes Seol never knew. Had she followed a path she was expressly warned off by making Seo her unwilling secret keeper? What excuse could he probably give for putting off their trip without exposing her injury? Was that why he was sent away? Because he had to accept his failure in protecting her and was in return punished for it? She had foolishly made him keep a secret from his monarch, Seol feels a cold trail of fear at that. Where on earth was he now?

Seol could have wept with relief when Geum Nari arrived at her chambers one fine day. Tousled and dusted with snow, but called to the compound of Kangs under Seo's hand. Despite her earlier feelings towards the older girl, Seol couldn't help but drown in her warmth. This was the only lady Seo had taken liberty to choose for her and in turn Nari who had left the palace service once had decided to return simply to accompany her. Most important of all, she doesn't try to spin her questions off.

"My lord Kang is out hunting," she offers the first answer in weeks, her eyes twinkling with mirth. However the shift in the mood of the room gives Seol a pause. Her ladies with their skittish gazes and fiddling thumbs did not please her. Whatever Nari's lord was out hunting could not be good.

**