Chapter XXXIII: Skeletal Shenanigans

Even after all these years, the Midden of bellow the college was an exceptionally eerie place to find one's self at any time, maybe it was the echoes of the thousands of experiments gone wrong or just the general barely contained deranged insanity of its usual inhabitants echoing against the walls like some sort of edgy perpetual motion engine.

Still, the place had its own kind of charm... then again it may be that I am just as insane as the rest of them and just felt at home in a dark icy cave filled with labs the contents of which probably counted for multiple crimes against humanity, I guess we would never know.

The awkward mental silence that followed as the thought entered my mind was probably worse than any chastisement I could have given myself.

And thus, like any reasonable adult, I increased my pace and ran away from the truth and into the depths of Phineas' personal laboratory.

The hinges of the large wooden door creaked loudly, likely not having been oiled for years now, and immediately drew the attention of the duo of inhabitants within.

Phineas, as always, looked exactly the same covered in his glamor, but his apprentice's appearance gave me pause.

Marwyn looked almost dead to my mundane sight, even if his aura was stronger than before to the magical one, his eyes were sunken and his hair stringy and even falling off at some spots, he was so thin that his robes hung off him more like a sack than actual clothes and a small breeze could probably knock him over and break a few bones in the process.

Naturally my brain to mouth filter chose this exact moment to give up the ghost as I blurted "Who ate your ass and then shat it out?"

The gaunt Breton startled at my words and proceeded to momentarily glare before looking away with some very mixed emotions radiating off him.

Phineas on the other hand cackled loudly "No one did this to him but himself" His voice was humorous on the surface but still carried a weight seldom felt from the usually relaxed lich "He is going through the cleansing."

I paused and gave my once fellow student a quick once over "I see..." I trailed off before looking him straight in the eyes "Why?"

The cleansing was a process I was vaguely familiar with, eagerly described to me by Phineas while we were busy discussing the different organ systems of the homunculus project, it was a long-term ritual practiced by necromancers preparing themselves for 'ascending' to lichdom.

In short, the prospective undead would starve himself to near death, to the point that they would be able to kill themselves with a singular sip of a sufficiently potent poison, thus skipping the whole agonizing process of dying slowly and ripping their soul out before forcing it into a skeleton. The technique essentially allowed someone to become a lich without too much risk of turning insane, and was thus greatly valued by any necromancer with a grain of sense.

That still did not explain why Marwyn decided to attempt it, and he knew it well if his look was anything to go by. He shuffled slightly, as much as his atrophied muscles would allow him, and spoke in a raspy voice "I am too weak." As if that explained everything.

"So?" I ask as if he was an idiot "I rather think that you have all the time in the world to grow stronger, and sacrificing so much for a bit of a power boost is most definitely not worth it."

He makes a noise somewhere between a sigh and a grunt "As if you would ever understand how it feels to stagnate. I am not talented nor am I terribly intelligent, so all that is left is sheer effort, and being undead will give me both the time and energy to invest that effort."

'Bitch I had to wait over a century to get magic and you got it from the moment you were born.' I grouse internally but keep the thoughts to myself, instead I give him a very disappointed look, knowing that there was already no going back for him "I understand the logistics of it Marwyn." I say somewhat condescendingly "What I do not understand is why you need to be more powerful? What is worth the sacrifice you are making?" Then it hits me "Or are you simply just that power hungry?"

His frail body twitches as I hit the nail on the head, followed by him turning defensive "And so what if I was? Are you going to tell me that you don't hunger for power yourself?! Admit it, you just got lucky to be born to a powerful bloodline, otherwise you would be exactly where I am right now!"

"Well now, someone is bitter." I drawl, surprising him by not lashing out "And yet for all my power I know why I need it and why I have it." I say with utter certainty "Tell me, Marwyn, do you?"

His brows furrow as he says nothing.

"What will you do with your power once you have it?" I press "What will you do with the immortality? Do you plan to reach the highest heights and just stay there, withering away with a mind incapable of forgetting anything, slowly descending into insanity before someone has to put you out of your misery lest you make your mistakes the world's problem? Or do you have an actual actionable plan for once you reach the goal you are so ready to throw your life away for?"

His expression grows more and more distraught with every question as the weight of his choices smashes into him like a tidal wave. He has probably thought long and hard about his decision, but not long and hard enough.

But before he can answer I raise a hand to stop him "I don't care about your answers Marwyn, I gain nothing from them. Think on them for your own sake, and I will be more than satisfied."

His earlier indignation was now completely replaced with confusion and even mild panic, finally he offered me a very slight tortured nod "Apologies for that, the cleansing is... taxing on both body and mind."

I wave him off "It would be ridiculous if it were not, remember to think on what I said."

He looks to Phineas who rolls his illusory eyes and starts shooing him away with his hands "Go on then apprentice, you are of no use to me in such a state."

Marwyn grunts affirmatively and levitates himself into a side room before closing the door and barring it telekinetically.

"It was partially because of his jealousy towards you, you know." Phineas mutters soberly "He isn't wrong in thinking that he would have never surpassed the expert level in any school save maybe enchantment during his lifetime, but a good part of the decision came from the massive shadow you cast."

"And would that be such a bad thing?" I ask "He could have had a life and a family, something worth living for. All he will have now is bitterness and regrets."

"We are working on the homunculus project for this very reason, lest you forget." The lich points out "His actions will take a toll on him, yes, but he will still be able to live after a fashion."

"It is the principle of the matter." I shrug "Sure he will probably convince you to make him one in a few decades but it will not have been his achievement, his immortality will be done by a shortcut and then further diminished by your handout."

He turns silent at that for a long while, before finally asking "You think I should not help him then?"

I shake my head "That is not what I am saying, I merely point out the likely consequences of his rushed decisions."

"Ah." The lich nods in understanding "And here I thought you considered the poor lad's future below your considerations."

"He is below me, objectively speaking." I do not hesitate in answering "But he is still a friend."

"How incredibly cute." the Skeletor wannabe drawls "If I had guts I would probably retch."

"Uh huh." I deadpan "So says the one looking over him like a mother hen, what is it Phineas, can't bother admitting that your mirror has grown on you?"

His entire skeleton twitches as he mutters "Fucking overly perceptive knife ears." Very much knowing that I heard him he looks up "Anyway, this is not why you came down here" He waves for me to follow "So come on then, let us see what insights the orphan maker of Dawnstar can provide."

I stop moving as both my eye and my fingers twitch in unison "You know Phineas" I speak and my voice is as cold as ice "One day, we will finish your body, and you will revel in your restored life, you will grow used to the pleasures of being alive and soon you will even grow relaxed, content even." I walk up behind him and whisper where his ear would be "When that day comes you will suddenly feel a spike of bone being shoved so far up your ass you will see it when you speak, and you will know exactly who did it." I pause before adding "This is not a threat."

The long dead reflex hits him as he starts to shiver, muttering a quick "Fuck." Before quickly getting himself under control and giving me a light glare.

My chilly expression is swiftly replaced with a serene smile "But that won't happen for years to come, so let us indeed proceed to the real reason I have come here."

And so I followed the grumbling lich and we got to work, we spent the entire night finishing up a good chunk of the project. Valerica's teachings helped us immensely as once she joined us in our research it took us mere months to blow through most of the organ systems and speed up the process massively.

The only part that still remained untouched was the nervous system, and that would inevitably take us more than the rest of the project combined. Still, we were more than satisfied with the results and I left the old lich with a promise of witnessing his ascension to a master in alteration in a few months.

His third mastery, in fact.

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Any further delving into the secrets of the flesh was interrupted when I sensed a distant force of warriors slowly marching toward the city, quickly recognizing them as my own men and the victorious troops of Winterhold returning after our great battle.

It took them an additional hour to reach the city and by then the news had long since spread and an impromptu parade was organized by the citizens, all of them cheering like mad as Garm and Thorfinn marched in at the front of their men, followed by Oren and Anondor and my own forces.

They received a bit less cheers but only just as the residents of Winterhold were practically considered our kinsmen at this point so they were more than willing to forget literal millennia of racial conflict and welcomed my people as brothers and sisters.

Among their number, I also noticed a pair of black robed individuals attempting to blend into the crowd, the pair of necromancers I had given recommendations for the college had also arrived with the army and looked almost hopeful as they beheld the sight of he ancient structure.

I joined Jarl Assur as he spoke to his soldiers, extolling their bravery and awarding honor-names to those who distinguished themselves in the battle. Even some of my people were given eponyms by the Nordic Lord, which in turn was met with great approval from his own.

I still found the fact he named Anondor Bright-Blade hilarious though, truly the Nords were peaks of creativity.

The naming ceremony was soon overturned by each soldier showing off their veritable mountains of loot, all of them offering a small tribute to the Jarl as befitted an old custom, and all of said tribute being refused, as befitted a canny politician.

By the time that was done, Assur decided it was a very bright idea for me to say some words to the men, and so I found myself standing before the force of warriors with a wry smirk on my face "Kind of odd for me to stand here when I was there with you, but I guess a lord has to make you lot feel better about yourselves even if it is awkward."

Some of the warriors chuckled at that, most of my men looked mildly exasperated though.

"What is there to say?" I pretend to ponder aloud "You have all shown great bravery in following my charge to the enemy camp, and every single one of you has proved their mettle thrice over." I paused dramatically, looking all of them over "Well, I guess there is one thing." The crowd grows silent and even the soldiers look up in curiosity, the silence is shattered as I deadpan "Next time we go to war, please take care not to piss yourselves in the middle of a fight, some of us have a strong sense of smell and that is most definitely a memory I do not wish reinforced."

The city may as well have turned dead as everyone realized what I had just said... And then Garm burst into laughter, followed by a good chunk of the Nords present, slowly and awkwardly joined by the rest of the troops and then the residents.

Assur was just looking at me like I had just killed his dog, but to his credit he recovered quickly and called for a feast, hoping against hope that people would forget my... wisdom.

Hours later, after I finished regaling yet another group of excitable children with tales of my adventures I felt a familiar presence to my side. I turned to see Shalazar sitting there and sipping on some mead.

His eyes met with mine and he spoke in a seldom serious tone "My student, you are ready for your final lesson." He declared as if water was wet.

"And what exactly is this lesson?" I asked cautiously.

Instead of answering he simply snapped his fingers and transported us to the peak of his tower, I could have probably resisted the teleportation at this point but I was way too curious to see what this was all about.

The Almighty Lizard Wizard turned to me with what was for once a truly serious look "Reyvin, do you trust me?"

The weight of his voice made any doubt on just how serious he was disappear in a flash. I stare at the tiny creature for a long while before slowly nodding "I think I do."

"Do you, or do you not?" He repeats.

This time I take a while to answer, my paranoia warring with the fact that I did in fact trust the tiny monstrosity before me. Finally I sighed "Yes, I do trust you."

"Then do not resist." He says and suddenly appears right in front of my face, his index finger touching my forehead and a blast of unfamiliar energy slamming straight into the shroud surrounding my soul.

Just in case I gave a quick command to Scorch to ensure his ass is roasted if any fuckery ensued, and with great reluctance I allowed the energy to pass my defenses.

Then everything went white.

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Drop a stone and you too may be poked by a tiny albino lizard!

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