About Bad Memories of the Past

At that time, my two best friends Fredert and Krad, and I were playing in a park.

"This flower is really pretty, isn't it? It's so beautiful. Do you know the name of this flower?" Fredert asked me and Krad as she pointed at the beautiful flower in bloom.

"I think it's a Cattleya," Krad replied.

"How do you know the name of this flower, Krad?" Fredert's eyes lit up amazed that Krad knew the name of a flower she didn't know.

"I saw it in a book my mom had."

I, who did not know flowers, could only listen to their conversation.

"Hey, what time is it? Looks like it's time for lunch."

Fredert took out the lunch she had prepared for us. Although only 9 years old, Fredert is already good at cooking. Maybe it's because her mother has passed away and she only lives with her father. Fredert's father, Uncle Sight, is nice. He loves Fredert very much. Uncle Sight always gives Fredert what she wants. I sometimes feel jealous of Fredert because she has a father who loves her very much. In contrast to me, my father died a long time ago and now I only live with my mother. I've always felt that my mom is very strange and often doesn't care about me, which is why I'm not very close to her. I also rarely talked to Mom and she didn't seem to mind that at all.

There was one time when Mom completely ignored me. It was when our school was having a parent visit. I was very happy to know that Mom would be coming to school to see how we were learning. I wanted to make her proud. I always believed that if she made me proud, she would love and care for me more. That's why I studied hard that night, to prepare myself to answer the questions in the quiz that would be held tomorrow. The teacher had told us that during the parents' visit tomorrow, there would be a quiz to show the parents the extent of their children's knowledge. I'm determined that in tomorrow's quiz session, I must be able to answer as many questions as possible. Once again, I did it for one reason only: to make Mom proud and start paying attention to me. That night I studied hard.

But how disappointed I was, on the day of the visit I didn't witness Mom's presence. I felt that my efforts to study all night had ended in vain. I was really sad. But I tried to think positively, maybe mom was busy that's why she couldn't come. I won't give up, there are still many other opportunities I can do to make Mom proud of me.

***

That day, I ran from school to home. I ran very fast because all I wanted was to get home and see Mom. Today was the report card distribution day, after one week of exams. I wanted to show this report card to Mom right away. I've been studying hard to get good grades and my efforts have paid off. My grades are very good, I'm sure Mom will be happy to see them.

Arriving home, I saw Mom sitting and reading a newspaper.

"Mom, look at my report card!" I said this while holding out my report card to Mom.

"Keep it on the table," she replied, without looking at me or the report card that I was still holding out.

"But Mom, I just want you to see it now!"

"You're so stubborn, Elliot!!! I told you to put it on the table, I'll look at it later. Can't you see I'm busy? Go away already, you better play!"

Mom said that while yelling at me. For the umpteenth time, I felt disappointed again. But I was sure that after Mom saw my report card, she would be happy and pay more attention to me. I decided to wait until Mom saw my report card.

However, it seemed that my desire to get Mom's attention would never come true. Mom never saw my report card, and she didn't even touch it. The report card that I kept on the table seemed to not exist for her. My tears began to flow, feeling that my hard work meant nothing. From that moment on, I gave up and decided I wouldn't care about Mom anymore. I wouldn't do anything to attract her attention anymore.

Fredert's father was very different from my mom. Krad and I often went to Fredert's house and her father was very kind to us. Being at Fredert's house made me feel the warmth of parental love that I had never felt before. I loved Fredert's father, and even considered him as my father.

"Elli ... oooot ... what are you thinking about?" Fredert's question broke my reverie.

I chuckled, "N-Nothing. Your food is delicious as always, Fredert." I said that to change the subject because I was embarrassed to be caught daydreaming while we were eating together.

Fredert was a lot like Uncle Sight. Her kindness, her jovial nature, her concern for me, they were alike. I already think of them as my own family. As for Krad, he too is like my own brother. Although my mother never really loved me, I felt lucky to have friends like Fredert and Krad to keep me company. I also had Uncle Sight who was always kind and smiled gently at me. It made me never feel lonely.

***

"Fredert... Fredert... hurry back to your home!"

Suddenly a voice rang out, and someone approached us who were eating lunch. The owner of the voice was Grandma Florida, Fredert's neighbor.

"What's wrong, Grandma?" asked Fredert, looking astonished that Grandma Florida had rushed over to us so hastily that her breathing was labored, a sign that she had been running around.

"Never mind, hurry up and go home." Grandma Florida now looked at me and Krad, "You two better keep Fredert company too!"

After hearing Grandma Florida's words, we quickly cleaned up the food and headed to Fredert's house. It seemed like something was wrong, so Grandma Florida had urged us to go to Fredert's house quickly. Hopefully, nothing bad would happen there.

When we arrived at Fredert's house, what we saw was a very chaotic scene, with many people gathered there.

"I-It's not a police car, why are there so many police at your house, Fredert?"

Fredert ignored Krad's question, then she immediately entered her house and the two of us followed her from behind.

To our surprise, Fredert's house was a complete mess, with blood splattered everywhere. Just glancing at it, I knew the blood came from Uncle Sight's body lying on the floor.

"Dad... Dad... Dad!!!" Fredert was screaming and crying, as were Krad and me. Uncle Sight's bloodied condition was too sad to look at.

"Uncle ... Uncle ... Uncle Sight!!!" we shouted in unison, with tears already flowing freely. I wonder who had the heart to do this to someone as good as Uncle Sight?

I jolted awake from my sleep while holding my left chest which felt my heart beating rapidly. What had just happened seemed real even though I now realized I had been dreaming. A dream of bad memories from the past. Bad memories that completely changed the lives of me and my two best friends.